Brooklyn Baby Posted September 2 Author Posted September 2 228. You Need to Calm Down 5.459 Comments pavi 9 - "Immaculate beat." Bussea 8 - "My job plays this all the time and it kinda gaslit me into liking it." blown away 8 - "It's a little cringe, but it does have a little charm also." wastedpotential 7.9 - "This is one of my more controversial opinions, but I actually think this is a really strong instrumental. Strip all the lyrics about haters and gay people and pop girl stan twitter competition away (and leave them in the past), and just focus on the instrumental, and it's a decent composition. Of course, for the purposes of this rate, we don't get that luxury, so I have to think about how I might be able to express my true thoughts about this song without coming off as wildly homophobic. I'll swerve all controversy and say that I AM Todrickphobic and am THRILLED beyond belief that that man is so far from her life. I'm personally convinced things with Scooter only got as bad as they did because Toddy was whispering in Her ear, but that's a conspiracy theory I'll save for another day. One point of criticism I think I can safely levy here is the absolute dearth of vocal layering or intricacy. Aside from the squawking 'oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!' moment (I hear it in Rita's voice), there's literally no harmonizing, or even reverb or double-tracking at all across the song. It sounds so bare and dry, and I think adding something in beneath the topline would've made this noticeably better." SLUTTVFTV 7.5 - "The T in LGBTQ stands of Taylor!! (/s)" Where are you now? 7.2 - "When this came out I successfully ignored all the criticism, politics, supposed 'agenda' and just enjoyed it for what it was." LoveInStereo 6.7 - "Her heart was in the right place with this 1 and any song on the Eras set has so many fond memories for me that I can't be unbiased. I could be a lot harsher on this 1 but I'm sure everybody else will be happy to take care of that for me." Lorenzo22 6.2 - "The vocal delivery saves this one from being a ME!ss." Starchild 5 - "Yay gays." Achilles. 3 - "A corporate PR statement that rhymes." 1989 2.9 - "This was a hate crime." Forever Winter 1 - "The gays did not ask for this to be released." Miles. 1 - "Ironic that her big pro LGBT anthem is... a crime against gay rights." NewStanner 0 - "Her worst single, which deserved all of the hate that ME! got." 227. Vigilante Sh*t 5.532 Comments Where are you now? 8.7 - "Surprised this isn't more of a favorite - thought this is a sound more people wanted her to explore. Reminds me of the bad guy in a video game I had a crush on." SLUTTVFTV 7.8 - "It's a bit cute, I like the rep vibes, a bit too short though." holyground13 7 - " I thought it was bad at first but in the right mood it pops off. "Draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man" indeed." Miles. 7 - "Again, this bad ***** anthem just doesn't hit hard enough. She needs to abandon Jack at least for this sort of track. This with production similar to You Should See Me In A Crown would've EATEN." wastedpotential 6.1 - "Hot on tour, but there's nothing else redeemable here. This song is incredibly, incredibly baffling to me. For one, why did She decide to make this? For two, why did She decide to release it publicly? I get that Jack played Her an instrumental She liked, and I can understand why She might be drawn to this instrumental, but I know that she could've done something better with this. Billie Eilish cosplay doesn't serve anyone. This song makes a mockery of Her songwriting abilities, it's insulting as a listener, and it's a bit crass. Again, I adore this on tour, but surely She could've come up with better, sexier lyrics than "draw the cat-eye sharp enough to kill a man". Babes... that's not a funny internet joke when WE use it, let alone when you do. This is just degrading for all of us. Passing score for the chairography." greento 5.5 - "Such a cool live performance, if only the song itself was a bit better." Achilles. 