Strawberry Bubble Posted April 14 Posted April 14 4 hours ago, NEX said: Try microdosing LSD. Maybe a bit more than microdosing. Like a quarter of a dose to try in the morning and see what it does for you for the next few days. There's also higher dose options to be administered medically. These things can make fundamental life long changes for you mentally I wouldn't recommend using LSD if you're feeling depressed. LSD tends to intensify emotions, so it can make things much worse. 1 1
Frappucino Posted April 14 Posted April 14 I could never forgive myself if I lost someone to suicide and I would probably downward spiral if I lost someone, I know it's hard but I'm sure others around you would feel the same, you have people here online even that are telling you not to go. Sending you a virtual hug 1
Curaga Posted April 14 Posted April 14 Absolutely not. It's easy to get stuck in the "life has no meaning/everything is pointless when you sit and think about it" rabbit hole when you keep telling yourself those things. I'm very sorry for your losses; I've never lost any close family members, so I have no idea what that's like, but I imagine your family would want you to find happiness. Give your life meaning by doing things that bring you joy. It doesn't matter if other people would say your activities/interests are meaningless or a waste of time. Get the most enjoyment out of your life while you still have it. 3
Onyxmage Posted April 14 Posted April 14 Well I don't know you from any random stranger (think Keke palmer sorry to this man) but my answer to you is NO. Absolutely not. You might not think that anything matters but YOU MATTER. Your existence is important and so is your life. I wish you the best in your journey friend. 2
Prodigal Self Posted April 14 Posted April 14 I'm not sure if it gets better cause it erm.. just don't. But we must persevere I guess 1
Cesar Posted April 14 Posted April 14 try some psychedelics. i'd advise doing it with someone you really trust (if you can). i was in the same kind of head space last year. but the answer is no
monologueNacafe Posted April 14 Posted April 14 5 hours ago, tost1 said: Depression is a result of a chemical inbalance in your brain (or something like that, don't quote me on it) and you are unable to produce (enough) serotonine. I was in extreme depression (never thought of sudoku though) and once I got a proper medication it made life bareable. It doesn't solve all your issues and it's hard work but at least it eases the pain and you can see things from a different perspective. There is only one life and there's no point in ending it abruptly. medication doesn't work for everyone
Danger Posted April 14 Posted April 14 No. Please request a psychiatric evaluation if you haven't had one already, maybe medication can help? Keep your head up. Keep yourself busy with things you enjoy, go for walks, take in the sunshine. Never give up
Maroonx Posted April 14 Posted April 14 Girl please seek help from a professional not ATRL. Sending ya some positive vibes x 1
unino Posted April 14 Posted April 14 i can't with some comments in this thread on the serious note, would you say that you're indifferent with most things in life?
Marianah Adkins Posted April 15 Posted April 15 I feel you. I've been feeling the same way too and I'm literally contemplating it rn. May we all find relief in whatever manner and dimension… 1
Alldeezy Posted April 15 Posted April 15 I went through a similar thing back maybe around 2010 - 2012 I was at my worst and seeking help on atrl made it a lot worse .. if anything more members tend to push the do it since rules weren't as strict back then i'd say talk to friends and family about it ... put your focus on something you love .. it's what I do .. I still have those days when I feel like ending it all but the boys I stan (i know how pathetic is sounds) they really saved me with there music and even finding a game to keep your mind off things when your feeling like that .. even maybe writing? that helped also. just focus on the things that do give you life and I promise it will get better. oh and if you are getting professional help maybe talk more about it and say it's not helping .. maybe they can look further and get you better help.
Specter Posted April 26 Author Posted April 26 On 4/14/2024 at 6:25 AM, visions said: What professional help are you getting right now? Are you on medication? On 4/14/2024 at 6:50 AM, Virgos Groove said: Are you on medication? On 4/14/2024 at 8:21 AM, Archetype said: Are you saying what you just said in your post to your therapist? They can only help you if you are truly willing to receive help. They need to know that what they are currently doing is not helping in the way it needs to. On 4/14/2024 at 8:09 AM, jesus del rey said: Do you feel like the professional help you are taking helping you? There are different types of therapies and it can be that you need a different type of therapy. Currently, I am on medication (though this has been largely ineffective I feel, even after a dosage bump), and weekly therapy sessions (for about two months now). But it really does not seem to be working.
visions Posted April 26 Posted April 26 6 hours ago, Specter said: Currently, I am on medication (though this has been largely ineffective I feel, even after a dosage bump), and weekly therapy sessions (for about two months now). Maybe you need a change in medication. Also 2 months of therapy isn't that much for what seems to be a pretty severe case of depression. You have to realise, your lack of enthusiasm to help yourself is also a symptom of depression, the sooner you find the best way to treat it, your outlook about everything in life will completely change over time. I promise, trying as many avenues of different medication, different therapists, and different ways of helping yourself is always more worth it than the other (more permanent) option.
