Citrus Posted July 3, 2018 Posted July 3, 2018 1 hour ago, Aurora said: o it’s actually 5 just you and minho to go We love the work ethic of previous winners
SaintWest Posted July 4, 2018 Posted July 4, 2018 @Kylie Jenner– “Because of You” I can see where you were going with this, but I think it fell a little flat for me. I think it’s flow and structure felt a little too choppy and inconsistent and points to really build up a strong rhythm. Also, lines like “Ebony eyes / When you cry I play the smallest violin” didn’t land as well as I imagine you had intended. Kelly Clarkson remains unshook. However, I did like “Mountain rise from the dust / Gold loses its glitter and turns to dust.” Very nice imagery. @Gastrodonatella - “Starlight on the Ocean Floor” From the title I was sold alone. This and Temporal’s October Blue are the standouts for me this season. The length itself had me briefly worried, but you really pulled through with a beautiful song that was captivating from start to finish. “I watch the sunset dye the sky a whirlpool of hues / Until the tones are washed out by the rising of the moon.” You might as well rename the song stunning because that’s exactly what it is. @UFO – “Oblivion” You kind of had me shaken with, “Like finding a pavement with no cracks or marks.” I love clever little moments like this. It definitely is refreshing to see. The repetition of, “In oblivion,” didn’t do much for me in the chorus. I think the whole chorus itself was a bit of a letdown. I think the “human,” “mutant,” rhyme was…a choice. I think the lack of rhyming in the second half of each verse pulled me out of it. Each verse started off really well, but the lack of the first two lines in the second half not rhyming pulled me out of it. Still, great job. I love seeing you succeed. But really, the end chorus was….not the tea. @Achilles.– “Temple (Burning Up”) Burning Up by the Jonas Brothers will see you in court. “Contrapposto” is a word I suggest you NEVER use again. I thought it said constipated and had to read it five times before my brain realized that it wasn’t that. The overall concept has been done to death on PH and in the pop world, so I suggest in the future straying away from tired themes like this, or repetition and structures you’d normally see in pop songs. I think the chorus would’ve made a cute pop song, but in PH, and especially this far into the game, I think lines like, “You’re smokin’ hot,” should take a seat in the back. A tad bit too corny (for my liking, at least.) @ceremonials – “Shadow of the Colossus” Short and sweet. It’s not the best I’ve seen from you, but it’s definitely my favorite entry of yours this season. My only complaint is I wish there were more; I felt it fell on the simpler side as opposed to something that could show off your talents more adequately. @Citrus – “Sulta” “Cobalt tinted inkwells spilling, splashing,” was a mouthful of mouthfuls. My brain got confused and even saying it outloud was still a jumble. Besides that, the verses knocked; loving that concept. Wasn’t too big of a fan of the word, “Flits,” in the pre-chorus – felt a little too ditsy for me. “Toffee drizzled dunes betwixt an ancient ocean floor” was a lot better. The first two lines of the Bridge were really special. Well done! @minho – “Tonight / Skeleton Flower” I don’t think this song necessarily introduced anything that felt fresh or original. I think you stuck with a very basic concept and in turn, the lyrics felt a little stale for me. Don’t be too discouraged, however, because I know you’re capable of something a lot more exciting. But this week just wasn’t your week (for me at least).
ceremonials Posted July 4, 2018 Posted July 4, 2018 oh wow, stan. It definitely served unfinished a but. Maybe another verse or a bridge would've helped.
ATRL Moderator khalyan Posted July 4, 2018 ATRL Moderator Posted July 4, 2018 I am going through my old imgur and realized how much I missed this game
Galah Posted July 5, 2018 Author Posted July 5, 2018 7 hours ago, jpow said: I am going through my old imgur and realized how much I missed this game I'd say return next season but your taste in the Katy Perry discog rate left much to be desired.