5 - "Has some fun gag-worthy one liners but not much staying power." Nein 5 - "Mid. Only elevated thanks to Eras Tour sequence." blown away 4.7 - "Rather cringe Billie cosplay. The production is nice though." Starchild 4 - "If only this was for the choreo at the eras tour would've been higher." NewStanner 3 - "Billie called, she wants her awful song back." By the Water 2 - "+1 for the Eras Tour performance." LoveInStereo 2 - "The lyrics are fun but the musical content here is severely lacking. It barely has notes. Purely exists to be performed on tour." Forever Winter 1 - "Cringe. Leave the Billie-ing to Billie. Only good thing about this song is the tour performance." 226. Suburban Legends 5.590 Comments AshleyLovescats887 11 - "this one is so underrated and i hate how it is the least streamed 1989 vault song" Lorenzo22 8.8 - "Why this hitting recently when it was dead last vault track on release?" 1989 7.8 - "Poor Subaru Lesbians, the forgotten 1989 Vault track." wastedpotential 6.7 - "I know people accuse The Lakes of being a song where Lord was just flipping through the thesaurus, but I fear this is where that criticism should be levied. SHE WAS JUST SAYING **** FOR THE SAKE OF IT, NONE OF THIS WORKS, LIKE AT ALL? THE WONKY SLIP N SLIDE LYRIC NEEDS TO GO! THE RANDOM DIGRESSIONS INTO STAR SIGNS AND THE FUCKASS CONSTRUCTION YEAR OF THE FUCKASS GYMNASIUM. LORD, I DO NOT CARE. The production is twinkly and okay, but seriously? This belongs in the vault of the vault. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish we owned this city, I wish we were partying like it was 1989, I WISH on Earth they'd still call us suburban legends. Alas, all they call this on Earth is bad." SLUTTVFTV 6.5 - "Why did this FLOP make it onto this perfect vault. The AI one clears. Heartbreak fitting right into the sky!!!!" Where are you now? 6.1 - "Always reminds me a little of illicit affairs with how the song is structured." blown away 3.4 - "Such a scam, this is clearly a Midnights reject." Achilles. 3 - "Unfortunately I can name several songwriters who would have come up with more impressive songs using this title and concept. Including Country!Taylor and Indie!Taylor." Forever Winter 2 - "The slightly less sh*tty version of "Mastermind." I can't stand it." Lazuli 0 - "This is not a song." 1
wastedpotential Posted September 2 Posted September 2 1 minute ago, Forever Winter said: 228. You Need to Calm Down 5.459 Comments pavi 9 - "Immaculate beat." Bussea 8 - "My job plays this all the time and it kinda gaslit me into liking it." blown away 8 - "It's a little cringe, but it does have a little charm also." wastedpotential 7.9 - "This is one of my more controversial opinions, but I actually think this is a really strong instrumental. Strip all the lyrics about haters and gay people and pop girl stan twitter competition away (and leave them in the past), and just focus on the instrumental, and it's a decent composition. Of course, for the purposes of this rate, we don't get that luxury, so I have to think about how I might be able to express my true thoughts about this song without coming off as wildly homophobic. I'll swerve all controversy and say that I AM Todrickphobic and am THRILLED beyond belief that that man is so far from her life. I'm personally convinced things with Scooter only got as bad as they did because Toddy was whispering in Her ear, but that's a conspiracy theory I'll save for another day. One point of criticism I think I can safely levy here is the absolute dearth of vocal layering or intricacy. Aside from the squawking 'oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!' moment (I hear it in Rita's voice), there's literally no harmonizing, or even reverb or double-tracking at all across the song. It sounds so bare and dry, and I think adding something in beneath the topline would've made this noticeably better." SLUTTVFTV 7.5 - "The T in LGBTQ stands of Taylor!! (/s)" Where are you now? 7.2 - "When this came out I successfully ignored all the criticism, politics, supposed 'agenda' and just enjoyed it for what it was." LoveInStereo 6.7 - "Her heart was in the right place with this 1 and any song on the Eras set has so many fond memories for me that I can't be unbiased. I could be a lot harsher on this 1 but I'm sure everybody else will be happy to take care of that for me." Lorenzo22 6.2 - "The vocal delivery saves this one from being a ME!ss." Starchild 5 - "Yay gays." Achilles. 