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Am I too hard on myself or am I a bad boyfriend?


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Posted (edited)

So I've been in a relationship for almost two years now, we've had some problems like any relationship but overall, it's a pretty stable and healthy bond.

But whenever I'm in a public space without him, I can't help to stare at hot guys and kinda flirt with them, sometimes I can feel how my face changes into "H*e" mode, and then I feel guilty because I'm in a relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't go further than a simple look, but it still feels "good" to look and make eye contact with other guys and being flirty :clack: 

 

What do you think atrlers? Is that behaviour normal? Or I'm being a shady/bad boyfriend and should stop with that sort of behaviour?

 

 

Edited by Littlejfrey
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Posted

you're just gay

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Posted

I think you should be asking this question to your bf instead. If he’s ok with it, go ahead. If not, stop it (or end the relationship). 

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Posted

you're too hard on yourself :heart:

Posted

What does your boyfriend think?

 

I think we all look at hot people, relationship or not. Flirting with people is a bit questionable but depending on what you're saying it could potentially be harmless.

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Posted

You say you wouldn’t go further but I’m not too confident about that.

 

Looking at other guys is fine, but locking eyes and being flirty is a next step that I wouldn’t take

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Posted

Looking and flirting will eventually lead to cheating so maybe you’re not ready for a serious relationship as much as u thought 

My advice is to end it before it gets worse :)

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Posted

Get some self control hussy. 

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Posted

some people are more drawn to flirting and seeking validation from others, i am too. me nor my boyfriend care about that stuff, looks are harmless if you both agree they are.  it really doesn't matter what we or you think, if you suspect he's gonna be hurt. it only matters what he thinks about it and that's why you should ask him these things, because then you'll know if you're a "bad" boyfriend or not.

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Posted (edited)

Let's face real life here:

For sure not a bad boyfriend, if u were u wouldn't be feeling bad for something that u never even did, it's just in your mind. 

 

There are people that are naturally flirty, u must be one of them 

U won't be able to control where ur eye is looking for, don't even try it cuz u won't (of course not the level of a disrepectul stare, im talking about looking at hot people in a normal way), no one does. but you are able to control how much time u stay looking to that person, u must look away before it becomes flirty. 

 

and about conversations, i am naturally flirty and i had situations (with my ex, not my current bf) where i was at a restaurant with my ex + a friend, and the waiter was probably gay (he wasn't even hot lmaooo) when my bf went to the bathroom, my friend told me that i totally flirted with the guy and i was like WHAT??????? cuz my ex was right beside me while i was talking with the waiter and he wasn't even hot (at all) so i didn't notice it and wasn't planning on doing it. 

in that moment i started asking my friends & analyzing my behavior and i noticed that i am naturally flirty and learned how to control it 

it doesn't mean u won't be nice, but u will learn how to control it 

 

Edited by Selegend
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Posted

YES, you're a bad boyfriend

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Posted

Have you ever considered talking to your boyfriend about it?

glitch

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Posted

Yes. 

Posted

To a lesser extent, I used to do that in the beginning of the relationship not ******* 2 years in :rip: 

Posted
1 minute ago, SweetTalker said:

To a lesser extent, I used to do that in the beginning of the relationship not ******* 2 years in :rip: 

i didn't notice when i first read it. it would've changed my post a lot tbh... i also had in the beginning of the relationship and i wrote my post with that in mind :rip: like i was learning how to have a boyfriend, very different from 2 years

 

maybe u deep down want to open it? @Littlejfrey

 

Posted

healthy and normal :coffee2:

Posted

Being attracted to other men is normal. Flirting/seeking validation from other men & being unable to control your urges around your BF is a potential issue.

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Posted

Are u hookin up with those guys? :cm:

Posted

I think you should talk about it with your man. It's completely normal to stare at other guys and find them hot. Bing a little flirtatious but not going any step beyond that might be okay too for some couples, depending on what your definition of cheating is. That's why yall need to address it. 

Posted

you're in a relationship, not blind. it's okay to look at other people while you're alive. who doesn't get a little flirty? I'm sure he does it too.

Posted

Everyone is always checking out hot guys I fear

 

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Posted

it sounds like you should ask what he thinks tbh. you sound like every man i’ve ever heard of that’s still in functioning relationships.

sourprint
Posted

i look at other people and consequently feel bad about it and tell him but dont flirt and try to elongate the stare so.. i guess so sry

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