ATRL Moderator khalyan Posted July 5, 2018 ATRL Moderator Posted July 5, 2018 4 hours ago, Gastrodonatella said: return next season 14 minutes ago, Aurora said: I'd say return next season but your taste in the Katy Perry discog rate left much to be desired. f bye. I didn’t lie about my 10s at least
Galah Posted July 5, 2018 Author Posted July 5, 2018 1. @Kylie Jenner – “εξαιτίας σου” / “Because of You” Ancient: The Statue of Zeus at Olympia, Greece Natural: Parícutin Looks like I’m going to be the contrarian of the panel this week, because I really enjoyed this and thought it was one of your stronger entries. Despite being last to choose your wonders (essentially being left with the scraps) you made a song that married religious and fire imagery perfectly and still felt like a proper song. Granted, perhaps there were one too many clichés, but in moderation these can be okay and definitely worked well within the context of your song. One thing we can always rely on is for you to really analyse the challenge and ensure you nail the brief, which is yet again what you’ve done here, even excelling with both of the star challenges, so overall I’m very impressed. I didn’t like the “moans” lyric in the bridge, but that was the only lyric I had a major issue with. I’m a big fan of internal rhyming and tight meter and the attention to detail you’ve displayed in both of these areas is fantastic. “You had stole the wind from my wings / Because the meanest creatures are kings” was a standout lyric for me because you followed up the ‘wind from my wings’ cliché with an unexpected and brilliant one-liner. Good luck on making it through to next episode and the Top 5. 2. @Gastrodonatella – “Starlight on the Ocean Floor” Ancient: The Lighthouse at Alexandria, Egypt Natural: Great Barrier Reef First impressions, a match made in heaven as far as your wonders choices, and what a brilliant song title. You’ve already had a couple of rave reviews and I was ready to give you another one but if I did that I would be being dishonest to myself, and more importantly, to you. I didn’t dislike this by any stretch of the imagination and there were plenty of moments that reminded me of your classic style you’ve been straying from in the past few weeks (which is good to experiment), your imagery is on point, your meter is pretty good for the most part and it definitely feels inspired by the Great Barrier Reef. I also recognise that this is another personal song and it’s probably my favourite of the ones you’ve submitted this season thus far actually. The main critique I have would be the structure, the way this song is structured definitely feels far too much like a poem to be anything more than a spoken interlude. This may be an annoying criticism for you considering the song was purposely structured like this to convey stages of grief but I still strongly believe this would be a better finished product overall with some structural changes, a small refrain, no prologue/epilogue (the biggest non-song indicator to me) while still retaining that progression you set out to achieve. Additionally, while your meter was pretty good throughout, there were a few moments where it wasn’t just off, but it was really off. There seemed to be a lot of repeated and recycled ideas or lyrics, specific words or rhymes used multiple times throughout the song which actually helped create a sense of stillness rather than the progression, and emphasised that there could have been more work done here to tighten everything up. I also didn’t get much of the Lighthouse inspiration besides one lyric about a light overhead. Good luck on making it through to next episode and the Top 5. 3. @UFO – “Oblivion” Ancient: The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus Natural: Harbor of Rio de Janeiro The inspiration you derived from your wonders was great and you were able to use these things to form a rather unique concept I’m not sure has been written about before in PH, which is always lovely to see. I think this song was better on a re-read because knowing what the song is about from the beginning brings clarity to some of the more ambiguous lyrics and actually makes them a whole lot better. Small nitpick, but “into oblivion” would sound much better in your chorus. There were a few choice rhymes (dark/marks, human/mutant, all of the rhymes in the bridge actually) which kind of brought the song down a bit for me, but a strong and unique core concept will do wonders (pun intended) for you. For me, this was good, but not great like last episode’s “Gaia”, and needed more attention to the rhyming, and more standout lyrics. The chorus also should have been stronger. With all of these criticisms in mind, I’d still prefer something like this with a really strong concept that you’ve stuck to throughout than a massive scripture with three verses, two bridges and a middle 8 with 10 different competing ideas. Less can be more, you just need to make sure the less is as close to perfect as possible. Good luck on making it through to next episode and the Top 5. 