discussion Do you think there's a leering/ogling problem among gays?

[BrentB]

Granted, there's a HUGE problem among str8s when it comes to leering/ogling - more specifically creepy str8 guys doing it towards woman more often than not - but I feel like this isn't nearly called out enough amongst gays. 

 

I've learned to ignore this when I have to deal with annoying creeper gay/bi guys (who seem to get younger & younger these days) and now, I actually make a sport out of ignoring the ENTIRETY out of an incubus ass ***** who insists on eying me for what feels like eternity because they know their ass is going home to their same, beat up dildo & never my piece  

 

Does anyone else notice this? And does this affect you or bother you? Discuss. 

[Femalien]

It's men period. And I enjoy being leered at as well as doing the leering 

 

I have induced gay panic in straight guys who have actually reported me to gym staff staring at them with a horny expression 

 

 

[Vespertine]

YES. I mean, it's all men of course, especially straight men to women, but I wish gays were more evolved.

 

This is going to sound really stupid (), but I never used to be able to see super sharply at a distance because I hated wearing contacts or glasses. I got my vision corrected with laser eye surgery recently, and now I actually notice how thirstily and blatantly gays stare, and I don't like it at all   Before I used to think my (female) friends were crazy when they swore they noticed guys blatantly checking me out, but now I see it. It's one thing at the bar or the club, but when I'm just walking down the street to pick up my morning coffee, you don't need to act like it's a ******* meat market. 

 

And since the OP mentioned bi guys, not to be ~biphobic~, but I've been shocked by the number of guys I've noticed doing this (to me or other guys) while literally walking arm-in-arm with their girlfriends. Have some shame and decency, boys. 

[BrentB]

27 minutes ago, Femalien said:

It's men period. And I enjoy being leered at as well as doing the leering 

 

I have induced gay panic in straight guys who have actually reported me to gym staff staring at them with a horny expression 

 

 

Uh yeah...sis . This is PRECISELY not it tbh. It's not cute, or a flex, at all to do this to people. Plus, it's all fun & games until you meet that one garden knome with a pot belly & a wandering eye, who becomes a long-time employee @ ur job (aka your karma ).

 

 

Edited November 1, 2023 by BrentB

[Goaty]

Yes BUT I enjoy the stares. 

[Illuminati]

Gays didn't "evolve" past it because its how you used to spot other gays before the apps. I personally don't have an issue with it, you can always just tell them it makes you uncomfortable

[TheLastChord]

Everybody does a "quick look" but yeah, I kinda agree men(straight or gay) do sometimes stare for too long. 

 

 

[ThousandMiles]

Absolutely. In my experience as a young 20’s it’s always older mid-30’s-40’s single gay men. They are always so creepy and overly flirty, to a point where I am extremely uncomfortable in their presence. It also seems like whatever I try to do to show them I’m NOT interested (ignoring messages, blanking them etc) they don’t seem to get the message. I am experiencing this at my workplace now. 

[brenda-walsh]

its nice depending on if i find the guy attractive or not 

 

last week at the gym i caught two guys staring at my bulge. one was some old white man who staring way too long and the other was a buff black guy who later tapped me on grindr 

[Vespertine]

10 minutes ago, Illuminati said:

Gays didn't "evolve" past it because its how you used to spot other gays before the apps. I personally don't have an issue with it, you can always just tell them it makes you uncomfortable

There’s a difference between a knowing glance between fellow homosexuals and guys you aren’t attracted to literally eyefucking you even after you don’t show interest back though

[ThousandMiles]

23 minutes ago, Femalien said:

It's men period. And I enjoy being leered at as well as doing the leering 

 

I have induced gay panic in straight guys who have actually reported me to gym staff staring at them with a horny expression 

 

 

Security!

[Antikythera]

Where I am from, Brazil, our away of flirt is looking kind insisting. While I was living in Europe I would do it in a very predatory way when somewhere where people are open to date, like clubs.

 

I found out this turn on people, a lot! A lot of men love to be "hunted".

 

I know this is not politically correct,  but it was my reality.

 

I wouldnt say a word and already be kissing.

 

This is hot to me and like a said NO ONE EVER had a negative reaction.

 

Maybe I choose well or I can read people well and I always do that to people who love it.

 

I dont care if someone is looking, even if im not attracted, depending on the situation I want them to watch more lol

 

But I also know how to say "hey, nothing against u, but i dont feel a connection".

