Kevin2803 Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 I just want to clarify that i will go see a doctor soon, but until i will able to i just wanted to see if someone here maybe had similiar experiences. I had a co-worker i got very close with for a couple of months. We were in a similiar situation and bonded over that. We saw each other, outside from work, a good amount of time and also texted almost every day. I don't really trust many people, but for some reason, i trusted him and just felt very connected to him, although we didn't knew each other for that long. And one night, when we did go out, he just said to me that he never wanted to get that close and that he just had no one other to talk to (about the situation we bonded over) and because he was over that situation, our friendship also "stands and falls" with it. And i was just so incredibly hurt. I knew that he always had problems with letting people into his life, but i just felt so used and worthless in that moment. I lashed out, threw my drink in his face and said awful things to him. And after that, i saw him at work and apologized to him, but he was just so cold and acted like i was the bad guy (or atleast it felt like it). He didn't respond to any of my texts for a while and he switched shifts at work, so he didn't had to work with me. And i just had an extremely hard time getting over it. Not only did i feel bad for what i said, i also blamed myself for what he did. I even thought about hurting myself and i never had these thoughts before, atleast not in a serious way. There was a short time where i thought i was finally over it and then he quit anyway, so i didn't had to see him anymore, atleast not regulary. But he just showed up at work a few days ago, with some other co-workers, and everything came back. And for the longest time i thought this was just a phase i would get over and that this was normal, even though i never felt anything like this so heavily before. And then i found out that something like friendship PTSD actually exists and is caused when a friendship ends abruptly and in a bad way. And some of the symptoms just fit. Besides the thoughts of self-harm, i had a panic attack when i walked by the bar where everything happened, i have nightmares about it, if i can sleep at all, i have trouble concentrating, i burst out into tears randomly, i have flashbacks of the night it happened and i feel so emotionally detached to most of the people around me, even my nephew, who is the most important person in my life. I was in therapy before and i will see my doctor soon and talk to him about getting therapy again. Did some of you had similiar experiences? And if so, how did you deal with it?
Peroxide Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 (edited) Firstly - sorry to hear you're going through this. Secondly, I would avoid self diagnosis (it can be dangerous). I would suggest you see a doctor/therapist/phycologist for a proper assessment. Oddly enough, I can (somewhat) relate. The single most painful heartbreak I ever endured was when me and my best friend fell out and stopped speaking... it felt like my stomach was in knots for weeks. So many other factors of my day-to-day life (work, my relationship, my family, my sense of self) were affected. It's not unusual or weird to be extremely upset about loosing a close friend... Hopefully now you can start healing. Edited October 14, 2022 by Peroxide
Beyonnaise Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 I've had friendship falling outs that hurt in a different kind of way than anything else. It's this really sad kind of pain, especially when they seem to change altogether from the person you once knew. I'd say just take time to feel sad but realize that most friendships won't end that way, and you can always develop new friendships that are healthier.
Cloudy Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 Something similar happened to me with a group of friends I made in uni, they basically ostracized me and dumped me after we ended uni and I felt so used. Tbh I felt so betrayed by one of them because I really thought I had found that person, you know, that friend you get along perfectly in every sense and that you thought you could rely on. I'm still very affected and going with something similar to you so I can give you any advice.
Tremor Christ Posted October 15, 2022 Posted October 15, 2022 You dodged a bullet. Never let sh*tty people turn you off of friendships. I've been dealing with sh*tty things sh*tty people did to me throughout my life. I used to blame myself, attribute it to my character, my luck etc... Know your worth. Relationships are reflections of ourselves. Any person as narcissistic and shallow as you described as aren't capable of a good thing such as a close friendship. Think about the possibility that you were enjoying YOUR OWN company rather than his. @Kevin2803
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