Galah Posted April 20, 2018 Author Posted April 20, 2018 Stream Let Me Love You for a +500,000 sale bonus on your song this week!
ceremonials Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 Omg Let Me Love You might be the most generic song title ever
Galah Posted April 20, 2018 Author Posted April 20, 2018 9 minutes ago, ceremonials said: Omg Let Me Love You might be the most generic song title ever Human
Galah Posted April 20, 2018 Author Posted April 20, 2018 10/14 reviews done for the remaining submissions. I have to go to work now but I'll try and get the other four done on my break and then submit them shortly after I get home. So probably in around 8 hours.
Speezy Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 3 minutes ago, Aurora said: 10/14 reviews done for the remaining submissions. I have to go to work now but I'll try and get the other four done on my break and then submit them shortly after I get home. So probably in around 8 hours. #NoFoodLeftToEat
RihsusChrist(ATG) Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 Thanks for the constructive feedback @Aurora Much appreciated.
touya kinomoto Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 Thanks for the feedback Sam. Greatly appreciated. I promise next round (if I make it then) I'll be more original.
Lukey Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 8 hours ago, Aurora said: Stream Let Me Love You for a +500,000 sale bonus on your song this week! I am glad you posted the best song on the album
Hug Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 Spoiler @Lucky#17: I want to say that you have some ideas here that I really enjoy. Staying up all night with someone you love and the sun only coming out AFTER you sleep because the sun is jealous? Concept! There are times where I think the concept got dragged down by execution, and the chorus is a BIG example of it. The “Ooh” and “A-ooh” parts have lack lyrical substance compared to the other parts of the song, and since we can’t hear what you do, it’s just filler to us. The “punctual” / “factual” rhymes also seemed as if they were forced just a bit, like you struggled to think of what to put there and came up with something ~good enough. Even if that wasn’t how it went, it’s how it comes across as. My point is that it could’ve been done better. The swearing, tonically, feels out of place, but truthfully it’s a minor, if not subjective, thing. I found that the best parts in your song are the pre-choruses, they best express your message in the song, and it does so in a creative way. It makes it quite enjoyable. The verses are...okay, but they leave something to be desired. The chorus, which I believe should be the strong-point of a song in most cases, is where I think the most improvement could be done. It’s lyrically weaker than the other parts and doesn’t have anything creative or interesting to make up for it. Oh, and if you have a spoken part of the song, just label it spoken. We’re going to assume everything else will be sung unless it’s stated as a rap or spoken word piece. Really not a big deal. (more just a tip than actual advice.) Speaking of that bridge, though, I find it interesting that you, in a way, break the fourth wall, since you say you could list metaphors about storms forever, but this is flat-out how I feel about you, and while I appreciate the novelty of it (I’ve never really seen that in an entry, if we’re being honest), the tone feels weird, since it really only matches the chorus. The verses and pre-chorus seem to be closer to a more imagery-heavy style, which clashes with the conversational tone the chorus and bridge have. The tonal shifts make this feel a bit all over the place. Once again, I cba to add this to my OP.
Galah Posted April 20, 2018 Author Posted April 20, 2018 Just a word of warning, because I'm sure some of y'all will be tempted to do it given PH seasons' past. Please don't draw inspiration from No Tears Left To Cry during the next challenge unless you want to have your song shipped back from Oceania.
swiftie13 Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 (edited) I have 28/30 reviews done, but I have to go to work in ten minutes. Results will be at 5:30 PM as of now unless otherwise stated. All the reviews should be posted by then. Get your life! Edit: I have them all done but a bitch is gonna bring it with the presentation... so my reviews should be coming around 4:30 PM EST ish~ Edited April 20, 2018 by swiftie13
ultraviolence.xx Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 sorry my reviews are so late :( family deciding to have multiple crises this week. yikes
swiftie13 Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 3 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: sorry my reviews are so late :( family deciding to have multiple crises this week. yikes Relatable. It’s okay, no pressure. Family is more important. We all know Europe runs on its own time, anyway.
