Sad Beautiful Tragic Posted July 24 Author Posted July 24 2 minutes ago, Gesamtkunstwerk said: I personally wouldn't date someone overweight because I'm simply not attracted to them physically, and diet + exercise is important to me and my health, so I don't see our lifestyle being compatible either. How would you approach this without hurting the person? I obviously wouldn't say, "I can't date you because of your weight." However, mentioning a lack of compatibility might suggest that it's his weight that's the issue, especially since he's intelligent and quite successful. That's why the weight gain comes as a surprise to me
Claymore Posted July 24 Posted July 24 59 minutes ago, Wonbin said: Don't you think I should be offended that this friend tried to set me up with this person knowing how much he has changed visually? Are you 15? The offense of what, going to a date with a fatty? Also, something makes me think he is also downgrading his standards by going out with you since he would not have done this when he was fit. 5
cuteboyzay Posted July 24 Posted July 24 (edited) I'm not someone that cares too much about weight, I just want to know if you live a HEALTHY lifestyle. Or you at least workout a few times a week lol. And everyone's definition of "fat" differs from each other. Buuttt, I will say talk to him a little more and get TO KNOW HIM. No need to be intimate/romantic when you are barely getting to know someone. Then take it from there. I personally like chubby guys if their face card doesn't decline hehehe (same with guys physically in shape). But if you still notice that you can't get past the physical attraction then I'd suggest just being friends with him and be with someone you ARE physically attracted to lolZ. It sounds like him being "big" isn't really the issue you're having, but him showing signs of not really eating healthy or taking care of himself (poor skin condition and whatnot). So don't beat yourself up over it. Just get to know him as a friend/potential talking stage first and see what happens from there. Edited July 24 by cuteboyzay 1
Sad Beautiful Tragic Posted July 24 Author Posted July 24 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Claymore said: Are you 15? The offense of what, going to a date with a fatty? Also, something makes me think he is also downgrading his standards by going out with you since he would not have done this when he was fit. There is nothing wrong with him being fat, but I personally would not date someone I'm not attracted to. Who says we haven't had any moments of intimacy when he was "fit"? You don't have to be dating to have had sexual encounters. Edited July 24 by Wonbin
Dear Reader Posted July 24 Posted July 24 1 minute ago, Wonbin said: There is nothing wrong with him being fat, but I personally would not date someone I'm not attracted to. 4 minutes ago, Wonbin said: since he's intelligent and quite successful. That's why the weight gain comes as a surprise to me girl, just cut the crap and say you won't date fat people instead of trying to make you seem like a better person. Tell him you didn't feel the chemistry on your first date and let him date a person that will value him for who he is. 2
glitch Posted July 24 Posted July 24 38 minutes ago, selena_lavigne said: Also, i used to have a fetish for seeing pictures of guys who used to be muscular and then got fat, and seeing before and after pictures. This is a wild thing to admit to 4
Sad Beautiful Tragic Posted July 24 Author Posted July 24 Just now, Dear Reader said: girl, just cut the crap and say you won't date fat people instead of trying to make you seem like a better person. Tell him you didn't feel the chemistry on your first date and let him date a person that will value him for who he is. You of all people saying this when: 16 minutes ago, Dear Reader said: My DMs are open if you want me to provide you a different pov 1
cuteboyzay Posted July 24 Posted July 24 2 minutes ago, tost1 said: Just put ozempic in his drink while he is not looking GIRL!!!
Dear Reader Posted July 24 Posted July 24 Just now, Wonbin said: You of all people saying this when: you're the one that wrote an entire thread playing the saint when you know damn well you won't date him because he's gained weight. you're just looking for other people's validation. If you don't like him, leave him. That's like the easiest answer but you just seem to keep making post after post calling him fat. We get it. You even put an image in the OP to give "reference" as if we don't know how a fat person looks. Get better. 4 1
Claymore Posted July 24 Posted July 24 2 minutes ago, Wonbin said: There is nothing wrong with him being fat, but I personally would not date someone I'm not attracted to. But can you provide us with a reference image of yourself, miss girl? I am curious as to why a handsome, intelligent and successful man (words you have used to describe him besides fat) would go out with someone with subpar reasoning. 2
Sad Beautiful Tragic Posted July 24 Author Posted July 24 Just now, Claymore said: But can you provide us with a reference image of yourself, miss girl? I am curious as to why a handsome, intelligent and successful man (words you have used to describe him besides fat) would go out with someone with subpar reasoning. You can DM me if you want
Gesamtkunstwerk Posted July 24 Posted July 24 7 minutes ago, Wonbin said: How would you approach this without hurting the person? I obviously wouldn't say, "I can't date you because of your weight." However, mentioning a lack of compatibility might suggest that it's his weight that's the issue, especially since he's intelligent and quite successful. That's why the weight gain comes as a surprise to me Just say you don't feel chemistry. Yes, he's going to think it's because he's overweight regardless of what you say, so there's no need to rub it in his face, it's probably something he's insecure about, especially if he went from fit to chubby. No need to hurt him further.