3 - "A corporate PR statement that rhymes." 1989 2.9 - "This was a hate crime." Forever Winter 1 - "The gays did not ask for this to be released." Miles. 1 - "Ironic that her big pro LGBT anthem is... a crime against gay rights." NewStanner 0 - "Her worst single, which deserved all of the hate that ME! got." 227. Vigilante Sh*t 5.532 Comments Where are you now? 8.7 - "Surprised this isn't more of a favorite - thought this is a sound more people wanted her to explore. Reminds me of the bad guy in a video game I had a crush on." SLUTTVFTV 7.8 - "It's a bit cute, I like the rep vibes, a bit too short though." holyground13 7 - " I thought it was bad at first but in the right mood it pops off. "Draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man" indeed." Miles. 7 - "Again, this bad ***** anthem just doesn't hit hard enough. She needs to abandon Jack at least for this sort of track. This with production similar to You Should See Me In A Crown would've EATEN." wastedpotential 6.1 - "Hot on tour, but there's nothing else redeemable here. This song is incredibly, incredibly baffling to me. For one, why did She decide to make this? For two, why did She decide to release it publicly? I get that Jack played Her an instrumental She liked, and I can understand why She might be drawn to this instrumental, but I know that she could've done something better with this. Billie Eilish cosplay doesn't serve anyone. This song makes a mockery of Her songwriting abilities, it's insulting as a listener, and it's a bit crass. Again, I adore this on tour, but surely She could've come up with better, sexier lyrics than "draw the cat-eye sharp enough to kill a man". Babes... that's not a funny internet joke when WE use it, let alone when you do. This is just degrading for all of us. Passing score for the chairography." greento 5.5 - "Such a cool live performance, if only the song itself was a bit better." Achilles. 5 - "Has some fun gag-worthy one liners but not much staying power." Nein 5 - "Mid. Only elevated thanks to Eras Tour sequence." blown away 4.7 - "Rather cringe Billie cosplay. The production is nice though." Starchild 4 - "If only this was for the choreo at the eras tour would've been higher." NewStanner 3 - "Billie called, she wants her awful song back." By the Water 2 - "+1 for the Eras Tour performance." LoveInStereo 2 - "The lyrics are fun but the musical content here is severely lacking. It barely has notes. Purely exists to be performed on tour." Forever Winter 1 - "Cringe. Leave the Billie-ing to Billie. Only good thing about this song is the tour performance." 226. Suburban Legends 5.590 Comments AshleyLovescats887 11 - "this one is so underrated and i hate how it is the least streamed 1989 vault song" Lorenzo22 8.8 - "Why this hitting recently when it was dead last vault track on release?" 1989 7.8 - "Poor Subaru Lesbians, the forgotten 1989 Vault track." wastedpotential 6.7 - "I know people accuse The Lakes of being a song where Lord was just flipping through the thesaurus, but I fear this is where that criticism should be levied. SHE WAS JUST SAYING **** FOR THE SAKE OF IT, NONE OF THIS WORKS, LIKE AT ALL? THE WONKY SLIP N SLIDE LYRIC NEEDS TO GO! THE RANDOM DIGRESSIONS INTO STAR SIGNS AND THE FUCKASS CONSTRUCTION YEAR OF THE FUCKASS GYMNASIUM. LORD, I DO NOT CARE. The production is twinkly and okay, but seriously? This belongs in the vault of the vault. