discussion MAJOR UPDATE LAST PAGE! Should I talk to my hot work colleague who lowkey hates me?

[TaggedGalaxy]

OP getting ha wig tugged and snatched all through this thread

 

 

Girl he knows you're a baguette that wants to suck on his pp and he's uncomfortable, leave him alone and find some dick that's not his

[prézli]

21 hours ago, Hot Volcano said:

He just doesn't care outside of his own team.

Oh, good for that team. Even my manager doesn't care about his own team.

[Hot Volcano]

33 minutes ago, prézli said:

Oh, good for that team. Even my manager doesn't care about his own team.

All of my co-workers are praising him all the time, I dont even have anyone to complain to other than the guy from my team

 

 

[Into The Void]

5 hours ago, Hot Volcano said:

I'm from Eastern Europe

 

 

We are not on the same team. 

Oh well forget him then

[Into The Void]

34 minutes ago, Hot Volcano said:

All of my co-workers are praising him all the time, I dont even have anyone to complain to other than the guy from my team

 

 

I had a boss who had favorites and it was obvious he did not like me but I did not let it affect my work duties or bother me.  I was cool with the rest of my team anyway so I didn't care.

 

My advice is he's just a guy who cares if he's hot. He's str8 anyway. There's plenty of other hot guys u can be friends with lol.

Edited March 24 by Into The Void

[Phaunzie]

On 3/23/2024 at 11:54 AM, Hot Volcano said:

I created a few threads about my issues with this guy before

Umm, girl. Maybe he found out that you were talking about him on a forum, hence why he doesn't want to associate with you. Leave him alone, or better yet move on to someone new. KICK HIM TO CURB LIKE TRASH, disassociate and be as unamused as possible. I have friends, but you think if one of them shadow bans me from their life, I am running after them?? NO. Put on your most sickening lip-gloss, whip that hair and walk right past Mr. James. Don't even say Hi but a stiff Good Morning. 

Edited March 24 by Phaunzie

[BrentB]

Hmm. So from what many others on here have surmised, it seems like you've been serving your ol' boy a steady dose of HEAVY incubus energy for a minute. That ****'s annoying as **** & it's very energetically draining. And to have him subjected to that for 40+ hours for weeks on end, I'd ignore you too if I were him luv LOOL.

 

But yeah. All that aside, all of you pick-me, literal incubus/succubus-in-the-soul, messy ass heaux are only going to learn when you're on the recieving end of this  dynamic. I low-key used to think str8 women were kinda bugging about creepy men in the workplaces UNTIL I wound up working alongside porn-addicted messy bottoms, add in an influx of HORNY middle-aged women who serve covert Cupcakke energy & be trying to drop hints every 5 minutes like they aren't already married.

 

It's 2024 though, so yeah,  a huge karmic year. So just think of someone who's the complete opposite of what you deem attractive, that you wouldn't touch with a 10 FEET DILDO, even if it was just you & them left on this muthafucka. You BETTER not hope that karma says that's your next co-worker 

[Maroonx]

better to let it go and ignore him back.

If its effecting your work, or if you think there's an underlying issue, go to HR

 

best of luck babes x

[Rotunda]

On 3/23/2024 at 12:06 PM, feelslikeadream said:

He sounds very unprofessional. Go above his head and complain to his boss that he is creating a toxic work environment.

Annoying higher ups about inconsequential interpersonal BS is the quickest way to get one someone's **** list.

[Rotunda]

9 hours ago, Hot Volcano said:

I guess I could stop checking when he's going to a cigarette break and to go there aswell just to have a chance to chat with him a bit  Thats the only desperate thing I sometimes do

 

Edited March 24 by Rotunda

[RussianRoulette]

You're so shallow and desperate it's embarrassing.

[ThousandMiles]

9 hours ago, Hot Volcano said:

You could't have explained it better! It's just that we already are distanced, so I feel like there is no way for me to distance myself even more. I guess I could stop checking when he's going to a cigarette break and to go there aswell just to have a chance to chat with him a bit  Thats the only desperate thing I sometimes do

 I am living a similar situation at my current job, but it's not a hot guy I have a secret crush on, it's a bitter gay that's been rude to me since day 1 for no reason.  He's nice to everyone else which makes it even more frustrating. I have to actively try to not let it get my head, but it's a struggle.. I am a cancer and have been raised a people pleaser. At least i'm aware of it now that i'm older, so I can actively work on being okay with not everyone liking me. I suggest you try and do the same. If it's gets extremely toxic, unjustified and you feel like it could be classified as bullying, you should go to HR or consider moving workplaces (as a last resort). 

[feelslikeadream]

53 minutes ago, Rotunda said:

Annoying higher ups about inconsequential interpersonal BS is the quickest way to get one someone's **** list.

Umm, it's not "interpersonal BS" according to the OP, which says his rude behavior "makes it hard for me to work with him."  If he's being nasty in personal settings, OP should just deal with it, but apparently it's impacting their work, which is something different.

