discussion is dating without intent to marry / short-term relationships wrong?

[littlebodybigheart]

it’s not wrong per se, but it’s a waste of time

[byzantium]

1 hour ago, Asscatchem said:

if i am upfront about this to him

This is the key.  

[Venice B]

I would never date someone I don't see myself with in the long term but I don't condemn people who go for short relationships.

[John Slayne]

yes it is okay. not every relationship or every date has to result in a life-long connection. some people come into your life for a season and that's okay. 

 

but please be honest with the other person, in case they might want more they should know that's not how you feel. 

Edited December 27, 2023 by John Slayne

[Flower]

Yes but you need to let the other person know early on, or you should ask the other person if you are the one who wants to get married.

[John Slayne]

26 minutes ago, littlebodybigheart said:

it’s not wrong per se, but it’s a waste of time

this is kinda sad. you can benefit and grow from all types of relationships, long-term or short-term. many people find a lot of value in short connections, it just depends on what you want at the time. 

 

and there's almost always a lesson to learn, even if you figure out that something was not for you.

[Illuminati]

People date very young, it may seem like a forever relationship but I think it's kinda established that a school crush is often not the forever thing

[dumbsparce]

If you don't want any long-term commitments then you're not dating, you're fucqing. 

Edited December 27, 2023 by dumbsparce

[DamianSolo]

Personally, if we're not moving towards a type of official commitment then there's no point for me to invest into dating someone. I don't want to waste my time, nor do I want to waste anyone else's.

 

I wouldn't say it's "wrong," but it seems pointless to date without wanting it to lead somewhere other than just dating. Unless someone is low-key still looking for someone who they would be interested in marrying and have just settled into indefinitely dating until then. I've seen this play out too many times with various people and couples over the years.

[Strawberry Bubble]

No, morality is subjective, and it's up to you if you think this is wrong or not. I wouldn't see it as something bad, specially because lying is the worst way to act in a relationship. 

[UnusualBoy]

Talk about it with him.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with it but each person see things differently so he may not agree with it. Sit and talk about it.

[Archetype]

It’s going to hurt one or both of you but there’s nothing wrong with it.  Most relationships don’t work out, so this wouldn’t be unique.  It’s just difficult to convince someone to date you fully knowing that there is an expiration date in mind.  But yes, you absolutely need to be honest about your intentions and be prepared to have a good explanation as to why.

Edited December 27, 2023 by Archetype

[AMIT]

Is the reason you don't see you two lasting for long because they're an Android user?

 

[Sergi91]

Yes 

[Maroonx]

You do what's best for you. Some people want to get married, others don't. Marrying someone does not mean you love them more than not being married. 

Obviously you and your partner have to be on the same page about getting/not getting married, otherwise it can be tough.

[littlebodybigheart]

3 hours ago, John Slayne said:

this is kinda sad. you can benefit and grow from all types of relationships, long-term or short-term. many people find a lot of value in short connections, it just depends on what you want at the time. 

 

and there's almost always a lesson to learn, even if you figure out that something was not for you.

i’m sorry but relationships take time and effort. and i’m not pouring my energy into someone when i know for a fact they’re not going to be in my life for a while when i could be putting that energy into someone that i’ll keep around.

[John Slayne]

26 minutes ago, littlebodybigheart said:

i’m sorry but relationships take time and effort. and i’m not pouring my energy into someone when i know for a fact they’re not going to be in my life for a while when i could be putting that energy into someone that i’ll keep around.

that's your prerogative, OP clearly feels differently. would you stay in a bad relationship just because you've already put effort in so you want to see it through?

[littlebodybigheart]

43 minutes ago, John Slayne said:

that's your prerogative, OP clearly feels differently. would you stay in a bad relationship just because you've already put effort in so you want to see it through?

well if they didn’t care to hear different opinions, they wouldn’t be on here asking

 

and that’s 2 very different things. one is starting something with someone when you know from the get-go that person isn’t going to be in your life anymore, and the other one is intending for somebody to be in your life for a while but as the relationship develops then you find out it’s not gonna work out or your needs change. apples and oranges.

[ThousandMiles]

Well yes! 

 

If you don’t go into this without the soul intention to marry him then you will be condemned to hell. Hope this helps! 

Edited December 27, 2023 by ThousandMiles

[John Slayne]

26 minutes ago, littlebodybigheart said:

well if they didn’t care to hear different opinions, they wouldn’t be on here asking

 

and that’s 2 very different things. one is starting something with someone when you know from the get-go that person isn’t going to be in your life anymore, and the other one is intending for somebody to be in your life for a while but as the relationship develops then you find out it’s not gonna work out or your needs change. apples and oranges.

that's fair, i'm not saying you're wrong! 

 

all i'm saying is that even failed relationships and bad experiences can serve a purpose and not just be a waste of time.