AvadaKedavra Posted August 31 Posted August 31 (edited) My Mental Breakdown I've never been there, but I had a psychotic breakdown in 2011-2012 and almost ended up there. For a long time, I was on meds, taking about four pills a day. I took a lot of Rivotril. I have a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, but mine is like a random harlequin instead of corporal actions, constantly inserting scary situations into my mind—nightmarish thoughts that make me afraid. I get fear of the most random situations sometimes I see my mind as divided into two sides: my healthy conscious mind and a part of the unconscious trying to destroy me. "911" by Lady Gaga is very relatable for that reason—my biggest enemy is me, pop a 911. I tried to block it out, but it was hard. Over the years, I learned to manage it, and I'm really okay today. It took a lot of resilience, positivity, and fighting. If I hadn't fought, I'd probably be in a mental health center today. All of this stems from traumatic events in my pre-teen and teenage years because my childhood was perfect—10/10. My Neighboor I had a neighbor "exfriend" who was in the psych ward, but it was because she had severe bipolar disorder and was hyper-jealous. When her boyfriend left her, she had to be there. Last year, I met her, and we became friends. I invited her over to my place to watch movies and meet my mom. We hung out in various places, and she seemed really nice and composed. Whenever we talked, she came across as completely normal and very kind. One day, she confided in me that she has schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and spilled the story of the psych ward. It didn't bother me, and our friendship continued for a few weeks. But then, out of the blue around Christmas 2023, she suddenly stopped talking to me and even blocked my mom. I sent her new year and xmas message and she didnt answer any of them. Now, whenever she sees my mom, she gives her a cold angry look. Her moods are unpredictable—one day she seems off, another day she's fine, then she's crying, and another time she's overly cheerful. Now i regret talkin with my neighboor and i see her a lot cause we live in the same apartment block. Edited August 31 by AvadaKedavra 1
YourFavoriteWeapon Posted August 31 Author Posted August 31 2 minutes ago, AvadaKedavra said: I've never been there, but I had a psychotic breakdown in 2011-2012 and almost ended up there. For a long time, I was on meds, taking about four pills a day. I took a lot of Rivotril. I have a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, but mine is like a random harlequin instead of corporal actions, constantly inserting scary situations into my mind—nightmarish thoughts that make me afraid. I get fear of the most random situations sometimes I see my mind as divided into two sides: my healthy conscious mind and a part of the unconscious trying to destroy me. "911" by Lady Gaga is very relatable for that reason—my biggest enemy is me, pop a 911. I tried to block it out, but it was hard. Over the years, I learned to manage it, and I'm really okay today. It took a lot of resilience, positivity, and fighting. If I hadn't fought, I'd probably be in a mental health center today. All of this stems from traumatic events in my pre-teen and teenage years because my childhood was perfect—10/10. I had a neighbor "exfriend" who was in the psych ward, but it was because she had severe bipolar disorder and was hyper-jealous. When her boyfriend left her, she had to be there. Last year, I met her, and we became friends. I invited her over to my place to watch movies and meet my mom. We hung out in various places, and she seemed really healthy and well. Whenever we talked, she came across as completely normal and very kind. One day, she confided in me that she has schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. It didn't bother me, and our friendship continued for a few weeks. But then, out of the blue around Christmas 2023, she suddenly stopped talking to me and even blocked my mom. I sent her new year and xmas message and she didnt answer any of them. Now, whenever she sees my mom, she gives her a cold angry look. Her moods are unpredictable—one day she seems off, another day she's fine, then she's crying, and another time she's overly cheerful. Now i regret talkin with my neighboor This story is a whirlwind but I'm glad you're doing better it seems. I also have OCD as well and recently made a thread describing my expediences with it:
AvadaKedavra Posted August 31 Posted August 31 (edited) 14 minutes ago, YourFavoriteWeapon said: This story is a whirlwind but I'm glad you're doing better it seems. I also have OCD as well and recently made a thread describing my expediences with it: Thanks, honey. You're so sweet. I know you'll be able to manage it. Is taking control over the thoughts in your head, so don't give up. It's about finding the right way to steer your thinking towards a healthier direction The door is there. Hope youre able to find it. The human mind is incredibly complex. I often find some of my fears and irrational thoughts so so stupid, but my brain is like damaged-recovering, probably due to all the tough situations I've been through in the past????? then... The brain's recognition system tends to see many things as threats, triggering a fight-or-flight response aka anxiety. We need more research on different aspects of consciousness-sub and how to redirect bad thoughts. I also think this issue affects people without mental health situations Many people get stressed about life and hold onto negative thoughts, even when they try to take a break from it all. They end up sufferin all types of diseases (digestive-cardiac....) for those stored negative ideas. Respect to all of those who endure stressing situations everyday and are able totally to unwind and just calm themselves. I wanna learn about the art of relaxation Edited August 31 by AvadaKedavra 1
