discussion My colleague still can't stand me

[Newt]

You're not entitled to anything from him. Except a basic level of professional respect as a colleague. Stop looking for friends at work, unless it's a natural, mutual progression

 

Sounds to me like you need to just spend more energy on building a fulfilling life with people outside of the work place

[ImsoLOUD]

36 minutes ago, Hot Volcano said:

At times I did make some jokes, was somewhat rude but in a playful way. I do that with everyone, and nobody minds it.

you were annoying and now he doesn't like you 

[truthteller]

Quote

Princess of Pop       ♥  Camila Cabello  ♥

let that sink in

[KatyPrismSpirit]

5 minutes ago, Newt said:

You're not entitled to anything from him. Except a basic level of professional respect as a colleague. Stop looking for friends at work, unless it's a natural, mutual progression

 

Sounds to me like you need to just spend more energy on building a fulfilling life with people outside of the work place

this is true but reads so harsh ssjsjk 

[alexrex]

Many already advised you to let that guy alone since you had a crush on him as he's clearly not interested 

[Dialamba]

You're obsessed No wonder he doesn't **** with you 

[glitch]

He's just like me fr

 

[TaggedGalaxy]

seek help *****

[cuteboyzay]

Why are y'all dogging on the user?

At least he's trying to make a real friend at work with his time, while y'all spend it on chaturbate and Stan twitter! 
 

But alas, they're kinda right girl. Why tf do you care this much about a dumb b*tch who OBVIOUSLY doesn't deserve your energy. Like to a point you're bringing this all on yourself EVERYTIME you get dissapointed with his reaction towards you.

 

It sounds like you have a crush on him ngl, but he's not worth someone crushing over . He's obviously a weirdo and it sounds like your life would be better without looking for his validation or approval. F*ck him and go enjoy your LIFE!!!

[fememeist]

Between you and 

[badidearight]

imagine your coworker writing all of this about you…  (and multiple times too)

 

i'm sorry but i'd move to a different city

[tost1]

Did you try to switch desks with the colleague that sits next to him? The more he sees you, the harder it is to ignore you.

 

Also, you can start texting him good morning and good night texts, colleagues love that. After you do it for a few weeks he won't be able to ignore you anymore.

[Newt]

1 hour ago, KatyPrismSpirit said:

this is true but reads so harsh ssjsjk 

 

 it seems like OP has been going in circles for years over this guy. The reality check approach is well overdue

[Meev]

Does your online personality mirrors your ATRL personality? If so, being a troll doesn't really cut it in the real world.

[AshleyLovescats887]

50 minutes ago, tost1 said:

Did you try to switch desks with the colleague that sits next to him? The more he sees you, the harder it is to ignore you.

 

Also, you can start texting him good morning and good night texts, colleagues love that. After you do it for a few weeks he won't be able to ignore you anymore.

Omg yes! Don't forget to also write him letters and send flowers. Also maybe try to show up at their house too, it would totally strengthen your bond between one another.

[Dolce Vita]

It sounds like you're dealing with a difficult and complex situation, especially given the proximity and the power dynamics at play. Workplace relationships can be tricky, particularly when someone's behavior is inconsistent and difficult to interpret.

 

Let's break down a few aspects of this situation:

 

 1. The Rude Jokes:

 

- You mentioned that you used to make some jokes that were somewhat rude but intended playfully. While others may not mind, it's possible that this colleague took them more personally than you realized. Even if it was addressed before, he might still carry some resentment, which could explain his cold behaviour.
- Some people are more sensitive to comments, even if they seem harmless to others. It's important to reflect on whether those jokes may have created a lasting impact that he hasn't been able to move past.

 

2. Inconsistent Behavior:

- His behavior towards you seems to oscillate between being friendly and distant. This could be a sign that he is conflicted about how to interact with you, possibly due to lingering issues from the past or external factors you may not be aware of. It might also be related to his personality—some people are more moody or have a harder time being consistent in their interactions.

- It's also possible that he behaves differently in social settings versus the office environment. The friendly drink after work might have been a brief moment where he felt relaxed, but once back in the office, old habits or reservations returned.

 

3. His Influence and Power Dynamics:

 

- Given that he is influential and in a higher position, his behaviour towards you can significantly impact your work experience. The fact that he's well-liked by others but treats you differently can be isolating and frustrating. It's natural to feel hurt or confused when someone in such a position doesn't reciprocate efforts to mend the relationship.

- It's also important to acknowledge that you may not be able to control his actions, no matter how much you change your behaviour or try to reach out. The fact that you've made multiple attempts to repair the relationship shows you've put in the effort, but there's only so much you can do.

