discussion post a red flag when dating

[HRHCOLLECTION]

doesn't take initiative and just lets me come up with ideas, make decisions etc.

 

also if he doesn't pay at least at first, it's over 

[Garbaj]

If they're calling their parents 95% of the day, or are always asking somebody else for money.... 

[dumbsparce]

When they make a big deal out of me not being open enough or needing my alone time during the first few months of getting to know each other. Like, let me breathe a bit. I didn't know you even existed a month ago.

Edited December 4, 2023 by dumbsparce

[Badgalbriel]

Idk. I've had such a great experience with the two boyfriends I've ever had (my ex, it lasted for 4 years, and my current, we're together for 4.5 years now) that I just don't really think I've ever been exposed to red flags. 

 

I've always been very patient and let people take their time to solve their ****.

 

When I met my current boyfriend, he didn't have a job yet and had to rely on his parents' money. People would say that's a red flag, but I saw that he was trying hard. Now he has a great job and I'm the one thinking about dropping off of mine so I can get my sanity back. 

 

My first boyfriend was also a very good person. However, he relied too much on his rich parents despite him having a great job. They bought him an apartment, they bought him a car. His only problem is that he was 30 with a mindset of a 22yo and I think that was because of the way his parents always provided for him. I eventually lost interest in him and we broke up, after 4 years. 

 

But what I want to say here is that I think I can deal with some red flags and I have not been exposed to many of them. 

 

I'm 28 and since I was 18, I've only been single for less than 6 months, so I don't know... 

 

I'd hate to be single again, though. 

Edited December 4, 2023 by Badgalbriel

[Raptus]

When he has these

 

[aesthetic bih]

Treats other people horribly

 

Acting immature and not speaking up when something's bothering them / can't handle criticisms

[sh0ckw4ves]

38 minutes ago, dumbsparce said:

Like, let me breathe a bit. I didn't know you even existed a month ago.

This is such a huge point. I think because most people are matching on Tinder/meeting on Social Media then they forget that they literally do not know you because you instantly see so many pictures/read a bio and know a lot more than if you met in person. 
 

People are expecting 24/7 contact from the first swipe and it’s so intensely overbearing 

[Venice B]

34 minutes ago, Badgalbriel said:

But what I want to say here is that I think I can deal with some red flags and I have not been exposed to many of them. 

That's because you're a grown, rational adult who knows things are not as black and white as most people make them out to be. Like is2g but nowadays everything is a red flag and I'm not even taking in consideration some people on this thread because I think they're (hopefully) joking but if you scroll through twitter or sum people will say the smallest of the struggles are a red flag. Red flags are supposed to be abusive behaviour, psychotic tendencies, no perspective in life etc but for some people a red flag is "oh no they took a frie from my plate" like... not to mention people who would drop their partner in a heartbeat if any struggle came up, these people are not meant to be in a relationship.

 

If you can't work out little issues with your partner and don't have the ability to navigate through hardships then THAT'S a red flag.

[CBC]

atrl account, black nails, android (poor), small d\ck, femme voice

[Bussea]

being rude or impatient to service people, being transphobic, bisexual men who speak in heteronormative terms or acting as if i’m a backup, not respecting my time and life outside of the relationship, being unnecessarily loud, being in other people’s business and being overly dramatic and reactionary for little to no reason 

Edited December 4, 2023 by Cult Leader 𐕣𐕣

[Bussea]

1 hour ago, sh0ckw4ves said:

This is such a huge point. I think because most people are matching on Tinder/meeting on Social Media then they forget that they literally do not know you because you instantly see so many pictures/read a bio and know a lot more than if you met in person. 
 

People are expecting 24/7 contact from the first swipe and it’s so intensely overbearing 

oh my god this too. if you can’t understand I have a LIFE and i’m not going to be in a constant contact with you, then you can find someone else  like I understand if I go weeks without talking to you, but if it’s been like an hour and I don’t respond, please don’t blow my phone up and act like I “ghosted you”

[iheartshania]

I went to a guy's apartment this past weekend, mostly with the intention to make music and have a jam session, but there was definitely a mutual attraction as well. 

 

The thing is, he didn't clean his toilet. Like, it wasn't disgusting, but a quick scrub with a toilet brush makes all the difference 

 

How are you gonna have a cute guy come over, meet him for the first time, and not clean your toilet? 

 

[Asscatchem]

13 minutes ago, iheartshania said:

I went to a guy's apartment this past weekend, mostly with the intention to make music and have a jam session, but there was definitely a mutual attraction as well. 

 

The thing is, he didn't clean his toilet. Like, it wasn't disgusting, but a quick scrub with a toilet brush makes all the difference 

 

How are you gonna have a cute guy come over, meet him for the first time, and not clean your toilet? 

 

just curious, what phone did he use? 

[Khal]

Stans SZA and or The Weeknd.

[Legend E]

having an android

[Raptus]

2 hours ago, CBC said:

atrl account, black nails, android (poor), small d\ck, femme voice

Almosst 14k posts and THAT'S the "funniest" you could think of ?

[Raptus]

2 hours ago, iheartshania said:

I went to a guy's apartment this past weekend, mostly with the intention to make music and have a jam session, but there was definitely a mutual attraction as well. 

 

The thing is, he didn't clean his toilet. Like, it wasn't disgusting, but a quick scrub with a toilet brush makes all the difference 

 

How are you gonna have a cute guy come over, meet him for the first time, and not clean your toilet? 

 

Maybe you gave off a desperate vibe so he though he doesn't have to?

 

[John Slayne]

making it a point to tell you that they're friends with all of their exes. i've actually had this one happen twice and both times it felt like the guys were trying to convince me how chill, friendly, and sociable they are when their vibes were nothing of the sort. 

 

for the record, i don't think being friends with your exes is bad, but wearing it as badge of honour is very sus to me. the guys in question struck me as manipulative and i'm a good judge of character, so i didn't date either of them for long. 

[CBC]

2 hours ago, Raptus said:

Almosst 14k posts and THAT'S the "funniest" you could think of ?

well dang lemme try again

 

ot: people who eat icelandic salmon 

[P.O.P]

22 hours ago, CBC said:

atrl account, black nails, android (poor), small d\ck, femme voice

Omg that's my grindr bio

[Cottonmouth]

You being always the one to initiate and make all the plans 

[GraceRandolph]

Religion

[Tropez]

On 12/4/2023 at 7:12 AM, HRHCOLLECTION said:

doesn't take initiative and just lets me come up with ideas, make decisions etc.

 

 

I hate, HATE this. Guys that expect you to do everything, and make every decision. These guys just irritate me. 

[Joyride]

do not date people with avoidant personality

[Cannon]

Liars, especially people who mislead you or lie to you about their professional/educational history.