Solaria Posted April 26 Posted April 26 The older you get the more responsibilites you get. How important is it for you to still spend enough time on friendships? Or is it something you don't prioritize as often? Discuss! 1
Tudors Posted April 26 Posted April 26 As I age I give less of a **** about everyone else around me. I just don't care anymore. I noticed I say yes to social activities to please others but when do they do the same for me? If I want to be a loner I have every right to be and everyone needs to realize that. The power of learning how to say no is just amazing and untapped by me for years and will be used as needed 😎 8 1
305 Posted April 26 Posted April 26 It's very important to have good friends around you. For some reason it's become common in this generation to act like friends suddenly don't matter as you grow up and that it's ok to not talk for 3 months at a time because "true friendships don't need time" blah blah blah, it's bullshit. Take the time to nurture your true friendships and they'll always be there for you no matter what. I have friends all over the country (and some out of the country) that I'm frequently in contact with, whether it's through social media or text or phone, we keep tabs on each other. 2
Kern Posted April 26 Posted April 26 11 minutes ago, Tudors said: As I age I give less of a **** about everyone else around me. I just don't care anymore. I noticed I say yes to social activities to please others but when do they do the same for me? If I want to be a loner I have every right to be and everyone needs to realize that. The power of learning how to say no is just amazing and untapped by me for years and will be used as needed 😎 4 minutes ago, shyboi said: i throw them a bone here and there this is so real. Most of my friendship were so stupid and forced, now you better fight for my attention if you want it, I won't be pleasing anyone anymore 1
Devin Posted April 26 Posted April 26 me and my circle been friends for over 10 years, we always keep in contact & try to hangout when we can. Quote personally, i feel like i outgrown most my friendships bc we're all on different journeys. but i noticed im the "therapist, big brother, advice giving" friend of the group which why the loyalty/friendships still going strong. but the libra in me wants balance. so if u not giving ur 50% investment, then ima fall back lol. 1
velocity Posted April 26 Posted April 26 honestly, it's completely irrelevant to me. i'm close to my family and boyfriend and i don't need anyone else. at this stage in my life i only want to do things i want to do, everything else is a waste of time. i wouldn't mind finding another woman to be friends with that has the same attitude as me. but i just can't be bothered anymore 1
Gladiator Posted April 26 Posted April 26 (edited) I used to invest everything in my friendships. As I grew older, I invest less and less, especially after moving during COVID - I think that conditioned me once I moved about 7 hours away from where I spent my whole life to just be around my friends less. I think I am pretty good at keeping in touch - because generally I share things I want them to watch, listen, or read - but they don't usually, and we have engaging conversations through Discord a few times a week. But I'm totally fine and prefer seeing them once a week. I do have one friend who is an exception to that, who I would ideally see 2-3 times a week if I could, but out of my friends he is also the one who has the most interests aligned with me. The others I have far less in common with, but I've been friends with way longer. Friends I have moved away from I have mostly fallen out of contact with. Edited April 26 by Gladiator
Happylittlepunk Posted April 26 Posted April 26 (edited) I only hang out with my friends like at least once every 2 weeks. I keep in touch through text and social media. I don't have time to hang out every weekend or every day of the week. I do value my friendships and I treat them like a relationship if it makes any sense? I make plans, ask questions, listen, and have fun. I don't try to have more than 5 or 6 deep friendships I came to realize I don't need that many friends plus I always try to serve quality on my end. I expect the same for my friends. Any friend who doesn't try to at least serve 50% same type of energy. I don't bother. I know life gets in the way and don't expect everyone to serve the same energy but you can see the signs and actions when people truly care about you and it's not hard. Friendships are important just like having a deep bond with your family or bf/gf is important too. Edited April 26 by Happylittlepunk 1
Reginald Posted April 26 Posted April 26 Honestly, no, and it barely feels like it's worth trying anyway. Friendships are very fickle. My previous closest-friend completely ghosted me once he got a girlfriend; the last time I reached out, he immediately read the message and never replied I'm just over it, and would rather spend what little free time I have on hobbies. 3
Gorjesspazze9 Posted April 26 Posted April 26 My friends are adults and know how to set boundaries and schedule times to socialize. So it's not that much of an issue for me. We mostly stay in touch more with social media then anything else nowadays
Scheissex Posted April 26 Posted April 26 I talk to my main group of friends from college every day. We visit each other in our new cities and go on trips pretty regularly. We always make time for each other despite life events, engagements, babies, etc. I recently moved from Columbus to Boston and have a new group of friends here that I see ~ once a month just because it's so expensive to do anything here. Some friendships are more low maintenance- people I can just pick up right where we left off after not talking for a few months. 1
makeme Posted April 26 Posted April 26 Yes and i'm not getting effort in return so i'm distancing myself. Being a people pleaser sucks 2
Solaria Posted April 26 Author Posted April 26 52 minutes ago, Gladiator said: I used to invest everything in my friendships. As I grew older, I invest less and less, especially after moving during COVID - I think that conditioned me once I moved about 7 hours away from where I spent my whole life to just be around my friends less. I think I am pretty good at keeping in touch - because generally I share things I want them to watch, listen, or read - but they don't usually, and we have engaging conversations through Discord a few times a week. But I'm totally fine and prefer seeing them once a week. I do have one friend who is an exception to that, who I would ideally see 2-3 times a week if I could, but out of my friends he is also the one who has the most interests aligned with me. The others I have far less in common with, but I've been friends with way longer. Friends I have moved away from I have mostly fallen out of contact with. Yeah I'm also the person who really wants to see their friends a lot but it's just not realistic anymore now that we're heading towards our mid 20s. It's still a lesson I have to accept, it kinda sucks because I'm really a people's person and I don't like being alone very much but I'm gonna have to come to terms with it 1
Johnny Jacobs Posted April 26 Posted April 26 I do. Thankfully i dont need to work much and my boyfriend is traveling often for business so i have spare time to hang
Venice B Posted April 26 Posted April 26 More than I should tbh I should start investing on a romantic relationship instead...
Giancor Posted April 26 Posted April 26 I want to but I can't and they complain. my social battery is very low. Can't change that
Batsy Armada Posted April 27 Posted April 27 Not as much as I should, with the way I work. And whenever I do have free, I'm mainly catching up on errands, personal tasks and just trying to rest and reconnect with myself. I could strive for a little bit more balance, for my own sake. I've been yearning for tighter connections lately.
Alldeezy Posted April 27 Posted April 27 I don't have friends these days because I got too lazy to keep in contact and most of them are just horny men trying to hit me up for a booty call when I rather be dried up then ever touch them like even a cuddle gives me the ick
Breathe On Moi Posted April 27 Posted April 27 currently feuding with two of my best friends for over two decades and one of their bdays is coming up in like two weeks, idk if to be messy or not sigh
dumbsparce Posted April 27 Posted April 27 As others have said, the older you get the less you care about friendships. There's 1 or 2 people nowadays I would call my friends bc I don't feel the need to censor myself or feel awkward when I'm around them and those are the ones I keep in touch with, although not as often as we did when we were younger. It also doesn't help if you live in different countries so there's that as well. Hanging out with them is not important for me at all though tbh. A text or a meme exchange every other week is enough for me (and them I suppose) to feel like we have each other's back when we need support.
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