ughgabriel Posted November 23, 2020 Author Posted November 23, 2020 @Hug - Someday Came To Be Spoiler I should start reading descriptions before reading the song because I started reviewing Someday’s Not Today thinking it was a double entry n I think you nailed the essence of what this round was all about because this feels like your most personal song when it comes to narrative. While you’ve explored the emotional field with other songs like Wolf/Moon and Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring; this one feels more raw because you went with a less metaphorical approach. I think I wouldn’t change anything about this entry. What I liked most about this is that even though you had a clear structure, it didn’t feel like the song was divided by sections. Everything flowed so well as if it was one whole section. It made a great, cohesive and greatly crafted read. This is the type of emotionality that, in my opinion, is the most effective. While there are great songs that focus on showcasing one specific emotion, I feel like the songs that project multiple sentiments or more complex emotions are the ones that will stay with you. And I really feel you did a superb job by evoking relief, healing, nostalgia and the melancholy that came before all that. @Posh Spice - payton Spoiler I honestly think you have a really great talent when it comes to storytelling. Your style is very unique and it feels as if I was watching a coming of age movie. You tend to paint a really clear picture which is always a great thing. You let the reader position themself in the place of the protagonist. The story you created here is very engaging and I think you incorporated a lot of details in this song which is always a right move, in my opinion. They make your song stand out among others that have approached this topic before. I usually like a little more of emotional description in these type of songs but I think, this time, the song didn’t need all of that because you gave us a complete and full developed story and I can just picture the protagonist in a room full of people, looking at payton and just getting flashbacks of everything. I like that you give the reader a chance to decide what the protagonist is feeling. I guess it will really depend on the current emotional state of the reader, because I thought it had a nostalgic and anguishing tone to it. But there really wasn’t a moment where you described or portrayed those emotions. So it thought it was really cool that you could trigger these type of emotions on the reader! I think this is your best song so far. @funnellegs - fake flower Spoiler I honestly love the imagery and metaphor you used for this song. I thought it was really fitting and you developed it a very effective way. I really liked how this almost reads like a tale, a bedtime story in a way, and I think that was a really clever choice because the whole song revolves around being lifted up, supported and watered by your parents. So, of course, this song had this child like nature that connects right back to the style of the narrative that you went with. At first, I was a little skeptical about the word “gay” because it feels a little abrupt and blunt when you take into consideration the previous verse with all its metaphorical approach. But then, I thought it was also a way to mirror the fears that were exposed within the song. Meaning that everything seemed perfectly calm in this garden and your fear was originated after realizing that something felt “out of place” and could maybe interfere with the harmony of this place. I don’t know if that was the intention, but I thought it was very intelligent and ended up liking it! Very solid job! @Dessy - Mount Andres Spoiler I really liked the autumn imagery that you incorporated in this entry. And I think you were pretty consistent with it throughout the whole song. I think that even though you said that this wasn’t related to the sins, the mentioning of getting revenge was kind of a reminiscent moment to your song from the previous challenge. I think the sectioning of the song in here may have not been my favorite because I feel like the transition from Verse 1 to the chorus was a bit abrupt when it comes to narrative and I thought, it would’ve been a little more effective if you went from Verse 1 to Verse 2, since it would’ve made more sense, chronologically. I honestly love your chorus and the meaning behind it. Comparing the peak of a love to reaching the highest point while hiking/climbing is a very simple metaphor but when you bring these simple activities that we all do into your songs, it gives your song this universality where almost everyone should be able to understand the feeling you’re trying to convey with it. @Rence - mother’s mercy Spoiler Titles are a very important part to your song. And I feel like, out of the songs from this season, this is the one that has felt the most emotionally heavy to me. When I read the title, my expectations went very high. This is honestly the epitome of releasing bottled up emotions. You said that you’ve been wanting to write this song since one year ago. And I think you had a lot of time to let these emotions settle and find clarity on what you wanted to say. I feel like you said everything that was needed to be said. I’m honestly blown away. The whole build up in this song to prepare the reader for when they reach that masterful bridge is amazing. The pinnacle of your writing. @keshaspearsxo - O R 2 Spoiler This song really captures what I liked so much about O R, which is the persistent build up where the song leads into something that goes beyond your expectations until it reaches its final climax. I feel like your writing style and the unusual structure in songs like this are a great combo. It creates a great piece and it stands out for being very unique. I honestly think that, while I really enjoyed O R, this one is even better because it channels the emotion in another level. This song had a very enigmatic, mysterious, kind of existentialist and very illuminating vibe. It really feels like you peeled off another layer and we’re getting closer to the core of the story. There’s this feeling of being almost there; kind of like reaching the climax and ending on a cliffhanger. While this song was more clear when it came to the storyline, there was a very suspenseful tone that may have answered some questions but left (orange) room for others. The way this song ends is amazing. The last four lines are not labeled as an outro but I think it’s the outro of the season so far. @8thPrince - Life Is Laughing Spoiler I know there was nothing funny about this entry but the way you wrote it, worded it made me think of the tragicomedy genre. As if the protagonist was being watched by an audience and finding their misery to be funny. I guess it came to mind after reading the ending of the song. You know I’ve always liked your writing style. From your narrative to the little things you do in your songs, like the chorus variations. I feel like this one was the most well rounded when it comes to the incorporation of those elements. This song reminds me of the PH days where we’d do the self portrait challenge. This is a clear representation of who you are and what you’ve gone through, while giving it a very unique flare that lets the reader identify it as an 8thPrince song. Loved the song and the overall execution. Very good job.
