Lucky#17 Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 1 hour ago, Speezy said: Serve Hello Kitty ! nnnnnn; it's not THAT bad. (or at least I'm praying the judges don't think so) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glassmouth Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hug Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I don't think I'll do that bad, but I'm definitely not expecting a #1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speezy Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 3 hours ago, Lucky#17 said: nnnnnn; it's not THAT bad. (or at least I'm praying the judges don't think so) Okay maybe Swish Swish meets One Dance with a dash of Gangnam style Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 57 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said: can yall finish ****ing judging its the literal weekend and yall were like guhhhguhguhuh we cant let the challenge be on the weekend cuz we have to judge hrhuhuhharhlrhlkj :(( WHERE ARE THE REVIEWS it's like the 5th thing on my list to do today so wait hag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 1 hour ago, Gastrodonatella said: can yall finish ****ing judging its the literal weekend and yall were like guhhhguhguhuh we cant let the challenge be on the weekend cuz we have to judge hrhuhuhharhlrhlkj :(( WHERE ARE THE REVIEWS It's been just over a day... And you already know yours are gonna be trash! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 Anyway I'm gonna start tomorrow so begin expecting things from me and being annoying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speezy Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) 3 minutes ago, keshaspearsxo said: Anyway I'm gonna start tomorrow so begin expecting things from me and being annoying Platinum Hit Z: Episode 105 - Start of the Judges. Who's First!? Edited May 21, 2017 by Speezy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hug Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Wouldn't be surprised if we got results first then judging! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Temporal Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 48 minutes ago, Hug said: Wouldn't be surprised if we got results first then judging! @ me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hug Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Just now, Temporal said: @ me I actually figured you'd be the first one in. My guess would be you > gabe > sam > pear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Temporal Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 10 minutes ago, Hug said: I actually figured you'd be the first one in. My guess would be you > gabe > sam > pear I mean I still could be! We'll have to see im doing reviews tomorrow idk about the other fats :dubfrown: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceremonials Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 In the meantime let's dub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hug Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 1 minute ago, ceremonials said: In the meantime let's dub if u say so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceremonials Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Me and hug being dubs only remaining life support Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceremonials Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 https://www.dubtrack.fm/join/platinumhitlers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 6 hours ago, Corsola said: expecting reviews from pears that aren't 1 minute before the results? not happening! 6 hours ago, Hug said: Wouldn't be surprised if we got results first then judging! 6 hours ago, Gastrodonatella said: Rude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hug Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Maybe there will be comments when I wake up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alldeezy Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I missed sign ups again Dx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 3 hours ago, M A R N ✮ said: I missed sign ups again Dx ? check back in August! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8thPrince Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I made some translyrics, they're so cute, I wanna write a song about friendship Spoiler No matter the time, it’s not too late I am always here, so don’t delay Knock on my door If you ever need some help Whenever you’re by yourself If you just feel you need Someone else Come and open up your heart Even if the lights are off Knock on my door There aren’t any strings attached No conditions to unpack Don’t have nothing to prove… “Knock knock!” Come! Open up! You got nothing to lose Hear that: “boom, boom!” One more time: “boom, boom!” Baby knock on my door, knock Doesn’t take much to open it up! Come every day, or just once in a year And I will still be waiting here Baby knock on my door, knock I promise you’ve got nothing to fear: Knock on my door You don’t need a golden key Or to get lucky Just come, everything’s gonna be OK No matter noon or 2AM No matter any circumstance I’ll run to jump into my car Drive out to anywhere you are Don’t think twice, or worry ‘bout my time: It’s all yours Come, come, there’s no time where the gate would ever close (Come as you are) Don’t concern yourself with any secret phrase or codes Knock on my door Knock on my door Come in, come in, come in, baby Take my hands Come! Open up! You got nothing to lose Hear that: “boom, boom!” One more time: “boom, boom!” Baby knock on my door, knock Doesn’t take much to open it up! Come every day, or just once in a year And I will still be waiting here Baby knock on my door, knock I promise you’ve got nothing to fear: Knock on my door Hey, hey Do you hear the locks turning? Don’t worry, I don’t want to sleep Don’t, don’t want to sleep If I knew that I could be missing you (Come knock on my door) Come! Open up! You got nothing to lose Hear that: “boom, boom!” One more time: “boom, boom!” Baby knock on my door, knock Doesn’t take much to open it up! Come every day, or just once in a year And I will still be waiting here Baby knock on my door, knock I promise you’ve got nothing to fear: Knock on my door (Knock knock, knock knock on my door No freaking, freaking out, freaking out, out, no no! Knock knock, knock knock on my door) Knock on my door Knock on my door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ughgabriel Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 BATCH 1 @Gastrodonatella - Beat Me Up Like Your Pup Though troll entries are not my thing I will say that the lyrics were consistent enough. You kept the doggy thematic during the song and a lot of times people tend to forget about consistency on their lyrics. I wish you would've gone over the top. It's a troll entry and I think you could've gone further with your word choice and metaphors. Though I said you were consistent I was hoping for more dog analogies: barking, gasping, training, idk why but I feel like "train me to sit on your dick" would've been good Your meter was good, and verse 1 is very cohesive and flows well. Verse 2 on the other hand is a little weird with the word choices and the lines which