Josh Posted August 31 Posted August 31 As the title says the older gay men on ATRL do you envy the gay young men who got to experience gay dating in high school?
selena_lavigne Posted August 31 Posted August 31 Dating in high school, whatever your sexual orientation is, sounds like a mess. 8 4 2
Princess Aurora Posted August 31 Posted August 31 Well, I dated in high school briefly and it wasn't as fun as it is in the movies.
makeme Posted August 31 Posted August 31 I mean even with the current climate I still would've been single in HS. The gays and the guys who have come out post graduation at my school are not my type whatsoever.
Popular Post bjorn Posted August 31 Popular Post Posted August 31 Not you thinking gay dating is like Heartstopper and Love Simon Bless your lil heart 41
glitch Posted August 31 Posted August 31 Are many gays are actually dating in school? Even if you are out, there's no guarantee you'll be compatible with the one other gay guy in your year/the few out gays in the schools nearby. I'm glad I never dated at that age because all the guys I've met who did have had nothing good to say about the experience. Basically as I said before, it usually seems to be the only two gays in the year just end up dating because they have no other options, so it's not exactly some Disney experience. 1
teenager Posted August 31 Posted August 31 I would've loved to be more open about my sexuality in school but no I don't envy them. in fact it makes my little gay heart burst with happiness to know people can be their true selves more easily 3
Rihinvention Posted August 31 Posted August 31 (edited) I don't know if "envy" is the right word. On one hand, when you see gay "promposals" your heart sinks a bit because you realise how different it was for you. But you also find it cute, appreciate how far we've come, and think, "these kids are who we've been fighting for." Also, there's no guarantee that any of us would've been 'out' anyway, even if we were 17 in 2024. I came out to friends 1 year after high school, to my siblings 2 years after high school, and to my parents 3.5 years after high school. Based on what I was like at that age, I don't think that would've changed in 2024. There will always be generations of queer people that have it "easier" than your own generation, and that includes the youth of today. But again, they're kind of who we've been fighting for. Edited August 31 by Rihinvention 2
Reginald Posted August 31 Posted August 31 (edited) As a late-millennial, I think I might be too young to qualify for this thread, but I was openly gay and dating in high school I would love to hear the opinions of any Gen X gays who might be on ATRL. Edited August 31 by Reginald
Pheromosa Posted August 31 Posted August 31 (edited) idk...with the way things are going they might have it worse than we did Edited August 31 by Pheromosa
Bosque Posted August 31 Posted August 31 (edited) Not really, I did have my first dating experience relatively young (although not in high school) so maybe that would change my mind. But as others have said, dating in high school isn't really that desirable, looking back at it when you are older. But overall, today's gay scene seems a mess and is marked not just by outside attacks (which have sadly always been there and always will be), but also petty infighting between micro communities within LGBTQ. I don't think it seems very enviable for young gays today. Edited August 31 by Bosque
Rihinvention Posted August 31 Posted August 31 (edited) If anything, I'm more envious of today's technology, which allows for information/experiences to be shared online, and meeting people online is no longer seen as "seedy" or desperate. A lot of gay people have their first kiss and engage in anal sex pretty close together. That's a pretty extreme jump. For straight people, that could be the difference between 13 and 32 (and then once they've tried it, never again, lmao) So I think technology and information-sharing could have taught me about sides, and how to communicate what I wanted sexually, a lot earlier (which during those first few years, is quite daunting) Edited August 31 by Rihinvention 1
Dragonfly Posted August 31 Posted August 31 I was out in high school The only problem... no one else was
getBusy Posted August 31 Posted August 31 I envy them because people understand sexuality better these days, so coming out is "easier" from that perspective. But i was a mess in high school so the last thing i needed was dating. Also I legit don't think anyone from my year came out as gay. 1
Curaga Posted August 31 Posted August 31 I had a boyfriend junior and senior years in high school, so I'm not envious of that, but I am envious that they will get to listen to new music I'll miss out on after I'm dead
liquiddiamonds Posted August 31 Posted August 31 1 hour ago, bjorn said: Not you thinking gay dating is like Heartstopper and Love Simon Bless your lil heart reality: revenge porn, closeted boyfriends, homophobic schoolmates
toast Posted August 31 Posted August 31 (edited) If anything I envy older gays who got to experience clubs without smartphones/gay cities in the 70s and 80s before HIV Edited August 31 by toast 3
Lasso Posted August 31 Posted August 31 i get that things are somewhat better, but some people make it sound like there's no homophobia anymore. young gay people aren't living in a pink wonderland. instead of envy, we should feel protective towards them 2
Malkuth Posted August 31 Posted August 31 I'm friends with a lot of older men and they all tell me they are happy they grew up when they did. The worst thing they usually say is that most of them say they had a lot of friends die during the AIDs pandemic and it was a terrifying time. Some say they had problems with their family and bullying, but those still happen today even if rarer. But other than that usually they say it was a lot more exciting, more cruising, secret parties all the time, more gay bars absolutely rammed 24/7, bigger social life, stronger sense of community, etc.
alexrex Posted August 31 Posted August 31 (edited) Well, I wished I got the chance to do it. I had a big crush on a friend who also turned out to be gay. We even slept in the same room during the Prom trip to Mexico, but I didn't know he was gay, so bummer... Spoiler nyway Edited August 31 by alexrex
Afterglow Posted August 31 Posted August 31 I feel sad for the new generation. While acceptance is higher, the culture is kind of dying off. I'm not sure if I'm the right demographic for this (but your classified as an older gay at 25 now, so I guess so)....
Redstreak Posted August 31 Posted August 31 I was 15 when I met my first bf who was 19, we dated all four years of high school and it ended up being a disaster with him pretending to have cancer to try and keep me from leaving 💀
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