ultraviolence.xx Posted September 11, 2017 Posted September 11, 2017 14 minutes ago, Hug said: In other news, I decided I like Camila's "OMG". I legit think I'd like any song that sounds like white girl rap stan for the better of the two singles
MattyTacos Posted September 11, 2017 Posted September 11, 2017 20 hours ago, ceremonials said: also @MattyTacos, "Nature's Playgirl" Okay, so I got some Florence vibes from this, for sure. I don't know if I could really see her singing this, but I do think the similarities in style were there, if not somewhat muddled. Speaking of muddled, this seemed like a big change in word choice for you - you're usually much more of a simple but effective writer, and this seemed like you kicked it up a couple notches. A few too many perhaps, since a few things get lost in translation. Let's take "repent" for example. It sure fits the tone of the song with its religious undertones, but when reading the line it's in it's clear you meant "resent". I also think the bridge is a sort of rough area. It just didn't really add enough to the song to justify it being there, as I think the song was long enough without it. Still, there are some amazing couplets and flashes of genius in this as always, and this was definitely my favorite entry from you so far. I kinda thought I was taking a more simple approach to the song after coming off that essay last week, screaming ddd, I actually meant repent, I shedded the warmth in my heart to regret the long list of boys who could never man up & be the right match for me. But, resent probably could've worked as well. I can definitely see what you mean about the bridge though. Thanks for reviewing this, I'm grateful
poki Posted September 11, 2017 Posted September 11, 2017 A certain culture is about to get appropriated in my song. Mina saiko alligator is shaking.
Glassmouth Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 Mhmm, I'll see what I do for this round, but honestly since I'm going home next round I will probably just do a song that means a lot to me and I won't try to please the judges cause that gives me songs like Unicorn Blood
touya kinomoto Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 So here is my entry for last week. I just wanted to post it here though no one asked. Spoiler LONDON'S CALLING [VERSE 1] Can you hear it The hustle and bustle of the Square Mile? The upbeat cadence of the Old Smoke It's calling you It's amazing The organized chaos of traffic jams The silent grandeur of the Buckingham It's calling you [PRE-CHORUS] Listen carefully To the soundtrack of this centuries-old city Listen to the beat To the beat of the urban orchestra's symphony [CHORUS] London's calling Answer before the gates are closed Build your castle Where the tolls of the Big Ben roar Build an empire Where the sun once never set Because London's calling London's calling London's calling London's calling and she's waiting for you [VERSE 2] Oh how lovely The city life playing in allegro It's a groovy harmonious tempo And it's calling you [PRE-CHORUS] Listen carefully To the soundtrack of this centuries-old city Listen to the beat To the beat of the urban orchestra's symphony [CHORUS] London's calling Answer before the gates are closed Build your castle Where the tolls of the Big Ben roar Build an empire Where the sun once never set Because London's calling London's calling London's calling London's calling and she's waiting for you [BRIDGE] London's calling (heed her call) London's waiting (for you) London's calling (heed her call) Oh London's waiting, she's waiting, she's waiting for you [CHORUS] London's calling Answer before the gates are closed Build your castle Where the tolls of the Big Ben roar Build an empire Where the sun once never set Because London's calling London's calling London's calling London's calling and she's waiting for you
ultraviolence.xx Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 this is the first time i haven't had a draft within 24 hours
MattyTacos Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 19 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: this is the first time i haven't had a draft within 24 hours sucks now read mine
MattyTacos Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 36 minutes ago, KatyCatPH said: So here is my entry for last week. I just wanted to post it here though no one asked. Hide contents LONDON'S CALLING [VERSE 1] Can you hear it The hustle and bustle of the Square Mile? The upbeat cadence of the Old Smoke It's calling you It's amazing The organized chaos of traffic jams The silent grandeur of the Buckingham It's calling you [PRE-CHORUS] Listen carefully To the soundtrack of this centuries-old city Listen to the beat To the beat of the urban orchestra's symphony [CHORUS] London's calling Answer before the gates are closed Build your castle Where the tolls of the Big Ben roar Build an empire Where the sun once never set Because London's calling London's calling London's calling London's calling and she's waiting for you [VERSE 2] Oh how lovely The city life playing in allegro It's a groovy harmonious tempo And it's calling you [PRE-CHORUS] Listen carefully To the soundtrack of this centuries-old city Listen to the beat To the beat of the urban orchestra's symphony [CHORUS] London's calling Answer before the gates are closed Build your castle Where the tolls of the Big Ben roar Build an empire Where the sun once never set Because London's calling London's calling London's calling London's calling and she's waiting for you [BRIDGE] London's calling (heed her call) London's waiting (for you) London's calling (heed her call) Oh London's waiting, she's waiting, she's waiting for you [CHORUS] London's calling Answer before the gates are closed Build your castle Where the tolls of the Big Ben roar Build an empire Where the sun once never set Because London's calling London's calling London's calling London's calling and she's waiting for you woo what kind of slayage is that chorus
Glassmouth Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 i have a draft, this is definitely going to be Anthony 2.0.
