Remmy Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/12/2022 at 3:02 AM, fountain said: No shade but There’s so much potential there Expand I have no unique experiences in this hell hole!!
fountain Posted June 12, 2022 Author Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/12/2022 at 3:05 AM, Remmy said: I have no unique experiences in this hell hole!! Expand Well trust me we all feel the same in the U.K. at the moment too
Hug Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/12/2022 at 2:44 AM, fountain said: What game is it? Expand Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning ??? I have a few ideas for what I want to do for this entry...I want to make sure that the song itself is interesting to a reader/listener who hasn't played or even heard of the game, is something I can do justice within the context OF a song, and be able to research it without spoiling myself as I haven't beat the game (I currently have ~42 hours on the character I've been playing and I haven't made much progress in the main storyline because there's a plethora of side content with tons of unique stories to explore.) I might've come up with something that fits all those stipulations!! I think a character piece would be the most interesting to work with.
fountain Posted June 12, 2022 Author Posted June 12, 2022 @JoeAg the doc for your entry is not able to be viewed my love
Achilles. Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 I don’t think I can do fountain’s challenge because I already wrote my token “let’s drag America!” song for this game and I won’t be topping it. Maybe I should serve another tacky song title and write “White Guilt” for this challenge. I’ll probably do the historical challenge just because I’m a bit of a histroy nerd and a ***** for period pieces but no particular ideas comes to mind right off the bat. Why is the only thing I can think about the fact that everyone in Rome knew Julius Caesar was sleeping with men and they didn’t judge him for that, they just ridiculed him for being the bottom. Yes, bottom shaming is older than Christ. Writing inspired by media would be the most appealing option but there’s no chance in hell I’m doing that extra ****. If it were just writing the song and a brief video summary, that’d be more than okay since it’s just writing. But I have the graphic design is my passion skills to serve nothing better than a “for texture” single cover, and writing to track is an absolute nonstarter for me. There’s a cheat code for this round, though. If you write a song based on a piece of media that’s based on a true story, you can just pass it off as a historical song.
JoeAg Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/12/2022 at 3:35 AM, fountain said: @JoeAg the doc for your entry is not able to be viewed my love Expand oh sh*t let me try a different one lol
Aurora Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/11/2022 at 1:22 AM, Aurora said: Hey, Hitmakers! This was another very strong round in my opinion, in fact it had some of my favourite songs submitted for this tournament thus far. I really want to thank you all again for supporting this game, especially in a challenge like this that encourages such vulnerability and openness. If you are yet to submit and still plan on doing so, I will edit your review into this post once we receive the submission and tag you in the post afterwards. If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request. Reveal hidden contents 1. @Hug - “To Make a Man...” This was nice, and a great start to this challenge. It’s definitely a solid approach to this challenge without being too generic or exclusive, yet still fulfils the personal angle that was required. I won’t say it’s a “return to form” since I don’t think your recent submissions have been bad in any way, but this one definitely had that classic Hug essence that you delivered in “RAVAGED”, despite these being completely different songs. Another angle I would have liked to see approached here would be a verse or bridge focusing on negative aspects that are typically considered “manly”, and dismissing/rejecting these, which could have added another layer of depth or social commentary. What you have submitted is still great though, and my favourite couplet was, “If I like another man, then it doesn’t make me not one / Whether we’re just friends or together for the long run”. 2. @Julia Fox - “Things I Did When I Was Little” Loving this title tbh. Honestly this was such an expected entry from you, your submissions are usually so character-focused and artsy and metaphorical and this was a lot more real and narrative-based and I’m very much here for this new side of Julia Fox. The opening section really set the scene well and I think many of us can relate to that. Loved the “hips don’t lie” cameo. The rainbows/random rhyme was a little messy but cute. The car with the speakers up section was a great way to showcase the change in attitude, growth, and self-acceptance. The Gaga/Born This Way addition felt a little unnecessary too, but overall this was a nice song about the road to self-acceptance. 