GraceRandolph Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 I was just always reserved and a bit of a goody two shoes. I entered my twenties with only a few life experiences really. I didn’t date in high school, I didn’t drink, I didn’t party. I also just wasn’t super invested in planning for a future, and don’t have a lot of memories from that period. Luckily I did have some good friends, but overall I feel like I wasted them to some extent. Overall it just seems like everyone else is hardwired for navigating the world in ways I’m just not. I’ve always struggled to connect with people, and never shared interests with people around me. Even growing up with mostly female friends I felt like I was on the outside a lot of the times. Does anyone relate? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellenthin Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 Relate 100%. I feel like being a closeted gay contributed to it a lot tho. For me, there was just no courage to do anything. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zasderfght Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 (edited) I say this out of complete love: I think you might need a break from the Internet. Go for a walk. Go see the new Exorcist movie if that's your thing. Have a glass of wine or pop edibles with friends or family. Go to a dog park. There's feeling your negative emotions/thoughts/feelings, but then there's also holding on to them, which you don't want to do. You're supposed to process your negative feelings and acknowledge them, but then eventually you let them go. You can always message me if you're stuck on how to move forward-- just please don't stay stuck in the past! Edited October 7, 2023 by zasderfght Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgos Groove Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 Yes, but I try not to beat myself too much over it. What's past is past, and it's not like I had much of a choice as a closeted teenager in a small town. My focus is enjoying my 20s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthinos Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 I wasted my 20s. I'm now 29 and I plan to enjoy my 30s and just have fun. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraceRandolph Posted October 7, 2023 Author Share Posted October 7, 2023 4 minutes ago, zasderfght said: I say this out of complete love: I think you might need a break from the Internet. Go for a walk. Go see the new Exorcist movie if that's your thing. Have a glass of wine or pop edibles with friends or family. Go to a dog park. There's feeling your negative emotions/thoughts/feelings, but then there's also holding on to them, which you don't want to do. You're supposed to process your negative feelings and acknowledge them, but then eventually you let them go. You can always message me if you're stuck on how to move forward-- just please don't stay stuck in the past! I’m sick of distractions. All I want is a tangible fix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheep Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 It's never too late to live a little. Some people peak as children and others don't, both are valid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Jacobs Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 No tbh. I had great friends freat time in high school and a few fun crushes. Overall i am happy with my teen years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illuminati Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 Oh my god yes I've been trying (and failing) to catch up my entire life. Every monumental experience I had in my life came late because of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvadaKedavra Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 (edited) Childhood : Growin in a beautiful farm. Playing with animals. Havin so much fun in the 90s. Movin to a tiny town in the early 2000s. Bycicle rides around town. Friend trips and fun all day. Entertainment of all kinds. Happy Family. Great house. Livin the dream. Great grades. 10/10 Teenhood : My dad cheated and started to hate us. Bullied in an upper class high school. Got real bad anxiety issues. Friends left. Parents were hyper-religious and i was not allowed to do my own things. Basically a dumpster fire. Yes. I feel like i also missed my teenhood and is such a valuable time. I feel like i went from Kid to Young adult. I missed so many important things specially social skills I arrived to adulthood without knowin how to ride it. sometimes i feel like im stuck in my childhood stage. Now im in 30s relieving my teenhood slowly and gettin back all that lost time is never late to recover that lost piece from you Is never late to have tons of FUN!!! Dont give up sis. Lets live our adulthood but also live our TEENAGE DREAM! Lets go back to our glory days Edited October 7, 2023 by AvadaKedavra 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheers Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 Absolutely. And I feel like most LGBT individuals feel the same way. But all we can do is enjoy our adulthood and live to the max. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mordecai Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 (edited) I enjoyed my teen years, what I'm missing out on are my twenties I've got friends and thanks to uni I've learnt to enjoy my own company, but what I don't have is a core friendship group that you spend all your time with and do everything together. I think what I miss most is making shared memories. Throughout high school I had many core friendship groups and we were thick as thieves together, makes me miss those days even more </3 My form teacher would tell me repeatedly that she never kept in touch with anyone from high school and that her uni years were her best and I believed her had I not I probably wouldn't have neglected my high school friendships the way I did Edit: so if anyone here is from Auckland hmu cause I could do with some gay friends lmaooooo Edited October 7, 2023 by Mordecai 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kayseri Mantisi Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 i'll be 21 in 6 months and i already kinda relate to this due to being gay and living in a kinda homophobic country. like enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applestar Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 NURRP i slurped everything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blown away Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 Definitely. Being stuck with the Jehovah's Witnesses while still being in the closet = wasted teenage years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MusicLoverDude Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 5 minutes ago, Mordecai said: I enjoyed my teen years, what I'm missing out on are my twenties I've got friends and thanks to uni I've learnt to enjoy my own company, but what I don't have is a core friendship group that you spend all your time with and do everything together. I think what I miss most is making shared memories. Throughout high school I had many core friendship groups and we were thick as thieves together, makes me miss those days even more </3 My form teacher would tell me repeatedly that she never kept in touch with anyone from high school and that her uni years were her best and I believed her had I not I probably wouldn't have neglected my high school friendships the way I did I'm about to turn 30 in a few months and I feel this part especially. I LOVE my own company especially for going to the beach or the movies, but the opportunity to make memories with people is hard to come by the older I get. I moved away from my hometown the year before COVID hit and I was VERY socially isolated in both 2019 and 2020. I live in a pretty sketchy area now too. The only time I get to meet nicer people are when I go to work. I was very naive when I started my grocery store job in 2021 because most of my coworkers were close in age to me. I thought I'd be able to make friends there and make memories outside of work. Well, that ended up being few and far between and I ended up transferring to another store after a ton of drama. 