discussion Why did my ex reach out after 3 months,and then disapear again ?

[easy HME]

So I have this weird situation.

My ex reached out to me after 3 months of no contact whatsoever. Him finding new bf etc. 

He reached out,was reacting to my insta stories for a while. And then outta blue started to talk to me. He invited me to spend winter holidays with him. And after few days of being in touch he is gone again. I've sent him a message 3 days ago that he didn't even open. And I know he is on his phone all the time. And whilst his insta description of "finding love is gone" his bf still has his of him being his man.

 

 

Like why would he do that to me just as I was getting over him,and was starting to feel like myself and enjoying life. And starting to look good and hot again ?

 

Especially bcz he knows I still love him and care about him. It just ****** me up again. 

Did I scare him with occasional messaging etc ? 

Should I ask him,or wait for him to reach out again ?

Or just let it go for good ?

[BOOMBAYAH]

Because he is most likely bored and a weirdo and you should in fact block him. 

[KKW]

To see if he’s still got an in with you. Men are weird like that

[Devin]

The answer is never make yourself seem available. 

[Red Velvet]

See if he could still get you for the confidence boost then left. 

[easy HME]

5 minutes ago, BOOMBAYAH said:

Because he is most likely bored and a weirdo and you should in fact block him. 

 

5 minutes ago, KKW said:

To see if he’s still got an in with you. Men are weird like that

 

3 minutes ago, Devin said:

The answer is never make yourself seem available. 

 

Just now, Red Velvet said:

See if he could still get you for the confidence boost then left. 

He is like super attractive and he knows it. And when we were together it always made me insecure when he would flirt with other guys or other guys would flirt with him in front of me.

 

So he doesn't care whatsoever bout me,it's just a game to him.? Or he was going trough some stuff with his new bf ?

[Maxxxine]

Apparently this happens very often. Was he the one that d*mped you? How long were you guys together before the breakup? 

[Twilish]

As toxic as it sounds i firmly believe maybe not just men specifically but people like the chase. If i had to guess he was feeling down on himself maybe didn’t get an answer from his man/ex? And needed a confidence boost so wanted to see if you’d still answer etc. Once he realized he still had you as backup then he’s bored again since it’s seen as “easy”. Sorry i don’t mean to come off harsh but just as a toxic man himself who is really working on curbing that, it happens more often than you’d think. You don’t deserve that sis. Next time he reaches out/if either don’t respond or give him short buddy buddy answers and leave it at that. You’ve shown yourself you can be fine on your own already so just do it again   People like that hate seeing others pay them no mind etc. 

[KKW]

1 minute ago, easy HME said:

 

 

 

He is like super attractive and he knows it. And when we were together it always made me insecure when he would flirt with other guys or other guys would flirt with him in front of me.

 

So he doesn't care whatsoever bout me,it's just a game to him.? Or he was going trough some stuff with his new bf ?

I’m sorry that you experienced that with him  
 

The answer to the first question is a bit complex because human beings are complex and only you two really know the ins-and-outs of the relationship. It could be a mix of both, but based on the context you added it sounds like it’s more of a game. And as far as going through things with his new bf, yes he could be. Or it could be a thing he realized the grass isn’t always greener.

 

Either way, what he’s doing isn’t right and it sounds like you dodged a bullet babe. I know it’s tough but there are better men waiting to meet you 

[easy HME]

1 minute ago, Maxxxine said:

Apparently this happens very often. Was he the one that d*mped you? How long were you guys together before the breakup? 

Yeah he dumped me. We were together off and on for a year or so. We broke up on out last trip together. Where he acted so strange from the get go. And then 1 month after we broke up he debuted his bf on social media.

 

[easy HME]

2 minutes ago, Twilish said:

As toxic as it sounds i firmly believe maybe not just men specifically but people like the chase. If i had to guess he was feeling down on himself maybe didn’t get an answer from his man/ex? And needed a confidence boost so wanted to see if you’d still answer etc. Once he realized he still had you as backup then he’s bored again since it’s seen as “easy”. Sorry i don’t mean to come off harsh but just as a toxic man himself who is really working on curbing that, it happens more often than you’d think. You don’t deserve that sis. Next time he reaches out/if either don’t respond or give him short buddy buddy answers and leave it at that. You’ve shown yourself you can be fine on your own already so just do it again   People like that hate seeing others pay them no mind etc. 

It just made me sad and and angry all.ober again. Like why would u mess with my head again and give me hope we could be together.

Maybe I did come off to strong with my messages etc. But I wasn't pushing for anything they were just friendly text every now and then.

 

And good for u for working on urself.

If only.i didn't book my flight ticket to see him on my winter Holidays 😞

[easy HME]

4 minutes ago, KKW said:

I’m sorry that you experienced that with him  
 

The answer to the first question is a bit complex because human beings are complex and only you two really know the ins-and-outs of the relationship. It could be a mix of both, but based on the context you added it sounds like it’s more of a game. And as far as going through things with his new bf, yes he could be. Or it could be a thing he realized the grass isn’t always greener.

