Cloudy Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 (edited) So I met this boy on 'certain app' and we had a couple of first "encounters" back in April and we've been hanging out since then, but after that it stopped, not because we stopped talking or anything, we talked pretty often during the week and we had similar interests, but everytime I tried to make an advance like kissing him or trying to have sex he would very awkwardly stop it (we haven't had sex since then) Then I thought well maybe he just wants to be friends, but then suddenly in August he started to be more involved and even booked for us to get a massage at the same time before he had to go visit his family for a month. So at that date after the massage the girls of the establishment left us alone in the room to dress up and relax, the atmosphere was very sensual needless to say and while I was cleaning up myself from the oil they used he came from behind grabbed my hips and tongued kiss me, hugged me and kissed my shoulder. Neither of us said a word and he was very clearly hard as so was I. So he leaves for a month and we keep in touch, however we never talked about what happened. When he comes back I was very excited to see him again, but the vibe became weird and he doesn't make any advances or reacts to mine. So here we are and I'm really torn and confused because I don't know what to do or say? Should I just be direct and ask him if he likes me and wants something more than friends? Edited October 19, 2023 by Cloudy
discosean Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 Perhaps he doesn't know what he wants. It's best to let this one go. 5
Kern Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 he wants you around but he doesn't want to be with you 3
Cloudy Posted October 19, 2023 Author Posted October 19, 2023 7 minutes ago, crymelanie said: Leave sis 3 minutes ago, original_lifeline said: sounds like a torture Just now, discosean said: Perhaps he doesn't know what he wants. It's best to let this one go. Just now, stupidjock said: he wants you around but he doesn't want to be with you I really like him and I care for him tho, I'm so torn apart
DoubleRainbow! Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 Men are like this, either you get used to it and wait for him to take the first step or you leave him
Kern Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 3 minutes ago, Cloudy said: I really like him and I care for him tho, I'm so torn apart I was like that to one guy because of how he treated me. I didn't want to be with him but I liked spending time with him. He obviously wanted me but eventually gave up 1
Selegend Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 (edited) u can try to talk to him but it's def a red flag when i think about u 2 having a serious relationship. i had a bf once that he was all about sex for months and then zero sex for months i thought it was cuz we had our problems and stuff or that he was cheating but nah years have passed and this is a thing he just... has. with everyone. i had evidence from a third party and we eventually got back together just for casual sex and it happened again and we talked about it and he told me it's just how he works. and no it's not 'normal moody' that everybody has he was literally ALL ABOUT KISSING AND SEX for MONTHS and suddenly ZEROOOO sex and almost-zero kissing for months it was terrible dating him and ur case seems worse. and it's not like we didn't have fire times again after the dry, we did! so it wasn't about our relationship it was about him but it was SOOOO weird it seemed like something was wrong with me u know? the way he avoided it was so hurting. talk to him and say that this is akward for you or leave. just don't 'accept it' cuz u like him, or talk with him or leave. he's being like this about physical touch will be a torture for you in the long run. Edited October 19, 2023 by Selegend
Reginald Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 This entire scenario sounds like Ava Max's "Torn" Find someone who will want you all the time!
Cloudy Posted October 19, 2023 Author Posted October 19, 2023 1 minute ago, Selegend said: u can try to talk to him but it's def a red flag when i think about u 2 having a serious relationship. i had a bf once that he was all about sex for months and then zero sex for months i thought it was cuz we had our problems and stuff or that he was cheating but nah years have passed and this is a thing he just... has. with everyone. i had evidence from a third party and we eventually got back together just for casual sex and it happened again and we talked about it and he told me it's just how he works. and no it's not 'normal moody' that everybody has he was literally ALL ABOUT KISSING AND SEX for MONTHS and suddenly ZEROOOO sex and almost-zero kissing for months it was terrible dating him and ur case seems worse. talk to him and say that this is akward for you or leave. just don't 'accept it' cuz u like him, or talk with him or leave. he's being like this about physical touch will be a torture for you in the long run. The thing is we recently started going to the gym together because we want to get an athletic body Maybe I should just rip the band aid and ask him directly, we he wants out of "us". He has been very important to me to get out of a dark place I was but I don't want to feel like I'm wasting time and specially because god knows I need sex and even though we aren't "anything" I feel kind of guilty
Hephaestus Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 Sounds like an average man to me, sigh. I wouldn't say drop him because there might be something there, but be upfront and ask him what he wants and decide what to do based on his answer.
Illuminati Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 If you have the patience it could develop into something. But I think asking him might be the way to go rather than waiting and potentially being disappointed
nostalgic Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 Well, yes? You can't expect someone to just know how you're feeling. Be direct and ask him what he wants so you don't waste any more of your time if there's nothing there.
bunnyeyes Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 He’s hooked on someone else and using you for attention when the other person is treating them like he’s treating you. I’m sorry, sis but seems obvious. You deserve better. 1 1
Tusk Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 If you have to even ask the question, then the answer is yes.
airplane Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 some people are just confused… it’s upto you if you want to deal with that and wait it out or let go
Bears01 Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 Yeah you’re wasting your time. Run for the hills before you get hurt. Maybe you running away will show him what he’s missing if he wants to keep playing games 1
Cain Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 Why don’t you just… talk about it ✨ It’s weird that people feel the need to assess other people’s emotions about them with others before the person themselves. If you are confused you can assume you have good reason to be and you can just ask him what he wants and where he sees this going If he’s a mature person he’ll answer honestly, if he’s not you’ll get a weird flakey answer and that’s when you know it’s time to go
GreatestLoveofAll Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 48 minutes ago, Hephaestus said: Sounds like an average man to me, sigh. I wouldn't say drop him because there might be something there, but be upfront and ask him what he wants and decide what to do based on his answer. honestly the same thing id say. OT: the quicker you can find some clarity the better you'll feel sis. ask him whats the deal and go from there cause i think you've reached a point where you care but its getting in your way and we dont need that.
Lose My Breath Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 I read this as: "am I wasting time with Bey", and I was going to say yes... And then I read your post, and I want to say yes again 1
Suspendedintheair Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 I was you a year ago. This thread’s existence is your answer.
ScorpiosGroove Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 too long to read sawry but if you have to ask : yes
selena_lavigne Posted October 19, 2023 Posted October 19, 2023 (edited) Men like this and me almost never work out. They are hot but too self-interested. It's up to you if you wanna put up with that BS. If he really wanted you he would be all over you all the time and not make you play his stupid games. There was this one guy though, that treated me like this at the beginning and then he planned this really f*cking romantic gesture, but it took years. sfhnopisdfgmoipgdrs I think sometimes they hold themselves back at the beginning to make it last a long time. SO, I WOULD SAY That he probably is considering you to be a longterm romantic partner of his and is testing the waters VERY SLOWLY. Have you heard "Baila Conmigo" by Selena Gomez? Well in that song she says "Kiss me, just once, so I have a reason to see you again." These kind of men give you JUST ENOUGH attention, so that you feel like you really like them, but are questioning their motives. They are MASTERMINDS. You are going to be extremely horny for this man. That's what he wants. Now, this part of the dating game can feel EXCRUTIATINGLY SLOW AND AGONIZING but if you wait long enough and SHUT UP then maybe it'll work. Because while these type of men, are THE F*CKING WORST they also happen to be the best ones to date. It's awful but true. So, it's up to you. Those are my two cents. Best of luck. Edited October 19, 2023 by selena_lavigne
Recommended Posts