[JonginBey]

The way y'all brain cells die in the presence of a "hot" man. Take the hints and move on! Y'all gay men stay embarrassing me day after day.

 

 

 

[Funnyfatty]

I believe your feelings are not just lust but you are probably in love with him. Especially if you can't stop talking about him. And when you know that you never have a chance you might even be more obsessed with it because it's hard. I hope you will heal as soon as possible. 

[Rotunda]

2 hours ago, feelslikeadream said:

Umm, it's not "interpersonal BS" according to the OP, which says his rude behavior "makes it hard for me to work with him."  If he's being nasty in personal settings, OP should just deal with it, but apparently it's impacting their work, which is something different.

It's only impacting their work because OP is acting like a child, and going so far as to wait for this man to take cigarette breaks so he can talk to him.  

There's a non-zero chance OP comes out of the conversation looking like someone who isn't able to contain a crush and who is making someone uncomfortable. 

Edited March 25 by Rotunda

[Capris Groove]

Why do you want someone who clearly does not like you, to like you?

 

That is the ultimate question you have to consider here. I strongly suggest talking this out with a therapist and that's no shade.

[AMIT]

14 hours ago, Hot Volcano said:

You could't have explained it better! Its just that we already are distanced, so I feel like there is no way for me to distance myself even more. I guess I could stop checking when he's going to a cigarette break and to go there aswell just to have a chance to chat with him a bit  Thats the only desperate thing I sometimes do

sis, and you don't think he knows that you do that?

 

 

As others have said already, he is AWARE that you have feelings for him and him treating you like this is his way of telling you that nothing will ever happen between you two. You are trying to make it seem like he's the one being weird but then you expose yourself like with the bolded sentence. I know how hard it can be, but please stop. Being a pick-me like that is really embarrassing and nothing good will come out of it for you. Also this is not the first time you brought him/this whole situation up, maybe not even the second time and the last time was a WHILE ago. We're begging, leave him alone! 

[Hot Volcano]

6 hours ago, Rotunda said:

 

 

1 hour ago, AMIT said:

sis, and you don't think he knows that you do that?

 

 

As others have said already, he is AWARE that you have feelings for him and him treating you like this is his way of telling you that nothing will ever happen between you two. You are trying to make it seem like he's the one being weird but then you expose yourself like with the bolded sentence. I know how hard it can be, but please stop. Being a pick-me like that is really embarrassing and nothing good will come out of it for you. Also this is not the first time you brought him/this whole situation up, maybe not even the second time and the last time was a WHILE ago. We're begging, leave him alone! 

 

3 hours ago, Rotunda said:

It's only impacting their work because OP is acting like a child, and going so far as to wait for this man to take cigarette breaks so he can talk to him.  

There's a non-zero chance OP comes out of the conversation looking like someone who isn't able to contain a crush and who is making someone uncomfortable. 

I should have made it clear that he's a passionate smoker, who goes on a cigarette breaks literally 10 times a day. Me going at the same time as him 2 or 3 times a week is not noticable

 

I wish that was the reason he's acting this way, but I'm telling you - there is no obvious reason and thats whats killing me.

[Hot Volcano]

On 3/23/2024 at 8:36 PM, Red Velvet said:

Maybe you stare at him too much and he noticed now feels uncomfortable? 

I have considered this tbh. I dont "stare" ofc, but since he is sitting right across me, sometimes I take a look at him but I dont think he notices things like that since you would usually look back right away.

 

9 hours ago, BrentB said:

Hmm. So from what many others on here have surmised, it seems like you've been serving your ol' boy a steady dose of HEAVY incubus energy for a minute. That ****'s annoying as **** & it's very energetically draining. And to have him subjected to that for 40+ hours for weeks on end, I'd ignore you too if I were him luv LOOL.

 

But yeah. All that aside, all of you pick-me, literal incubus/succubus-in-the-soul, messy ass heaux are only going to learn when you're on the recieving end of this  dynamic. I low-key used to think str8 women were kinda bugging about creepy men in the workplaces UNTIL I wound up working alongside porn-addicted messy bottoms, add in an influx of HORNY middle-aged women who serve covert Cupcakke energy & be trying to drop hints every 5 minutes like they aren't already married.

 

It's 2024 though, so yeah,  a huge karmic year. So just think of someone who's the complete opposite of what you deem attractive, that you wouldn't touch with a 10 FEET DILDO, even if it was just you & them left on this muthafucka. You BETTER not hope that karma says that's your next co-worker 

Guuurl

 

At least you made me chuckle a bit

 

3 hours ago, Funnyfatty said:

I believe your feelings are not just lust but you are probably in love with him. Especially if you can't stop talking about him. And when you know that you never have a chance you might even be more obsessed with it because it's hard. I hope you will heal as soon as possible. 