4. @Achilles. – “Temple (Burning Up)” Ancient: The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus Natural: Northern Lights Bonus points for choosing my favourite natural wonder (if you couldn’t tell by my username). The title is a little messy, but we don’t judge books by their covers so I’m ready. You snapping with the usage of “contrapposto” already, okay, yes. This was a cute sex bop and ultimately had some good metaphors but also had some average ones and even some below average ones. I think your interpretation of the wonders (specifically the temple) made sense and I can see how the title ties into it from that perspective. Your chorus was probably 50/50 for me. I loved the play on “My body is a temple” and how you followed it up with the next lyric, but the “smokin’ hot” and “nothin’ remains” lyrics were subpar, especially at this stage of the tournament. Realistically, I feel like this song would have been a moderate Top 15 hit early on in the tournament, but we’re at the Top 7 aiming for the Top 5, so is a Top 15-level song enough at this stage? That is the question one must ask themselves. I think you would have been better off focussing on the Northern Lights aspect and finding a way to incorporate the Temple, perhaps with themes of awe-inspiring beauty/marvelling rather than a religion/fire-fuelled sex song not too dissimilar to those we’ve seen many times in the past. Good luck on making it through to next episode and the Top 5. 5. @ceremonials – “Shadow of the Colossus” Ancient: The Colossus of Rhodes Natural: The Grand Canyon When conceptualising this challenge, these two wonders were probably the ones I’d least like to have if I were a contestant, so I was very surprised (and intrigued) when you selected them both. I’ve noticed you have a thing for beginning verses with an “I’ve” motif, which is kind of a signature move of yours, but it always works. “Goddess/Colossus” was a great rhyme and I’m glad you utilised that as the pinnacle of your song. I think I gave you a similar critique earlier in the season but to me this song felt incomplete, perhaps it was just a timing issue and had you had another day it would be stronger, but it’s just missing something for me. But, judging what is here, I quite like it overall. The Grand Canyon influence was minimal but present, the rhymes and meter were good and the concept and themes were nice and executed fairly well. This was somewhere above average for me, not your best and not your worst, and hopefully if you’re here next episode you’ll be able to show how much difference an extra day of improvement can make. Good luck on making it through to next episode and the Top 5. 6. @Citrus – “Sulta” Ancient: The Great Pyramid at Giza, Egypt Natural: Mount Everest Bonus points for choosing my favourite ancient wonder (if you couldn’t tell by my Temporal collab in DH). But whoa, I’m living for how different this is for you? You’ve always excelled in your own way but this highly-visual style of writing really works for this song and for someone who doesn’t do it very often (at least from what I’ve seen this season) you’ve very good at it. It does invite comparisons to others who have been using imagery-driven styles for most of this season, but I still think it stands tall on its own. I’m also glad that you’re continuing to experiment with structures i.e. the inclusion of pre-choruses which you don’t normally incorporate, despite your experience in this tournament. That said, there were some images that worked better than others; the “cobalt inkwells” lyric was juuust on the cusp of being too much, but the “toffee drizzled dunes” was past that point for me. I think it’s important for imagery like this to still belong in the setting of the song, and for me inkwells and toffee just don’t belong in the desert. “Betwixt” was also serving Moonchild – in fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d say this song was ghostwritten by him. Overall this was lovely, and I commend the branching out and experimentation with different styles. Good luck on making it through to next episode and the Top 5. 7. @minho – “Tonight / Skeleton Flower (산하엽)” Ancient: The Hanging Gardens of Babylon Natural: Victoria Falls I love this title, hoping we’re in for another “Play of Colour – Platonic Love” moment. I also love the Hanging Gardens, probably my second favourite ancient wonder. “I like it when i’m alone / Wonder if i always will” why did this lyric punch me right in the feels? Relatable af. “The garden is dead” the bluntness. OKAY, a two part entry. Let’s go. This was a pretty complex entry despite the simplicity it emits. Rain seems to be a common theme in your songs this season, I’m not sure if that’s intended or just what is inspiring you at the moment, but this was probably one of your better songs with a rain theme, which obviously accompanied your wonders quite well. There’s also an essence of sadness you’ve captured with this song which is really subtle but definitely present. The smallest amount of hope being washed away. Tragically beautiful. This isn’t “Day One” or “Sentimental” levels of perfection, but it definitely has a place among the top tier of your discography. Good luck on making it through to next episode and the Top 5.
ceremonials Posted July 5, 2018 Posted July 5, 2018 i definitely thought this was my worst. Some of the judges saying it could've been my best But maybe if I finished it it would have been, who knows
ceremonials Posted July 5, 2018 Posted July 5, 2018 Track # Name Peak Sales 01. "Breath of the Wild" #4 7.477m 02. "The Last of Us" #4 8.453m 03. "Odyssey" #8 7.550m 04. "Phantom Pain" #10 6.926m 05. "Symphony of the Night" #6 7.890m 06 "Goldenrod" #3 7.700m 07 "Silent Hills" #3 7.865m 08. "Shadow of the Colossus" TBA TBA
Galah Posted July 5, 2018 Author Posted July 5, 2018 2 hours ago, Gastrodonatella said: a trend emerges I mean Karli ranked Citrus #5 last round and he still came out on top so I really don’t think you have anything to worry about moving forward given the reviews so far. Will we have another Eden moment? Only time will tell.