2022 was a very bad year for me mentally because I felt so alone. My Dad also passed away along with my dog so it made it worse. Things have gotten better overtime though. I do have a couple friends down here now and I just need to keep up with them! And I'm making sure to keep up with old friends too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnigmaticAndroid Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 No. If anything, I did so much at the expense of my well-being and mental health that I ended up burning out throughout college. It's been very "1 step forward, 2 steps back" for me since the pandemic. Thankfully I'm still in the earlier part of my 20s and am trying regain control of my life path. I know that I can stop wasting time while I still have a good amount left. I completely understand what you're saying about not feeling like you're capable of handling life though. I can find it awkward to actively develop meaningful friendships, and hold myself back from acting on the ones I've made. Maybe you need a bit of a reset? Would it be possible to go on an inexpensive trip at some point? I find that getting away from whatever place I'm in and exploring somewhere else can be very renewing. Actively trying to break out my routine and gain new experiences has helped me reignite my spark for life at times. Keep a journal to track what you're feeling day by day so it doesn't all blend together. You can also use it to hold yourself accountable in achieving progress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trent W Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 Not really, I was an immature drunk, I experimented sexually with men and women and partied every weekend. I do think my 20s have been better and looking forward to my 30s/40s If you didn’t get to experience your teens, you will have a great time once you reach independence tho, seen that with friends who come from a conservative background. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiatus Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 My late teens definitely went to waste. So did my early 20s. I'm 25 now and 15 was my last decent year so in a way, I'm now back on track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glitch Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 Not even slightly. There's no one correct way to be a teenager. If I went back and changed it I wouldn't be where I am today, I might not have the same friends, the same job, the same interests, the same experiences etc. There's no point fretting about what could've been. Much better to focus on the present. I didn't go to parties, drink, take drugs, have sex etc because I wasn't ready to do any of those things. Forcing myself to do what was expected by my peers only would've made me miserable in the long run. And what difference does it make when you first do any of those things. It seemed important at the time but no one cares now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glitch Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 1 hour ago, Mordecai said: I enjoyed my teen years, what I'm missing out on are my twenties I've got friends and thanks to uni I've learnt to enjoy my own company, but what I don't have is a core friendship group that you spend all your time with and do everything together. I think what I miss most is making shared memories. Throughout high school I had many core friendship groups and we were thick as thieves together, makes me miss those days even more </3 My form teacher would tell me repeatedly that she never kept in touch with anyone from high school and that her uni years were her best and I believed her had I not I probably wouldn't have neglected my high school friendships the way I did Edit: so if anyone here is from Auckland hmu cause I could do with some gay friends lmaooooo I'm gonna be honest with you, core friendship groups, especially those that started in high school, are extremely overrated. Everyone I know who's in one has like one or two friends in the group and the rest they tolerate/dislike. People are so different as adults to when they were children and a lot of people force these groups because it's what they think they have to do. But in reality they're constantly falling out and bickering and would probably be better off only staying in contact with the people they actually like and have things in common with. And if there are people you fell out of touch with, just reach out to them and see how they're doing. The worst thing they can do is not respond. I've reconnected with people I haven't spoken to in 3/4 years a few times now and I've found people by and large are so happy that you've a) made an effort to reach out and b) remember them and want to pick up where you left off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imabadkid Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 No... not at all. I loved high school and had so much fun. I have so many fond memories from that time but it's also one of those things that u shouldn't give it too much thoughts after it ends. Everyone has diff experiences in their teenage years... it's part of growing up tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraceRandolph Posted October 7, 2023 Author Share Posted October 7, 2023 23 minutes ago, glitch said: Not even slightly. There's no one correct way to be a teenager. If I went back and changed it I wouldn't be where I am today, I might not have the same friends, the same job, the same interests, the same experiences etc. There's no point fretting about what could've been. Much better to focus on the present. I didn't go to parties, drink, take drugs, have sex etc because I wasn't ready to do any of those things. Forcing myself to do what was expected by my peers only would've made me miserable in the long run. And what difference does it make when you first do any of those things. It seemed important at the time but no one cares now. The present sucks too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
illia Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 Yes but I can't just go back in time and change anything so I don't even think about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glitch Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 15 minutes ago, GraceRandolph said: The present sucks too But the difference is you have a level of control over the present which you don't over the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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