discussion Do you know "open relationships" that have actually turned out well?

[Kern]

On 8/28/2024 at 4:03 AM, Breathe On Moi said:

unfortunately I think that's the only way to have an actual, actual, long term gay relationship. 

 

I can't accept it and probably why I won't be in a ltr. 

Girl please, that's so not true. Just be the change you want to see in gay relationships. Say no to any arragements that doesn't work for you. I'm in a monogamous relationship and will get engaged this year after 4 years of being single - it's possible 

[Breathe On Moi]

3 hours ago, Kern said:

Girl please, that's so not true. Just be the change you want to see in gay relationships. Say no to any arragements that doesn't work for you. I'm in a monogamous relationship and will get engaged this year after 4 years of being single - it's possible 

I'm very happy to hear that for you babe, and congrats. That's what I'm saying tho, i always cut out or say no once that's where it's heading, hence why I feel like my outlook on ltr is so bleak. You're the second person that's quoted me with such uplifting positive personal stories tho, so maybe. 

[jjmed59]

On 8/27/2024 at 9:10 PM, CristianGarcia said:

This. A lot of open relationships last for this simple thing.. the convenience when it comes to "money" 

 

I see this a lot with my local gays. They don't even be compatible sexually but they stick thru it for the fear of surviving on their own. 

its sad, but chrew  altho id like to think id survive on my own, i cant deny im much more comfortable w two paychecks coming throughh instead of just mine. so who knows lol

 

lots of straight married couples work this way too. hard times out here!

Edited August 29 by jjmed59

[Khal]

No. But then all the open relationships I know of are the type where there's an obvious disparity in looks and it's obvious one person wanted to open the relationship to satisfy and keep the more attractive of the pair. So, it might not be a good indicator of open relationships as a whole  

[CristianGarcia]

4 hours ago, jjmed59 said:

 i cant deny im much more comfortable w two paychecks coming throughh instead of just mine. so who knows lol

 

lots of straight married couples work this way too. hard times out here 

Yall don't like roommates? Me and my ex broke up and now I have 2 roommates. Lol I actually save more money now…

[John Slayne]

yes, in my opinion it actually works better and makes more sense *as long as both partners are on the same page*

 

most gay couples i know are open, some of them have been together for many years and are happy. it really only gets messy when one person does not want to be open and gets pressured into it by the other... people who think open relationships are not 'real' or 'serious' are just judgmental and stuck in compulsory monogamy

 

commitment can be expressed in many different ways, it's really weird how society decided that sexual exclusivity is the litmus test of a healthy relationship. it's especially weird to me seeing gays say this given that monogamy has historically been heavily sanctioned by religion and heteronormative culture... sistren we do not need to live like this!

 

edit: also, people love to point out how often open relationships fail but let's look at divorce and breakup rates... most monogamous relationships fail too and very often it's because one partner cheated/did not want to sleep with just the same person forever!

Edited August 30 by John Slayne

[The7thStranger]

Yes. My own. 10 years.

[liquiddiamonds]

7 hours ago, The7thStranger said:

Yes. My own. 10 years.

Mine too. Met my bf during first year of college. We opened because our careers took us to different paths at times and we also don't believe in the idea that we wouldn't feel attracted to other people throughout our lives. We do have our rules and we don't "share" people, since we both enjoy our intimacy together too much. We just allow ourselves to have encounters if we feel like it as long as our personal rules are respected. Some people have this twisted view of open relationship as promiscuous, but we haven't had much encounters throughout our relationship. There's a huge difference between the healthy relationship i've grown with my boyfriend and an encounter. Like this is someone you are building your life with, supporting each other emotionally, financially, being there during rough moments in life, vacationing together, etc It's a huge gulf that separates him from other people in my life, including friends. And speaking on friends, a friend of mine was cheated on with way more people in the span of a year in comparison  I'd never risk a closed relationship this century, not with sexting and so many other things around that makes cheating so easy, but they are possible. Closed or opened, people need to understand themselves, what they want for their lives, and be faithful to their rules… the whole problem is when people lie to themselves and consequently others and aren't trustworthy 

Edited August 31 by liquiddiamonds

[liquiddiamonds]

On 8/27/2024 at 8:37 PM, toast said:

The successful ones are probably the ones where the couple doesn't let everyone know that they're open

That's lowkey true. Do NOT make your relationship a flag or example for anyone. It does more harm than good. Live your life, your truth and disclose your intimacy with the very few people that matter. I feel these days people overshare a lot and that can attract some very messy situations, especially gossip 

[chiliam]

Open relationship is the key to long term relationship in gay world.

Yeah i saw a lot of success open couples, myself include, we are in a relationship for 11 years and 1st 5 years were monogamous but then naturally lead to open relationship. Its better than cheating. 

[Mr.X]

I know of at least three couples and one throuple who have been in open relationships for over a decade and they are all good and solid. Of course some of them go through a rough patch every now and then, but all relationships do to be honest

[velocity]

no and the second it becomes open it's dead. if you need to invite other people into your relationship in order to stay together i got some bad news for you

[jjmed59]

On 8/29/2024 at 2:40 PM, CristianGarcia said:

Yall don't like roommates? Me and my ex broke up and now I have 2 roommates. Lol I actually save more money now…

im sure that wouldnt be an issue however my partner and i do ultimately get along very well. im way way past the point of caring that he gets w others and hes the same jdjdj. itd be a bit silly (for us) to throw away our lifestyle and emotional comfort all bc we're not monogamous. 

[CristianGarcia]

2 hours ago, jjmed59 said:

im sure that wouldnt be an issue however my partner and i do ultimately get along very well. im way way past the point of caring that he gets w others and hes the same jdjdj. itd be a bit silly (for us) to throw away our lifestyle and emotional comfort all bc we're not monogamous. 

Then be roommates… Ya'll are practically single anyways.