Whis Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 Humans aren't made to be monogamous This is a statement made by several straight friends I have in real life. It always shocks me, because the men who believe in this statement all happen to be in a relationship or even engaged Call me oldschool, but my dream is to find a lover who only loves me and doesn't see sex as 'just fuqing', but truly sees it as an act of love that you only share with one person. I want to grow old together and have several children, and then when the time comes he takes care of me or I take care of him when we're older. My straight friends call me naive and delusional, they say that I see life as a fairytale when in reality it's completely different. They claim that it's 'normal' to cheat on your lover when you've been together for +5 years. I've seen/caught A LOT of people who cheat on their lover in my life, which doesn't help. This makes me very insecure. Thoughts? Discuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyboi Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 (edited) humas aren't made to be monogamous, IMO. Edited March 29, 2023 by shyboi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara Croft Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 I feel like the perfect relationship is one where you can have a monogamous emotional bond, and connection for life, but should be free to have sex with whoever you please. Life is too short to only have sex with one person forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James_Dean Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 Seems like something a cheater would say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redstreak Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 6 minutes ago, Lara Croft said: I feel like the perfect relationship is one where you can have a monogamous emotional bond, and connection for life, but should be free to have sex with whoever you please. Life is too short to only have sex with one person forever. Then wouldn’t it be too short to keep your emotional bond to one person? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoisonedIvy Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 Monogamy and polygamy are not really concepts that matter when you scale it down to biology. Our cellular instinct is to reproduce and pass on genetic code. The same way cells divide over and over, we reproduce for generations. Biology doesn’t care how we achieve that so long as we do it. Now from the philosophical standpoint once we became conscious thinkers capable of complex thoughts, yes, polygamy and monogamy were concepts we gave birth to based on observations of patterns in nature. But nature didn’t create us one way or the other, we gave meaning to those concepts and choose to exercise them. There’s no right or wrong. We have the free will to choose what works better for us. Me personally, I don’t think I’m a polygamous person, but who knows. Maybe one day I could be, maybe l’ll never be. I’m glad we have the freedom to decide that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockStarShit101 Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 1 minute ago, James_Dean said: Seems like something a cheater would say right? just be clear about being a **** and don't attach yourself to one person while lying to yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirious Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 Cheaters always cheat...it's literally in their DNA. I've NEVER heard of a cheater that stopped cheating (unless they were caught that badly) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayG Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 The replies in here are insane. Don’t cheat, that’s shitty behaviour. Commit or don’t get into relationships. Period. OP I agree with you, I also want only one relationship and person to share myself with. ******* multiple people has always felt disgusting to me. Like… nah. Life’s too short to be throwing my body at men like meat. Ew. I work hard, value my life and myself. I ain’t about wasting my time and potential and health and life with random people and ******* with people mentally - that’s trash behaviour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dear Reader Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 not this discussion AGAIN why can’t you guys let people decide what kind of relationship they WANT as long as it’s based on consent? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentleEarthquake Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 No. Some people don't want to fucc more than one person Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indie Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 I also don't understand why people feel the need to put blanket statements over others' relationships. I'm very happily monogamous and married, and always will be. I couldn't care less about what anybody elses relationship looks like. But don't try to tell me that my relationship is unnatural because it doesn't fit your ideals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CandleGuy Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 Evolutionarily speaking, men are programmed with the desire to spread their seed to as many women as they can to ensure the survival of the human race. Women are programmed to be loyal to one man for the purposes of raising the children. But this evolutionary programming is outdated. Just like with food. We are wired to love calorie dense foods, for survival - doesn't mean everyone should be eating donuts and cake all day. Modern society requires us to control our evolutionary impulses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScorpiosGroove Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 i’ll give it an hour until the grindr junkies flood this thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaram Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 14 minutes ago, James_Dean said: Seems like something a cheater would say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATRL Moderator madonnas Posted March 29, 2023 ATRL Moderator Share Posted March 29, 2023 I don’t really think there’s one right way one way or the other. People can stay monogamous if they want and be happy but it’s up to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenMachine Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 (edited) That's mostly a 'naturalistic fallacy', you can search it up Humans aren't 'naturally' made to do many stuff our society pushes us into, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't do it just because of that, we still are social animals who have to adapt to social norms and morality. So, if you get into a monogamous relationship it's not ok to cheat on them, it just wasn't part of the initial agreement, you're just being an a****le to your partner and there's no 'natural' excuse stopping it. Society used to be more judgemental in the way it pushed everyone into monogamous relationships, but it's not that way anymore, being single is more socially acceptable, and it leaves the door open for those who want to get into poligamy. So, if you don't want a monogamous relationship, you MUST state it from the start and have an agreement with your partner, if you don't do it you're just being an immature a****le who wants to take advantage of someone who's looking for something different than you. In summary, yeah, your straight friends are wrong. If you're looking for a monogamous relationship, it's your right to do so, I'm sure there are many enough people out there looking for the same too. Edited March 29, 2023 by BrokenMachine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obsession Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 (edited) I think polyamory can work, but I think some polyamorous people try way too hard to spin it and a lot of them don't seem to be doing it for good reasons. I don't think cheating is ever just something you can wave away as an impulse. It just means you aren't communicating effectively with your partner or being honest with yourself about your desires. It's not for me, personally. I prefer to be monogamous and lately, I just prefer to be alone. Edited March 29, 2023 by Obsession Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otter Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 12 minutes ago, Redstreak said: Then wouldn’t it be too short to keep your emotional bond to one person? Having one continual bond develop throughout the span of your life is an asset though, your emotions and experiences don't have to be exclusive to them but they will probably be strongest with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
byzantium Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 I feel like people who say this are missing the point. There is nothing wrong with being in an open relationship that both parties consent and agree to. The issue with cheating is that it breaks and understanding of trust in a relationship. It’s pretty simple. Don’t break someone’s trust. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heldenzeit Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 The beauty of humanity is that we‘re intelligent enough to have the option to choose a path of life. This debate is nonsense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumbsparce Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 I'll never understand why ppl feel the need to justify their mono or polyamory. There are people who can't **** anyone else other than the person they're "in love with", others can. And countless in-betweens. All is fine and acceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LustSpell Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 That's fine. However I AM made to monogamous. As people above have already stated: You don't need to justify what you like. I mind my business and do my own thing when it comes to poly people and that's all that matters. They live their life, I live mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadonnasBoyfriend Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 He's right. You'll never find a monogamous gay couple these days imo. The way they get bored of each other quick and wanna open up their relationship to grindr hook ups. It won't last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archetype Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 No one knows what humans were “made” for, and in a modern context, having offspring isn’t the end all of human existence as traditionalists will try to claim. 8 minutes ago, Heldenzeit said: The beauty of humanity is that we‘re intelligent enough to have the option to choose a path of life. This debate is nonsense. Exactly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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