discussion Does "Let love find you" only work for straight couples?

[Josh]

I've always been told don't go looking for love let it find you but when you live in a Rural republican state kinda hard do so. With gay men you first have to first see if he's even gay and out of the closet.

 

at least with straight people they can find their significant other just walking into a Starbucks

[GentleEarthquake]

Yes but looking for love doesn't work for me neither

[Big Bad Wolf]

Sure it's easier, but there's still tons of straights who are perpetually single. Gay or not you still have to put in work to find companionship especially as you get older.

[Josh]

3 minutes ago, Big Bad Wolf said:

Sure it's easier, but there's still tons of straights who are perpetually single. Gay or not you still have to put in work to find companionship especially as you get older.

but the majority of straights still have a higher chance of marriage then gays

[GraceRandolph]

It’s pretty bad advice for gays tbh. Unless you’re a total social butterfly. 

[Big Bad Wolf]

1 minute ago, Josh said:

but the majority of straights still have a higher chance of marriage then gays

Less gay men want to marry. You can still find a relationship tho

[kimberly]

from a statistical perspective, you're definitely right.

 

but I do think this mantra applies to queer people in urban centers as well. it works as long as you can surround yourself with queer people and do queer activities.

 

2 minutes ago, Big Bad Wolf said:

Less gay men want to marry. You can still find a relationship tho

definitely a good point.

 

straight people have societal pressure to race against the clock and pump out children, build a family. (most) queer people don't feel the same, naturally. so straight people settle or get into unhealthy marriages much quicker.

[Curaga]

It’s not impossible. I met my fiancé through a mutual friend who thought we’d be a good match, and we absolutely were! Been together for 5 years and now we are planning our wedding. 

[ThousandMiles]

Definitely easier for straight people by a landslide, unless you actively surround yourself with queer people or live in a city with a prominent queer scene. If you live in the suburbs and work somewhere like a grocery store then your options will be slim and your standards will have to be very low. 

[Adam’s Eve]

1 hour ago, ThousandMiles said:

Definitely easier for straight people by a landslide, unless you actively surround yourself with queer people or live in a city with a prominent queer scene. If you live in the suburbs and work somewhere like a grocery store then your options will be slim and your standards will have to be very low. 

Welp, time to move I guess 

[St. Charles]

Their dating pool is around 20x bigger. 

[ErnieSwift]

In my experience as a 24 year old trans woman who grew up and lives in a Texas town that is still semi-conservative, I've found that a lot of guys want to have illicit sexual encounters, but they don't particularly want to date me, and I've found it soooooo discouraging and frustrating. I know there are guys out there who probably would love me for me, but so far, it's been so hard.

[Tropez]

Straight people are the majority. You can meet the love of your life as a straight person at a grocery store, on the metro, even in waiting room. Gay people don’t have this ability because the chance that the person you find attractive is also gay is very slim. On top of that, gay people want sexual compatibility. 
 

There’s also social expectations. Straight people are expected to be married and have children by their 30s. They played the dating game since their teens. So they know what to expect. Gay people do not. They are late bloomers, and don’t have the social pressure to marry and settle down. It’s why the rate of loneliness is high among gay men in particular. 
 

So no, gay men have to actually put themselves out there. 

[Cheers]

Yea it's easier for our heterosexual peers for sure.

 

Unless you live in like Miami or something it's hard to just run into gays outside of a gay bar or hookup app. 

[Strawberry Bubble]

Yes, but it depends a lot on your personality. I know a bunch of good-looking straight people that just don't find love. 

[SweetTalker]

I mean in your case, sure.