naval23 Posted August 25, 2022 Posted August 25, 2022 For those of you who have been or are currently in relationships, how do you deal with the stagnant periods especially after long periods of time being together?
Jude Posted August 25, 2022 Posted August 25, 2022 Try traveling together to new places (if you have $$$ for that ofc). Try being in an open relationship (if you don't consider that morally wrong ofc).
ExtraChapstick Posted August 25, 2022 Posted August 25, 2022 If you still care deeply for one another, try finding some things to do apart so you better appreciate the time you do have together. In my earlier relationships, I wanted to spend nearly every waking minute with my bf. However, that can create strain. Almost everyone needs some time to themselves, and having specific hobbies or activities you do separately can help. If there's a deeper issue, talk it out and express exactly how you feel. Being honest and forthcoming is the quickest way to ease any burden you're carrying inside and it can help move things in the direction they're meant to go, one way or another. Try to avoid the pitfall of settling into the comfort of an unfulfilling and routine coexistence. Communicate your needs and ask them to communicate theirs as well.
Archetype Posted August 25, 2022 Posted August 25, 2022 OP, what do you mean by "stagnation"? What are you hoping for and what is the reality? Don't confuse stagnation with consistency and lack of excitement. It's okay to have periods where you're bored or slightly unfulfilled. If this is about sex, you should talk to your SO honestly, and maybe start thinking about coming to terms if they are just less sexual as they get older. Honestly, if you really want to be with someone long term (I'm talking years or decades), having great sex is an expectation that will quickly die. Most people get less sexual as they age, take on more responsibilities at work, have children, have mortgage/loans to pay, etc. It's important to us now bc we're young, but think of where you want to be in 10 or 20 years and if this person fits within that vision.
Peroxide Posted August 25, 2022 Posted August 25, 2022 Depends on the person. My and my partner definitely have moments where things can feel stagnant/slow… but we’ve known each other for 6 years so it’s sort of expected in some ways? Like others have said - having a life outside of your relationship is really important… so find hobbies, make friends, spend time apart etc Re sex - if you want this thing to work out long term, don’t expect to have wild, steamy, animal sex every day for the rest your life… it’s normal for things to slow down when you’re years and years into a relationship.
Robert Posted August 25, 2022 Posted August 25, 2022 (edited) I think doing stuff together that’s not just your run of the mill stuff helps (vacations, spontaneous day trip, even exploring new things sexually). Also making sure you’re getting enough time to yourself, this can be tough when your living with your spouse. Be realistic tho, it’s fine if things aren’t always exciting and there’s going to be difficult times. Edited August 25, 2022 by Robert
theweekend Posted August 25, 2022 Posted August 25, 2022 12 hours ago, Peroxide said: Depends on the person. My and my partner definitely have moments where things can feel stagnant/slow… but we’ve known each other for 6 years so it’s sort of expected in some ways? Like others have said - having a life outside of your relationship is really important… so find hobbies, make friends, spend time apart etc Re sex - if you want this thing to work out long term, don’t expect to have wild, steamy, animal sex every day for the rest your life… it’s normal for things to slow down when you’re years and years into a relationship. this about sex: I feel like I want to have more experiences but I don't want to make my life about it how I've seen several couples doing that. just imagine trying to sneak another d to their asses on a daily basis.
John Slayne Posted August 25, 2022 Posted August 25, 2022 14 hours ago, PopKills said: It’s extremely stable which is a good sign!
MadonnasBoyfriend Posted August 26, 2022 Posted August 26, 2022 Break up. It's only gonna get worse not better. I could be wrong tho!
PrettyHurts Posted August 26, 2022 Posted August 26, 2022 18 hours ago, PopKills said: It’s extremely stable which is a good sign! I laughed out loud
Lost In Paradise Posted August 26, 2022 Posted August 26, 2022 you probably have a lot of traditions, memories, routines at this point that make the days go by, but what you need are NEW traditions, memories, etc. instead of going out to your favorite place to eat, try a new restaurant. try a new hobby together bring in a third to your sex-life (it's really not that serious. if you guys don't like it afterwards, you can just not do it again lol)
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