Hug Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 3 minutes ago, Tsareena said: Did I read this? --- Breaking away from the imagery was mostly to show frustration. Forced rhymes always get me. Thought the Atlantis/ This rhyme was natural in my head. thanks for the ruhview This fucking gif stays sending me.
touya kinomoto Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 Now that reviews from Hugboard are in, I wanna share a throwback to my highest charting song. Hopefully this inspires me for the upcoming rounds. Spoiler OPAL SKIES [VERSE 1] I was lonely living alone In my monochromatic world My life was a sketch in a blank canvas My fate changed when you came along Armed with pallet instead of a sword To draw on color to my world at last [PRE-CHORUS] I was left breathless when I first saw you Felt like drowning in your pools of dark blue Am I hallucinating? Is it real, what I'm feeling? [CHORUS 1] We found love under opal skies Kaleidoscopic paradise You filled my world with every radiant hue All's aglow under opal skies You're my life's most brilliant surprise You filled my world with every radiant hue [HOOK] Under opal skies there was you... ooh ooh ooh There was you... ooh ooh ooh [VERSE 2] Thought it's gonna be forever Kept my hopes alive in my heart When truly I was just chasing rainbows We were sailing in rough waters Our made-up world was falling apart I still saw it through rose-tinted windows [BRIDGE 2] I was left speechless when I learned the truth Felt lost trying to reconcile the sooth Am I hallucinating? Is it real, what I'm seeing? [CHORUS 2] I found you under opal skies Getting lost in someone else's eyes I wonder was I ever loved by you There you were under opal skies His rainbow words got you enticed I wonder was I ever loved by you [HOOK] Under opal skies there was you... ooh ooh ooh There was you... ooh ooh ooh [BRIDGE] Got a broken heart from my misplaced trust The world we have built slowly turned to rust All I can do now is wave my white flag All I can do now is wave my white flag [CHORUS 3] I found love under opal skies Hurts to fall from the highest highs Wish I've known it was to good to be true I was dazzled by opal skies Blind to your technicolor lies Wish I've known it was to good to be true Under opal skies there was you... ooh ooh ooh There was you... ooh ooh ooh There was you... ooh ooh ooh There was you
swiftie13 Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 1 minute ago, Hug said: This ****ing gif stays sending me. she was pretty and iconic
Kunst Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 I was expecting to be ripped apart, but I'm glad you liked the line that contained the song title. As soon as it came to me, I knew it was gonna be the song title <3 Thank you, Hug, queen And about the two lines in the bridge, I'm sorry that was left in, shouldn't have, that was literally an off-topic rhyme that I forgot to delete #oops
Kylie Jenner Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 2 minutes ago, KatyCatPH said: Now that reviews from Hugboard are in, I wanna share a throwback to my highest charting song. Hopefully this inspires me for the upcoming rounds. Reveal hidden contents OPAL SKIES [VERSE 1] I was lonely living alone In my monochromatic world My life was a sketch in a blank canvas My fate changed when you came along Armed with pallet instead of a sword To draw on color to my world at last [PRE-CHORUS] I was left breathless when I first saw you Felt like drowning in your pools of dark blue Am I hallucinating? Is it real, what I'm feeling? [CHORUS 1] We found love under opal skies Kaleidoscopic paradise You filled my world with every radiant hue All's aglow under opal skies You're my life's most brilliant surprise You filled my world with every radiant hue [HOOK] Under opal skies there was you... ooh ooh ooh There was you... ooh ooh ooh [VERSE 2] Thought it's gonna be forever Kept my hopes alive in my heart When truly I was just chasing rainbows We were sailing in rough waters Our made-up world was falling apart I still saw it through rose-tinted windows [BRIDGE 2] I was left speechless when I learned the truth Felt lost trying to reconcile the sooth Am I hallucinating? Is it real, what I'm seeing? [CHORUS 2] I found you under opal skies Getting lost in someone else's eyes I wonder was I ever loved by you There you were under opal skies His rainbow words got you enticed I wonder was I ever loved by you [HOOK] Under opal skies there was you... ooh ooh ooh There was you... ooh ooh ooh [BRIDGE] Got a broken heart from my misplaced trust The world we have built slowly turned to rust All I can do now is wave my white flag All I can do now is wave my white flag [CHORUS 3] I found love under opal skies Hurts to fall from the highest highs Wish I've known it was to good to be true I was dazzled by opal skies Blind to your technicolor lies Wish I've known it was to good to be true Under opal skies there was you... ooh ooh ooh There was you... ooh ooh ooh There was you... ooh ooh ooh There was you girl you threw us back to this like 2 days ago
Kylie Jenner Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 1 minute ago, Corsola said: I genuinely think that your entry was really good for what is your first song ever. And if ATRL's Drag Race has proven anything, it's that you know how to improve and blossom into a dark horse contender. wow STAN for colleen queen of quitting thank you very much lovely
Hug Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 Just now, Kunst said: I was expecting to be ripped apart, but I'm glad you liked the line that contained the song title. As soon as it came to me, I knew it was gonna be the song title <3 Thank you, Hug, queen And about the two lines in the bridge, I'm sorry that was left in, shouldn't have, that was literally an off-topic rhyme that I forgot to delete #oops rftgyhnj sis Aww not you expecting to get ripped apart. You're doing amazing, sweetie.
touya kinomoto Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 1 minute ago, Kylie Jenner said: girl you threw us back to this like 2 days ago But the song was not there! I just found the lyrics again and finally (!!!) figured out what I did differently.
touya kinomoto Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 3 minutes ago, Corsola said: I genuinely think that your entry was really good for what is your first song ever. And if ATRL's Drag Race has proven anything, it's that you know how to improve and blossom into a dark horse contender. +1!