3. @EpicSongFan - “Mask” Another slap cover, we love to see it! This was a solid offering from you. The first two verses were really strong and had me hooked right away. The prechorus was nice, the closet imagery was fine, but I’m not sure what the “all of them” in the second line was referring to (would have made sense if emotions, secrets, or something plural was used on the prior line, but all that is there is identity?) I liked the changing choruses, too. The third/fourth verses weren’t as strong as the first two but they were still good and lead into the new chorus well. “Method acting until it's my new reality” was really great. The ending was rather sad but I’m honestly glad you didn’t go for the super obvious happily-ever-after ending because the truth is so many struggle to ever find the inner strength and courage to take off the mask and truly be who they are outwardly and openly, so this is a much more (unfortunately) realistic depiction. Overall, nice work! 4. @Better Mistakes - “Her Eyes Are Blue and Mine Are Brown” Oh my god, I almost was going to skip over your original entry until you pointed back to it with the other information section and LAWD I’m so glad you did... this was lowkey my favourite part of your entry. That said, I think you made the correct choice in resubmitting. As you indicated, it’s the same concept but told in a rather more lyrically enticing manner. This is another pretty relatable concept I’m sure most of us are unfortunately familiar with, and definitely a good source of inspiration. The pre-choruses felt a little bit melodramatic, but we all know how it can feel when you’re heartbroken and it feels as if your world is falling apart. I really love the titular lyric you ended up going with, it’s a nice way to highlight the differences without it being too overt in saying what you really mean. Your submissions just keep getting better and I’m looking forward to what’s next. 5. @Euterpe - “Timeless” I know this challenge wasn’t right up your all(e)y per se, so thank you for submitting. For what it’s worth though, this is easily one of my favourite submissions of yours. “Candlelight” might be shook? This angle was refreshing, and not something explored too often for potentially obvious reasons, but I’m very glad that somebody took inspiration from their own friends’ experiences and wrote a song about that. I’ve done something similar in the past, and it’s a very rewarding feeling. I’d say your style is becoming more and more clear as the rounds progress, and you have a tendency for longer line lengths, which work really well in songs like this that convey a lot of detail and emotion. While I think it would be nice to see you tackle a more minimalist approach in a future submission, your style worked wonderfully for this piece. 6. @hurricane326 - “My Man” The resubmissions, we- someone needs to acquaint themselves with Google Docs! This review is going to be a little different from the others because in all honesty I’m not sure if this is a perfect fit for the challenge. You’re obviously a wonderful writer—you’ve consistently ranked highly throughout this tournament, and scored several #1s in others. You’re also almost always one of the first to submit, and your passion is evident. I think the biggest challenge I can issue you at this point is when the next round is posted, let it simmer a bit before just writing the first thing that comes to mind. There’s always a chance you can build upon it, or think of something even stronger throughout the week. I personally thought “Mythology” was your strongest of the entries this week, but even then it wasn’t to the calibre of your other submissions. Considering “My Man” didn’t come from personal experience, some of the lyrics such as, “Myself, according to my man / Is funnier than he is,” just felt a bit disingenuous. I really would love to see what you make when utilising the entire challenge duration to brainstorm, conceptualise, and fully flesh out a song... I fear you may be unstoppable. 7. @Legend E - “It's My Time to Go” I’m going to address the song itself first because I think that is most important, you’ve done a lovely job of remembering this terrible event. I actually do recall a few songs written in similar tournaments to this one when it first happened. The shirt was reminiscent of the “All Too Well” scarf, in a good way. The “help/yelp” rhyme wasn’t super great. I really liked the spoken outro, and this was probably my favourite part of the song actually, and felt this was the most universal/relatable section of the song. That brings me to the second acknowledgement, which is that this obviously isn’t a personal experience of yours, which is an interesting angle in a challenge where the aim was to be inspired by your own identity. I suppose it fits if you consider yourself emotionally impacted by the events, which may very well be the case for you. I think it was another strong offering from you, and appreciate the care that went into this song. 8. @Remmy - “Pulse” After reading Legend E’s song I really thought we were in for back-to-back entries about the same theme again, whew. I really loved this submission from you. Your sex bops are obviously iconic, but this showed a different side, one that is a little more socially conscious. It’s still a positive song all in all, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows so to speak. You touched on so many themes—underrepresentation, shame, denial, rejection, parental disappointment, brainwashing and conversion etc. but none of it felt unnatural or