discussion Is it fatphobic to tell someone they should lose weight?

[Lipgloss]

I had a friend who was experiencing health issues and complaining about his dating life, I told him he should lose weight to improve both and he got mad at me and said that was a fatphobic thing to say . I mean, objectively losing weight would help with both of those problems. I don't understand how it's fatphobic to state the obvious.

[May]

i mean probably but it’s on a personal case by case tbh

 

looking back at my fat era i wish more ppl would’ve called me a fat **** n told me to go lose weight , it would’ve motivated me earlier

[Axolotl]

I believe it largely depends on the delivery of the message.

[shyboi]

Short answer, yes. 

[vale9001]

Only in America. 

[Legend E]

yes, leave me alone

 

also that person probably knows all that OP, but it is not as easy as it seems to lose weight  hearing those things over and over again doesn't help

[Kummercell]

if it's uncalled for, yes

[tiagol88]

Just now, Legend E said:

yes, leave me alone

[Donquizote]

No, you are doing your friend a favor by asking him to avoid diabetes and stroke in the future. 

He should be grateful to have a friend like you. 

[MotoPapi]

It’s unnecessary. Especially at work, I never comment on someone’s weight wether they’re fat or skinny because I’m sure they’re aware and it might be due to a medical reason so it’s best to avoid commenting as to not hurt their feelings. 
 

I only discuss weight with my best friend because we have that kind of relationship where we would tease each other

[.Odyssey.]

No, healthy does not come in all shapes and sizes, despite what some people perched on Twitter may say.

[SapphireSky]

You're right and you should say it

[Cheers]

It can be rude and uncalled for to point out someone’s weight but “fat phobia” is not real

 

If you said it in a rude way you were in the wrong but the suggestion itself is not wrong. Also how’re you going to complain about health issues and a limited dating pool but get mad when someone suggests losing weight . 

[Mordecai]

No. But most fat people know they're fat and that losing weight would be in their best interest. So depending on the context a comment like that can be unnecessary.

[arceus]

The thing with heavy people is that they only want to date fit and muscular people and despise other heavyweight people which in itself is fat phobic 

[The Next Day]

Is the person seeking advice? Then give advice. Read the room. Sometimes people just want to complain to get it out of their system. If you want to ***** about your boss with me, I'm not going to be like "Here's what you should do..." cause in that situation I know you don't want advice.

 

14 minutes ago, May said:

i mean probably but it’s on a personal case by case tbh

 

looking back at my fat era i wish more ppl would’ve called me a fat **** n told me to go lose weight , it would’ve motivated me earlier

It really is subjective. For me it was the opposite of your story. Growing up I was always told to lose weight and I was scared to fail so I didn't even try. As an adult nobody cared anymore and when I finally had the courage to try, I didn't even tell anyone because I felt it would put pressure on me. Some people need external motivation, people like me need internal motivation.

 

[Roberto]

if it gets repetitive, yes, it is. Nevertheless, if there's a real and genuine concern about the other person's weight, I wouldn't consider it fatphobic. 

[Into The Void]

I think its rude

[Into The Void]

25 minutes ago, Lipgloss said:

I had a friend who was experiencing health issues and complaining about his dating life, I told him he should lose weight to improve both and he got mad at me and said that was a fatphobic thing to say . I mean, objectively losing weight would help with both of those problems. I don't understand how it's fatphobic to state the obvious.

Because they already know they need to loose weight. Hearing other people tell you it is like a knife in the back. Unless you have ever been overweight you wouldn't understand

[thetea]

i'd say if you guys aren't close and don't discuss things like that then don't say anything. they already know they're fat and telling them that doesn't help with anything. 

3 minutes ago, Insanity said:

Because they already know they need to loose weight. Hearing other people tell you it is like a knife in the back. Unless you have ever been overweight you wouldn't understand

this. it just makes them feel self conscious and that you're judging them for it. 

i guess it really just depends on your situation and relationship with the person 

[thetea]

9 minutes ago, The Next Day said:

For me it was the opposite of your story. Growing up I was always told to lose weight and I was scared to fail so I didn't even try. As an adult nobody cared anymore and when I finally had the courage to try, I didn't even tell anyone because I felt it would put pressure on me. Some people need external motivation, people like me need internal motivation.

same tbh. a lot of times when you say mean things about their weight, it just causes them to binge eat. everyone's different though. 

[commander]

Yes but most importantly did they ask for your opinion? 

[yesmine]

It depends on the delivery of it. If it's really hurting their health and could potentially lead to complications then you absolutely should.

[Tylerbv]

If its unprompted, its definitely rude. If they ask for advice and they’re overweight, it’s a tough thing to say but not rude.

[livelikemusic]

Fat-phobic? No. Appropriate? No.