Galah Posted July 5, 2018 Author Posted July 5, 2018 4 hours ago, Gastrodonatella said: it's about the unnecessary snide comments that you've made for the past three rounds towards me. the announcement of somebody's placement is not the time for you to be shady and say (somehow) and make veiled comments about the judgement of the people on your own panel. also, if another contestant had gotten 5th last week, you wouldn't have reminded them that 5th isn't always going to cut it. i wasn't even in danger of being eliminated. furthermore, you also could've very easily done my review this week without including the part about how you wanted to give it a rave review but that would be a lie. you don't have to like my entries every week or give me #1s/10s but you know exactly what you're doing so don't act like you don't My bad, they weren't to be taken as snide comments but as playful quips to encourage you to pick it up since for me (and others given your ranks/scores thus far) your entries in the first part of this season were consistently better than your most recent offerings. I've been on the receiving end of similar (and in some cases, the exact same) remarks and it did help me pick it up, but it's fine if that's not the case for you, and I won't make any more comments like that, but they weren't coming from a negative place actually. I definitely would have made a similar comment towards someone else if the same applied to them (i.e. being #5 three weeks in a row is a very specific thing), but everyone's had vastly different chart trajectories so it just hasn't happened. The comment about wanting to give it a rave review was kinda a direct continuation of what was said after I commented on liking the song title when you submitted on Discord, and after seeing the positive comments, I was ready (it's happened before where I've seen songs get rave reviews before reading them and agreed entirely upon reading the entry) but we're all different people with different pet peeves and look for different things and so it wasn't as amazing to me as it was to others, and that's all I meant by that, but you're right I guess, I didn't need to reveal that at all since it stemmed from conversations that were had in private. *** Going to re-read all of the entries and score them now since I'm honestly finding it quite hard to split them.
UFO Posted July 5, 2018 Posted July 5, 2018 ffffffffffffffffffffffff I got wayyyy too carried away with the final chorus, but at least it's kind of cute...................... it kind of represents how the person is falling forever in oblivion, so art? but yes nnnnnnnnnn I definitely overdid it sometimes I just add extra fluff because I feel like it's never good enough and I'd rather serve more than less BUT I am gradually overcumming this, especially with the length and being too wordy. Gaia and Oblivion are like my two skinniest songs ever so I'm so proud and thankful to all of your feedback for helping to bring that restraint out of me an Legend X - Say Something tea. @SaintWest yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss stan! for “Like finding a pavement with no cracks or marks.” when I wrote that.............. I GASPED sdk;gjdslkgjd I was like..... wait a min, what kind of gag-worthy lyric. Thank you!!!!!!! I love those who love to see me suck-seed @Corsola ohhhhh sis you K N O W I always bring the receipts, sources, references, credits, eye-witness testimonies I am not leaving this courtroom guilty beyond a REASONABLE DOUBT "perils of urbanisation" WILL be accounted for seriousness aside, YES WE LOVE SOCIAL COMMENTARY and it was totally organic too which makes it better. very art. omgggggggggggggggggggggg thank you for picking up on my improved meter DDDD I actually made an EFFORT to make sure it was tight as possible this week, so I'm glad I did it! even though I'm not a goddess of technicality. but I can if you like @Aurora yay I'm glad you love my concept - I really didn't want to do a re-do of my past songs (ESPECIALLY just after Gaia), or really fall into the trap of squeezing out a water song (especially since I've done water a lot this season)! I always try to tackle things from a different angle, for example I could've totally picked Mausoleum and the volcano combo but I wanted to challenge myself a little more with something that I am passionate about - in this case, the structure of society which is a theme I have yet to tackle this season. whew!!!!! I'm so glad I wrote an explanation dslkgjdflkg thanks everyone your feedback truly does help me out and I take it alllll into consideration in order to improve myself as a writer and I'm very proud of the exponential growth that I've accomplished thus far
UFO Posted July 5, 2018 Posted July 5, 2018 outsourcing a concept to @MattyTacos, sis we need you to quickly come back and write a song
UFO Posted July 5, 2018 Posted July 5, 2018 Am I Jeffrey Dahmer? because I MURDERED this challenge. I ate that !!!!!! you wanted a volcano song? LOL you wanted a water song? HAHAHAHAHA let me give you a city song and you will D E A L. Harbor of Rio de Janeiro, I choose you! but seriously tho, these hints are confusing me sdklgfsdkl am I the kool-aid man? i have no ****ing clue
MattyTacos Posted July 5, 2018 Posted July 5, 2018 2 hours ago, UFO said: outsourcing a concept to @MattyTacos, sis we need you to quickly come back and write a song Are you trying to seduce me with this picture of Jeffrey Dahmer cuz he can eat me up. but mess what do you mean, suddenly I'm bad at reading
Citrus Posted July 6, 2018 Posted July 6, 2018 On 7/5/2018 at 4:24 PM, Aurora said: Hints (ranking) Bish whay
Galah Posted July 7, 2018 Author Posted July 7, 2018 7 hours ago, Citrus said: Bish whay Hint: the pics correspond to the order of submission
Galah Posted July 7, 2018 Author Posted July 7, 2018 Final sales figures have been received and results have now been tabulated.
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