slotted in just to make a point, it honestly felt like part of the growing up LGBT experience, because, well, it is exactly that sadly. The end part of the bridge was really great, as was the chorus’, “They're trying to take, this heart that I hold / Paint gray on my walls of glitter and gold”. This was a much stronger socially aware, (mostly) PG-rated bop than “Don’t Let a Man...”, and may even be tugging on the wig of “Flowerbloom” for me! 9. @GentleDance - “I Know” I look forward to reading your submissions so much now. This was definitely on the more simplistic side for you, which was refreshing to see. It still packed a punch and retained the charm of your other submissions, though. The way you convey such meaning behind a falling plate with the acknowledgement of responsibility by placing it on a high shelf of a cabinet… it reminded me of some of 8thPrince’s material from other tournaments in a very good way. The third verse lost me a little, particularly the hairnet lyric, but perhaps it is of personal significance. I really enjoyed the understated nature of this piece, carrying on as if things are fine when they are not and you long for something else, and the latter verses came through in that regard. I’ve enjoyed all of your submissions thus far and this is no exception. 10. @Jackson - “Reykjavik” Not this title after your last, your foreign era. American Björk is shook. I don’t even know where to begin with this one, the other judges said I had a “pitch black soul” when I didn’t give your last entry a 10, but I just didn’t get that emotional connection that I think is required to truly make a perfect entry. Well, I have news for you... this one did. The way I didn’t even question this was a personal song yet you still provided the receipts, iconic. Not you shouting out “Stardust” because you knew that this would be its (true) successor... genius. Seriously speaking, this wasn’t just beautiful, it was intelligently crafted with so much genuine love that I couldn’t help but feel happy for you. I’m mad you went for the closet/pride lyric in the bridge, but honestly you kinda did it in the best possible way that it doesn’t even feel cheesy. The “walk the dog for fun,” lyric was probably a bit clunkier than it should have been but honestly that’s more than a nitpick and dogs are cute. You ate this challenge and left no crumbs, not a single one. My only question is, when’s the wedding, and where’s my invitation? 11. @Augmented - “When Tradition Falls” I’m just going to say one thing... I don’t think the tradition of you having ties in the rankings is going to fall just yet, because right now you’re tied for my #1. This was honestly such a wonderful read and your continual growth from one round to the next feels like it was leading to this moment. Even without the context of your other information it was a fantastic submission, but knowing the internal struggle you’re dealing with and the fact you almost did not submit makes it hit home even more. I am so glad you decided to submit. The bridge was honestly flawless, especially the final quatrain. One of the most gorgeous uses of rainbow imagery and symbolism without even having to use the word “rainbow”. Exquisite. 12. @DatChickDoe - “Rainbow of Night” Not going to lie, at first I was like, “the WHAT willows?” This was another pretty strong entry from you and again it’s so great to see the trajectories of many writers we haven’t had the opportunity to see before. Conceptually I was pretty invested in this piece and I think it was a good approach for the challenge. You have a wonderfully poetic style here, and your imagery really does shine here. I especially loved the rainbow verse where you describe what each of the colours now mean to you. Where I think this particular song could shine even more is with some refinement—there is a lot of really good content here, but there’s a lot of inconsistency between the verses and line lengths and rhyme schemes throughout. You have really great chunks of lyrical ideas here, and I believe spending some additional time finding ways to convey the same messages and lyrical ideas with a bit more structure would have benefited this submission. Loving your output! 13. @Achilles. - “In The Closet” -0.5 points for lying about the clarinet. This was another stellar offering from you. I was a little bit worried from the title that it was going to end up a predictable mess, but I should have known you better. The way you used actual all but forgotten trinkets in the closet as a sort of accompaniment to your undisclosed sexuality was actually rather clever and unique I found. I honestly don’t care about cursing in songs, but it did catch me off guard a bit in your second verse since it just didn’t really feel necessary? A simple “junk” would have sufficed. The bridge was probably my favourite part of the song, as it should be. Actually, that’s a lie, everything afterwards is as well. I really appreciate your honesty and openness with this piece. There could definitely be a few tweaks made to tighten everything up overall but that’s almost not the point, the point is to show the flaws and acknowledge them so it’s kind of endearing as-is. I guess all I can really say is if you’re happy, that’s enough, but if you’re not happy, and this is part of the reason why, then I hope you can find it within yourself to make the changes to reach that happiness. 