discussion As a man, do you go out of your way to make women and girls feel safe in public?

[PoisonCandy]

No. I have noticed women become more comfortable around me when they find out/realise I'm gay, and I know that's how some gays make women feel more comfortable in situations like that, by somehow giving them a sign, but for me it's less obvious, so I can't really do that. I haven't found a good way of dealing with stuff like that, but luckily it's only happened once or twice.

[FightForTanas]

2 hours ago, Nano said:

Dear god, this thread is pathetic.

 

You think the woman wouldn't be upset at someone being offended by her for existing on the street?

but how does he know what she was thinking? He described her as putting her phone down and making a face. Thats it. He doesnt know what she was thinking at all? Male fragility is at an all time peak in 2022 I see.  

[Element]

Yes, 100%. I always try to be cognizant of how far away I am from them, go a different direction, or look at my phone so they don't think I'm following them. Some spatial awareness is very critical to maintaining an environment where everyone feels safe. 

[Into The Void]

This is something I've honestly never thought about. I am not realizing how little I get out. I feel like I'm never in these situations anymore lol

[Zaynsus]

No because people looking at me kind of triggers my insecurities and I ask myself a thousand questions (Why are they looking at me ? Do I look weird ? Do my hair look bad ? Do I smell bad ? My jeans are unzipped ? and so on...).  So I usually just put my earphones on, listen to music and pretend that there's nobody around. I totally understand that girls and women may feel that way though but I can deal with one insecure person at a time.

[izzy™]

Yes, especially when I'm walking behind a woman. I'm a fast walker so I really have to try to slow down or even stop and just look at my phone.

[monstereo]

No. If you're a slow walker then you better speed up because I'm not delaying my day for your paranoia.

 

Men are at much higher risk of being victims of violent crime than women. (gang-related violence or random crime)

 

and I'm sure that % is higher for gay men.

[OreGuy]

1 hour ago, monstereo said:

Men are at much higher risk of being victims of violent crime than women. (gang-related violence or random crime)

blame the men for that. 

[Bacardo Royale]

I almost always have headphones on when I'm walking  alone , so I probably dont look like a threat. Plus I rarely make eye contact unless I'm checking out a hot guy

[Rotunda]

13 hours ago, Nano said:

No, and you shouldn't either. Girls like that think the world revolves around them.

 

[Mr. Mendes]

I absolutely do. It is not obvious to anyone who doesn't know me that I am a gay man, and even if was, I don't believe that I should use that as an excuse to not adjust my behavior if I'm in a similar situation. 

 

At the end of the day, I am a man and when I find myself the only other person occupying a space with a woman in a secluded area like that, then yes I and every man should do all we can to allow her to pass through without fear. We don't have to live the lives women do, we don't know what they've experienced, we don't know how our presence makes them feel. The least we could do is move out of the way, make it clear we're not focused on her, take a detour, not make eye contact, anything to allow her some peace of mind. 

[Before Today]

You should limp your wrist and start singing this

 

Ok on a serious note, maybe it's a cultural difference but women don't do that to men here where I live. Having no direct experience I can't say much. I guess I'd understand if it's a bit... rude/offended some men but in women's defense it's a precaution they have to take. I'd just walk on.

 

[Mikeymoonshine]

It can be upsetting but I get it, while I am Amab I have been attacked and harassed in public and that has caused massive anxiety in those types of situations especially around men. I try not to make it obvious but I'm terrified of being attacked again. Women tend to fear attacks way more than men because there really wouldn't be much they could do to defend themselves in a situation like that (same for a lot of men but they aren't raised to feel that way). So I'd never blame someone for being anxious of me and I'd probably feel the same way about them anyway. 

 

Crossing the street if that's possible is a good simple thing to do in situations where you are passing a woman alone at night. 

Edited October 5, 2022 by Mikeymoonshine

[Before Today]

19 minutes ago, Bacardo Royale said:

I almost always have headphones on when I'm walking  alone , so I probably dont look like a threat. Plus I rarely make eye contact unless I'm checking out a hot guy

Does this always work? What if they still think it's an act

[TheShowoff]

Nope. **** em.

[harwee]

Maybe she likes you and is threatened by your beauty.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 5, 2022 by harwee

[Lost In Paradise]

lol I'm not gonna compliment a random girl's outfit or say "hey kween" just to make them feel comfortable

[Mr. Duff]

I think that's a normal response from a woman who's just being very cautious and careful. I don't think of it as something to be upset about, and I'll just walk slower or use my phone to show vibes that I am not someone to be feared of. But I do become cautious of the surroundings in case there are indeed other men out there ready to do something bad to ladies/women.

[TaggedGalaxy]

No but I’m pretty unthreatening anyway. I’m a cute twink who’s usually more occupied with my phone than noticing the people around me 

[Theshigo Washidu]

 

 

 

22 hours ago, FightForTanas said:

So you got mad becuase....she made a face? Men truly are the most sensitive creatures on earth.

Chile, that's not what I said

 

20 hours ago, wish said:

I understand your perspective but you should have some more understanding of why a woman might have her guard up around men like that. You have no idea what she's been through.

 

Ask pretty much ANY woman and she'll tell you of all the times a man has harassed her or made her feel unsafe in pretty much any setting or situation. And unfortunately way too many women have also been physically harmed by men. You shouldn't take it personally at all. 

23 hours ago, Ayanaa said:

You're kind of gaslighting here. And she doesn't do it to upset you, it's just natural. 

I understand why she did that which I'm not too bothered about, but it's quite annoying to constantly face as someone's who just minding their business

Edited October 5, 2022 by St. Francis

[The7thStranger]

I've definitely "gayed" it up at times for this reason. It's sad that women have to live in a world like ours.

[Tropez]

Yes always. 
 

I don’t give them eye contact. I cross the street when I see them. If they’re in front of me, I walk slow to keep a distance. I try to keep my communication with them to the absolute minimum. 

[Frappucino]

I'm the gay that walks fast and past by  I hate slow walkers  Hopefully I don't leave anyone shook 

[FightForTanas]

3 hours ago, St. Francis said:

 

 

 

Chile, that's not what I said

 

I understand why she did that which I'm not too bothered about, but it's quite annoying to constantly face as someone's who just minding their business

Theres absolutely nothing wrong with making women feel comfortable unless you are an INCEL which im not gonna lie im getting those kind of vibes....

Edited October 6, 2022 by FightForTanas

[blueberries]

no idgaf