so my first date is happening this tuesday..

[Souvenir]

Spoiler

I have a date on Tuesday, and the person I'm meeting is super sweet and much more attractive than me. While I don't think I'm unattractive, I'm worried they might see me as not good enough.(it feels like im benny blanco and he's selena gomez)  This has been making me a bit nervous, even though I'm on antidepressants. Has anyone ever experienced something like this before? How did you handle it?

 

I told him that even if he didn't like me romantically, I'd still want to stay friends, and he kept telling me not to say things like that. he said he liked me and wanted to get to know me better.

 

[Uncatena]

I can relate to this. I am not conventionally attractive so when conventionally attractive people find me attractive, I feel like they are playing with me OR that I am projecting a false image of myself. but if he is a decent person, which it seems like he is if you say he is super sweet and him wanting to get to know you, he wouldn't go as far as going out on a date with you. you ARE good enough and should feel good about it, go into it confident and be open and yourself. have fun!!

[Smarticle]

Prep your hole

[toast]

Relax sis, you have to let things develop naturally. Just be yourself and let things fall into place either romantically or platonically

[Spicy Pisces]

Look at the positives:

- He agreed to go out with you.

- He said he likes you and wants to get to know you better.

- You are good enough, you will be okay regardless.

 

He's definitely curious and sees something in you that he likes. Allow things to unfold naturally.

[glitch]

You've got to remember that everyone's idea of what's attractive is different. All it sounds like to me is you're not your own type, but you may well be his type.

 

The most important thing when dating is to focus on whether you like the other person and find them attractive. Don't worry about what he thinks of you, you can't control that. Ask him questions, get to know him better and just enjoy yourself. Physical appearance is only part of the equation. We all have much more to offer than our outward appearances. 

[50thStateofMind]

be yourself and donʻt count yourself out before the date happens

[Illuminati]

Besides the obvious, that everyone finds different type of guys attractive - don't come across as too self conscious, you would be surprised how far confidence can get you. You don't have to be cocky but just don't be apologetic, have a good time and see where it goes.

Edited November 23 by Illuminati

[Thickorita]

29 minutes ago, Souvenir said:

I told him that even if he didn't like me romantically, I'd still want to stay friends, and he kept telling me not to say things like that. he said he liked me and wanted to get to know me better.

He already gave you the advice you need. He's agreed to a date because he likes you and finds you attractive. Don't project your insecurities onto your date with him, it'll only drive him away. Dooming a date before it happens is a defence mechanism, you just have to unlearn it.

 

Have a drink, relax, and whatever happens happens. Worst case scenario, it doesn't work out. On to the next one!

[crymelanie]

3 minutes ago, Thickorita said:

He already gave you the advice you need. He's agreed to a date because he likes you and finds you attractive. Don't project your insecurities onto your date with him, it'll only drive him away. Dooming a date before it happens is a defence mechanism, you just have to unlearn it.

 

Have a drink, relax, and whatever happens happens. Worst case scenario, it doesn't work out. On to the next one!

This.

[P.O.P]

That's really exciting. But sis, you have a date and you should enjoy it. If it is bound to happen, it'll happen. Try to have a good date and enjoy yourself.

[ImpressMeMuch]

use protection!

[50thStateofMind]

33 minutes ago, Thickorita said:

He already gave you the advice you need. He's agreed to a date because he likes you and finds you attractive. Don't project your insecurities onto your date with him, it'll only drive him away. Dooming a date before it happens is a defence mechanism, you just have to unlearn it.

 

Have a drink, relax, and whatever happens happens. Worst case scenario, it doesn't work out. On to the next one!

thatʻs the one

[Rotunda]

If you want this to work, you need to quiet that part of you that thinks he's out of your league immediately. Even if he likes you, you don't want that insecurity to drive him away. 
 

Have a good time, be yourself, and don't think too deeply about what's going on. One good date doesn't mean he'll be your husband and one bad date won't mean you'll be alone forever. 
 

Take things for what they are, and good luck! 

[The Next Day]

"Has anyone ever experienced something like this before?"

 

Yes, almost every single person who dates experiences this. It's totally normal. And like other people said, it's important that you show yourself in the most authentic way. Be kind and authentic to him and yourself. You want to get know his true self and he wants to know yours. That's the whole point of dating/relationships. It's normal to be nervous, but don't let it control you. You got this!

Edited November 23 by The Next Day

[sha-nasty]

You got it! Don't have imposter syndrome, if a cute guy likes you, he thinks you're cute too. Win him over with your personality anyways!

[tost1]

Babez never again say to someone 'if you don't like me we can be friends' before even going on a date.

Confidence is sexy and it doesn't have to be related to your looks. 

[Souvenir]

1 hour ago, Uncatena said:

I can relate to this. I am not conventionally attractive so when conventionally attractive people find me attractive, I feel like they are playing with me OR that I am projecting a false image of myself. but if he is a decent person, which it seems like he is if you say he is super sweet and him wanting to get to know you, he wouldn't go as far as going out on a date with you. you ARE good enough and should feel good about it, go into it confident and be open and yourself. have fun!!