Obsession Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 12 minutes ago, Hug said: @Obsession: You kept a consistent metaphor through the song, which I appreciate. Some lines you have, however, feel a bit off, like it wasn’t the first word you thought of, but went with it for rhymessake. (“smooth” in the smooth/route rhyme, for instance.) Also, “wanderlust” was a cool word that you actually managed to use properly, but it feels diminished by “trail of dust” afterwards. That’s my biggest issue, besides maybe the lack of details as to why this relationship deteriorated, which makes this feel really cliched and unpersonable. The meter was fine and, as I said, you kept a consistent metaphor, so you do know what you’re doing, at least. I knew I was gonna get my wig a little tugged but I deserve it I definitely know I didn't do anything emotionally resonant there, I was more focusing on writing a technically sound pop song and I didn't really draw on much aside from like the concept of a breakup. I liked the metaphor and it took me like 5 minutes to write it (a minute more for some reworked lyrics, thanks @conatus) so I like that I know my weaknesses if I can make it to round 2
Kylie Jenner Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 1 minute ago, KatyCatPH said: +1! thanks gal. sending love
touya kinomoto Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 Just now, Kylie Jenner said: thanks gal. sending love Stop being too hard on yourself. Just like what they said, you got it. Just needs a bit of polishing. Unlike me, I have to work on a loooooot.
touya kinomoto Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 1 minute ago, Gastrodonatella said: wig okay Now I wanna see what The Gallery is all about.
touya kinomoto Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 Just now, Corsola said: It has the best AAAA scheme that I've read tbh My inbox is open @Gastrodonatella. I need inspiration for the next round.
Kylie Jenner Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 1 minute ago, Corsola said: Good thing my round 1 struggle was titled Cocoon. It's a clear set-up to build my storyline for when I flourish into a butterfly! jasmine masters is shaking
Kylie Jenner Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 wtf even is an AAAA scheme all i know is that that's how i want my grades to look
ATRL Moderator Tsareena Posted April 18, 2018 ATRL Moderator Posted April 18, 2018 1 minute ago, Kylie Jenner said: wtf even is an AAAA scheme all i know is that that's how i want my grades to look rhyme scheme where all 4 lines rhyme instead of like ABAB where the 1st rhymes with the 3rd. For example Bitch, it's King Kong, yes, I'm King Kong This is King Kong? Yes, Miss King Kong
ultraviolence.xx Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 3 minutes ago, Kylie Jenner said: wtf even is an AAAA scheme all i know is that that's how i want my grades to look they use letters to describe the rhyme. so AAAA scheme means they all rhyme; ABAB means that the As rhyme and the Bs rhyme; etc.
ultraviolence.xx Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 1 minute ago, Tsareena said: rhyme scheme where all 4 lines rhyme instead of like ABAB where the 1st rhymes with the 3rd. For example Bitch, it's King Kong, yes, I'm King Kong This is King Kong? Yes, Miss King Kong stan
touya kinomoto Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 (edited) I want see someone pull off an ABCABC rhyme scheme soon. Lemme try that again. Edited April 18, 2018 by KatyCatPH
Hug Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 @Kylie Jenner I want to let you know that for your first attempt at writing a song, coupled with it being rap (it's a lot harder than most people give it credit for), you did very well! I've seen worse rap entries (hell, I've wrote worse rap entries) and what you submitted tells me that you have a knack for it. Don't be discouraged <3 I wanted to tell you this sooner, but my dog was whining for me to let her out!
Kylie Jenner Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 2 minutes ago, Tsareena said: rhyme scheme where all 4 lines rhyme instead of like ABAB where the 1st rhymes with the 3rd. For example Bitch, it's King Kong, yes, I'm King Kong This is King Kong? Yes, Miss King Kong you should've submitted this, it snapped
Kylie Jenner Posted April 18, 2018 Posted April 18, 2018 2 minutes ago, Hug said: @Kylie Jenner I want to let you know that for your first attempt at writing a song, coupled with it being rap (it's a lot harder than most people give it credit for), you did very well! I've seen worse rap entries (hell, I've wrote worse rap entries) and what you submitted tells me that you have a knack for it. Don't be discouraged <3 I wanted to tell you this sooner, but my dog was whining for me to let her out! thank you baby i've always wanted to write a full rap and i'm proud that i managed to do it! just need to improve me thinks x
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