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish we owned this city, I wish we were partying like it was 1989, I WISH on Earth they'd still call us suburban legends. Alas, all they call this on Earth is bad." SLUTTVFTV 6.5 - "Why did this FLOP make it onto this perfect vault. The AI one clears. Heartbreak fitting right into the sky!!!!" Where are you now? 6.1 - "Always reminds me a little of illicit affairs with how the song is structured." blown away 3.4 - "Such a scam, this is clearly a Midnights reject." Achilles. 3 - "Unfortunately I can name several songwriters who would have come up with more impressive songs using this title and concept. Including Country!Taylor and Indie!Taylor." Forever Winter 2 - "The slightly less sh*tty version of "Mastermind." I can't stand it." Lazuli 0 - "This is not a song." Vile **** should've gone a long time ago, and Subcutaneous Lesions is about due for a punching, but YNTCD deserved better and is only here from residual chart resentment
AshleyLovescats887 Posted September 2 Posted September 2 I KNOW THAT YOU STILL REMEMBER, WE WERE BORN TO BE NATIONAL TREASURES
Kyle-x Posted September 2 Posted September 2 29 minutes ago, Forever Winter said: 232. Invisible 5.371 Comments 1989 9.4 - "Incredibly underrated. Great lyrics; I just know that the TV will finally get people discovering this gem." pinkbowvintage 7 - "I just know the TV will bump this one up because the Eras Tour live version is supreme." wastedpotential 5.8 - "I do not think about this song. I do not listen to it. This is quite possibly the only song in Taylor's entire discography (and on this list) that I couldn't sing for you word for word. I remember her dedicating it to a random homo at a random Rep tour date, but that's literally all that comes to mind. I can't believe this song has over 35 million streams on Spotify when it's so unmemorable it probably warrants like… 12. I guess TaylorMania was so strong last year that y'all were streaming anything you could get your hands on. I can safely say I was too busy enjoying evermore to listen to this drivel." By the Water 5.5 - "I hope this gets its due when the TV comes out. What a song." reputation1989 5 - "Fitting song title." Where are you now? 3.8 - "Really excited to hear the re-record. Lovely bridge." blown away 2.1 - "I like the verses, but that chorus is horrible. The vocals in particular..." Results Reveal hidden contents MusicLoverDude 7 Starchild 5 SLUTTVFTV 3 Tusk 10 AbeHicks 10 Kyle-x 10 Taylor fanboy 10 1989 9.4 PerfectSacrifice 9.4 StØned 9.3 folkloreking 9 Enrique523 9 Holy Ground 9 enchanted0 9 Mr. Duff 8.4 SylMacPer 8.3 greento 8.3 Tedwards 8.2 jacklovesyou1 8.1 llikeh 8 LastKiss 8 chosensparkles 8 AshleyLovescats887 8 Ger.vaz 8 fridayteenage 8 makeawish 8 BOAZ 8 Klein 8 Heldenzeit 8 chiliam 8 Velvet Night 7.9 idkwiam 7.7 Cruel Summer 7.5 PoisonedIvy 7.3 The Music Industry 7.2 Michael196 7.1 Bindi 7.1 pinkbowvintage 7 MidnightsAtPeace 7 Avrileon 7 a_d_22 7 Hurem 7 vinicius 7 Miles. 7 Supernatural 7 paulyyyozd 7 FolkLover1989 7 Bussea 7 SleepingTigers 7 My Tears Ricochet 7 greeneyedsoul 7 LoveInStereo 6.7 Forever Winter 6.5 skizzo 6.5 wastedpotential 6.2 terrorblade 6 DevilsRollTheDice 6 Live To Tell 6 sanzo 6 Soobin 6 Riverbank 6 Life Savers 6 @freakum. 6 badidearight 6 Gorjesspazze9 6 Axolotl 6 Yog 6 G.U.Y_Del_Rey 6 liam13 6 Losing my ground 6 burninredhot 6 ellis-bell 6 Hooker Barbie 6 twoheadlightshine 6 sparrowblue 6 Don 6 SoSickOfThatSOL 6 Achilles. 6 Edge of Glory 6 heckinglovato 6 KillingYourCareer 5.5 By the Water 5.5 roso 5.3 tjspy 5.1 PaloSanto 5 NordicGuy 5 Namigo 5 Arrows 5 Theluckyone 5 gagacasanova 5 reputation1989 5 halcyonday 5 Iamanearthling 5 Venice B 5 Fitzswiftie 5 Mezik 5 Mocha 5 TaylenaStan 5 Nein 5 RihannaLoverrr 5 Dear Reader 5 brokee 5 Clauss 5 Flames2Embers 5 Byzantium 5 yourfaveisaflop 5 Blood Magic 5 Rev8 5 K$Ellie 5 StonedSoulPicnic 5 wehavetostan 5 Safe&Sound 4.8 tb6591 4.5 Sad Beautiful Tragic 4.5 americanlife 4.5 modern thing 4.5 Catch22 4.5 holyground13 4.5 itsjem 4.1 TheArgonaut 4.1 NEX 4 jacobhalkohit 4 Ampersand13 4 djcalpal 4 creativity. 4 kyungsoowift 4 Swirl900 4 fab 4 pavi 4 Bartender 4 Bosque 4 Where are you now? 3.8 Peroxide 3.6 LVP 3.5 TMRA 3.4 D-@-N 3 ChapelHooker 3 frankvert 3 Great Username 3 Strawberry Bubble 3 Quicksand 3 Flower 3 Lazuli 3 NewStanner 3 NextBish90 2.5 Terylee 2.5 AdrianNicki 2.5 Ms. Togekiss 2.5 blown away 2.1 Solaria 2 4Real 2 Vespertine 2 Feanor 2 ONOPKA 2 Lorenzo22 2 beagle 1.6 Teen Spirit 1 CamiloPg_ 1 305 1 Prismee 1 Schami66 1 GuyNextDoor 1 LovaticSwiftie 1 Diarrhoea 1 Sanguine 1 Top Dash 0 WTF. I mean from The Moment I Knew this was going to tank but still as hymn