 

Now there are people who wont take no for an answer and can be very heavy and then I also know how to say "**** OFF!" and make the person physically leave me alone. Problem is some love that too.

 

Im very goofy and always end up being funny. If someone watches me that much, I would invite them to see what I got and even touch it, so they can move on. 

 

In a gym I wouldnt do it because my life cant be a porn movie. Here the gyms are known for guys having sex there is a bunch of leaked videos out there.

 

In a club ok, or even cruising, I think u can be kinda predatory in the gay world, in the sense of looking right inside a strangers eyes till he feels horny.

[Apolonio ₃₄]

I don’t know. I do it all the time and I find it very annoying.  

[LoveInStereo]

Women have it a lot worse, for starters. And any comments placing emphasis on looks & age are rly revealing. Don’t act like it’s about your autonomy or rejecting objectification if the only instances you don’t like that behaviour are if it’s coming from an ugly guy you don’t wanna ****. As long as you don’t approach me, idgaf, how does someone else appreciating my appearance from a distance impact my life at all? It’s like some of you are offended at the notion people would dare be attracted to you if they don’t meet your criteria. I don’t relate at all. Don’t touch me or talk to me & idc wtf you’re thinking, it bares 0 relevance to me at all?

[Cannon]

I only did the gay stare once and I was 15. I was on an escalator and there was a clean cut man who was looking up at me. Since the escalator was pulling me away I had the confidence to maintain the stare. He followed me up, asked me how old I was and then immediately left after I told him. 
 

nowadays I don’t have the nerve to stare at people too long.

[Orsay]

I just look away and get scared oop-

 

But it’s kinda flattering at the same time tbh

[Yoko]

gay men are men at the end of the day 

[Domination]

1 hour ago, Antikythera said:

Where I am from, Brazil, our away of flirt is looking kind insisting. While I was living in Europe I would do it in a very predatory way when somewhere where people are open to date, like clubs.

 

I found out this turn on people, a lot! A lot of men love to be "hunted".

 

I know this is not politically correct,  but it was my reality.

 

I wouldnt say a word and already be kissing.

 

This is hot to me and like a said NO ONE EVER had a negative reaction.

 

Maybe I choose well or I can read people well and I always do that to people who love it.

 

I dont care if someone is looking, even if im not attracted, depending on the situation I want them to watch more lol

 

But I also know how to say "hey, nothing against u, but i dont feel a connection".

 

Now there are people who wont take no for an answer and can be very heavy and then I also know how to say "**** OFF!" and make the person physically leave me alone. Problem is some love that too.

 

Im very goofy and always end up being funny. If someone watches me that much, I would invite them to see what I got and even touch it, so they can move on. 

 

In a gym I wouldnt do it because my life cant be a porn movie. Here the gyms are known for guys having sex there is a bunch of leaked videos out there.

 

In a club ok, or even cruising, I think u can be kinda predatory in the gay world, in the sense of looking right inside a strangers eyes till he feels horny.

Very erotic, thank you for sharing.

[Odette Violet]

Yes but I haven't experience it  myself. I'm introverted ash 

[feelslikeadream]

I never stare at men (I don't wanna set off some straight man ), but when I pass a man in public, I do instinctively look at his d to see if there's a bulge. Especially in the warmer months when they're wearing shorts or in the fall with sweatpants. Is that part of the problem?

[yonsé]

It’s a remnant of cruising culture. Y’all are young so you’re only used to app-cruising but back in the day (and sometimes now at sex clubs or bathouses if you’re sl*tty) the only way men would make connection or confirm their mutual attraction is through extended and maintained eye contact. 

[Vitaly]

Idk, with gays, is understandable. Many are coming from closeted backgrounds, some are still. So staring is one of the easiest way to see of someone is interested. Gay clubs itself is/was the place where people go to see and be seen.

Also in our community, stuffs like that can also means they are currently cruising, so when that happen, I would think if I am at the cruising spot. 

[Into The Void]

I have never noticed guys staring at me. Is that a problem?

[Dula Peep]

you either get stares if you’re attractive or you’re really ugly… so take it as a compliment that you’re not average! 

[dumbsparce]

It only bothers me if they come up to me later and try to start a conversation. Like, your bulging eyes were hard to ignore but I still did. Don't force me to tell you you're ugly as **** right in your (ugly) face.

Edited November 3, 2023 by dumbsparce