discussion If he wanted her to abort and she didn’t want to, should he still pay child support?

[Weld_E]

I was having this discussion with my friend the other day. For full disclosure, I am pro-choice and believe in a woman’s right to do whatever she decides to her body. 
 

Let’s say a man gets a woman pregnant, and early on he tells her that he wants her to abort. He says he has no desire to be a father. However, she decides to keep the baby.  Should the man then be legally obliged to pay child support for a child he did not want?

[JonginBey]

If no preventative measures were taken, then clearly he wanted to be a father. Pay up 

[LustSpell]

If they did not use contraception then I don't care. You should know the risks of sex while doing it as a grown ass adult. If preventative measures were taken and the low chance s still happened, then I wouldn't support him having to pay child support knowing he did his part.

[PrettyHurts]

yes you should know pregnancy is a possibility 

[Devin]

if preventative measures were taken …

 

how is it fair to force a man to provide financial child support if the woman he impregnated chose to keep and rise the child?

[glitch]

If you're having (heterosexual) sex, there is a chance you will conceive. If you use protection that chance is reduced, but it's still there nevertheless.

 

I think if you're in a relationship or even if it's someone you're regularly sleeping with then yes you have a responsibility for that child. If it's a one night stand then it's a bit more iffy imo. 

 

Personally, I would not be able to know I'd fathered a child and subsequently actively avoid being in that child's life. The way a lot of people reduce this to paying child support is a bit sad in a way. That's still your child whether you like it or not. If you don't want to see them or be in their life, the least you could do would be help to pay for their clothes and food.

[Big Bad Wolf]

Well yes, they should still pay child support as the child's father. This is why men need to practice safe sex. There's too many men out here wanting to rawdog, won't have sex any other way, then want to be absolved of any responsibility or consequence. 

[byzantium]

So I am assuming all parties are acting in good faith here.  
 

When engaging in sexual activity, there is plenty of notice that pregnancy can occur.  If the Man does not want a pregnancy then it is their responsibility to do whatever they can on their end to prevent conception.  This can include, a condom, male birth control, and probably a bunch of other things that straight people can look into.  
 

Past the point of conception, the decision making is entirely in the hands of the woman.  While the man can certainly ask for an abortion, it does not absolve him of any moral responsibility to the child.  There are plenty of legitimate reasons why the woman might not want to undergo the procedure and the man should respect that. 
 

If the man is not comfortable with this dynamic, then they should probably refrain from having sex until they are comfortable with it.  

[K$Ellie]

yeah if a woman can back out of a pregnancy in places where abortion is legal then i don’t see why a man shouldn’t have the same right. it shouldn’t matter if they used protection, the same argument could be used against abortion that it should only be allowed where preventive measures were taken but you can’t enforce that ffff

 

most arguments used here would mean people who give children up for adoption should pay child support because it’s their responsibility and they brought a child into this world

Edited November 9, 2023 by K$Ellie

[KatyPrismSpirit]

wtf is this question? of course. you cant abandon your obligations because you cant take responsibility. pregnancy is always a possibility, even with conception.

[brenda-walsh]

yes, he is the one who got her pregnant after all

[KatyPrismSpirit]

17 minutes ago, Devin said:

if preventative measures were taken …

 

how is it fair to force a man to provide financial child support if the woman he impregnated chose to keep and rise the child?

how is it fair for the child to be put into this world by someone who wanted to have sex and not take his responsibilities, thus ruining your life quality. men need to pay and make efforts to be in the lives of children they fathered. mistake or not.

[DeadInside]

Yes. Also, if that was a law literally every absent father would use that as an excuse not to pay 

[glitch]

I think often people have this attitude that abortion is super easy to do. Lots of women don't have access to safe and legal abortions. It's also not a decision most people take lightly. Regardless of your views around when life starts, it can still be a pretty traumatic process to go through and it's a really big decision to make. A lot of women, even those that are pro choice, would not themselves abort a baby. When you're pregnant, your body is flooding you with hormones and telling you you have to do everything humanly possible to protect this potential new life. To abort that baby is quite literally going against your natural instincts.

 

So if the woman has to deliver and look after that baby, so should the man.

[Folklore89sm]

It’s actually an interesting point to raise. 

[BrokenMachine]

Of course, if you do what it's done to make babies, don't be surprised if a baby comes 

 

And it has been said tons of times but since it's her body, it's just her choice

[Danny789]

A man should never asked a woman to get an abortion. He needs to let her know asap how involved he wants be, and if he wants to walk away he should have that right and sign something legally giving away his rights as the father. If he sticks around for most of the pregnancy and dips when the baby is born then he should be bound to give support. 
 

Edited November 10, 2023 by Danny789

[byzantium]

16 minutes ago, K$Ellie said:

yeah if a woman can back out of a pregnancy in places where abortion is legal then i don’t see why a man shouldn’t have the same right. it shouldn’t matter if they used protection, the same argument could be used against abortion that it should only be allowed where preventive measures were taken but you can’t enforce that ffff

 

most arguments used here would mean people who give children up for adoption should pay child support because it’s their responsibility and they brought a child into this world

The woman can “back out” because she has control over her own person.  If the man is so concerned about this possibility they can control their own body and get a vasectomy.  

[BrokenMachine]

Also, telling a woman to abort her baby when she doesn't want to goes against her own human and reproductive rights

[Alldeezy]

yes ... he should of pulled out.

[Mitsouko]

Wear condoms and take birth control. Men: If you get a girl pregnant, prepare to pay sweetie! Ladies: If you get pregnant accidentally by a man who doesn’t want to be a father/shouldn’t be a father, you should probably abort sis!

[oceans]

one of the two candidates for president in argentina is proposing exactly this  

[X~MoviePoP]

Some instances..such as r*pe and also I guess if theres proof that she tricked him or is maliciously being pregnant as a way of financial gain (WITH PROOF), then no he shouldnt pay child support. 

 

But this is pretty rare to prove id think? 

[The7thStranger]

The issue with this question is that it's still centered around the parent.

 

You have to think about what is in the best interest of the child. If you willing had sex and accepted the risk, then you must also accept the consequence. If you don't want to be a father, get a vasectomy.

[Queen.]

I'm pro-life and I'm very happy for her wanting to keep the baby. But I think the man should still pay child support since it is still his child.