Hug Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 @ughgabriel Thank you so much for your comments! The part about it being effective emotionally means a lot to me particularly because, as I've said before, I've felt like that was something I've struggled with for a long time. This season in general boosted my confidence a lot actually, so thank for that as well!
fountain Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 3 hours ago, ughgabriel said: @keshaspearsxo - O R 2 Hide contents This song really captures what I liked so much about O R, which is the persistent build up where the song leads into something that goes beyond your expectations until it reaches its final climax. I feel like your writing style and the unusual structure in songs like this are a great combo. It creates a great piece and it stands out for being very unique. I honestly think that, while I really enjoyed O R, this one is even better because it channels the emotion in another level. This song had a very enigmatic, mysterious, kind of existentialist and very illuminating vibe. It really feels like you peeled off another layer and we’re getting closer to the core of the story. There’s this feeling of being almost there; kind of like reaching the climax and ending on a cliffhanger. While this song was more clear when it came to the storyline, there was a very suspenseful tone that may have answered some questions but left (orange) room for others. The way this song ends is amazing. The last four lines are not labeled as an outro but I think it’s the outro of the season so far. Thank you!
Dessy Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 On 11/20/2020 at 9:57 AM, Prisoner said: So I broke my laptop and that's been an issue with the way I do my reviews, so I apologise for that. Anyway here are the reviews, good work everyone! https://docs.google.com/document/d/11Wt7CGvRBGhTRoTQ4Oh97PUD9FG8PNBV2jZyYThcOsk/edit?usp=drivesdk @Hug @funnellegs @8thPrince @Rence @keshaspearsxo @Dessy @Posh Spice I'm so glad you love the first verse. It was probably my most worked over part. On 11/20/2020 at 1:04 PM, Courtney Love said: This song came across to me as being about a couple at a crossroads where both were going different directions. The climbing the mountain felt like it was describing their relationship. I thought the line about the sunset in verse 1 really helped illustrate and was a great concept for it. But then we see that they’re choosing to ‘ignore any create that appear to stalk’, which makes it seem like you personified the issues in their relationship which I think is a really effective way of presenting this. Because at the end of the day, issues can’t be ignored because they’ll only get bigger. Which we can see with the Apex predatory wicked king and mountain lion who has decided the fate of their at the summit of the mountain. Overall I though this was a great concept. The only thing I would nitpick is that at some points it felt the song had started repeating itself a bit. I think just after the 1st chorus, there was a constant understanding that this relationship was over that I didn’t think needed to be as overstated as it was. However, you brough it back with the bridge about wishing that it wasn’t over and how the person wished they had did things different or fought harder. I really liked this part also. Thank you. Maybe a bit of initial narrative build-up would've helped here in hindsight. 8 hours ago, ughgabriel said: I think the sectioning of the song in here may have not been my favorite because I feel like the transition from Verse 1 to the chorus was a bit abrupt when it comes to narrative and I thought, it would’ve been a little more effective if you went from Verse 1 to Verse 2, since it would’ve made more sense, chronologically. asfasjfcsak The way I initially had Verse 2 following immediately but then took it back cause it seemed too short without an additional section somewhere I definitely could've done that or touch up the first chorus I think. Thanks for the reviews, y'all!
