discussion Are you a narcissist? Do you know one?

[Revolution]

A narcissist is someone with insecure self esteem.

 

They are very sensitive to criticism or negative feedback. They also seek admiration or approval from others.

 

Many narcissists may also cope by exhibiting one or more of the following:

• Attention seeking or people-pleasing behaviors
• Become perfectionists (to avoid self-criticism)
• Have a sense of entitlement or arrogance as a shield
• Alternate between states of overconfidence and inferiority

 

[Gesamtkunstwerk]

Yes, I've had one close to me growing up and a partner too.

 

I feel really sorry for them because they're truly miserable and depressed people deep inside but they don't know why and there's very limited options for treatment, if they even want it. 

 

But having those people in my life is 100% a losing game, so I cut them out and I've never felt better  The amount of energy I've lost in my life trying to accommodate them is scary.

[HRHCOLLECTION]

Oh it seems like I am one

[Lana Banana]

 

[Capris Groove]

I think your definition is missing how they always feel superior to others, whether it's deserved or not. They're totally self-involved and can't feel empathy for others.

 

What you described can just be someone with low self-esteem, which isn't the same thing.

[Gesamtkunstwerk]

8 minutes ago, Capris Groove said:

I think your definition is missing how they always feel superior to others, whether it's deserved or not. They're totally self-involved and can't feel empathy for others.

 

What you described can just be someone with low self-esteem, which isn't the same thing.

I think it sums it up fine in "Alternate between states of overconfidence and inferiority".

 

The ones I know are actually very insecure and the over inflated ego is their coping mechanism. That's why they often switch feeling from inferiority to superiority and back again.

Edited March 20 by Gesamtkunstwerk

[dussel_06]

I want to be a narcissist so I can stop obsessing with other people and just be obsessed with myself instead.

[Illuminati]

Everyone knows a narcissist but no one wants to admit to being one

[Capris Groove]

14 minutes ago, Gesamtkunstwerk said:

I think it sums it up fine in "Alternate between states of overconfidence and inferiority".

 

The ones I know are actually very insecure and the over inflated ego is their coping mechanism. That's why they often switch feeling from inferiority to superiority and back again.

Hmm, no doubt that they're highly insecure underneath it all, but I think the obsession with all things self and the imagined superiority over others are really the defining traits. Lots of people are very sensitive to criticism and do people pleasing behaviours, become perfectionists, etc., just because of low self-worth, but that doesn't make them narcissists.

 

From what I understand everyone has some level of narcissism, which psychologsts say is healthy, but when it gets into NPD you have a problem.

Edited March 20 by Capris Groove

[GeeDuval]

After dealing with a manipulative narcissist for 9 yrs, all I can say walking away, cutting all ties and communication has been the best decision. 
 

you don't know how strong you are until you accept an apology that you were never going to receive, and when you learn that their actions has more to do with them than YOU best feeling ever. 
 

total brat, very insecure, when people would spark up a conversation with me at a bar or restaurant, he would make it all about him, a man child basically. He would throw tantrums if we didn't pick a restaurant he wanted to go, all activities had to do with alcohol. Looking back, he was just numbing his pain away. His own friends would catch him on Grindr and send me his pictures, he would deny it to my face.

 

Everyday I thank God I walked away from all that, all we can do is work on ourselves and hope they are getting the help they need.

Edited March 20 by GeeDuval

[Princess Aurora]

Some of my relatives are completely narcissists 

[Capris Groove]

2 minutes ago, GeeDuval said:

After dealing with a manipulative narcissist for 9 yrs, all I can say walking away, cutting all ties and communication has been the best decision. 
 

you don't know how strong you are until you accept an apology that you were never going to receive, and when you learn that their actions has more to do with them than YOU best feeling ever. 
 

total brat, a man child would throw tantrums if we didn't pick a restaurant he wanted to go, all activities had to do with alcohol. Looking back he was just numbing his pain away. His own friends would catch him on Grindr and send me his pictures, he would deny it to my face. Everyday I thank God I walked away from all that. Glad I can catch the red flags now. 

I'm glad you're away from that MESS. Good for you sis.

