celeb news Consequence DRAGS JT's new single: "latest turd in a 10-year run of shitty music"

[Stankonia]

Justin Timberlake’s New Song “Selfish” Is the Latest Turd in a Ten-Year Run of Shitty Music: Review

Another Timberlake comeback, another snoozer

 

Justin Timberlake has always kind of sucked, at least on a personal level, and his new song, “Selfish,” is just the latest turd to be floated across the surface of his long-stagnant career. It’s not just sanitized, Bieberized, blue-eyed R&B; it’s treacly schlock.

 

The lyrics are cliche heaped upon cliche, and he doesn’t bring even a whiff of sex, though you may still pick up the odor of  bullshit. “Your lips were made for mine,” he sings, and while his heart may be “beatin’ for you all the time,” my stomach was “throwing up into my mouth.” And lest you think that he’s kept up with modern technology, the line, “Every time the phone rings, I hope that it’s you” feels like a time capsule from the days before the vibrate setting and Caller ID — the last era when Timberlake was relevant. “Selfish” isn’t even bad enough to be interesting, and it’s certainly not ambitious; it’s like he was aiming squarely for mediocre and still came up short.

 

The thing is, this is not a surprising development. Man of the Woods sucked in 2018, and as much as we wanted to like “Suit & Tie,” both parts of 2012’s The 20/20 Experience sucked as well. The only reasons that Timberlake matters more than other washed teen idols are two solo albums that seem more and more improbable with each passing year.

 

In retrospect, he caught Pharrell and Timbaland at the right time. Both superproducers were at the peak of their powers when they guided Timberlake through Justified and FutureSex/LoveSounds, respectively. Among the megastar class that’s not so uncommon; I can think of plenty of pop artists who had one or two good albums and then floundered, unable to again assemble the right collaborators under a unified vision. Timberlake can’t project manage, and he doesn’t have Beyoncé’s ear for beats or Taylor Swift’s feel for lyrics.

 

He does have some, for lack of a better term, soft skills. For instance, he was able to capitalize on his relationship with Britney Spears to sell FutureSex/LoveSounds. Ignore for the moment Spears’ memoir, where she wrote that he had done all the cheating and she was blindsided by “Cry Me a River” — the tactic had a Machiavellian efficiency, even if it doesn’t do him any credit personally or artistically.

 

Still, for a guy like this — handsome, white, a tremendous dancer, and willing to play dirty — his solo run has been surprisingly boring. Time and again over the last ten years, he has gone into the studio with the most accomplished hitmakers in the world, only to produce a tune about as lively as a dead house plant.

 

The longer this goes on, the easier it is to put those two solo albums in context. Pharrell was deep in his bag during Justified. FutureSex/LoveSounds might be Timbaland’s masterpiece.

 

Those albums would be classics no matter who sang them. But because it was this guy, we seem to be stuck with him.

 

https://consequence.net/2024/01/justin-timberlakes-selfish-review-new-song/

 

[Just a Gay on ATRL]

The absolute evascersation nnnn karma is a *****.

 

[jadeabove]

Justin may be a douche, but that review is just horribly mean.

[Gui Blackout]

The 20/20 Experience was universally acclaimed but now that people don't like him it suddenly sucked? That's why critics get a bad rep

[Johnny Cash]

Loser "journalists" who live on Twitter are irrelevant I fear

[tiagol88]

That review sounds like an ATRL post.

 

Someone actually has a degree and decided that was appropriate language for a review?

i mean…can i be hired? I could do a better job and actually review the song to begin with.

 

[Karla Cabello]

[Keter]

I don’t like JT myself but this person sounds mad af. It weakens the genuine criticism. 

[Shimenawa]

Drag It!

[SinnerCity]

The lashings 

[OreGuy]

Quote

 

 the line, “Every time the phone rings, I hope that it’s you” feels like a time capsule from the days before the vibrate setting and Caller ID — the last era when Timberlake was relevant.

 

[MissedTheTrain]

I'm not even really a JT fan but this reeks of bias.  The song is safe and not polarizing enough to warrant this much of a reaction  

 

Also, what's with the retconning of the 20/20 Experience, when it was acclaimed and successful?  Are they forgetting how big he was during that era?

[Cheeky]

The reviewer is giving loser energy. 

[Apolonio ₃₄]

The song sucks and is boring.

[MatiRod]

Quote

 both parts of 2012’s The 20/20 Experience sucked aswell. 

A lie has been detected 

[MatiRod]

9 minutes ago, MissedTheTrain said:

I'm not even really a JT fan but this reeks of bias.  The song is safe and not polarizing enough to warrant this much of a reaction  

 

Also, what's with the retconning of the 20/20 Experience, when it was acclaimed and successful?  Are they forgetting how big he was during that era?

Yeah Part 1 was a great album and the best selling album of 2013 in the US

[Big Bad Wolf]

He's DONE in America. Panned after exposure. He should try gay porn

[Vixen Eyes]

24 minutes ago, Gui Blackout said:

The 20/20 Experience was universally acclaimed but now that people don't like him it suddenly sucked? That's why critics get a bad rep

didnt that come out more than 10 years ago? its 2024 now. wasnt it a 2012 release?

[Iceland]

He should retire at this point. He’s completely over!

[Bewitched]

Do I think they needed to go this hard? No

 

With that being said the track is generic mid tempo snooze fest that could be sung by anybody 

 

It’s just not exciting 

[McNulty]

That's why people don't take music critics seriously these days 

[Maroonx]

Aren't reviews supposed to be unbiased? This writer clearly dislikes JT. To be fair the song is not exactly the best, but still, no reason for all the lashings

[dawnettakins]

He's so over

[Gov Hooka]

No lies told 

[truthteller]

it's really intersting how the acclaimed SexyBack / 2020 Experience run would into this narrative for the critics

Edited January 26 by truthteller