Dessy Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 On 11/20/2020 at 5:04 PM, keshaspearsxo said: Um why, do I have to fight somebody? You are the nicest, thank you always I agree completely, I felt quite similar on the seasons I was involved with. It’s moving getting to see all the entries and it’s melancholic when it starts coming to an end, PH and SOTS are great vehicles but it’s sometimes the only time when people write which is a shame. I always tried to be quite encouraging based on the fact alone that no matter what the judges think about anything you submit, and no matter where you place in a season or whatever, ultimately you have created something and that is an incredible thing to be proud of. There are many people who graze through life and never really try to contribute anything to it, or to think of more than what’s in front of them, and create something, but literally every player of this game can be proud and call themselves a creator. It’s a thing to be really really proud of, to create. I hope everybody feels this. I know I mentioned it in my entry doc last week, but I quit my job last year to pursue writing, so I take it quite seriously. And, even if I wasn’t actively trying to pursue this, I would still be doing it anyway as I have for years. It’s not that I’m looking for some kind of validation or success, I just want it to be the focus of my life, regardless of anything else. It’s so important to me and I can’t see myself doing anything else happily, honestly. It’s the most fulfilling thing I’ve done. I don’t specifically just do songs though, what I’m doing at the moment is writing a book. However songs is how I got my start and will probably always be the most natural and easiest for me. I am more or less constantly inspired musically. Sometimes I feel like I’ve warped my brain to think in a more lyrical way than thoughtful But yeah the tl;dr of what I’m trying to say is not just everybody still in the game, but everybody who even participated in the game should be really proud of themselves. This is the first time I’ve been in a SOTS iteration but it’s been great to come back and I have every intention of being around for the next in any way. I don’t know what the plan is for it but I hope it’s not a distant thought. This entire tea
Auburn Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 AUBURN'S REVIEWS okay sorry I'm here! I'm apologizing yet again for being the slowest, worst judge ffff Hug - Someday's Not Today / Someday Came To Be This is the first song of the season to bring tears to my eyes while reading. Very beautiful tribute to your mother. Astronomy - payton oooh, this is risque! I really really enjoyed this, it feels so real to read, you captured that so well. I think this is my fave song you’ve written so far! funnellegs - fake flowers Another tear-jerker for me. Y’all are killing me this round. So raw Dessy - Mount Andrés This was very nice too. I think the strongest part is that it is read like a story without feeling forced. Good job. Rence - mother’s mercy Beautiful. All these songs are about parents are killing me today, I’m a wreck! Rence, you have a way with words very few people possess. keshaspearsxo - O R 2 I think this is my favourite song from you thus far. It’s just so poignant and the use of orange juice as the metaphor for the situation is so perfectly fitting. Excellent. 8thPrince - Life Is Laughing Well, it’s very relatable to me so I think it’s great, even though it makes me depressed LOL. It’s different from a lot of the other songs this round in that it made me feel something about only myself rather than based on someone else. Those ones hit the hardest I think. You are all so great, I hate that I have to rank all of these songs because it feels like I'm saying some of them aren't good enough which isn't true. It’s killing me! Spoiler @Hug @Posh Spice @funnellegs @Dessy @Rence @keshaspearsxo @8thPrince
Auburn Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 @Ampersand13 sad to see you go but I completely understand not having enough time with school stuff in the way right now! Good luck king!
ughgabriel Posted November 23, 2020 Author Posted November 23, 2020 I’m on mobile so results will be more simple than usual but they’re starting in 5 minutes @Rence @Hug @Dessy @funnellegs @keshaspearsxo @Posh Spice @8thPrince
Rence Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 1 minute ago, ughgabriel said: Next page for elimination!! :pleadingcat:
ughgabriel Posted November 23, 2020 Author Posted November 23, 2020 It’s really coming down to the wire. Every person in here is so talented. I can’t believe we’re getting close to the end. Good luck to all of you <3 So happy to see you’ve made it this far. The person who is getting eliminated this round is... Spoiler @Ampersand13 I know this was probably just bad timing and it’s totally understandable. But it saddens us to see you go this way. You have so much talent and we believe that you’ve grown so much. We hope to see you again on future seasons. You had a great debut. You should be very very proud Farewell, crewman
ughgabriel Posted November 23, 2020 Author Posted November 23, 2020 Oh, baby, every morning there are mountains to climb... And we get another chance to climb a new one with this contestant! In 6th place we have... Spoiler @Dessy with “Mount Andrés” ?
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