YourFavoriteWeapon Posted August 31 Author Posted August 31 4 minutes ago, AvadaKedavra said: Thanks, honey. You're so sweet. I know you'll be able to manage it. Is taking control over the thoughts in your head, so don't give up. It's about finding the right way to steer your thinking towards a healthier direction The human mind is incredibly complex. I often find some of my fears and irrational thoughts so so stupid, but my brain is like damaged, probably due to all the tough situations I've been through????? then... The brain's recognition system tends to see many things as threats, triggering a fight-or-flight response aka anxiety. We need more research on different aspects of consciousness-sub and how to redirect bad thoughts. I also think this issue affects people without mental health problems. Many people get stressed about life and hold onto negative thoughts, even when they try to take a break from it all. They end up sufferin all types of diseases for those stored negative ideas. Respect to all of those who endure stressing situations everyday and are able totally to unwind and just calm themselves. I wanna learn about the art of relaxation Thank you for the advice and for sharing your story, I'm always here for you as a fellow OCDer and Little Monster 15 minutes ago, PrettyHurts said: No and I hope I never have to but who knows Knock on wood that you don't
Matchatea Posted August 31 Posted August 31 (edited) Ngl, if you are on ATRL, you definitely are mentally ill…. Shout out to my fellow SSRIs girlies!! also happy you are in a better place mentally!! this is a joke btw, I have too many issues so it's more a joke about myself, don't wanna offend ppl Edited August 31 by Matchatea 1 1
YourFavoriteWeapon Posted August 31 Author Posted August 31 12 minutes ago, Matchatea said: Ngl, if you are on ATRL, you definitely are mentally ill…. Shout out to my fellow SSRIs girlies!! also happy you are in a better place mentally!! this is a joke btw, I have too many issues so it's more a joke about myself, don't wanna offend ppl ATRL lowkey the gay pop music version of places like KiwiFarms or LipstickAlley in terms of how mentally ill the user majority must be. Also I'm on Wellbutrin sis but was on Abilify and Trileptal for over a year until I found out my bipolar was a misdiagnosis and I just have major depressive disorder coupled with severe ADHD/OCD/C-PTSD (Part of Me.mp3 thinks I could be very mildly autistic too but idk about that) Also don't worry about offending everyone, we all got thick skin and an elastic heart 3
Mornings Posted August 31 Posted August 31 2 hours ago, YourFavoriteWeapon said: I would've loved to be in the psych ward with a Fighter omg, I remember when I and all the Gen-Zers (there were five of us, one of them was some Lauryn Hill/Mitski stan who kept dragging Nicki ) I started singing Beautiful and no one knew what I was singing. I was like "It's Christina Aguileria" and only 2/4 knew who she was. Omg are you in NYC and did he call Nicki a hormonal chicken? I swear this sounds just like my ex who was in and out for physchosis 1
YourFavoriteWeapon Posted August 31 Author Posted August 31 2 minutes ago, Mornings said: Omg are you in NYC and did he call Nicki a hormonal chicken? I swear this sounds just like my ex who was in and out for physchosis No I'm near Philly But speaking of Nicki when they first gave me the iPads to use Spotify on, I noticed the recent search history was ALL Nicki. Ofc a Barb was in there
EnigmaticAndroid Posted August 31 Posted August 31 1 hour ago, YourFavoriteWeapon said: Why is this kinda cute omg It was such a kii. We had some good laughs 1
Matchatea Posted August 31 Posted August 31 1 hour ago, YourFavoriteWeapon said: ATRL lowkey the gay pop music version of places like KiwiFarms or LipstickAlley in terms of how mentally ill the user majority must be. Also I'm on Wellbutrin sis but was on Abilify and Trileptal for over a year until I found out my bipolar was a misdiagnosis and I just have major depressive disorder coupled with severe ADHD/OCD/C-PTSD (Part of Me.mp3 thinks I could be very mildly autistic too but idk about that) Also don't worry about offending everyone, we all got thick skin Reveal hidden contents and an elastic heart Thank you bestie! Also I have OCD so twins lol 1
Stardom Posted September 1 Posted September 1 3 hours ago, YourFavoriteWeapon said: Oh btw one of the girls there was a huge Lana stan, you would've loved her. She didn't talk to anyone for the first few days bc her mania and OOD (oppositional defiant disorder) was out of control, but after they sedated the good sis with some booty juice she asked me if I was gay and I was like "Yes who do you stan" and I was like "I really like Lana" and she was like "I love Brooklyn Baby!" and I was like "YASSSS girl". I wonder where she is now, probably back in there bc she told me she went 11 times in 2023. Bless her. Please write a book, I'd eat it UP
AshleyLovescats887 Posted September 1 Posted September 1 I mean, I probably belong in one but i'm a free ***** baby
YourFavoriteWeapon Posted September 1 Author Posted September 1 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Stardom said: Please write a book, I'd eat it UP I feel like I have an interesting story to tell about every patient there but I'll use fake names for them 2 minutes ago, TheArgonaut said: Yes, too many times actually Four times for me sis I get it. First time I was 8 and tried to commit suicide, then once when I was 17, once when I was 18, and most recently this February when I was 23. Edited September 1 by YourFavoriteWeapon