[GeeDuval]

22 minutes ago, Gesamtkunstwerk said:

I think it sums it up fine in "Alternate between states of overconfidence and inferiority".

 

The ones I know are actually very insecure and the over inflated ego is their coping mechanism. That's why they often switch feeling from inferiority to superiority and back again.

This. 

[Gesamtkunstwerk]

2 minutes ago, GeeDuval said:

a man child would throw tantrums if we didn't pick a restaurant he wanted to go

Tbh, this is how I started to question if my ex was one, because he couldn't believe when his friend group didn't want to go the exact place he wanted to go as the only one. He literally felt like they betrayed him each time it happened.

 

I thought "this guy is not right in the head"

 

Glad you got rid of him! It's the best you can do.

[Jon Snow]

40 minutes ago, Gesamtkunstwerk said:

Yes, I've had one close to me growing up and a partner too.

 

I feel really sorry for them because they're truly miserable and depressed people deep inside but they don't know why and there's very limited options for treatment, if they even want it. 

 

But having those people in my life is 100% a losing game, so I cut them out and I've never felt better  The amount of energy I've lost in my life trying to accommodate them is scary.

same. i felt so bad for them, i wanted to help, i was protective and everything. i knew the burdens they had, and i knew they deserve to feel better. but then i realized nothing i ever do will change them and they just end up hurting me. they never understand when they do something wrong, and don't seem to want to change.

 

in recent years i fully stopped being friends with one, and i stopped being close with another. i was in love with the third one and it was the best feeling when i cut all the ties with them

[WitnessOblivia]

Honestly, a small percentage of the population is an actual narcissist. There's a spectrum of narcissism, and we're all on it. 

It's become so popular to armchair diagnose people we've had terrible experiences with. 

 

With that said, narcissism is common enough to know for sure that all of us have come into contact with multiple narcissists at some point.

I don't think anyone close to me is a narcissist, but some are definitely on the wrong side of the spectrum, me thinks. 

[shyboi]

i never understood the concept of narcissism, people use it for everything

 

moody? you a narcissit, perfectionist? you a narcissist, ambitious? ya, most likely a narcissist, hot? def narcissist 

[Gesamtkunstwerk]

4 minutes ago, shyboi said:

i never understood the concept of narcissism, people use it for everything

 

moody? you a narcissit, perfectionist? you a narcissist, ambitious? ya, most likely a narcissist, hot? def narcissist 

None of these traits defines narcissism, some of them aren't any of those things besides moody  

[Pendulum]

Everybody is a narcissist to an extent and people definitely misuse the term. I don't think I've ever met a person with a narcisstic personality disorder BUT I had an encounter with a very.. interesting gay guy a few months back. Take the twink archetype and apply a narcissistic filter ten times on top. Yuck. 

[GeeDuval]

29 minutes ago, shyboi said:

i never understood the concept of narcissism, people use it for everything

 

moody? you a narcissit, perfectionist? you a narcissist, ambitious? ya, most likely a narcissist, hot? def narcissist 

Check below: 

 

1 hour ago, Capris Groove said:

I think your definition is missing how they always feel superior to others, whether it's deserved or not. They're totally self-involved and can't feel empathy for others.

 

What you described can just be someone with low self-esteem, which isn't the same thing.

.

 

making everything about them, insecurities, fitting in, manipulating others, not being themselves, etc.

 

when you know yourself you don't have to try so hard in other words I guess. Being a Perfectionist, having confidence and ambitious is very different than someone who's insecure and pretentious.

Edited March 20 by GeeDuval

[UnusualBoy]

You forgot to mention that a narcissists only care about themselves, do not care about your feelings nor what you think.

 

So, no, I haven't. I've known arrogant people, vein people but they show at some degree caring for others unlike a narcissist.

 

 

[Gladiator]

No and I don't know anyone who is.

[єѕℓαм]

I'm not but i'm a perfectionist and i love + respect myself but not to the point of arrogance 

but my cat is definitely one 

[Cesar]

yes, my ex. he completely destroyed sense of self & caused me alot of trauma. that i still have trouble dealing with sometimes. i wouldn't wish the experience on anyone tbh

[Alldeezy]

my ex is one .. knowing how he has treated the next 2 girls .. screams Narcissists he is the most awful person