Bussea Posted June 5 Posted June 5 11 minutes ago, Raphy23 said: What!? I'm happily in a 5 year monogamous relationship with my partner. We've lived together for many years and I've never had the need to use grindr or any dating apps. So yea NOT "all gays". gay 3
Reginald Posted June 5 Posted June 5 I know closeted men who married women, and feel bad for them. They have to live with the burden of a double life, keeping secrets, cheating on their wives, and lying to their kids. It sounds like a miserable existence tbh. And the real kicker is that they're scrolling through Grindr just like the "old" gay men you mentioned, except they can't show their faces or pursue anything deeper than a hookup. 3 1
Damien M Posted June 5 Posted June 5 (edited) If you're going to marry her then you owe it to her to be upfront about the fact that you're gay (and it is purely an arrangement). if she's ok with that then good for you. If she isn't then you may have to find a lesbian who's in the same position as you are. Edited June 5 by Damien M 6
Redstreak Posted June 5 Posted June 5 ? I literally have a partner, a kid, and a house in the burbs where my family visit. Why does being gay supposedly confine you to a life of loneliness? 12
Mariya Takeuchi Posted June 5 Posted June 5 14 minutes ago, Dad said: men are not meant to be monogamous we are animals you're a psycho I feel sorry for your future wife, i see a similar fate for her https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-26937466.amp 1 1
Dad Posted June 5 Author Posted June 5 4 minutes ago, Damien M said: If you're going to marry her then you owe it to her to be upfront about the fact that you're gay (and it is purely an arrangement). if she's ok with that then good for you. If she isn't then you may have to find a lesbian who's in the same position as you are. yep i think this is the best way 2
ICLDXU4HS Posted June 5 Posted June 5 If it's arranged and both parties are okay with that, why not. There are plenty of marriages like that between heterosexual men and heterosexual women where neither partner ever actually ever falls in love with the other one, but they're still partnerships that work and fulfill them for plenty of other reasons outside of romance. 1
JO1s Posted June 5 Posted June 5 Girl the amount of self hate you're projecting onto people who are happily out and living their best life is sad. Hope you get out of whatever oppressive country you're in rn. 2
Badgalbriel Posted June 5 Posted June 5 Girl!? Who t f said gays are lonely people? I'm happily married for 5 years already. 3 1
Romova99 Posted June 5 Posted June 5 At this point I'm not sure if you came here looking for an honest advice or if you just wanted to come talk **** about the gay community but whatever, it seems like you have in mind what you want to do or what you think it's going to be the best for you so do it, if you're 100% sure you can keep a life like that then go ahead sis, just don't hurt your partner and your family hiding a secret you could've easily avoided. And also, living growing alone and being alone and single is perfectly fine, who said people need to have a partner for life? you can be alone and have a perfect and happy life I think, if you don't want that for you it's fine but you don't have any right to judge those who don't. Listen to the lyrics of this iconic #1 hit single by George Michael, hope you won't have to identify with this in the future. 1
Johnny Jacobs Posted June 5 Posted June 5 I am trying hard not to judge. Oh well I'm gonna. But i will try to keep it cute. There is no reason you would ruin a girls life and rob her of having a real life and real love because you are that selfish. That's vile to say the least. 2 1
ImpressMeMuch Posted June 5 Posted June 5 21 minutes ago, family.guy123 said: As long as there is open communication, do what makes you happy. Marriage is whatever you make of it. I mean it doesn't seem there is in this case if the partner is unaware of what she's signing up for. 28 minutes ago, Dad said: Am i wrong though? Gay couples are rarely built to last, men are not meant to be monogamous we are animals, sooner or later one of them will cheat. Nowadays being open and gay just means a life of cheap hookups and dying alone with no family Hey I'm guessing you have this perspective due to your own life experiences and frustrations, but that's not at all the ultimate truth. Please don't state it as fact. 5
Dad Posted June 5 Author Posted June 5 2 minutes ago, Johnny Jacobs said: I am trying hard not to judge. Oh well I'm gonna. But i will try to keep it cute. There is no reason you would ruin a girls life and rob her of having a real life and real love because you are that selfish. That's vile to say the least. If she knows that i also like guys and is okay with it i think it would make it a lot better, i wouldn't lie to her about it. My culture is very different, all the men in my family are happily married and still have secret girlfriends They are still good fathers and good men, look after their family, but also have their bit on the side. I think marriage is more of a duty you do for your family wheras what you do in your private time no one asks 2