swiftie13 Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 3 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: sorry my reviews are so late :( family deciding to have multiple crises this week. yikes Relatable. It’s okay, no pressure. Family is more important. We all know Europe runs on its own time, anyway.
swiftie13 Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 3 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: sorry my reviews are so late :( family deciding to have multiple crises this week. yikes Relatable. It’s okay, no pressure. Family is more important. We all know Europe runs on its own time, anyway.
touya kinomoto Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 11 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: sorry my reviews are so late :( family deciding to have multiple crises this week. yikes No worries. Family comes first. Sending a power hug your way.
conatus Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 15 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: sorry my reviews are so late :( family deciding to have multiple crises this week. yikes Sending you love
Hug Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 Spoiler @Xedretinz Lododnz: Generally, I feel as if this was maybe uninspired. The topic has been done before, the themes have been done before, and it feels familiar all around. I think finding more interesting topics or a different way of presenting familiar ideas would be a good place to start. There were quite a few instances where you ended lines with the same words and ultimately gave us nothing new in those lines. I think reaffirming points, particularly if they’re important to the song, can be good, but it got to be a bit much, If you can take out multiple lines an still get the same effect from the story, you should consider rewriting some so we get a better idea of what the people involved are like. I have no idea what caused the divide in these two people’s relationship, and I should have one by the end. The rhymes that were in the song weren’t particularly interesting (fire/desire being a big one). Interested/addicted was the best rhyme I felt you had, though the addicted line was phrased oddly. (Something along the lines of “Now I’m no longer addicted” would sound better.) The “Baby” and “Honey” at the end didn’t really add anything except meter, but since both lines have them, you could omit them and it’d generally be the same. It didn’t really seem like you were against rhyming lines with the same words, and interested/addicted would still be there, so it wouldn’t really be a bad thing. @SeanKevinMusic: It’s not a particularly innovative topic for a song, and nothing is really presented in an interesting way. While it’s not really bad, it does leave a lot to desire, as far as lyrical content goes. last reviews
Hug Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 1 minute ago, Gastrodonatella said: more like last review when i tell you i choked on hot tea and ended up spilling it on myself and had to have my mom call 911 because i have myself 3rd degree burns on my hands and i'm typing this while waiting for them to hurry tf up and that every letter i type is an agonizing pain but i have to type this just to tell you you're the most hysterical bitch i've ever met in my life...
Hug Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 Just now, Corsola said: Guess whose mom is in the hospital and could die? ME. ME. So let's not go there. Guess whose cousin shot himself? ME. Guess whose aunt died from cancer? ME. Guess whose uncle passed away from cancer a couple of years ago? ME. SO if we wanna go there and play a sympathy card, we can. Guess whose grandma might not freakin remember her when we get out? ME.
Speezy Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, swiftie13 said: Round Two will be posted on page 100 Serving food channel chef going through a whole 1 hr explaining how to cook a meal just to put it in the oven for 5 minutes and pull back out and the meal is fully cooked
Citrus Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 On April 17, 2018 at 8:21 PM, Gastrodonatella said: good things about PH11 -Aurora deserved a win -the new players are icons -everything i did post round 1 Aurora really did that all season! And I'm glad we finally had a rap round, even if nobody really had fun. On April 18, 2018 at 4:09 PM, Corsola said: Persephone was career defining and wig incarcerating. I will NEVER get over it being only #5 (partially due to some riggamoris bs tbh) when everyone knows it should've been top 2 On April 18, 2018 at 4:16 PM, Corsola said: If you're going to give a 5 to a masterpiece like Persephone, at LEAST explain why rather than dodging doing your review for it and ignoring even a fellow judge who asks you why you would sabotage it like that. Oh was this me? I don't recall
Citrus Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 16 minutes ago, Corsola said: Guess whose mom is in the hospital and could die? ME. ME. So let's not go there. Guess whose cousin shot himself? ME. Guess whose aunt died from cancer? ME. Guess whose uncle passed away from cancer a couple of years ago? ME. SO if we wanna go there and play a sympathy card, we can. Guess whose grandma might not freakin remember her when we get out? ME. All you had to was add two rhymes to this and you would've gotten 10s all season from me
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