discussion MAJOR UPDATE LAST PAGE! Should I talk to my hot work colleague who lowkey hates me?

[Hot Volcano]

I created a few threads about my issues with this guy before so some of you are already familiar with the topic

 

To sum it up - an incredibly hot guy is a team lead within my division at work. At times I have to work with him closely and he is the boss of all of my work buddies. Very chill and relaxed guy, loves to hang out and talk with everyone but me. Often excludes me from some gatherings or any work and non-work related thing. 

 

At times it was really hard for me, so I asked him to talk about it. He said its nothing personal and how I'm overeacting. After that he did start to hang out and communicate with me. Wasn't sure if it was out of pity or not but I did not care.

 

A year later, he has NEVER been this horrible to me. No conversation at all, makes it hard for me to work with him, doesn't even say hi back to me. I feel like something's up and I have this need to talk to him about it again.

 

But I'm aware its gonna make me look desperate. Bothering this guy for the second time.

 

And tbh if he were ugly I'm not sure if it would've bothered me this much, I know, very shallow of me, but I cant help it. And yes, he is super straight.

 

What should I do?

Edited April 10 by Hot Volcano

[Ricanaire]

Girl leave him ALONE.

[skwonderfactory]

1 minute ago, Ricanaire said:

Girl leave him ALONE.

Yeah, just let him be. There's plenty of other men out there, and I am sure, one who will actually want you without having to actively seek attention.

[Kavish]

Only talk to him if his behaviour towards you is affecting your job.  Otherwise, 

 

[Burn]

You're letting this take up too much of your headspace. Honestly I think you should just forget about it and move on. Why would you even want to get close to/be friends with someone who is so cold and treats you like this anyway?

[feelslikeadream]

He sounds very unprofessional. Go above his head and complain to his boss that he is creating a toxic work environment.

[Mr. Peanutbutter]

Just leave him alone. Don't waste your energy on people who don't want to spend energy on you

[Aston Martin]

Only communicate with him about work-related matters (and only when you absolutely have to) and ignore him otherwise. 

[SinnerCity]

If it's affecting your work, take it to HR, if you can keep working fine, don't pursue anything and leave him alone.

[shyboi]

sis, this is pathetic, he's obviously getting the vibes that you are into him, you are making him uncomfortable.

 

nothing worst that people annoyingly thirsting over you, such a turn off, seriously, specially since he's straight

 

what you need to do is start acting normal around him, unbothered and lowkey (please really lowkey) start ignoring him a little, except for work related things

Edited March 23 by shyboi

[Likingstars]

Girl, seems like you're the problem… 

[My Tears Ricochet]

Try switching to some other company. It's having to see him daily that's driving u mad. There's no other way

[Rence]

If he doesn't respond to anything you say that's work-related then it's time to reach out to HR. If he's ignoring you outside work then it's clear that he doesn't want to be friends with you. That's when you take your cue to leave him alone

[EtherealCat]

he can probably sense the weird obsession

[LoveInStereo]

Him being hot is such an irrelevant detail that I have to agree with the ppl above me & assume that you're giving him an intense vibe that he's not trying to get. I've struggled with feeling like an outcast for a lot of my life but connecting with people has absolutely 0 to do with their looks. If his acceptance means more to you bc of his attractiveness, that's… odd, to say the least. Most practical advice I can give you is this isn't an external problem, you need to do self work

[Sabrina Carpenter]

you seem obsessed...  get over that crush ASAP

[Princess Aurora]

Ignore him back. I'm just that petty 

[Comedor]

Sounds like you are low key harassing him. We are with the straight guy. 

[Illuminati]

He probably thinks you're hitting on him (and it kinda sounds like you are). Straight guys jump to that conclusion very fast around gay men and either tease you about it or get super weird and uncomfortable.

 

If you're really into him you can always just catfish him on Tinder and then move on

[TROPICUM]

the backfire omg

[getBusy]

[Reginald]

 

But really, I never try to pursue relationships with coworkers. It's just not worth the drama.

[Hot Volcano]

1 hour ago, Burn said:

You're letting this take up too much of your headspace. Honestly I think you should just forget about it and move on. Why would you even want to get close to/be friends with someone who is so cold and treats you like this anyway?

 

1 hour ago, feelslikeadream said:

He sounds very unprofessional. Go above his head and complain to his boss that he is creating a toxic work environment.

The thing is, one of my teamates had the same experience with him when it comes to work. He just doesn't care outside of his own team. And he is in a very good relationship with that guy.

 

1 hour ago, shyboi said:

sis, this is pathetic, he's obviously getting the vibes that you are into him, you are making him uncomfortable.

 

nothing worst that people annoyingly thirsting over you, such a turn off, seriously, specially since he's straight

 

what you need to do is start acting normal around him, unbothered and lowkey (please really lowkey) start ignoring him a little, except for work related things

 

46 minutes ago, Comedor said:

Sounds like you are low key harassing him. We are with the straight guy. 

Nah. I've actually been quite cold to him. I have my dignity. However it's eating me up INSIDE. 

 

I keep listening to olivia's lacy, it's so relatable with this situation.

[Azulito]

1 hour ago, Hot Volcano said:

And tbh if he were ugly I'm not sure if it would've bothered me this much, I know, very shallow of me, but I cant help it.

 

[The 1]

Stop bothering him and let it be. 

Stop being so desperate and have some dignity and pride girl

Edited March 23 by The 1