Specter Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 So. Self-explanatory title. When you reflect on your life and see the unique ways (this may or may not be the case for you) in which life has screwed you over — mental health, debilitating losses, crippling body/self-loathing, etc., and you see how, for whatever arbitrary reason, this is not the case for a lot of people in your circle who — without realizing it — have been blessed by not having to go through what you've gone (at least to the capacity you know)...how do you not become a misanthropic, jaded, people-hating person? And is it bad — or rather, are you a bad person — for resenting people for having access to time that you, again, arbitrarily lost? You don't wish suffering upon people, but you resent your own when stacked up against others. How do you not become borderline vengeful and people-averse? Discuss from whatever angle applies to you — be it coming out (presumably) in a homophobic, conservative society and having to endure a whole roster of needless pain and suffering because of that (as compared to people who were raised in liberal and accepting societies who live with a carefree attitude you could simply never adopt), or otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suburbannature Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 1. don't participate in stan culture 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HASHTAGPOW Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 1. I found God 3 2 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popmusicisdead Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 1. accept our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ into your heart 2. drugs 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingWitch Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 8 minutes ago, popmusicisdead said: 1. accept our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ into your heart 2. drugs Agreed. I could've been out there hating on everyone for my misfortunes if it wasn't for the glass of wine I have almost everyday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klein Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 I've had a bad period of time when I was very envious, very jealous... just generally very angry at people for not having the same things as them. For me, what worked was gratitude. Basically, I made the very concious choice of focusing more on what I was lucky to have instead of what I was angry to not have, and that helped me so much. 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Specter Posted March 27 Author Share Posted March 27 Thanks for the thoughtful responses guys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoisonedIvy Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 (edited) I've been through a lot but my struggles are no more or less painful than anothers. I've been physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually scarred. I've been shot, blinded in one eye, betrayed romantically, disowned by family, so many different things over the course of my life. All that does is make me want to live more, and connect with others. You are a living, breathing, walking proof that resilience is real. You are a warrior, and you have rebounded from tribulations that others may never know. Don't be angry at others for not having to experience what you have, be grateful that you are still here in spite of all of that. And then use that to appreciate every day you are given and forge stronger, deeper, and more meaningful connections with others. You'll find that you're not as jaded, broken, and isolated as you may believe. Edited March 27 by PoisonedIvy 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthinos Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 I hate how ignorant, hateful and stupid people can become in groups. But I believe that every person as an individual is good or can be good. Everyone has goodness within them. I feel sorry for fascists and hateful people. Life is so much better without hate. I don't have a perfect life myself, but I am grateful to the universe and our earth that I can be here. I also don't believe that death is the end and whatever happens in the end, I believe it will be a happy ending. This belief and nature give me strength. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABeyBraith Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 Therapy. And not in a shady way, I genuinely mean it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imabadkid Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 Therapy. Also having faith and trusting that everything truly does happen for a reason even the things we don't necessarily understand or get. it sounds so cliche but the biggest thing I've learned is life is what u make it. I also noticed reading, listening to podcasts and leaning into things that will help my brain take in positivity and curate different ways of thinking also helped a ton. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suilen Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 Well, while a great deal of my frustration, disappointment and ennui comes from where I live, I don't necessarily feel bitter towards people from more fortunate countries as I've come to possess certain experiences and perspectives that allow me to approach things in a more nuanced way and empathize with just about anybody. Maybe I would've had them under better circumstances, too, nullifying whatever excuses I have now, it's hard to say. I feel like a version of me brought up in some European country would be a different person, and not always in a good way. A big part of my creative fuel and political curiosity steams from my government's poor treatment of its citizens and queer people in particularly, and without that I'm not sure what I'd even be. Then you have people from those liberal states who feel as miserable as you despite the seemingly superior conditions, and you realize that it's all very complicated. I do feel occasional resentment and jealousy when someone I know finds a SO because that would be very difficult to achieve in my situation, but I have to put those feelings aside and be a good friend. That said, I still consider myself misanthropish, maybe not to individuals but towards humanity in general because the state of the world greatly upsets me, and who's responsible for that? Keeping myself distracted helps with not dwelling too much on that, I suppose. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mordecai Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 Just focus on yourself and living your best life. I've been marching to the beat of my own drum ever since Covid and honestly I'm too busy focusing on or enjoying my own life to worry about others. It leaves me feeling a bit disconnected at times so I need to keep that in check sometimes but honestly at this point I don't really care about what people think about me, and for the most part what I think about others too 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starfish Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 Staying away from this hellscape helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kayseri Mantisi Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 47 minutes ago, popmusicisdead said: accept our Lord e Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cain Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 34 minutes ago, ABeyBraith said: Therapy. And not in a shady way, I genuinely mean it. This! but also, we envy in people what we wish we had, or that which we are suppressing it's never too late to go after the things we want, if you resent people for having had time in their life that you haven't, try to make up for that time The only solution is to start living closer to your authentic values, what do you genuinely want out of life? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dialamba Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 (edited) I don't really care about people's live. I'm not a resentful and jealous person generally. It's important to focus on yourself first, and to be patient you can't expect to be rich, have a job, travel, healthy etc at 20 or whatever. Life isn't easy but if you want something you'll get it one day. Edited March 27 by Dialamba Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pillz Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 My Xanax prescription really helps me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pendulum Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 No, embrace your anthropocentrism Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeAg Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 1. mothaf*cka it's true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CampfireSmoke Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 On a maybe more short-term note, exercise. My exercise of choice is running. This has helped me feel like I could control something when other things that I was resentful towards were out of my control. It's life affirming not only because endorphins are naturally produced that way but also because it teaches you that you can overcome the hard things in your life. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeAg Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 wait okay lemme answer seriously though I like to think about how we spend our energy, how we spend it throughout the day. the way I see it, we can choose to channel that energy into creative endeavors or we can just be shady and b*tchy the way we're wont to be. it's funny, I was actually discussing this with my therapist earlier today (he's also queer), like how straight men are kinda brought into bottling up emotions (unhealthy and toxic as all f*ck) and a lot of women and queer people are raised up with passive-aggression as a coping mechanism. bitterness is a natural emotion, and if you feel it creeping in there's simply nothing wrong with you! but it's about what you let it do, what you give it the power to do. I know I sound like I'm about to be on my hippie bullsh*t lol but bear with me! I love writing music and singing, and I love working out, and I also love going on SUPER long nightwalks. I'm also wont to going on rants on my instagram private story about my ex-boyfriend, but thankfully the archive feature exists. what you need to work on at first is preventing the bitterness from consuming you. shade your ex boyfriend, but do it to your inner circle or your singular best friend. my health teacher in ninth grade once randomly went on a tangent and exclaimed to all of us that "jealousy is a wasted emotion." that sh*t stuck with me. we as humans are inherently imperfect. we forget. we compare ourselves. we compare each other. but that doesn't define us, as long as we don't let it. sometimes you just have to tell yourself: "be grounded." you don't need a million friends, you need a few confidantes and that can help you find external love. the internal love, though, can come with faking it til you make it. tell yourself you're getting better, like actually do it, and then start getting better. you got this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tost1 Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 Play Solar Power on a daily basis, it worked for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popmusicisdead Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 3 hours ago, Kayseri Mantisi said: e 3. accept that Solar Power is a sh*t album 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Into The Void Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 3 hours ago, Starfish said: Staying away from this hellscape helps. True I took a break from here a while ago and my mental health improved Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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