Sad Beautiful Tragic Posted July 24 Author Posted July 24 Just now, Gesamtkunstwerk said: Just say you don't feel chemistry. Yes, he's going to think it's because he's overweight regardless of what you say, so there's no need to rub it in his face, it's probably something he's insecure about, especially if he went from fit to chubby. No need to hurt him further.
Claymore Posted July 24 Posted July 24 2 minutes ago, Wonbin said: You can DM me if you want Why, are you showing hole?
Distantconstellation Posted July 24 Posted July 24 1 hour ago, Dante Silva said: Karma is an inescapable boomerang and you've basically just cast a spell over your future self by putting those words in to the world. Do you have a modeling contract yourself? Are you walking the runways of New York/ Milan/ London? If the answer to this question is "No", then you are not in any kind of ivory tower/ life league that affords you a vantage point from which to judge the aesthetic of others. Common sense would dictate it's not appropriate to tell someone you are rejecting them because they are "fat"/ overweight. However, behaving with the class and decorum of a civilized adult is never a bad idea and you should instead tell them you aren't feeling any connection/ compatibility and that there are no hard feelings. Inherent in the coding of the above statement regarding compatibility is the truth of why you are rejecting them but that statement also contains the subtlety of letting someone down without hurting that person or being toxic. Karma is not a real thing. It's made up by humans.. Just like morals and everything else you mentioned. We are not that important. 1 1
Sad Beautiful Tragic Posted July 24 Author Posted July 24 Just now, Claymore said: Why, are you showing hole? 2
Dante Silva Posted July 24 Posted July 24 3 minutes ago, Distantconstellation said: Karma is not a real thing. It's made up by humans.. Just like morals and everything else you mentioned. We are not that important. Your boomerang has not yet returned I see.
HardBambi Posted July 24 Posted July 24 2 hours ago, Wonbin said: My friend recently set me up on a date with a man I hadn't seen in six years. I remembered him as being quite attractive, so I decided to give it a go. While waiting, I noticed a chubbier man walking towards me and initially thought he was another waiter asking if I was ready to order. As he approached, he said, "Sorry for the long wait, I was looking for parking," and I was taken aback to realise it was the same person. His appearance had changed significantly since I last saw him, and I was honestly shocked by how different he looked. I don't usually consider myself superficial or overly focused on appearances, and he seemed to have a decent personality. But, his weight gain and overall look made me question whether we would be compatible, as it seemed he might not be taking care of himself. Plus, his skin appeared to be in poor condition, possibly due to an unhealthy diet. My question is, would it be wrong to tell him I'm not interested and be honest about the reasons? And if you were in my position, would you date someone who is considered to be fat/chubby? For reference, this image is the closest I could find that resembles his body shape: Even though you come across as a nice person this thread is still offensive, the title alone, that image too, no.
HardBambi Posted July 24 Posted July 24 5 minutes ago, Breakdown said: i was rejected by a fat guy, so no Your fat ego was wounded
Digitalism Posted July 24 Posted July 24 Imagine you telling him you didn't like him because he is fat and he tells you he only ask you out because now you're on the same level as him. 6 1
єѕℓαм Posted July 24 Posted July 24 I tried it but realized that i'm not attracted to them sexually but the key is to always be respectful i never even say " You're not my type" or "i'm not interested" i always say "sorry but it's not a match" i find it to be more respectful
chosensparkles Posted July 24 Posted July 24 don't tell him it's bc of his weight, it's too hurtful just tell him you didn't feel a connection with him on that date, that he's super nice and sweet but it's best if you keep it like that
Recommended Posts