SoSickOfThatSOL Posted September 1 Posted September 1 First of all, I hope you're doing all right now! And to answer your question, yes, actually, I did two a two month rotation. Every single day was a story on it's own
TheArgonaut Posted September 1 Posted September 1 59 minutes ago, YourFavoriteWeapon said: Four times for me sis I get it. First time I was 8 and tried to commit suicide, then once when I was 17, once when I was 18, and most recently this February when I was 23. 8 and in the psychward is crazy. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. Is it at least a little bit better now? 1
YourFavoriteWeapon Posted September 1 Author Posted September 1 (edited) 8 minutes ago, TheArgonaut said: 8 and in the psychward is crazy. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. Is it at least a little bit better now? TW: I was dealing with untreated depression and trauma from being molested by a classmate which drove me to a near suicide attempt via jump rope and I was in a children's behavioral center for over a week but yes I am doing a lot better. Life has gotten really good in the past few months and though I know he'd hate me to credit him for my life and mental health improving, I do really credit my boyfriend because he saved my life and always helps keep my Head Above Water.mp3. I love him so much I really doubt I'll ever have to go back to the psych ward again bc I know better than to ever think about commiting suicide (I met a woman at my most recent psych ward visit whose son committed suicide at my age and seeing the way it completely ****** her up mentally really slapped some sense into me) and if it ever gets too bad I can always do PHP (partial hospitalization program), which I've done many times and found it super helpful. Edited September 1 by YourFavoriteWeapon
punisher Posted September 1 Posted September 1 5 hours ago, YourFavoriteWeapon said: He also told me that he was in Dua Lipa's DMs but she rejected him because "she wasn't comfortable taking someone else's virginity". but i was told she is faceless 2
YourFavoriteWeapon Posted September 1 Author Posted September 1 2 minutes ago, punisher said: but i was told she is faceless She's known by everyone: gays, kids, straight locals, and psych ward attendees
monologueNacafe Posted September 1 Posted September 1 Not yet. Probably would've checked into one at some point but I can't be trapped somewhere without my phone
TheArgonaut Posted September 1 Posted September 1 (edited) 1 hour ago, YourFavoriteWeapon said: TW: Reveal hidden contents I was dealing with untreated depression and trauma from being molested by a classmate which drove me to a near suicide attempt via jump rope and I was in a children's behavioral center for over a week but yes I am doing a lot better. Life has gotten really good in the past few months and though I know he'd hate me to credit him for my life and mental health improving, I do really credit my boyfriend because he saved my life and always helps keep my Head Above Water.mp3. I love him so much I really doubt I'll ever have to go back to the psych ward again bc I know better than to ever think about commiting suicide (I met a woman at my most recent psych ward visit whose son committed suicide at my age and seeing the way it completely ****** her up mentally really slapped some sense into me) and if it ever gets too bad I can always do PHP (partial hospitalization program), which I've done many times and found it super helpful. Oh my gosh, I am so sorry that happened to you. Wow Keep taking care of your mental health as much as you can. I'm sending lots of healing and self-care your way. Edited September 1 by TheArgonaut
Suilen Posted September 1 Posted September 1 I was forced into one after a mandatory psych evaluation to check whether one is fit to be conscripted showed that I was 'insane' (their words). The truth is that those tests were designed with men in mind, and I wasn't one, so... Still, I couldn't tell them I was trans since that wouldn't have gone well, psychiatrists that are connected to the army are very conservative. At first, I was given a one-bed room, then they changed their mind and reassigned me to a room with two guys. I was apprehensive due to them potentially being jerks, but they were... decent. The one month there wasn't bad - the main rule was basically to behave yourself, let them run tests on you and participate in whatever activities they made for us. If you behaved, they let you go home for the weekend. Using phones was allowed, though you could only charge them in the common room, and there was always a fear that it could be stolen. The only drawback was the fact that it was all happening during the last month of my final year at college, and while there were no classes, I was supposed to be working on some stuff, and I could only do that on those free weekends. Everything turned out to be fine, but it doesn't mean that it wasn't killing me then. In the end, they gave me a vague diagnosis as I'd kept my mouth shut regarding the trans thing. In a way, that was a reward for good behavior since that diagnosis prevented me from being conscripted and stuff, and I remember one of the guys I was with being pissed at the fact that they hadn't given him one. That diagnosis later gave me some headache when I was trying to get diagnosed with gender dysphoria, though it wasn't a deciding factor. A weird experience overall, and a boring one, I suppose. Anything more exciting than that would've prolonged my stay, and that was the last thing I needed. Apparently, that ward was pretty lenient unlike another one in the vicinity, so thank my lucky stars I wasn't put there? 1
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