 

1 hour ago, toast said:

Relax sis, you have to let things develop naturally. Just be yourself and let things fall into place either romantically or platonically

 

1 hour ago, Spicy Pisces said:

Look at the positives:

- He agreed to go out with you.

- He said he likes you and wants to get to know you better.

- You are good enough, you will be okay regardless.

 

He's definitely curious and sees something in you that he likes. Allow things to unfold naturally.

 

1 hour ago, glitch said:

You've got to remember that everyone's idea of what's attractive is different. All it sounds like to me is you're not your own type, but you may well be his type.

 

The most important thing when dating is to focus on whether you like the other person and find them attractive. Don't worry about what he thinks of you, you can't control that. Ask him questions, get to know him better and just enjoy yourself. Physical appearance is only part of the equation. We all have much more to offer than our outward appearances. 

 

1 hour ago, 50thStateofMind said:

be yourself and donʻt count yourself out before the date happens

 

1 hour ago, Illuminati said:

Besides the obvious, that everyone finds different type of guys attractive - don't come across as too self conscious, you would be surprised how far confidence can get you. You don't have to be cocky but just don't be apologetic, have a good time and see where it goes.

 

1 hour ago, Thickorita said:

He already gave you the advice you need. He's agreed to a date because he likes you and finds you attractive. Don't project your insecurities onto your date with him, it'll only drive him away. Dooming a date before it happens is a defence mechanism, you just have to unlearn it.

 

Have a drink, relax, and whatever happens happens. Worst case scenario, it doesn't work out. On to the next one!

 

44 minutes ago, P.O.P said:

That's really exciting. But sis, you have a date and you should enjoy it. If it is bound to happen, it'll happen. Try to have a good date and enjoy yourself.

 

22 minutes ago, Rotunda said:

If you want this to work, you need to quiet that part of you that thinks he's out of your league immediately. Even if he likes you, you don't want that insecurity to drive him away. 
 

Have a good time, be yourself, and don't think too deeply about what's going on. One good date doesn't mean he'll be your husband and one bad date won't mean you'll be alone forever. 
 

Take things for what they are, and good luck! 

 

16 minutes ago, The Next Day said:

"Has anyone ever experienced something like this before?"

 

Yes, almost every single person who dates experiences this. It's totally normal. And like other people said, it's important that you show yourself in the most authentic way. Be kind and authentic to him and yourself. You want to get know his true self and he wants to know yours. That's the whole point of dating/relationships. It's normal to be nervous, but don't let it control you. You got this!

Spoiler

I don't want to seem dramatic, but I've never truly been loved romantically because, ever since I discovered myself, I had issues that kept me from being with someone. I was very overweight and didn't love myself. However, now I'm at my ideal weight, I've recently started working out, and I think I look much better. There was someone I had a crush on in the past, and even though I've lost weight and feel better about myself, he rejected me. That's completely fine, but it made me feel insecure. Now, I'm slowly starting to feel good about myself again, and I don't want this confidence to be shattered, so I'm being cautious. Thank yall for your advice; you've made me feel so much better. I really appreciate you guys taking me seriously <3

 

[XXI.]

My first piece of advice: dating is never about making the other person like you. Instead of worrying about whether he likes you, focus on whether you like him... and that sense of attraction should be rooted beyond what he looks like. Does he make you laugh? Does he make you feel safe and comfortable? Is he kind? Is he knowledgable? 

 

Also, don't put too much pressure on this one date. At its core, dating is just about getting to know someone—sometimes it clicks, sometimes it doesn't. Don't go in expecting a specific outcome. Just enjoy the moment and see where it takes you. And if it doesn't work out the way you hoped, remember that your worth is never defined by someone else's ability (or inability) to see it. You have so much to offer the right person.

 

Next piece of advice: being 'hot' is all about mindset. It might sound cheesy, but try this—wear your favorite outfit, do a little self-care ritual before you meet up, or play a song that makes you feel unstoppable.

[єѕℓαм]

Don't overthink it

and just be yourself 

good luck

[Bears01]

40 minutes ago, Souvenir said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I don't want to seem dramatic, but I've never truly been loved romantically because, ever since I discovered myself, I had issues that kept me from being with someone. I was very overweight and didn't love myself. However, now I'm at my ideal weight, I've recently started working out, and I think I look much better. There was someone I had a crush on in the past, and even though I've lost weight and feel better about myself, he rejected me. That's completely fine, but it made me feel insecure. Now, I'm slowly starting to feel good about myself again, and I don't want this confidence to be shattered, so I'm being cautious. Thank yall for your advice; you've made me feel so much better. I really appreciate you guys taking me seriously <3

 

Even the hottest people out there have more than likely had a rejection or two from other people. 
 

Dont stress about the past, focus on the present! Enjoy yourself and let it all come natural 

[Sawk]

I can relate, im ugly so it hurts my dating chances, but sis, you got this, you will receive the love you want, period  

[sugarysunflower]

@Souvenir UPDATE: how did it go?

[Souvenir]

1 hour ago, sugarysunflower said:

@Souvenir UPDATE: how did it go?

aww thanks for asking  It went really well, and we're still talking right now. he is such a sweet person