cuteboyzay Posted June 5 Posted June 5 35 minutes ago, Dad said: I am happy. I don't feel the need to be out and proud like most gay people, i don't think that life is for me. I hook up with guys every now and again but i can't see myself being in a relationship with one, it seems like all you have to gain by being gay is a life being lonely and hooking up with random guys constantly. That's exactly what you're doing…
KatyPrismSpirit Posted June 5 Posted June 5 (edited) how selfish is that sorry but marrying a woman knowing that you are gay is such a massive injustice to that woman. you are wasting her time and life because YOU are insecure. Sorry but i cant have empathy for this type of thought. it's rooted in narcissism and thinking life revolves around how the world perceives you xxx Edited June 5 by KatyPrismSpirit 3
ImpressMeMuch Posted June 5 Posted June 5 1 minute ago, Dad said: If she knows that i also like guys and is okay with it i think it would make it a lot better, i wouldn't lie to her about it. My culture is very different, all the men in my family are happily married and still have secret girlfriends They are still good fathers and good men, look after their family, but also have their bit on the side. I think marriage is more of a duty you do for your family wheras what you do in your private time no one asks I'm sorry, why did you just say 'Gay couples are rarely built to last" if every straight relationship in your life is a fallacy??? The classic double standard at play. When gay people do it, it's because we are a mistake. When straight people do it, it's just part of life. JFC. 2 1
Johnny Jacobs Posted June 5 Posted June 5 Just now, Dad said: If she knows that i also like guys and is okay with it i think it would make it a lot better, i wouldn't lie to her about it. My culture is very different, all the men in my family are happily married and still have secret girlfriends They are still good fathers and good men, look after their family, but also have their bit on the side. I think marriage is more of a duty you do for your family wheras what you do in your private time no one asks I will not judge or try to understand that culture. It's not my job. I guess that if she knows and agrees that's on her. I still think it's wrong and trust me i come from a very conservative family and i never thought about doing something like you suggest. It's your decision at the end of the day but i gave my two cents
Dad Posted June 5 Author Posted June 5 1 minute ago, cuteboyzay said: That's exactly what you're doing… Mess you dragged me a bit there. I agree but i will still have my family and be able to create my own family with a wife that understands. I don't feel like i will be missing out on much not being open with my sexuality
ImpressMeMuch Posted June 5 Posted June 5 Find a man who does drag and will perform around your family, problem solved
UnusualBoy Posted June 5 Posted June 5 Sounds like hell but it's your life so if that's how you wanna live it, best of luck
Dad Posted June 5 Author Posted June 5 1 minute ago, ImpressMeMuch said: Find a man who does drag and will perform around your family, problem solved Now why would i want a drag queen performing dance numbers in front of my family How would that help the situation
cuteboyzay Posted June 5 Posted June 5 (edited) The more I'm reading this thread the more I'm noticing you have a very warped/NO real-life representation of what a "healthy" life in the Gay Community looks like. A lot of Men that think like that are the same times the very ones that end up complaining nonstop why the Gay Community is so "Toxic". My honest question is, why is it that the same Men that have such a twisted perception of the Gay Community end up resorting to heteronormativity? Even though HETERONORMATIVITY is EXACTLY the reason why they are in the position there in right now. Why go back or stay stuck with the same group that has forced you to stay in the closet all these years???? Move, go find somewhere else to live. Go find a better representation of the Gay Community outside of Grindr/hooking up. The longer you stay in this position the harder it's gonna be for you. And the truth WILL come out. It always does being in the closet. I want to root for you as much as I can, but it's hard when you speak like that about the Gay Community, knowing the only reason why you think this way is truly just because of your circumstance, and not because you have an actual healthy queer community/foundation around you. Please don't marry this woman, and let her find someone that wants to be with her because they love her. She deserves that. And YOU deserve to live a happy queer life and to be with a Man that loves you. Edited June 5 by cuteboyzay 3
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