discussion guy im seeing is smart, cute, and rich, but sex is terrible. should i leave him?

[Jon Snow]

why are people okay with cheating 

 

if you're not into open relationships, talk to him. you can both learn to do it the way other one likes it. if it doesn't work out, you can always part ways. just talk. it's gonna be fine

[Mickie]

If this situation makes you frustrated, you must have a talk, and think twice if you want to pursue something more, because the chances it will change are not 0, but he has just communicated you he's a side. Healthy relationship is where both parties are happy with eachother, not frustrated. It also seems that sex is important to you.

Think for alternatives you could incorporate into your bed with him - perhaps there are solutions too.

 

When it happens that you both will have a serious talk - don't push, don't force - just talk, and see where it goes, and trust your gut. Communication is the key.

 

I have my fingers crossed that it will go well 

Edited February 17 by Mickie

[Moloko Plus]

You need to communicate with him and make yourself/your needs clear. Perhaps continuing the sexual relationship and trying slightly new things each time to get him more comfortable with the idea of penetration. If he’s as rich, cute, and smart as you’re claiming, I’d put more effort into making the sexual relationship more fulfilling/comfortable for both parties.

[oshyms]

you didn’t mention anything about his personality. i think if your pull factors revolve around money and status you should leave him now. he deserves better & you can find someone who ticks all your boxes 

 

 

[Cheers]

What’s a side?

 

Anyways… sexual dissatisfaction is one reason relationships don’t work, unfortunately. Talk to him about it. If you both aren’t on the same page then maybe it’s time to pursue other people. Shame cause he sounds like a great guy.

[Bosque]

Buy a dildo and a realistic prosthetic ass he can strap on

[Mickie]

Just now, Cheers said:

What’s a side?

Basically a person who's a side in bed finds sexual fulfilment in every kind of act with a partner, except for penetration 

[Yawn]

as a vers that has IBS and is bad at topping, i would be quite happy in a side relationship  i don’t see it as a dealbreaker in your situation because it can always be worked and improved, but its ultimately down to you and your preferences. 

[Antisocialites]

okaayyyy

 

 

[Johnny Jacobs]

A guy can always get better at sex. 

 

Gently guide him into it or make him watch porn with the style you like and give him a hint.

[shyboi]

41 minutes ago, May said:

me and my bf are sides and I prefer it

 

ive had relationships in the past where penetration was a thing and it’s legit just too much hassle

 

like .. i prefer it this way 

 

whats a side? 

[Asscatchem]

11 minutes ago, oshyms said:

you didn’t mention anything about his personality. i think if your pull factors revolve around money and status you should leave him now. he deserves better & you can find someone who ticks all your boxes 

 

 

im not dating him for his money/status. im good on my own, its just nice to have someone who is also driven and works hard, but often i feel like without sexual fulfillment it's basically a friendship. he has a cute personality and he keeps in touch with many of his friends throughout high school, undergrad, and grad

[Asscatchem]

Just now, shyboi said:

 

whats a side? 

i didnt put it in the OP because i dont hear that term often either but it just means this:
 

10 minutes ago, Mickie said:

Basically a person who's a side in bed finds sexual fulfilment in every kind of act with a partner, except for penetration 

 

[shyboi]

5 minutes ago, Yawn said:

as a vers that has IBS and is bad at topping

 

 

pick a struggle sis! 

[Ricanaire]

Not this thread making me realize I’m also a side 😭

[John Slayne]

44 minutes ago, Asscatchem said:

i dont personally enjoy open relationships  

that's your only option if you want to be with this guy long-term. if penetration is something you desire but he can't give it to you, the itch will eventually get worse and worse... are you comfortable with having no penetration for the rest of your life? because that's what will happen if you are monogamous with this man and you don't break up.

 

this situation will NOT sort itself out and if it bothers you this early on, imagine how annoying it's gonna get in the next few months.

 

however, if you do open the relationship and see other people sexually, you might still be able to maintain your emotional connection with this guy and get sexual satisfaction somewhere else. it's not for everyone, but open relationships are not as bad as people make them out to be. your life will only ever get messy if you make it so.

[holyground13]

As others have said, communication is key. I think the best thing would be to let him know that penetration is important for you. Maybe you guys can meet in the middle some way, or maybe he's not into penetration at all and that's okay. If that's the case, from that point on you'll have to decide whether you're okay staying in the relationship or aren't satisfied without penetration.

 

Maybe the good parts of the relationship are enough and the lack of penetration is a compromise you might have to make?

 

But again, communication is key, so particularly if you're at the start of the relationship it's important that the other person is aware of any concerns you have.

[Yawn]

10 minutes ago, shyboi said:

 

 

pick a struggle sis! 

well yes. i’m cursed but this won’t be a surprise to some.

 

nobody can have it all anyway! 

[Attaboy]

Bad sex can mean two things:

 

1. they need to be taught to accommodate ur needs

2. there is an awareness chip missing (see bad kissers also)

 

If the latter, run for the hills 

[shyboi]

5 minutes ago, Yawn said:

well yes. i’m cursed but this won’t be a surprise to some.

 

nobody can have it all anyway! 

 

im joking bestie! you will get what you want in life 

[Joyride]

what if you're the problem

[Into The Void]

1 hour ago, Asscatchem said:

we didnt sleep together the first few dates (because i wanted to be more than just a hookup) but recently we did and i discovered... hes not into penetration (he's neither a top/bottom. im vers).

i dont know, im really attracted to his face, he's pursuing a phd in chemical biology, and his family is well off but im getting bored of just foreplay. should i leave him? or can i change him? is this a logical dealbreaker?

I assume he has a iphone?

[Rico Shameless v2]

If you prefer to go further intimately you should just let him go. Depending on age it’s hard to expect a shift that he’s not going to be forcing to please you, until he decides to leave.

 

Personally, as I get older I prefer something like this. Some fun play in bed as long as we’re connecting in other ways.

[sha-nasty]

You could send him my way 

[NoOneDiesFromLove]

Training season is NOT over!!

 

Spoiler

Dump him so I can date him