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Bf still on Grindr after 10 months


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Posted
3 minutes ago, tost1 said:

I absolutely NEVER know what to expect from your posts :psyduck:

Yeah. I mean that was my life, waiting till Midnight, Friday for a new video.

Then the videos stopped comming but new Music Friday became a thing and i had something different to look forward to on Fridays.

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  • Oktober Knight

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Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, Cain said:

What

I like to think well, i like to think they listen to music the same way i do. Sure, right now it's only working with Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter, but there was a point in time in 2023 where i would check out a new release almost every week to see how my love life was going.

Cuz like, associating your past romantic affairs with immortal pieces of art just seems right.

Edited by selena_lavigne
Posted

Absolutely not chile

Posted

Is this the third guy in your relationship? 
 

If so, I got news for you :suburban: he's a guy that is attracted to couples and enjoys polygamy. He isn't going to be "faithful" or closed off just to you two. The quicker you accept that, the faster you can resolve the situation 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Posted

I'm sorry but what kind of rules are those? :ahh:
 

Sounds like you guys are not a good match.

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Posted

I am no expert at relationships but what is your gut telling you to do? You are addressing your concerns about red flags in your relationship and communicated to him your feelings but it doesn't seem that there was any resolve.

Posted

I would imagine that anyone coming in as the "addition" to a 9 year marriage may feel like a third wheel. Maybe he thinks he's just adding spice to your marriage so he's seeking alternatives because he doesn't see it being long-term for him and has his own needs. 
 

Also, it sounds like your husband has less emotional connection to your boyfriend than you do. Is your boyfriend younger than you and your husband? I feel like maybe the boyfriend is not sold on this being his future but doesn't want to say - so his options are being kept open on Grindr, Hornet, Sniffies, Scruff, Tinder, Adam4Adam, Bumble, and Jack'd.

  • Like 4
Posted
2 hours ago, Oktober Knight said:

My bf and I have been together for 10 months and and have had a closed relationship since December. We decided to be closed after he hooked up with a couple of guys during our dating phase as he assumed we would be open; he understood my disapproval but insisted he could still use the apps to flirt or connect with others for friendships (I don't mind flirting or nude exchanges). 

 

this is a red flag already. just drop him,  he's clearly untrustworthy. you don't want to deal with the stress of having someone you have to question whether everything they do is a lie or the truth.

Posted

All I'm seeing here is me, me, me. How does your husband, who you swore vows to, feel? That's more important than some stray dog you're chasing after. Priorities.

  • Like 4
Posted

Well...

 

 

Posted

I don't know, man. I think your BF of 10 months just doesn't care about being in a long-term relationship with you

 

Maybe you should be more focused on your husband of 10 years from now on idk :skull:

  • Haha 4
Posted

people have a husband AND a boyfriend while i'm spending my time dickless. i feel so insecure. damn!

VerdantHue

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  • Haha 11
Posted

Not this backfiring, maybe there was a reason the husband was never mentioned in the first post

 

:suburban:

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Posted (edited)

This thread is ******* hoot :bibliahh:

Edited by abelfenty
Posted

Boyfriend? Aren't you married?

 

security!!

  • Haha 8
Posted

I definitely couldn't accept that from a boyfriend, especially if we are in a serious relationship, but from reading the first page of the thread I gather your relationship is a little alternative in format. From what I've observed from others, open relationships only ever work if both people are on the same page and if this makes you uncomfortable and he is unwilling to stop doing it I don't really see how it will work in the long term as both of you are unlikely to change how you feel. Best wishes to you though, and I hope it works out for the best whatever that may be.

Posted (edited)

Oh hell nah. Please leave the relationship.  I promise that you deserve better.

 

edit: Just got the full context lmao ...... pretty pathetic situation 

Edited by ks_dollar
  • Haha 1
Posted

Someone archive this thread, this is one for the books

:suburban: 

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Posted

If you have a husband and BOTH have this bf, why would you want this third wheel to be only devoted to you guys anyway? Seems wrong to the third party to me, but if you're annoyed dump him I guess.. I don't know how easy it would be to find someone willing to be in the kind of relationship you are describing.

Posted
2 hours ago, Badgalbriel said:

Grindr is a hook up app. It's not an app to make friends. You don't use grindr if you're not looking to get dick. This guy is gaslighting you. 

More often it's used to exchange pics rather than actually setting up in-person meets. A lot of people just use it as porn essentially.

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Posted

But wait, if you decide to dump him and your husband doesn't how would that look like?

Posted
32 minutes ago, nostalgic said:

All I'm seeing here is me, me, me. How does your husband, who you swore vows to, feel? That's more important than some stray dog you're chasing after. Priorities.

It was my hubby's recommendation about forming a throuple with him sis. He's just not very emotionally attached as you can see he clearly doesn't GAF what he does. It was also my hubby's idea to be open 2 years ago. So yeah... 

 

15 minutes ago, nasa said:

Not this backfiring, maybe there was a reason the husband was never mentioned in the first post

 

:suburban:

Exactly, ATRL didn't understand the whole throuple situation to begin with so I tired to leave it out this time. But ah well 

  • Thumbs Down 1
Posted

I always thought you were in a long term relationship?!?

 

Anyway you don't deserve this leave him 

Posted
1 minute ago, tost1 said:

But wait, if you decide to dump him and your husband doesn't how would that look like?

Nothing would change between my husband and I, we'd be back to where we were 10 months ago 

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