Gesamtkunstwerk Posted April 26 Posted April 26 It might sound cliché to hear, but coming from someone that's been in your place too, it's not the answer. If it ended where I wanted it to end back then, it would've been a shame, because I'm actually a very happy person today. I hope you get the help that you need. On 4/14/2024 at 12:21 PM, NEX said: Try microdosing LSD. Maybe a bit more than microdosing. Like a quarter of a dose to try in the morning and see what it does for you for the next few days. There's also higher dose options to be administered medically. These things can make fundamental life long changes for you mentally I've done it myself, but come on. This is not harmless. This should only done in a professional setting, granted that they even have access to that, not in your bedroom with some looney tunes paper sheet you bought in the back of a car 1
Specter Posted June 3 Author Posted June 3 Hello, so it is my birthday today and I have decided — yes I will. After being on ATRL for more than a decade (incl. as a guest), I think this logout is going to be final... Would post in HQ because there are some cool people there but oh well. Thank you to everyone in this thread for their sincere and amusing responses too.
leonbotstein Posted June 3 Posted June 3 (edited) YOU have a beautiful future. It's a matter of tuning in and staying with the right frequency. You can generate so much joy for yourself and others. The world is flawed and evil but we make something beautiful out of it nonetheless. You can overcome any adversity. Please reach out if you ever don't feel that you can! Edited June 3 by leonbotstein 4
ATRL Moderator Popular Post Element Posted June 3 ATRL Moderator Popular Post Posted June 3 Hi -- I am so sorry to hear that you feel this is the only solution. On behalf of the mods & admin team, we urge you to contact the following crisis lines. Based on your IP, it should be listed below. In addition to suicide prevention, they also provide general counseling and support. You are valued and loved on ATRL, and surely in real life too. As many in the thread stated, there is so much more to life beyond this current moment. We live in a very dark world, but there is beauty and joy to be found out there still. I pray that you call the relevant hotline and make it through this: US: Call 1-800-273-8255 or text 741741 Canada: Call 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645 Mexico: Call (55) 5259-8121 UK: Call 116 123 Australia: Call 13 11 14 New Zealand: Call or text 1737 21
suburbannature Posted June 3 Posted June 3 1 hour ago, Specter said: Hello, so it is my birthday today and I have decided — yes I will. After being on ATRL for more than a decade (incl. as a guest), I think this logout is going to be final... Would post in HQ because there are some cool people there but oh well. Thank you to everyone in this thread for their sincere and amusing responses too. Not sure if you will read this, but it's important to remember that your current mindset is distorted by the very real agony you're experiencing. You see life as hopeless and not worth continuing because of how depression has altered your cognitions. While it is undoubtedly painful and I know you feel that there is no light around the corner, there are still opportunities for you to heal with time. It won't be instant, but please consider diving deep into recovery - being consistent with therapy and implementing the tools they provide you, encouraging yourself to spent time with loved ones on a regular basis, staying active, fine tuning your sleep and diet, and possibly finding the right medication. I know that likely sounds daunting, but sometimes it only takes one moment for things to click and to recognize that you are on the road to recovery. It's a long road and there will be setbacks, but they can be temporary with commitment. I'm not sure where you are located, but I'd be happy to link you with resources or more information about how to find them near you. 14
Popular Post Rotunda Posted June 3 Popular Post Posted June 3 (edited) 1 hour ago, Specter said: Hello, so it is my birthday today and I have decided — yes I will. After being on ATRL for more than a decade (incl. as a guest), I think this logout is going to be final... Would post in HQ because there are some cool people there but oh well. Thank you to everyone in this thread for their sincere and amusing responses too. Hi, as someone who has gone through extensive mental health struggles I know the journey feels tough and can feel unbearable, but there's always potential in future days. Sometimes the moments where you're trying to do therapy and medication can feel even worse as you try to work out which combination works right for you, and that's totally normal. It's a marathon not a sprint. I hope you're being kind to yourself (and your future self) and give yourself the opportunity to take a chance on a better future. You never know the kind of people you'll get to meet, the things you'll get to experience, or the things you'll learn about yourself. I've been where you and I'm sending my love. Things are not insurmountable. Edited June 3 by Rotunda 16
leonbotstein Posted June 3 Posted June 3 (edited) I want to add that I HAVE BEEN EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE. It seemed there was nowhere left to go. I found the right doctor and the right medication, even though I was INCREDIBLY resistant to a solution of that sort. A year later, I have a partner, a job, a better relationship to my family. I can read and write and walk around without feeling like I am at the end of my rope. What's crazy is...it's not that deep. There are simple steps you can take to turn things around. Your posting here is a BEAUTIFUL thing, in that it connects you to so many people who want to help you get control of your life. One day all the betrayal and perceived weight of failure in your life will lift and you will wonder how you ever believed that it was real. PS. What I would also say is FIGHT. Find a reason, even if it is just that you can't let your parents or family down. You only need one straightforward reason. Figure out how you are going to WIN and fight for that vision with everything you have. Nothing else matters. Edited June 3 by leonbotstein 4
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