discussion does it matter: knowing if your crush is a top/bottom before dating?

[RideOrDie]

5 minutes ago, Badgalbriel said:

iPhone users are bottoms, Android users are tops. 

[Lemon]

Sex may be overrated, but sexual fullfilment is very important, so I would say it’s important. 

[YourNumber1Witch]

39 minutes ago, Kimi said:

When I was much younger dumb ass thought that too and ended up in a terrible relationship because of it. 

I don’t mean necessarily personality traits, I mean literally sex positions. Unless you literally mean that as well, in which case I am genuinely intrigued 

[Raver]

Very important even for a quick hook up. 

[Apostolis]

yes i only date people with tight holes 

[brenda-walsh]

i actually just stopped talking to a guy because he asked me this before we even met up. i understand sexual compatibility is important but also getting to know your potential partner and being attracted to them for their personality and not just a sexual position is important.

 

i'm vers so it doesn't really matter either way, but i think its weird when guys ask this before the 3rd date. 

 

and usually when guys ask this when saying their looking to date, it means they're actually looking for a hookup

[ImpressMeMuch]

53 minutes ago, ScorpiosGroove said:

y’all don’t have a top/bottom radar when you go on dates ? 

This lol. I’ve seen it way too many times and it doesn’t end well.

[FlyOnTheWall]

Gays that aren't vers to some degree are highly suspect to me, so i wouldn't even bother in the first place with someone who's strictly one or the other 

 

Actually i just remembered that my boyfriend and me didn't even talk about that til after a couple of dates and it was the same with my last ex and sex was never a problem in the end. If you love eachother it should be easy to make it work somehow if both really want to 

Edited December 13, 2023 by FlyOnTheWall

[Into The Void]

Eh i haven't dated in so long it does not matter anymore

[DamianSolo]

Yes, it matters, because I don't want to waste my time—as someone who's fully versatile—with someone who's dead set about not wanting to top or bottom, at all. Whomever I end up with will have to be fully versatile.

[every1blinks]

1 hour ago, glitch said:

It doesn't matter to me no. I think on hookup apps like Grindr it's fine to ask, but on a more traditional dating app I don't really like talking about sex with someone I've just met. When it comes to that time we can talk about it.

 

I'm of the opinion that sex is just sex and if you're attracted to the other person you'll be able to figure it out. Anal is not the be all and end all of sex for gay men.

Say it again !!

[Gov Hooka]

Thank god I’m verse 

[Sawk]

I mean, I’m not going to ask before going on a date, but I would prefer my boyfriend be a top, I do also enjoy topping, but in hookups because I’m not giving my h*le to random man. Boyfriend tho? He gets to own me 

[Aaron]

No and it’s actually sad how much people wrap themselves up in these roles/identities. 

[GentleEarthquake]

A relationship goes further than a seggsual role

[DAP]

Yes, I’m not interested in topping ever. 

[WildOne]

1 hour ago, brenda-walsh said:

i'm vers so it doesn't really matter either way, but i think its weird when guys ask this before the 3rd date. 

wow 3 dates before TALKING about sex?? It’s rare I get to date 3 without having sex haha…

 

I’m vers too, but not in the “I’m vers so I doesn’t matter” way. I’m vers in the “you better be vers too way” bc I want to top and bottom regularly. So yeah, I’m not spending 3+ evenings of my time and 100+ doll hairs getting to know a guy who’s not also vers. 

[katara]

Yes I need them to be vers like me (and I mean truly vers and not bottoms camouflaging as vers). 

 

I like topping more so another top would never work. A bottom would work more but I also need to be topped every couple months. A vers bottom would be ideal. 

[katara]

15 minutes ago, WildOne said:

wow 3 dates before TALKING about sex?? It’s rare I get to date 3 without having sex haha…

 

I’m vers too, but not in the “I’m vers so I doesn’t matter” way. I’m vers in the “you better be vers too way” bc I want to top and bottom regularly. So yeah, I’m not spending 3+ evenings of my time and 100+ doll hairs getting to know a guy who’s not also vers. 

Usually I have sex in the second date. Sexual compatibility is very important despite some prudes here acting differently. The earlier I find out if we compliment each other the better so we don't waste each others time. 

 

 

[TaggedGalaxy]

I only date tops 

[brenda-walsh]

1 hour ago, WildOne said:

wow 3 dates before TALKING about sex?? It’s rare I get to date 3 without having sex haha…

 

I’m vers too, but not in the “I’m vers so I doesn’t matter” way. I’m vers in the “you better be vers too way” bc I want to top and bottom regularly. So yeah, I’m not spending 3+ evenings of my time and 100+ doll hairs getting to know a guy who’s not also vers. 

i rather get to know them first as a person and become attracted to them that way before *******. i guess everyone is different but 3rd date is the perfect mark for me to talk about/ have sex. 

[Maroonx]

It really depends on the person and their attitude idk. I think that if you really like someone you'll make it work (and that includes topping or bottoming for someone). Like someone else said in this topic, there are also other ways to enjoy sex/intimacy x

[Maroonx]

3 hours ago, brenda-walsh said:

i actually just stopped talking to a guy because he asked me this before we even met up. i understand sexual compatibility is important but also getting to know your potential partner and being attracted to them for their personality and not just a sexual position is important.

 

i'm vers so it doesn't really matter either way, but i think its weird when guys ask this before the 3rd date. 

 

and usually when guys ask this when saying their looking to date, it means they're actually looking for a hookup

You know, it's funny how you said that, coz now that I think about it, all the guys I properly dated and got into a relationship with NEVER asked about positions nor disclosed what they were into... when it came time for us to have sex, it happened so naturally without either one of us explicitly telling each other what positions we were.

 

 

3 hours ago, Raver said:

Very important even for a quick hook up. 

For a hookup, I do think it's important, especially if you're looking for a "hit it then quit it" LOL

 

 

1 hour ago, WildOne said:

wow 3 dates before TALKING about sex?? It’s rare I get to date 3 without having sex haha…

 

 

Lol one of my relationships it took us meeting/going on dates 5-6 times before we got naked and fooled around. It is rare to find people that want to take it slow.

[Namie-Knowles]

The verse agenda in this thread. 

 

Honestly I am a pure top, I don't like bottoming and never will. It literally ruins sex for me tbh because during and after I'm just so out of it. I think my hole doesn't have any of those pleasure points other gays have and I can't even get off to it mentally no matter how hard I try. And I hate pretending to like something in bed to my partner cause I feel as if it's dishonest and manipulative.

 

So I only date bottoms and that's it, but if I did really really vibe with a truly verse guy and we wanted to move forward I'm okay with opening the relationship so he can find others to top. 

[scenekiller]

yall "just be vers" people are so annoying. Sounding just like the "just be straight/try sleeping with a woman" gp 

 

There's nothing wrong with being vers but believe it or not, some people have tried and do only enjoy one or the other.