discussion I have a friend who is too clingy, how to deal with it ?

[MoonGoodandHappy]

I have a friend with whom I have worked in the same company for 1 year.  And this friend is too clingy.  When I'm at work and I talk to people other than her, she gets upset.  I have a 30 minute break at work and sometimes I decide to be with other work colleagues and she starts bombarding me with calls to join her.  And she calls me on the phone several times every day and when I don't answer because I have a life, she gets upset.  Every morning very early, she sends me messages and I start to feel too overwhelmed.  When she calls me to go out and I say I don't want to, she forces me to go out by harassing me.  One day, she had a date with a man and very late in the evening, she called me to tell me how it happened and told me that she "almost came to my house" without warning to tell me about it" while  'it was at night.

I'm really tired of her. 

 

I've never had a day where she didn't call me.  Plus, I'm starting to no longer enjoy our friendship because she's the type of person who criticizes everyone, says insults all the time and that's everything I don't want to become.  Once, she hit me “for fun” and I was in pain and she was laughing.  I told her to stop but sometimes she starts hitting me again.  I do not know what to do.  I get messages all the time.

One day I told her a "secret" and she repeated it to some people.  I'm tired....

 

 What should I do? 

Edited November 4, 2023 by MoonGoodandHappy

[May]

what the hell

[magazine]

Be grateful you have them!

[glitch]

She doesn't sound like a very good friend tbh. I think you need to tell her how her behaviour makes you feel. If she responds positively then great, if not then it's no loss from the sounds of it 

[D.Va]

"Once, she hit me “for fun” and I was in pain and she was laughing.  I told her to stop but sometimes she starts hitting me again.  I do not know what to do.  I get messages all the time.

One day I told her a "secret" and she repeated it to some people.  I'm tired...."

That's not a friend sis ? 

 

If she is as terrible as you described, I'm sure you are not and won't be the first person to leave her. I have a feeling she will hit you with the "why does everyone leave ?" shtick to make you feel guilty.

If you are confrontational, tell her everything to her face (while still being calm) and if you aren't just answer her calls less and less and avoid any contact as much as possible, I'm sure she'll get the hint at some point.

Edited November 4, 2023 by D.Va

[Rider]

Hit her back

 

[ariananext]

Friends shouldn't bring negative energy into your life, I had a friend who had some similar traits to yours and at some point I talked to her and told her I felt like our friendship had come to an end, she was really sad about it and eventually turned bitter but I've never regretted it. 

Edited November 4, 2023 by ariananext

[Trent W]

Put some limits or let her go

 

These type of people are usually toxic and get on the way of many things

 

If I were in your situation I would slowly fade into the dark, everyday answer their messages but every passing day less and less. Engage less in their drama, slowly pull away. Be there but not that present, just slowly going away.

 

If you get into a dramatic split they are going to make a big deal out of it, and nothing good will come out.

 

If you wanna keep the friendship just establish limits, but by the way you describe her, she won’t accept them.

 

[thatsmydemi]

Tell her. If she gets mad at you, it's a win. 

[James_Dean]

Ghost ha 

[GeeDuval]

Sounds like bootleg version of Regina George. 
 

walk away while you still can. If she told your secret to others that was your chance to walk away.

[KatyPrismSpirit]

let her go. i experienced this in high school. these people most of the times have underlying problems and by being clingy they vent it onto you.  

[GeeDuval]

11 minutes ago, houdini said:

let her go. i experienced this in high school. these people most of the times have underlying problems and by being clingy they vent it onto you.  

Exactly. Gossip as a form of bonding is not okay. Just shows how insecure they are and their underlying unaddressed issues totally agree.

Edited November 4, 2023 by GeeDuval

[NeverReallyOver]

She probably has abandonment issues. She likes you as a friend but needs your constant reassurance to know you won't leave her, that's why she acts annoying and jelous. Some people are better at hiding it than others.

 

Talk to her if you're close and recomend her to go to therapy.

[All Guns Blazing]

You should tell her the issue you have as she’s probably unaware of how it’s affecting you. If she listens to what you say and changes they way she’s acting, then good but if she remains the same then you should drop her as a friend.

[May]

6 minutes ago, NeverReallyOver said:

and recomend her to go to therapy.

imagine ur friend sitting u down for a serious talk and advising u go to therapy omg id kms 

[drivers license]

26 minutes ago, magazine said:

Be grateful you have them!

mess

[drivers license]

does she have a crush on you because this is all very weird

 

as someone who had a crush / obsession, i know this very well & vise versa. this behavior is more near this situation rather than just friendship because friendship should be more chill without feeling trapped like this. seriously what the hell

[burninredhot]

Act like the clingy one instead so they ghost you and you don't even have to face the bad karma 

[Rush]

Quote

Once, she hit me “for fun” and I was in pain and she was laughing.  I told her to stop but sometimes she starts hitting me again.

This reminded me of Friends

[Breathe On Moi]

39 minutes ago, MoonGoodandHappy said:

Once, she hit me “for fun” and I was in pain and she was laughing.  I told her to stop but sometimes she starts hitting me again.  I do not know what to do.

omg  I think you need to call the cops

[LSD]

 

kick her ass out of your life.

[Rev8]

I've had people like that

and personal space is Very important to me. I've sent people away when they've come out of the blue to make me go out, without even warning me

 

Tell her that she is doing too much, be serious about it ANd about your personal space!

Ignore her, and when she gets mad - tell her she should think about Others. Put YOURSELF first.

 

If u are tiptoing around her, she will know that she can do whatever with u.

Be hard in your position.

[Gesamtkunstwerk]

Sorry, but chances are she has no other friends because she acts like that and you’re just the one who takes it.

 

Life is too short for such friendships, imo. 

[Breakdown]

I want a (boy)friend like that