mercurialworld Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 (edited) Inspired by this one liner from The Line of Best Fit's recent Dua Lipa - Radical Optimism review: Quote Her lyrics give nothing away, she has the public persona of an Instagram model, and the most notable aspect of her personal life is that she likes going on holiday a lot. In a way, it's a relief to have a pop girl whose music can be understood without a 48-hour intensive course in their backstory. But it's hard to stomach that the only two options for female pop stars in 2024 are a (sometimes musically compelling!) gossip delivery system or a default Sim (popstar expansion pack version). What are some other notable drags from music reviewers? Edited May 3 by mercurialworld 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
playwithme Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 While the new Rihanna record may be at times sonically exciting, what resides beneath the new bass-heavy, Skrillex-inspired music is still a fast-food burger, one with a lot of extra sauce and some very disturbing ingredients. https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/music/la-xpm-2012-nov-16-la-et-ms-review-rihannas-unapologetic-shines-light-on-past-drama-20121116-story.html 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
єѕℓαм Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 The entirety of the ARTPOP era they were on a mission tearing her apart left and right 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reginald Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 (edited) 51 minutes ago, єѕℓαм said: ARTPOP era Edited May 3 by Reginald 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
illia Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 This entire review is one huge drag: https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/maneskin-rush/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galaxy Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Quote Bebe Rexha: Expectations review – fiercely trite pop UK audiences will know Bebe Rexha on the strength of her collaborations: with meat-headed country duo Florida Georgia Line, Dutch DJ Martin Garrix, rapper G-Eazy, and with Rita Ora, Charli XCX and Cardi B on Girls, a song about the joys of making out with women that drew condemnation from those who thought it trivialised queerness for a male gaze. These disparate hookups indicate an artist in desperate search of an identity, an impression the 28-year-old's fiercely trite debut album confirms. But then, what self-respecting modern pop star needs anything so quaint as an identity when there are genre-specific Spotify playlists to grace? Expectations ticks every box on pop's checklist in admirably perfunctory style: there are the songs about anxiety (I'm a Mess, Sad), the one that sounds like Migos (Mine), the one that features one of Migos (2 Souls on Fire), the Latin one (Shining Star), the tropical house one complete with "dolphin whine" (I Got You) and so on. The only remotely distinctive song is Ferrari, a song about how "living in the fast lane's getting kinda lonely" that lands somewhere between Maren Morris's (much better) My Church and Rag'n'Bone Man's (much worse) Human. As Ferrari proves, Rexha can belt in that strained, bluesy fashion that connotes authenticity – so it's baffling trying to work out why her vocals are often lagged in Auto-Tune: she sounds like she's drowning on Self Control and malfunctioning on the horrid Mine. The songwriting – about bad girls and good boys in miserable, moneyed relationships – is precisely as deep as you'd expect. Poptimism finds its hard ceiling. https://www.theguardian.com/music/2018/jun/22/bebe-rexha-expectations-review-fiercely-trite-pop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glitch Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Quote Despite LP1's effortful attempts to cast Payne as a sexual piranha, the 26-year-old generally comes off as an uptight scold. LP1 is a terrible pop album, but very effective contraception. Liam Payne's debut album review by the Guardian 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phaunzie Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 this iconic review Jessie J: Who You Are Album Review | Pitchfork Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunbathinganimal Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Quote LP1 is a terrible pop album, but very effective contraception. https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/dec/06/liam-payne-lp1-review-capitol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndThenTheCocaine Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 (edited) The effort put into writing this https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/5250-st-anger/ Edited May 3 by AndThenTheCocaine 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitsouko Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 https://www.slantmagazine.com/music/janet-jackson-discipline/ Quote Disappointingly, the title track doesn't hark back to the self-empowerment of Control, but rather the S&M of The Velvet Rope. Lyrics like "I touched myself/Even though you told me not to" and "Daddy, I disobeyed ya/Now I want you to come punish me" invite all kinds of psychoanalysis that only grow more disturbing when you remember who her daddy really is, which would be fascinating if she hadn't already written the sexier (and less creepy) "Rope Burn." Velvet Rope was Janet's finest statement as an artist in that it found her internalizing the political, but simply rehashing her deep-seated desire to be dominated isn't a step forward. And moving forward is exactly what Janet hasn't been able to do, at least creatively, since she split with covert co-writer/hubby René Elizondo Jr. The fact that she got dumb on All For You over the prospect of finding new dick was excusable, but Damita Jo, her first record after shacking up with Jermaine Dupri and exposing her star-shaped hardware to 90 million people, wasn't exactly the examination of identity and media that it should have been. The woman who once accused Madonna of having no class has spent a decade and a half telling us how, when, where, and by whom she likes to get her ***** eaten. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holyground13 Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 That Dua review is terribly written. 3 choices for a pop girl? Who did they attempt to drag - Tay and Ari? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Price of Fame Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 6 minutes ago, holyground13 said: That Dua review is terribly written. 3 choices for a pop girl? Who did they attempt to drag - Tay and Ari? what's hard to get? the two options they are describing are taylor and dua Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.D.D. Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 (edited) this is the most entertaining review ever, they even drew illustrations for every song to describe how bad they are https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/2135-daft-club/ Edited May 3 by D.D.D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndThenTheCocaine Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 4 minutes ago, D.D.D. said: this is the most entertaining review ever, they even drew illustrations for every song to describe how bad they are https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/2135-daft-club/ Early 2000s Pitchfork was messy af and dismissive of female pop in a way that would absolutely not fly these days... but they also gave us brutal gems like these Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyboi Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 omg I didn't know they been around for so long? I need those Britney reviews please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgos Groove Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 13 minutes ago, D.D.D. said: this is the most entertaining review ever, they even drew illustrations for every song to describe how bad they are https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/2135-daft-club/ Pitchfork used to be so funny. Let's not forget this gem: 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Expensive Taste Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 (edited) I listened to the album and I have to say, what happened to Dua Lipa? Like, the album isn't bad, far from it, it's actually quite cohesive, but unfortunately, none of the tracks have that sparkle or a huge replay factor like "Future Nostalgia". You listen once and don't feel that urge to listen again. Edited May 3 by Expensive Taste 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suburbannature Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Y'all should see the original Glitter era and Charmbracelet reviews. These are nothing compared to that. full of misogyny and ableism, taking shots at her psychiatric hospitalizations and "craziness," comments about her body, thinly-veiled racism about "palling around with rappers." Everything but the music itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
playwithme Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 32 minutes ago, Mitsouko said: https://www.slantmagazine.com/music/janet-jackson-discipline/ I can't stop laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnigmaticAndroid Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 1 hour ago, D.D.D. said: this is the most entertaining review ever, they even drew illustrations for every song to describe how bad they are https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/2135-daft-club/ Omfg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gatito Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 1 hour ago, mercurialworld said: Inspired by this one liner from The Line of Best Fit's recent Dua - Radical Optimism review: What are some other notable drags from music reviewers? did they just call her faceless instagram model? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holyground13 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 18 hours ago, Price of Fame said: what's hard to get? the two options they are describing are taylor and dua Oops I misread it, I thought it said two other options for pop stars. That makes it worse just two options for pop girls in 2024 is a mess of a statement Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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