 

4. What to Do Moving Forward:

 

- Acceptance: It might be time to accept that this relationship may not change in the way you'd hoped. While this is frustrating, it might bring some peace of mind to stop expecting things to improve and focus on your own well-being instead.
- Professionalism: Continue to maintain professionalism. Ensure that your work is of high quality and that you communicate effectively when necessary. Keeping interactions focused on work could help reduce the emotional strain of his behavior.

- Focus on Other Relationships:

Instead of investing more energy into trying to mend this one relationship, consider focusing on building or strengthening other relationships at work. This could help create a more supportive environment around you.

-Setting Boundaries: If his behaviour continues to affect your work or well-being, it might be worth considering setting some boundaries. This could involve minimising unnecessary interactions and focusing on what's required to do your job well.
- Seek Support: If the situation becomes too difficult to handle on your own, consider talking to a therapist, trusted colleague, a mentor, or HR. 

It's understandable to feel frustrated and confused by his behavior. However, focusing on what you can control—your own actions and reactions—might help you regain some sense of stability in this situation.

[aesthetic bih]

Based on your description, I don't wanna be friends with a person like that. You dodge a bullet. Stop worrying about him. He sucks.

[AshleyLovescats887]

8 minutes ago, Dolce Vita said:

It sounds like you're dealing with a difficult and complex situation, especially given the proximity and the power dynamics at play. Workplace relationships can be tricky, particularly when someone's behavior is inconsistent and difficult to interpret.

 

Let's break down a few aspects of this situation:

 

 1. The Rude Jokes:

 

- You mentioned that you used to make some jokes that were somewhat rude but intended playfully. While others may not mind, it's possible that this colleague took them more personally than you realized. Even if it was addressed before, he might still carry some resentment, which could explain his cold behaviour.
- Some people are more sensitive to comments, even if they seem harmless to others. It's important to reflect on whether those jokes may have created a lasting impact that he hasn't been able to move past.

 

2. Inconsistent Behavior:

- His behavior towards you seems to oscillate between being friendly and distant. This could be a sign that he is conflicted about how to interact with you, possibly due to lingering issues from the past or external factors you may not be aware of. It might also be related to his personality—some people are more moody or have a harder time being consistent in their interactions.

- It's also possible that he behaves differently in social settings versus the office environment. The friendly drink after work might have been a brief moment where he felt relaxed, but once back in the office, old habits or reservations returned.

 

3. His Influence and Power Dynamics:

 

- Given that he is influential and in a higher position, his behaviour towards you can significantly impact your work experience. The fact that he's well-liked by others but treats you differently can be isolating and frustrating. It's natural to feel hurt or confused when someone in such a position doesn't reciprocate efforts to mend the relationship.

- It's also important to acknowledge that you may not be able to control his actions, no matter how much you change your behaviour or try to reach out. The fact that you've made multiple attempts to repair the relationship shows you've put in the effort, but there's only so much you can do.

 

4. What to Do Moving Forward:

 

- Acceptance: It might be time to accept that this relationship may not change in the way you'd hoped. While this is frustrating, it might bring some peace of mind to stop expecting things to improve and focus on your own well-being instead.
- Professionalism: Continue to maintain professionalism. Ensure that your work is of high quality and that you communicate effectively when necessary. Keeping interactions focused on work could help reduce the emotional strain of his behavior.

- Focus on Other Relationships:

Instead of investing more energy into trying to mend this one relationship, consider focusing on building or strengthening other relationships at work. This could help create a more supportive environment around you.

-Setting Boundaries: If his behaviour continues to affect your work or well-being, it might be worth considering setting some boundaries. This could involve minimising unnecessary interactions and focusing on what's required to do your job well.
- Seek Support: If the situation becomes too difficult to handle on your own, consider talking to a therapist, trusted colleague, a mentor, or HR. 

It's understandable to feel frustrated and confused by his behavior. However, focusing on what you can control—your own actions and reactions—might help you regain some sense of stability in this situation.

Omg not the Chat GPT response please

[Sad Beautiful Tragic]

2 hours ago, cuteboyzay said:

At least he's trying to make a real friend at work with his time, while y'all spend it on chaturbate and Stan twitter! 

A brat summer

 

[nostalgic]

Not this shite again

 

 

[Quiqui4eva]

 

 

[Happylittlepunk]

Not this story again! 

[Red Velvet]

You conveniently missed out the part where you've had a huge crush on him for years

 

I'm concerned for him at this point. 

[cuteboyzay]

1 hour ago, Sad Beautiful Tragic said:

 

A brat summer

 

SCREAMING BYE!!!! 

[Ewan Chaos]

You should try that thing you did before where you ignored him as much as possible and gave us all daily updates on your progress. Seemed fun for everyone involved!