base talk Ava Max blocked me, her biggest fan... I-I'm scared of what I might do.

April 18

Hi ATRL. I hope you guys are doing well.

Me? No. I'm not doing well. HAHAHAHA. In fact, I'm doing really terribly after logging on to Twitter and finding that I have been blocked by the artist I have stanned the most for the past 6 years.

That's right. Ava Max.

As many of you know, I am one of the members of ATRL who Ava Max owes her entire career too. I was there at the birth of Lady Gaga's lost daughter and pop descendant when Sweet But Psycho was first released. I was there when she followed it up with the terrible single choice of So Am I and I gave her deserved lashings. Despite her turbulent career, I have been praising her despite her multiple wrong moves and radio silence as soon as she drops a new song. I would create endless threads of 'Ava Max STUNS in new selfie' and accept the warning points that came with capitalizing the word 'STUNS'. I said her vocals were good enough to rival Mariah Carey when she was slipping across those notes like it was a wet blowjob. I said her outfits were next level when it was a pair of cargo trousers and a black crop top. I said she looked resplendent every time she posted another TikTok with the same snippet of her song.

Lately, I have been losing it with Ms. Max and her complete ungratefulness and lack of care for her career. So many people would kill to be in the position she is in, but her? She doesn't care. And that's the reality of stanning Ms. Max. She is lazy and uninspired, writes <5% of her songs and relied solely on Cirkut and Madison Love to give her the few hits she has. Now that she's not riding his dick anymore, she's even more lifeless and drained of personality than before.

With the release of My Oh My, of course, I stanned, but it quickly became clear that she is even worse than I could have ever thought. There has been zero promo on her part, other than performing in the corner of a living room for her father. Her vocals were ****, her outfit was ****. She wasn't even performing on a stage. Just a ******* carpet. I even went as far as buying her song on iTunes, and I am only 24, so this is not what my generation was born to do (shoutout to the older ATRLers who still do this. I will save my $1.29 next time and buy you all some minoxidil and ozempic). I funded her recent trip to Coachella because I bought 6 copies of her album Diamonds & Dancefloors. I have played an instrumental part in giving her the lifestyle she lives and plasters across Instagram with the same 'live laugh love' caption and doodoo-colored-pouting-lip selfie.

After reaching the end of my tether, she dropped the most abysmal music video which turned me into a disillusioned soul who is still haunted by the shattered dreams of what could have been. Disappointment still echoes around my body because the tragedy she released is a sick and disgusting excuse for a 'music video'. It was a cruel mockery or artistic ambition and it was shackled by the chains of a poultry budget. They have her a Fiat 500 sponsorship and 30 minutes to learn choreography. Gone were the grandeur and opulence that I had envisioned, replaced instead by a barren wasteland of cheap props and lackluster set designs where the same warehouse was used in every shot. It was as if the very essence of creativity had been stripped bare, leaving behind a hollow shell of mediocrity.

I was devastated, and in this whirlwind of emotion, I lashed out at Ava on Twitter under a tweet made by an update account. This tweet read:

And this is what drove Ava to block me. One moment of madness caused by her spiral into Z-listdom. I can't take it anymore. My entire brand has been Ava Max since 2018 and now that she has blocked me, there's nothing left. Who am I going to ironically stan now? Nobody scratches my brain in the same way that Ava Max's songs do. I have almost 5,000 plays of her on my last.fm and her peers aren't even close. I never thought it would come to this. The sting of rejection burns like a branding iron on my soul. Ava Max has been my beacon of inspiration, my muse in the tempest of life and she has ruthlessly cast me aside like yesterday's news. Blocked. Shut out from her world with a click of a button, as if I never mattered.

I poured my heart into every tweet and post for 5 years, every message of admiration and support, believing that my words would find their way to her. But one moment of weakness and that's it. I'm done. I'm gone in her eyes. Erased. Dead. I'm left adrift in a sea of uncertainty, grappling with the harsh reality that my connection to her has been severed.

So, ATRL, I ask you this. What do I do now? Where do I turn for solace when the very source of my passion has turned its back on me? The void left by her absence echoes with unanswered questions, tormenting me with doubts and regrets. I think I'm going to do something terrible and end up on the national news. I think I might end it all right now and say goodbye to the world as I know it. Because how can I live knowing that Ava Max will never see me reply an Oprah.gif to every tweet she makes? How will she ever know that another white blonde gay thinks she is worthy of mother status?

I search for answers in the depths of my despair, clinging to memories of shared moments and fleeting glimpses of acknowledgment. But the silence from her end is deafening, suffocating me with its indifference... I don't think I can do this anymore.

Please help me ATRL. There's no heaven, just hell. There's no diamonds or dancefloors anymore. I just feel like a misfit.

P.S. Ava Max... I know you're reading this Ava Max. Everything will happen to you Ava Max. EVERYTHING. Are you ready Ava Max?