tost1 Posted July 18 Posted July 18 This (+ the spin offs) is definitely my favourite ATRL thread ever. @Oktober Knightyou can at least find comfort in the fact that your pain brought us so much joy 1
Oktober Knight Posted July 18 Author Posted July 18 5 hours ago, tost1 said: This (+ the spin offs) is definitely my favourite ATRL thread ever. @Oktober Knightyou can at least find comfort in the fact that your pain brought us so much joy That's what's ironic about this. I was in such a worried mood and the way y'all flipped it really made my week! I had several good laughs at the responses and the parody threads
Disconnect Posted July 18 Posted July 18 On 7/15/2024 at 12:02 PM, wehavetostan said: Breakup This or open the relationship. But I don't think that will be healthy for you because you expect him to be faithful.
Funnyfatty Posted July 19 Posted July 19 On 7/16/2024 at 1:14 AM, Oktober Knight said: This is exactly what I told him that he's having a hard time letting go of a habit he's had for 10 years. He's definitely on the apps a lot less but he's on there every chance he gets when he's alone (usually his lunch break or when we're out in public in a new area). I did mention that when he moves in within the next year that we should all delete our apps but he didn't give me a firm answer, he said but how will be ever find other gay friends? Like no... We can find friends anywhere, not guys on Grindr who claim to only want friendships but then try to fk you the second we meet. Why does he need gay friends so much? He has you? i dont want to sound aggressive but this story kind of stinks. Slap the sht out of him. A grown man can ABSOLUTELY delete a stupid app and never go back.
Kimi Posted July 19 Posted July 19 he's NOT settling down with yall and will cheat or leave. probably both. he is a third wheel in this 9 years long marriage and the way you're unwilling to address that even tho it was mentioned so much in here is very telling. he has to be immature himself but that makes my case even stronger. messy messy messy.
CottageHore Posted July 19 Posted July 19 It sounds like y'all are both thinking this relationship is polyamorous but you both have different ideas of what that is and the boundaries and rules that exist within that open relationship. You being ok with nude exchanges and all that is technically an open mentality. So you and your partner need to have a concise conversation about how you both want the relationship to be, what's acceptable and what isn't when interacting with others outside the relationship in sexual ways. You're not overreacting but you need to speak up and be very clear about what you expect and need otherwise leave him.
Newt Posted July 19 Posted July 19 There's only two questions that matter. What is he to you? what are you expecting from him? Sit down and contemplate that for both of your partners. Then put yourself in their shoes and imagine what they think of you. Is this all compatible? If not, have an honest conversation about these thoughts with them You'll receive the invoice within 3-5 business days
Iceland Posted July 20 Posted July 20 it's your fault at this point But I don't blame you; I've been there, done that, and you will realize it on your own. No advice will help you until you decide to do it.
Hitchhiker Posted July 20 Posted July 20 He does not respect you and you are both searching for different things, breakup.
Gangbaby Posted July 21 Posted July 21 This sounds more like a situation ship than a relationship…if you feel uncomfortable with it then it's not for you…trust me I've been there…the problem will always come back to you but you're not doing anything wrong…it's his problem that he can't feel strong enough to leave his old habits while being with you…you are 100% feeling as you should…this whole thing sounds to me very problematic from his way of thinking and you're just pushing your self to accept his demands just because you've got feeling for him…any "you re being extra with it" is canceled because this is so toxic and he's really avoiding your conception of why you have and what really is a relationship 1
Gangbaby Posted July 21 Posted July 21 On 7/15/2024 at 9:27 PM, Oktober Knight said: WE have a bf, it's not like I have a relationship with him separately, we're all in this together. Awwww you're definitely don't have the right to except him not speaking with others then, you have a boyfriend already….messss
l3disko Posted July 21 Posted July 21 I'm an atheist, but threads like this make me think turning away from God isn't such a good idea
smartalek22 Posted July 21 Posted July 21 4 hours ago, l3disko said: I'm an atheist, but threads like this make me think turning away from God isn't such a good idea The bible may have a lot of flaws, but it has a lot of hard truths too
brazil Posted July 22 Posted July 22 So what are the news with the trouple? Are things going well. You can't just leave is in the dark about the good drama 1
Oktober Knight Posted July 22 Author Posted July 22 It's been almost a week since our talk. We had a long conversation about expectations and boundaries and our agreement was a success. He understood my concern about Snap Chat and even showed me he doesn't have any other guys on there. At first I was going to ask him to block the one dude he was talking to last week but I decided to leave that to him. He told the dude no more nudes or vids and it sounds like the guy complied. The guy stopped sending messages all together days ago so it looks like he disappeared anyway. As for Grindr and Scruff, he agreed that he was on those apps too much and assured me he will not be browsing on there when we're together. He still wants freedom to log on here and there when we're apart (we're not apart from each other much) and will be more open about who he's chatting with. The conversations he showed me that he recently had were harmless and PG rated. I definitely trust him a lot more. Now he has a clear understanding of what I dislike and understood why I reeled the slack in a bit. 1
lander Posted July 26 Posted July 26 Saw this thread when it got posted first but didn't care to open it until i saw some replies in other threads
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