aren't really connected to each other. The chorus could've been stronger as a whole because there's a lot going on. Chastity/titties feels off because it's clear you wanted to use them for rhyming purposes but the stress was a problem there. Also the 2 girls 1 cup reference felt out of place for me. I will say my favorite line was "I'll play fetch with the neighbor's ****"! Also the outro reminded me of Bitch I'm Madonna's outro with the barking and everything but yeah you could've elevated the song writing more stuff on this part instead of using onomatopeia. If you want feedback on specific parts/lines you can always ask! @beatinglikeadrum - Emotions of My Broken Heart This entry was a little confusing for me because I still don't know if I'm getting it right. But to me this song is about you being in love with this person who is not really in love you and he's just taking advantage of your heart to build themeselves up. And you're trying to get over it but you just go back to it like a never ending circle, am I getting it right? Anyway if that's the case I do see the relation with your picture and it's fitting. However the structure of the song started very strange and all over the place. The first verse has no meter at all so it's a little hard to find a rhythm or pace for it. Also the first line bothers me a bit because it remains incomplete but then you decide to complete it on the second line. I mean it wouldn't make. Sense if. I wrote my reviews like. This. You know what I'm saying? It's rather confusing. You do the same thing with the fourth and fifth line. Moving on to the chorus I think the second half of it is what saved it. Here you did the same thing about the "incomplete" sentence thing, but here it works because the second line doesn't complete something that the first one left unfinished, instead it complements the first one adding something new. (But still you're using the tears / To create all my fears). A comment I think could apply to the whole song is that you have the idea but the execution is lacking. I want to encourage you to find ways to express it in a unique way so you stand out because right now it's not bad but it feels very indistinctive. And this is a season where you can take a lot of risks and explore different phases of your writing so I hope you try to find a unique way to present what you're giving us. If you want feedback on specific parts/lines you can always ask! @Nait Phoenix - Raven Okay, this entry is really confusing to me because a lot of the things you wrote are so unclear like "I read between each line" but what did you read? Pretty much the whole chorus is confusing me. The whole song felt very philosophical which is not a bad thing but these kind of themes are very hard to put into words because we can't see what goes through your head. So some symbols and metaphors are not going to land the way you want them to. You really need to find ways to express the story you're trying to tell knowing the reader is going to be able to understand and get what you are saying. Maybe it's just a matter of deepen the subject, adding some detail to the story. You did technicalities well. Your meter was good. The refrain was the only part that I found understandable. I took it as if you found this sense of clarity and somehow trascended to move on into a better life than how people are used to and I thought it was very fitting with the picture you used. If you want feedback on specific parts/lines you can always ask! @Cupid - Road to the Well I thought this was really good! I really liked the subtlety and poetic undertone of the song because it fits perfectly well with the metaphor of diving into the unknown. And what I liked the most about it is the part about falling in love with mystery. And of course your picture was very fitting for the song. Maybe the mention of the bed was a little out of place because of the mystery and water imagery but I don't have any complains aside from that. If you want feedback on specific parts/lines you can always ask! @ICEY - Close My Eyes I didn't really find the connection between your cover and the song :( I mean I could connect it with the title, but it doesn't really connect with the song's meaning. And I think the song itself didn't quite reflect the story behind it, I believe the dark clouds above my head part was the best line because it really connected with the description you gave us, you could've used that metaphor throughout the whole song and play around it. I think that could've worked. So my advice would be if you're going to choose a metaphor, you should play with it during the whole song and add new things to it so it doesn't feel monotonous or unevent, just make sure it's cohesive and makes sense. The using of "oh", "ah", etc... I wouldn't recommend it because it feels like you're using that space for empty words instead of real words that could add something and elevate that line. If you want feedback on specific parts/lines you can always ask! @Glassmouth- Magic Kiss The unfinished lines have been a struggle this round in multiple songs. It feels like you cut the 3rd just for meter purposes. This shall work with no time / if you flow like... would be the correct way to phrase it, I believe. I liked the french verse because the meaning is so clear but the incomplete sentence problem is there too (...your arm without / knowing tomorrow). But I really liked how you incorporated french in the song because it follows the romantic nature of the song. As for the whole song I did get the feeling as if you were begging this person to allow themeselves to love you and obviously, your devotion for them. But if you say it's about wanting them to forgive and forget too, I would like to go in depth and get to know about that too. Why is this person afraid? What happened? Forgive and forget what? You know? You could've worked on that part a little more. But hey! It's just round 1, you still have plenty of time to grow! If you want feedback on specific parts/lines you can always ask! @Hug - Drowned in Neon As I was going through the titles I was so excited to read this one because I just love neon/glow in the dark imagery. And YAS! This is really well done! This a really dark bop but it's so well written, ugh. Your meter was impeccable, but I bet you already know that! I will say it was a little confusing the comparison to summer rain on the 3rd line. But aside from that everything was really great. I really liked how you alternate on the chorus the "I'll try to hide/find your hand prints" because it makes so much sense that when you're drunk/partying you either forget about your problems or your mind maximizes them. A really great start for you. If you want feedback on specific parts/lines you can always ask! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 it begins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speezy Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Snubbed from Batch 1 but top of Batch 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatinglikeadrum Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 This review was very helpful and not as ruthless as One Of The Boys reviews. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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