discussion Does "A man can NEVER nurture a child the way a mother does" get to you?

[BrentB]

I mean, like I get that it's obvious what stance y'all take with that, but how do you really feel about that phrase? Does it get to you at all? I just recently overheard people out while I was at a store, talking about IVF procedures. One woman, in particular, was going on about how wrong she thinks it is for two men to raise a baby because, according to her, men don't have the loving, kind patience of woman . And of course, made sure to refer to the whole "men don't carry for 9 months & breastfeed so they can never have THAT bond" argument like she ate  

 

And I get that these kind of statements from ignorant trash shouldn't get to me, but for some reason, I just couldn't shake it off fully this time. I know that science & years of peer reviewed studies dispute that mess. But I guess deep down, I just hope that we (as gays) can, in actuality, give enough essential love and connection to a life from his/her early life till they're fully grown.  

 

Are there any parents on here that can lend their perspective on this? I've watched testimonials from people who were raised with gay parents (specifically two men). I even watched that Jubilee episode where there was a lady with 2 gays as parents who tried to assure the conservative side that she was fine without having a mother. I guess maybe I'd just like more assurance at the end of the day that children of gay parents aren't "coached" & "pressured" to say that they turned out fine & aren't "lacking the 'vital' mother's touch" that a lot of conservatives claim every person needs.

Edited February 10 by BrentB

[Frappucino]

Good thing Casey Anthony wasn’t out shopping that day otherwise that lady would’ve looked real dumb

[visions]

As you said yourself, I don’t let stupid opinions from stupid people bother me.

 

It doesn’t come from care of children, it comes from bigotry or else they’d be saying this about widows etc. 
 

Pay them no mind, you’re already more capable than them if they have opinions like this. 

[tost1]

**** them, the only thing that matters is that you'll give your best to be a good parent. People are dumb and ignorant.

[WitnessOblivia]

A little, but then I remind myself that those people are so ******* stupid. 

[Vespertine]

I obviously don't agree with the sentiment, but I can understand why straight people might think that. They're speaking from experience with men -- I know very few people who would describe their mother and father as equally nurturing, loving, attentive, thoughtful, etc. They've grown up around emotionally distant straight men who are brainwashed by gender norms. 

 

Of course there is homophobia sprinkled in too. 

[Cheers]

No. Sometimes I agree so I personally wouldn’t adopt tbh. That shouldn’t stop YOU from doing you tho, sis! Be the best dad you can be.

[Redstreak]

My partner and I raise his kid, meanwhile his bio mother is a drunk and can’t keep job  the best outcomes for kids are a two+ parent household regardless of the parents gender. There are even studies that kids of gay parents do better on average 

Edited February 10 by Redstreak

[Big Bad Wolf]

I think if I were to have kids and if I had a girl I would definitely want her to have an involved Godmother. But that's just me, and I still think gay dads are amazing regardless. It's proof that not only women can be nurturing.

[Terrielle]

Dumb as hell. There are so many abusive, apathetic mothers out there. More often than not that's the case. It's just a faux pas to question or judge it.

[Raver]

Na. There could be some truth to it but every situation is different 

[Trent W]

That is a phrase of a middle aged conservative woman that has nothing going on other than being a “mother”

 

There are men out there more capable than some women, sure some women are excellent mothers but a lot are really not

 

It all depends on each individual.

 

So the generalization is ignorant and stupid

[Cain]

Why would I let what straight people say get to me? Most of them are horrible parents with sad lives

[loveisdead9582]

It used to, until I realized that it’s only said by ignorant individuals. 

[glitch]

1 hour ago, Cain said:

Why would I let what straight people say get to me? Most of them are horrible parents with sad lives

[alexrex]

Well, me personally Idc because I don't find myself having kids in this economy and this overpopulated Earth. 

 

But I am aware that by nature is the female that carries life and can nurture the child. However, you see a lot of heterosexual couples who are terrible parents and mistreat their children. So what's the point of being able to feed the child in those cases if the child will be mistreated or neglected ?

 

Also there are many types of families beyond the heterosexual couples. People who are raised by one parent (mother or father), by their grandparents, by a relative, in a foster home. That argument about man and woman is pretty weak when it comes to reality, which is much more complex and has lots of variables to it. 

 

So I'm pretty sure you can turn out to be just fine if you are raised by a loving family, no matter their sex or their gender identity, if it's one or two, or more. 

Edited February 10 by alexrex

[JonginBey]

Until I become a father (not sure if that'll ever happen), I guess I'm indifferent.

[Into The Void]

11 hours ago, BrentB said:

I mean, like I get that it's obvious what stance y'all take with that, but how do you really feel about that phrase? Does it get to you at all? I just recently overheard people out while I was at a store, talking about IVF procedures One woman, in particular, was going on about how wrong she thinks it is for two men to raise a baby because, according to her, men don't have the loving, kind patience of woman . And of course, made sure to refer to the whole "men don't carry for 9 months & breastfeed so they can never have THAT bond" argument like she ate  

 

 

What about a woman who has a surrogate because she couldn't. Does the same apply to them?. Gays r not the only ones who do IVF