holyground13 Posted September 2 Posted September 2 BYE YNTCD! how on earth did it last that long??? Vigilante.... It's an acquired taste but that performance. It's a fun song. Should have broke the top 200 1
gagacasanova Posted September 2 Posted September 2 1 minute ago, Forever Winter said: 228. You Need to Calm Down 5.459 227. Vigilante Sh*t 5.532 YOU WHORES 1 1
PoisonedIvy Posted September 2 Posted September 2 (edited) The last 5 songs eliminated have been IMMACULATE choices, excellent work Swifties ESPECIALLY Subaru Lesbians. That's 3 of my 5 0's GONE! Also, 1989 & Midnights join the knockout list. 1. Loser 2. Red 3. Debut 4. TTPD 5. Fearless 6. reputation 7. Midnights 8. 1989 Speak Now, folklore, evermore remain with no tracks gone! Edited September 2 by PoisonedIvy 1
Miles. Posted September 2 Posted September 2 How bout you ******* flops listen to the ******* BRIDGE!? 2 2
Klein Posted September 2 Posted September 2 And with that poplor is GONE. Speak Now, folklore and evermore remain the only untouched girlies. 3
SLUTTVFTV Posted September 2 Posted September 2 Just now, Miles. said: How bout you ******* flops listen to the ******* BRIDGE!? wtf is this lyric video? did she record this for her dentist? 1
TaylenaStan Posted September 2 Posted September 2 Suburban Turds out This is NOT a 19Katy9 Vault track.. i repeat this is not a TRUE 19Katy9 Vault track, she just made it up
1989 Posted September 2 Posted September 2 I am MOURNING Invisible and Suburban Legends, but I am CELEBRATING London Boy leaving The duality of Swifties indeed
Cruel Summer Posted September 2 Posted September 2 Quote wastedpotential THE RANDOM DIGRESSIONS INTO STAR SIGNS AND THE FUCKASS CONSTRUCTION YEAR OF THE FUCKASS GYMNASIUM. LORD, I DO NOT CARE Screaming Multiple instances of Taylor harmonizing "I AM STANDING IN A 1950S GYMNASIUM" is literally my favorite line ever out of context because like Who says that 😭
Brooklyn Baby Posted September 2 Author Posted September 2 I'll do 5 more reveals, besties! I think that's a good place to stop for today I'll end on #221. That'll leave us with 220 to whatever tomorrow. 5 3
wastedpotential Posted September 2 Posted September 2 1 minute ago, Miles. said: How bout you ******* flops listen to the ******* BRIDGE!? This video ruined Taylor's Apple Music page
wastedpotential Posted September 2 Posted September 2 2 minutes ago, Klein said: And with that poplor is GONE. Speak Now, folklore and evermore remain the only untouched girlies. It's hardly fair to attack Sunburned Losers to the rest of Swift 19:89
Dear Reader Posted September 2 Posted September 2 1 minute ago, Forever Winter said: I'll do 5 more reveals, besties! I think that's a good place to stop for today I'll end on #221. That'll leave us with 220 to whatever tomorrow. Thank you 1
Cruel Summer Posted September 2 Posted September 2 The Subaru Lesbians bridge made some aggressively good points, though, let's admit that. 6
wastedpotential Posted September 2 Posted September 2 1 minute ago, Forever Winter said: I'll do 5 more reveals, besties! I think that's a good place to stop for today I'll end on #221. That'll leave us with 220 to whatever tomorrow. Thank you for persevering sis, this is ROUGH, but we will get through it together. Plus, I like the thought of still having 220 to go tomorrow, we can really draw this out and savor the process 1
AdrianNicki Posted September 2 Posted September 2 NOOooo not my first 11. Oh Vigilante God. Swifties don't deserve you!