This is what I am afraid of Two months ago I decided to completely ignore him. I lasted only 2 weeks since it was too much for me not to even say hi to him...

[Specter]

On 3/23/2024 at 11:54 AM, Hot Volcano said:

nd tbh if he were ugly I'm not sure if it would've bothered me this much, I know, very shallow of me, but I cant help it

Was somewhat sympathetic until this.

 

You don't deserve nothing; dwell on the fact that he's probably had get-togethers with your co-workers without you knowing

[Funnyfatty]

2 hours ago, Hot Volcano said:

I have considered this tbh. I dont "stare" ofc, but since he is sitting right across me, sometimes I take a look at him but I dont think he notices things like that since you would usually look back right away.

 

Guuurl

 

At least you made me chuckle a bit

 

This is what I am afraid of Two months ago I decided to completely ignore him. I lasted only 2 weeks since it was too much for me not to even say hi to him...

Bro you are totally in love with him. I understand what you are talking about and the biches here don't. Its easy to say "get a life, dont stare at him". You feel this thing maybe once or twice in your whole life and the only thing you think about is how to get his attention. I'm sure a simple "hello" from his side will make you smile for a month… 

 

I experienced the same sht for 4 years. He was my classmate. I would consider every small detail as a sign from the universe. He ended up marrying with a girl and has a daughter now lol 

 

You will forget him one day. I did. Its just a process. It will make you a powerful person but it might be hard now. 
 

i send you lots of love and i hope you will learn out of this as quick as possible  

[Rotunda]

12 hours ago, Hot Volcano said:

 

 

I should have made it clear that he's a passionate smoker, who goes on a cigarette breaks literally 10 times a day. Me going at the same time as him 2 or 3 times a week is not noticable

 

I wish that was the reason he's acting this way, but I'm telling you - there is no obvious reason and thats whats killing me.

We are generally worse at assessing how other people perceive us than an outside observer would be. You're always going to be able to convince yourself that you aren't behaving irrationally, because you know how to justify your actions to yourself. 

Cishet men do not typically go around having heart to hearts about not feeling included in platonic situations with other men. And if they do have those talks they certainly arent an hour long. 
 

I'm not saying your feelings are invalid, but I think it's clear to him you're desperate for his approval/attention, and that generally doesn't make men more likely to want to interact with someone.

[Hot Volcano]

9 hours ago, Funnyfatty said:

Bro you are totally in love with him. I understand what you are talking about and the biches here don't. Its easy to say "get a life, dont stare at him". You feel this thing maybe once or twice in your whole life and the only thing you think about is how to get his attention. I'm sure a simple "hello" from his side will make you smile for a month… 

 

I experienced the same sht for 4 years. He was my classmate. I would consider every small detail as a sign from the universe. He ended up marrying with a girl and has a daughter now lol 

 

You will forget him one day. I did. Its just a process. It will make you a powerful person but it might be hard now. 
 

i send you lots of love and i hope you will learn out of this as quick as possible  

 

Quite hard to forget about him if I'm seeing him every single day and he is sitting right across me, have no choice but to be face to face.

 

The worst thing is, when he is not in the office, I cant wait for him to come back  Instead of being happy that jerk is not around.

 

5 minutes ago, Rotunda said:

We are generally worse at assessing how other people perceive us than an outside observer would be. You're always going to be able to convince yourself that you aren't behaving irrationally, because you know how to justify your actions to yourself. 

Cishet men do not typically go around having heart to hearts about not feeling included in platonic situations with other men. And if they do have those talks they certainly arent an hour long. 
 

I'm not saying your feelings are invalid, but I think it's clear to him you're desperate for his approval/attention, and that generally doesn't make men more likely to want to interact with someone.

This is very true. However, this might sound pretentious af, but I'm beloved in that ******* office. Everyone is talking to me, asking me for a coffee, to hang out after work. I actually feel bad for ignoring some people which is quite ironic given this situation.

 

I have NEVER felt any kind of negative energy from anyone else. I even kept in touch with people who quit. 

 

That is why this is so bizzare. 

[Rotunda]

4 minutes ago, Hot Volcano said:

 

Quite hard to forget about him if I'm seeing him every single day and he is sitting right across me, have no choice but to be face to face.

 

The worst thing is, when he is not in the office, I cant wait for him to come back  Instead of being happy that jerk is not around.

 

This is very true. However, this might sound pretentious af, but I'm beloved in that ******* office. Everyone is talking to me, asking me for a coffee, to hang out after work. I actually feel bad for ignoring some people which is quite ironic given this situation.

 

I have NEVER felt any kind of negative energy from anyone else. I even kept in touch with people who quit. 

 

That is why this is so bizzare. 

Yeah I don't doubt the rest of the office likes you, and I don't think any of us can identity the cause of his original issue with you, all we can really tell you is the way you're going about it isn't necessarily helping matters.