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The Tortured Poets Department Review Thread | MC - 76


Cloröx

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why are "G1" reviews being posted :rip:

 

they really have to cling on to anything they can to diminish this album's success

 

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She's probably writing more songs while we're cooped up in here.

 

:suburban:

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oop

 

 

 

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3 minutes ago, suburbannature said:

 

 

 

oop

 

 

 

And why would we care exactly? Y'all want to make this bald man important so bad :rip: 

Edited by Squall
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1 minute ago, Squall said:

And why we would care exactly? :rip: 

Counts for AlbumoftheYear

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1 minute ago, suburbannature said:

Counts for AlbumoftheYear

Ok so we basically don't care, thank you for the enlightenment. :clap3: 

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Why are swiftys trying so hard to make sure that only positive reviews/opinions can be posted here? Like hello it's a review thread, the very purpose is that any and all reviews can and should be discussed. :rip:

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6 minutes ago, suburbannature said:

 

 

 

oop

 

 

 

and the opinion of an old straight man matters here because?

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2 minutes ago, Simondus said:

and the opinion of an old straight man matters here because?

when you find out who most music critics are....

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1 minute ago, Burn said:

Why are swiftys trying so hard to make sure that only positive reviews/opinions can be posted here? Like hello it's a review thread, the very purpose is that any and all reviews can and should be discussed. :rip:

Meanwhile yall cry that every positive review released is bought and the critic is just afraid to criticize her

:clack:

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84?

 

But the OTH wants 48!!!

 

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17 minutes ago, suburbannature said:

 

 

 

oop

 

 

 

It actually makes his "reviews" seem less credible when he takes such an approach.. "performative victimhood" :skull: sounds like any other ATRLers with zero critical thinking skills. 

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31 minutes ago, Squall said:

Ok so we basically don't care, thank you for the enlightenment. :clap3: 

Y'all are so bitter. It's a review thread :deadbanana2:

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1 minute ago, suburbannature said:

Y'all are so bitter. It's a review thread :deadbanana2:

And YouTubers aren't journalists, especially that Charli XCX stan, I'd rather take the Paste Magazine review.

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4 minutes ago, Squall said:

And YouTubers aren't journalists, especially that Charli XCX stan, I'd rather take the Paste Magazine review.

His reviews literally count for one of our most-used aggregates. It's not that deep.

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43 minutes ago, suburbannature said:

Counts for AlbumoftheYear

Which shows how stupid that website is :rip: 

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3 minutes ago, suburbannature said:

His reviews literally count for one of our most-used aggregates. It's not that deep.

And if you don't see any problem with this, that's on you.

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G1??? lol wtf is that 

 

AOTY is a joke, if I'll write a review they can add it. No one cares, 

and anyway, take a win, the album is bad with bad review, alright? Just leave us alone. Obsessed in a way I did not see in my life, you care about her failing (yeah, not happening…) than your favorite's success. It's so sad! 😂

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Fantano being literally unable to detect the satire in that track :toofunny3: oh I just know he's going to give the album a 4 or something

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2 minutes ago, omrimayo said:

G1??? lol wtf is that 

 

AOTY is a joke, if I'll write a review they can add it. No one cares, 

and anyway, take a win, the album is bad with bad review, alright? Just leave us alone. Obsessed in a way I did not see in my life, you care about her failing (yeah, not happening…) than your favorite's success. It's so sad! 😂

Uh, that's not true. They have a list of accepted publications. 

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Tbh I was a little mixed on the album at first but after some time to digest it really grows on you. I suspect the same will be true of critics (not that the reviews are bad)

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Swifts new release The tortured poets department is 2024's biggest disappointment and a predictable misstep for the world's biggest artist.  After the critical and commercial success of the utterly mediocre Midnights with its baffling win for AOTY at this year's Grammy it is easily to see why Swift refuses to show any form of artistic growth.  For a woman careening towards middle age she continues to write from the perspective of and market her music to teenage girls, because who else would find this drivel as anything but cringe inducing. 

If Swift could somehow manage to be single for longer than a fortnight perhaps she as a person could mature enough to teach her audience the importance of autonomy. The fact that Taylor is incapable of maintaining a successful romantic relationship should be a clear indicator to fans that she has nothing to offer in romantic advice. My biggest takeaway from subjecting myself to this project is that one cannot be a whole person and be successful in love until they take the time to find inner satisfaction, and clearly Taylor has not taken that time. It is beyond apparent she is emotionally stunted at age 17 and worse teaching her listeners that finding a romantic partner should be their sole purpose. 

Still, the biggest mistake on this album is with its production, it has committed the most cardinal of sins for a pop record, it's mind numbingly boring.  With its mostly indescribable  instrumentation and lack of variation in themes everything here melds into one long mid-tempoed slog.  Highlights: shutting it off. 1/10

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1 hour ago, Squall said:

I'm confused is it the actual review or just a first impressions

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45 minutes ago, Cruel Summer said:

Fantano being literally unable to detect the satire in that track :toofunny3: oh I just know he's going to give the album a 4 or something

That's what irritated me, it's like he purposefully had to ignore how tongue in cheek a lot of it is. Especially when he had already listened to the album before hand so he could set the tone 💀

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