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Why do gays struggle to see possessiveness as a good thing?


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Posted

I've been thinking about this. Why is it that in gay relationships, the moment someone gets a little possessive, people are quick to label it as toxic? I mean, isn't it natural to feel a bit jealous or want to know what your partner's up to? I believe being possessive is just part of caring. If you don't care where your partner is or who they're talking to, do you really care at all? Look at straight couples. You'll see a lot of girls letting their boyfriends check their phones or ask who they're hanging out with, and they don't get mad about it. It's almost like, ''he's jealous because he cares,'' and honestly, that's true! It's not necessarily about being controlling, it's about wanting to stay close to the person you love. If someone cares about you, they're probably going to feel a little jealous, and i think that's totally normal... 

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Posted (edited)

It depends on the degree. Also, too much jealousy is dangerous. 

Edited by Princess Aurora
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Posted

Begone strawman

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Posted

Let it out girl. Yeah, I can get possessive too. 

Spoiler

If I'm seeing a guy and find out he's sleeping with someone else, I sleep with that person too. I've got to mark my territory. :keir:

We just have to remember that people aren't possessions.

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Posted

It's depends on how possessive the person is because shite can turn left really quick…

Posted
Just now, Baby Dancer said:

Let it out girl. Yeah, I can get possessive too. 

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If I'm seeing a guy and find out he's sleeping with someone else, I sleep with that person too. I've got to mark my territory. :keir:

We just have to remember that people aren't possessions.

Girl have some class omg.

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Posted

I only hear about this problem with straight couples tbh

Posted

Gay men tend to be more independent than our straight counterparts. Infringing on the freedom of somebody who's been oppressed in the way LGBT people are is a shitty move too. :angelo:

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Posted

the fact that some people see it as normal doesn't mean that it's good :skull:

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Posted

Because most of time that possessiveness comes from jealousy or insecurity?

 

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Posted

Gay men tend to focus their possessiveness on celebrity women instead of their relationships 

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Posted

Period. If he isn't treating you like this then it's time to say sayonara 

 

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Posted
21 minutes ago, nsst said:

I've been thinking about this. Why is it that in gay relationships, the moment someone gets a little possessive, people are quick to label it as toxic? I mean, isn't it natural to feel a bit jealous or want to know what your partner's up to? I believe being possessive is just part of caring. If you don't care where your partner is or who they're talking to, do you really care at all? Look at straight couples. You'll see a lot of girls letting their boyfriends check their phones or ask who they're hanging out with, and they don't get mad about it. It's almost like, ''he's jealous because he cares,'' and honestly, that's true! It's not necessarily about being controlling, it's about wanting to stay close to the person you love. If someone cares about you, they're probably going to feel a little jealous, and i think that's totally normal... 

dude, it's not normal in straight relationships either. the f? 

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Posted (edited)

I think its because you only hear that it is a problem when it is a problem, so you only hear the bad cases when there is positive aspects to it (feeling jealous is cute too, if its not harmfull)

Edited by LittleStarmen
Posted

but that's not normal in straight relationships? i can understand being a bit jealous or whatever but regularly checking your boyfriends phone and demanding to know where they are 24/7 is crazy. 

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Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, nostalgic said:

Period. If he isn't treating you like this then it's time to say sayonara 

 

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when will you realize that life isn't a lana del rey song?

 

some of y'all really need to seek help/jesus

Edited by gatito
Posted

I get EXTREMELY turned on when my man gets jealous and possessive 

Posted
13 minutes ago, UnusualBoy said:

Because most of time that possessiveness comes from jealousy or insecurity?

 

i mean, if you genuinely care about someone, wanting to keep them close isn't necessarily a red flag. it's just part of being human, right? so it's natural to feel a bit insecure sometimes, especially if you're invested in the relationship

Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, Dolce Vita said:

but that's not normal in straight relationships? i can understand being a bit jealous or whatever but regularly checking your boyfriends phone and demanding to know where they are 24/7 is crazy. 

tbf a little control can be normal, especially when you really care about someone. it's not about trying to dictate their every move, it's more about wanting to ensure they're safe and happy.. if someone is invested in a relationship, it makes sense that they'd want to keep an eye on things

 

Edited by nsst
Posted

I find it sexy personally. I want to feel like u own me and I own you (in a cute way lol)

Posted

Being protective =/= being possessive 

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Posted (edited)
31 minutes ago, Badgalbriel said:

dude, it's not normal in straight relationships either. the f? 

it is 

 

there's definitely a double standard when it comes to possessiveness in relationships. in straight relationships if a guy shows a bit of jealousy or wants to check on his girlfriend, it's often seen as cute and caring.. but in gay relationships, the same behavior gets labeled quickly as toxic

 

 

Edited by nsst
Posted
Just now, nsst said:

it is though

 

there's definitely a double standard when it comes to possessiveness in relationships. in straight relationships if a guy shows a bit of jealousy or wants to check on his girlfriend, it's often seen as cute and caring.. but in gay relationships, the same behavior gets labeled quickly as toxic

 

 

No it doesn't. Only actually toxic behavior is labeled as toxic behavior. 

Posted
8 minutes ago, nsst said:

tbf a little control can be normal, especially when you really care about someone. it's not about trying to dictate their every move, it's more about wanting to ensure they're safe and happy.. if someone is invested in a relationship, it makes sense that they'd want to keep an eye on things

This is not possessiveness..... 

8 minutes ago, nsst said:

 

Posted
38 minutes ago, nostalgic said:

Period. If he isn't treating you like this then it's time to say sayonara 

 

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who r these ppl @nsst

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