Brooklyn Baby Posted September 2 Author Posted September 2 225. The Man 5.613 Comments AbeHicks 11 - "This was Taylor Swift as her most iconic. The power that that has....." reputation1989 9.5 - "Overhated." NewStanner 9 - Overhated..." Lorenzo22 8.1 - "Idc if it's a bit cringy, the melodies and production are great. it kinda has an underlying dark tone that makes me like it a lot more." Where are you now? 7.2 - "I hate that the single treatment in a way ruined my opinion of it, because it's still incredibly catchy and an important message." wastedpotential 7.1 - "Feminism.mp3! I certainly don't hate this like I once did (Eras revival, I think), but oh this is not well executed at allllllll. "If I was the man, I'd be the man" is something I'd expect to come from an elementary school playground, not a recording session with one of the most celebrated singer-songwriter lyricists of all time. Joel Little needed to... be the man and grow a pair to rein in several of Taylor's worst decisions during their studio sessions, and this song is a great example of where and why that needed to happen. I think my lowest moment as a Swiftie were the few weeks in Feb-Apr 2020, after the video came out and after this stalled on the radio, when it was consistently peaking in the top 95 on the Hot 100 for a few weeks in a row, before dropping off the face of the Earth. Lover era was shaky all around, but I've never felt less sure of Taylor's status as an A-lister and a hitmaker than I did in those moments. Instead of praying for it to go top 10 (like we'd done with Delicate 18 months before), or even top 40 (as we'd done with Out Of The Woods or whatever), we were praying for it to scrape onto the bottom of the chart, and that's shameful in retrospect. Oh, and speaking of the video, I love her girlboss director moment, but can we please shake things up in that department? There's no narrative for Taylor to be directing her videos ALL THE TIME, and while she's getting better at it for sure, I'd like to see some fresh eyes on her work. Nonetheless, I love the little office moment on tour though!" Bussea 7 - "It's so funny because my job plays the uncensored version and you'll hear Taylor screaming ***** and that's some random mom with her child looking around in disbelief. 😭😭😭" blown away 6.6 - "I thought it was a highlight when Lover first came out, but the more I listen to it the more dull it gets." KillingYourCareer 6 - "It's catchy, but it sounds so cheap! Back when it came out someone said it sounded straight out of a Lithuanian Eurovision song selection, and I can't unhear it." 1989 4.8 - "The acoustic version isn't that bad, but the album version is dated af." Miles. 4 - "I love what she's trying to do here but sadly it just doesn't work. She needs someone (not Jack) to help her write bad ***** anthems because they often come so close but fall just slightly short." Achilles. 4 - "If she was a man, she'd be an unbearable Sheeranesque flop." BOAZ 3 - "Never liked this mess but I don't feel like giving this less than 3." Starchild 3 - "The slightly less cringe foil to woMANS world, now that I compared I feel like I should higher this score simply out of respect." By the Water 2.5 - "Dated and kinda cringe but it goes off on tour." frankvert 0 - "Absolutely mind boggling that this abomination got the single treatment."
LoveInStereo Posted September 2 Posted September 2 Superman is sweating like a girl who's better known for the things that she does on the mattress in church. Idk how she's still here tbh! 1 1
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