ultraviolence.xx Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 23 minutes ago, MattyTacos said: sucks now read mine OH YEAH i opened it and then my car had an issue so i forgot to read it lmao lemme do that now
smholiv Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 finished my song whew just going to sit on it for a bit i name-dropped the song in my avi was inspired
ATRL Moderator feelslikeadream Posted September 12, 2017 ATRL Moderator Posted September 12, 2017 Can someone link me to Citrus's round 3 reviews? I like seeing the "favorite couplet" or whatever.
Aurora Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 6 minutes ago, feelslikeadream said: Can someone link me to Citrus's round 3 reviews? I like seeing the "favorite couplet" or whatever. He said they'd be done by around 7-8pm EST which I think is like 5 hours ago according to Google so idk if they're coming? OT: Home from work a couple hours earlier than usual today, might be able to start on my song with more than 24 hours before the deadline this week!
ceremonials Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 15 minutes ago, feelslikeadream said: Can someone link me to Citrus's round 3 reviews? I like seeing the "favorite couplet" or whatever. bitch im the one who does those. i havent for the lost round, tho. (unless he did it too I can't find her reviews either )
smholiv Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 really feel like my strong suits are fully kpop songs, i don't think i could do the more story-oriented indie or folk styles
ATRL Moderator feelslikeadream Posted September 12, 2017 ATRL Moderator Posted September 12, 2017 38 minutes ago, ceremonials said: bitch im the one who does those. i havent for the lost round, tho. (unless he did it too I can't find her reviews either ) Oops, I was thinking it might have been someone else Can you go back and add them please? I like seeing them
ceremonials Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 2 minutes ago, feelslikeadream said: Oops, I was thinking it might have been someone else Can you go back and add them please? I like seeing them Yes i will tomorrow
Aurora Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 OK, I feel like I have a solid concept and a good opening. Hopefully I can get some kind of draft mapped out tonight. may or may not have hidden a little clue as to what birthstone I've selected somewhere…
Aurora Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 29 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said: opal This May be right, but is it?
Aurora Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 1 minute ago, Gastrodonatella said: the only reason it wouldn't be right is because u changed ur gem to be a contrarian I was never locked in to a certain gem until today, though. I just said I was an Opal girl because, well, I am.
Aurora Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 10 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said: so you admit you can't pick one and stick with it That's exactly what I did tho. Today was my research and development day to take a more in-depth look into each birthstone rather than just thinking "zomg totez doing OPAL coz itz MIEN :DD". I will not confirm nor deny whether or not I ended up selecting Opal but it was in my Top 3. The birthstone I've decided upon aligns up perfectly with the concept I developed as soon as I saw the challenge, though~
Hug Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 The way the title I used for this round also happens to be the title of a book. Whew I STAY plagiarizing, I guess!
ATRL Moderator feelslikeadream Posted September 12, 2017 ATRL Moderator Posted September 12, 2017 7 minutes ago, Hug said: The way the title I used for this round also happens to be the title of a book. Whew I STAY plagiarizing, I guess! Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone coming to snatch that #2 spot
touya kinomoto Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 11 hours ago, MattyTacos said: woo what kind of slayage is that chorus Thank you! @ceremonials said that the chorus was the best part of my R1 entry so I think (?) that's where I excel at. Hopefully I can translate that "excellence" to the verses too. Speaking of which, I have yet to right a verse (or a single word) for my entry this week.
poki Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 (edited) I got a concept for my song. Do I actually need to name drop the stone I chose,or just make sure it connects to its associations? I hope not nnn that would feel tacky IMO. Edited September 12, 2017 by PoKiTaurus
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