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Just moved out. In my 20s. I'm a mess. Is this normal?


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Posted

I moved out of my parents' house a few months ago with my best friend. I love her as a roommate, but adulting, not going to lie, is hitting both of us pretty damn hard. 

 

For one, I thought I wanted to go into teaching. I even took another teaching job offer (long story short, but at my last school, they basically cleaned house and got rid of almost all of the 1st-years including myself; go figure). I took it just to see if it was the school itself I hated last year. Nope. I hate the teaching industry-- so much so I actually declined the new teaching job offer after my 2nd week of training because I was like... I am not putting myself through this again, especially if there are lower-stress jobs out there. 

 

Well, bills need to get paid, so I immediately went back to retail management. Currently doing that now and it barely pays the bills, however, I just got a job offer for a permanent sub position that pays more than retail, I'd have holidays/weekends off, and I wouldn't bring work home with me, which is pretty ideal. The issue is, I'm kind of doing the same thing all over again which is letting my employer know... hey, this job won't be my primary focus. 

 

I'm also juggling a new relationship. It's honestly great. But sometimes it's hard to make room for my partner when I'm having a work-identity-crisis and just adulting itself. Like having to cook/clean/shower/do domestic work nearly every damn day. He is very understanding and supportive. I guess I just feel like I'm not doing enough, but that's my personality in general. I almost always feel like I need to be doing more and what I'm doing isn't good enough. Dumb, I know.

 

I just want to have a secure job/benefits (which I'm getting with this permanent sub position), and I just want things to fall into place and to stop over-worrying. 

 

Can anyone relate to feeling like life is kind of nuts, and while all the pieces are there, they're not fitting in a neat puzzle? Especially in their 20s? 

MadonnasBoyfriend
Posted

i cant relate i was born rich

Posted
8 minutes ago, zasderfght said:

Can anyone relate to feeling like life is kind of nuts, and while all the pieces are there, they're not fitting in a neat puzzle? Especially in their 20s? 

Feel like this is everybody's 20s. Nobody knows what the **** is going on :rip:

Posted

Sounds really normal. You’ve moved out, have a job and a relationship so you’re doing well. Don’t sweat fitting in with other people. 

Posted (edited)

i relate to literally everything. 100%. we can be miserable together! :monkey: 

 

i turned 25 a couple days ago and i had a meltdown coming to the realization that life is a lot harder than i thought it would be when i was 16. i also REFUSE to believe life consists of going to work some shitty job i hate and paying bills and juggling everything u love and care about around those two things. i must find a way off of this ******* rat wheel.

Edited by BANKS
Posted
3 minutes ago, BANKS said:

i relate to literally everything. 100%. we can be miserable together! :monkey: 

 

i turned 25 a couple days ago and i had a meltdown coming to the realization that life is a lot harder than i thought it would be when i was 16. i also REFUSE to believe life consists of going to work some shitty job i hate and paying bills and juggling everything u love and care about around those two things. i must find a way off of this ******* rat wheel.

:hug:Maybe it's because I can also be an optimist, but I think we'll get through this! :heart:

Posted

This sounds like literally everyone in their 20s. Your 20s are there to figure **** out, experiment with what you like and find out you actually don’t like it and look further, mess up and roll with the punches

 

You’re doing great

Posted (edited)

Don't worry that is normal, I am having a similar experience as well. I am sure we are all a bit lost and confused at this time.

Edited by mystery
Posted

Doesn’t get better in the 30s except higher salary maybe 

Posted

You'll figure it out, just go at your own pace and quit stressing what is out of your control. Enjoy the little life you are afforded without stress and struggle.

Posted

rooting for you. wish i had the courage you have. there are definitely pros and cons when it comes to living on your own, but it's nice you got a roommate that is your best friend. for as long as you are working, you should be fine. this will teach u a lot of lessons in life. just take it one day at a time. 

Posted

I can´t wait to move out next year

I´m 27 and feel sort of ´stuck´ in my personal journey, still living at home

Posted

It is normal; it’s alright bestie :rainbow:

Posted

I mean I know the pay sucks and you have to deal with bratty kids but is teaching really that stressful? :huh: 

Posted

Completely normal sis - just breathe and enjoy the journey 

Posted

Yeah it’s difficult, sending you love though I know it’ll work itself out. :kiss:

Posted

This is very normal, just keep at it and you’ll be good.  Some career advice… if you are good at teaching and are in retail management, you should consider looking into consulting (if you want to get paid much more).  Your personal life will cease to exist tho.

Posted

Im in my 30s and life is kicking my ass! :deadbanana4:  your young and got plenty of time! 

Posted
1 hour ago, Cain said:

This sounds like literally everyone in their 20s. Your 20s are there to figure **** out, experiment with what you like and find out you actually don’t like it and look further, mess up and roll with the punches

 

You’re doing great

This

Posted

20s a mess of self discovery. You're doing good sis - but you also have to be mindful that you can't do EVERYTHING. Eating healthy and exercising regularly is important though - without good mental and physical health, nothing else will function well. 

Posted
2 hours ago, Dragonfly said:

I can´t wait to move out next year

I´m 27 and feel sort of ´stuck´ in my personal journey, still living at home

Same. Sometimes I feel like dropping everything and moving away to start over.

Posted

After few years you will look back at this moment and think how dramatic you have been cause you got this. 
 

plus it’s going to be second nature yourself to the point you will despise depending on anyone but yourself. 

Posted

Good for you, you’ve got this. I’ve been stuck at a miserable job at a miserable place just for the money and the security, but I’m ready to say **** it to everything and move on, even without being 100% certain for the future. Should’ve done it earlier to be quite honest. 

Posted

Your 20s will usually be a mess. You're independent for the first time and still figuring out life, it's going to take years for you to really get your footing. You'll be fine, you're in a much better place than I was when I first flew the nest. The best advice I can give you is to pay your bills and then save as much money as you can, DO NOT spend it on unnecessary stuff. I promise you, it makes a HUGE difference and it will get you where you want to be so much quicker.

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