 

Either way, what he’s doing isn’t right and it sounds like you dodged a bullet babe. I know it’s tough but there are better men waiting to meet you 

Thank you babe.

Am just sad and ****** up in head again.

It rook.me.mo the to stop thinking about him. And now once again he is all I think of. And us being in different continents atm due to work is making it even worse.

[Dolce Vita]

guys just want to check in on you and see if you want them/vice versa months after the breakup 

[Twilish]

Just now, easy HME said:

It just made me sad and and angry all.ober again. Like why would u mess with my head again and give me hope we could be together.

Maybe I did come off to strong with my messages etc. But I wasn't pushing for anything they were just friendly text every now and then.

 

And good for u for working on urself.

If only.i didn't book my flight ticket to see him on my winter Holidays 😞

I understand it’s easy to blame yourself and think you’ve messed up but you need to understand that at the end of the day no matter how you responded there’s a chance (i don’t want to 100% assume he has bad intentions since i don’t know either of you lol) he wasn’t reaching out for a good reason and no matter how you responded if his intentions aren’t good from the beginning you’d have just crashed and burned again down the road. If anything this should show you what you’re doing to improve yourself has been working as he clearly noticed you but now you just need to not fall back into being at his beck and call etc. Keep killing it and make him wonder what you’re up to and who you’re talking to, taste of his own medicine. Guys suck I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. If you bought a ticket already I’m the petty type that would be reaching out asking him to pay for it if he’s going to ghost  but that just shows his character and you shouldn’t want to be with someone who acts like that anyways no matter how attractive their outsides might be. Sorry I’m rambling as I’m a little high 

[Devin]

15 minutes ago, easy HME said:

He is like super attractive and he knows it. And when we were together it always made me insecure when he would flirt with other guys or other guys would flirt with him in front of me.

1. He knows ur weaknesses.

2. He knows u find him attractive.

3. You’re making yourself available.

 

These 3 components opens the door to easily manipulate, gaslight, and play games with you. If you change at least 2 of the 3 he will stop.

 

15 minutes ago, easy HME said:

So he doesn't care whatsoever bout me,it's just a game to him.? Or he was going trough some stuff with his new bf ?

It depends on the relationship and who did what to cause the demise. Most men who do this to they ex (regardless of the gender) is either 3 things:

 

A - (rarely common) he is still in love, coming to terms of being single or losing something good 

 

B - (very common) he is an ******* and its a psycho-ego boost bc hes familiar how you operate and making yourself available proves to him you are desperate, lonely, sad, or want him back. 

 

C - (modernly common) he wants to continue a friendship/situationship but is unsure how things will go in the long run

 

not tryna be harsh just laying out the facts no one deserves that toxic sh- 

[Donquizote]

He was probably bored. 

[Maxxxine]

6 minutes ago, easy HME said:

Yeah he dumped me. We were together off and on for a year or so. We broke up on out last trip together. Where he acted so strange from the get go. And then 1 month after we broke up he debuted his bf on social media.

 

Sounds like a case of he thought the grass would be greener on the other side and it turns out it wasn’t. And jumping into a rebound 1 month after a long term relationship is CRAZY. Almost guaranteed to never work out. Now he’s playing with inner dialogue about what he had with you. But know your worth and keep moving forward. Getting back together only works when enough time has passed and both parties have worked on themselves, acknowledged issues and grown. You’ve been working on yourself, he clearly hasn’t. It’s not worth your time right now. 

[BionicWooHoo]

Find an even hotter man to make him jealous 

[Rotunda]

26 minutes ago, easy HME said:

Yeah he dumped me. We were together off and on for a year or so. We broke up on out last trip together. Where he acted so strange from the get go. And then 1 month after we broke up he debuted his bf on social media.

 

So he clearly played you once and you’re making space for him to play you again? 

 

 

[Nazareth]

Seems like he’s coasting and thinking about leaving his boyfriend and start messing up your life again. My best advice is to not give in and block him if you haven’t already. if you’re not going to block then at least flaunt  your relationships and happiness on social media so he knows your good without him. He’ll come running, but don’t reply. Let him suffer 

[Cheers]

He was bored/horknee and knew you would reply

[glitch]

Yeah a rule for dating is when someone pops up after no contact for ages, don't bother to reply. Or give them a very dismissive response after making them wait a bit. They're just horny most likely 

[BOOMBAYAH]

Sister you need to GET UP! On top of you two already being over, he seems like a very shallow person. Even if he did want you back, which most likely is not the case, you should respect yourself enough to want better than someone like that. 

[Bussea]

he wanted some bussea and probably didn’t feel like pursuing anymore because he got it somewhere else. block him

 

[JonginBey]

He had a moment of weakness. People tend to get over it after a night of sleep.