14. @OreGuy - “Choose Now!” It was refreshing to see a fun upbeat type song at this point, definitely! You’ve shown a lot of growth throughout this tournament (and many tournaments before that) and for that I’m really glad you’re still submitting for us. I think, conceptually, your song is solid. There’s definitely an unspoken pressure (or unfortunately spoken in some cases) regarding bisexual people to “choose a side” or have a “preference” either way, absolutely. Does the “orange” in the chorus refer to “healing” in the flag? If so, I kind of stan that. Minor thing: you labelled your post-chorus a pre-chorus as well—that said, I love the addition of this section. One thing that would have really elevated this piece for me would be if you had really committed to the binary aspect of being bi and set up a lot of “this or that” comparisons only to shoot them down with something inclusive of both, really protesting the “choose now” idea. 15. @☆lex - “I Want It All” “But exile becomes ecstacy [sic] / Once you find some company” now THIS is what we call a one-liner! (Although it’s technically two lines but who cares?) The first chorus was serving a little bit of Ava Max “So Am I” tbh, which was kind of cute. The second verse is awfully brilliant... nosy asses! The second chorus I found was quite a bit stronger than the first. I won’t lie, I didn’t really understand the significance of the bridge before the first verse, it almost read like it was from another song entirely. The third verse was very camp, and the final chorus was a fitting expansion on the second. Honestly I have a lot of mixed feelings about this entry (mixed being from good to great), I really did like it but it feels a little unpolished and there’s definitely sections that could use refinement or outright replacement, but nothing here is truly bad either. Another strong submission! 16. @Arrows - “Do You Have A Secret?” I haven’t seen Heartstopper (yet!) but it only seems you were moderately inspired and instead drew from your own experiences, which is definitely what this challenge was asking for anyway. Conceptually I think you have something strong here, it’s funny how we can look back on events that happened in our past with a more mature lens and understand the nuances of the situation a lot better. I definitely have a few of those memories. I do like this and see it as an intro or interlude of sorts since it’s on the shorter side. I think there was more that could have been done here to strengthen each of these individual lyrical ideas and make them their own special moment, as it is it feels like we’ve only been let in on such a small part of the story and I would have loved to see more. 17. @Prisoner - “Futile” This was an interesting one for sure. I appreciate you submitting despite the challenge not being your forte, this should be the last of the possibly restrictive (if that’s even the right word) challenges for the season, the final two are a lot more open-ended and fun! This definitely fits the personal experience aspect of the challenge well, and I can honestly relate to a fair chunk of it. I especially enjoyed the outro because it becomes clear that you can see how this behaviour is almost self-destructive rather than being self-improvement, there’s definitely a line that is crossed somewhere. As far as this being a song addressing your queer identity, I’m not sure if it really does work honestly, unless there is some underlying metaphor that’s completely escaped me (if so, feel free to clock!) But as a song overall, it was another strong submission from you. 18. @Tylerbv - “It Gets Better” I was ready to clock for not reading the challenge stipulation that we’re not looking for another “Born This Way” type song, but whew you showed me. We love attacking corporate greed and opportunism. I love me some water imagery, but it did feel a little shoehorned in here this time. That said, “there's a puddle of things i've done right and an ocean of wrong” was really nice. Verse two is where this song really gets interesting for me, the concept here is great. I get what you mean about it reading like a bit of an amalgamation since the way it teeters between points of view can get a little confusing at times, and I think just focusing on one point of your (probably yours/the narrators) and conveying the same ideas through that lens would have helped with cohesion. You knew it wasn’t polished and that’s definitely a sentiment I echo, but it definitely has potential if you wanted to go back and revise this at some point. 19. @mxtthewdelrey - “proud to be yours” This was unbelievably cute, possibly one of the cutest songs of the round (which is saying something since Jackson’s was intensely adorable!) I am glad we got a few songs like this because while queer love isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, sometimes it is, and it should be! When I say that, I don’t mean I literally want a song about sunshine and rainbows, and your simple everyday imagery is a strong balance of idyllic and realistic. The idea of you both up in a tree overlooking the telephone line just being happy was adorable. The lyric “when I’m in your mind, you’re in mine too” was particularly nice, and strengthened the decision for an alternate chorus. It’s not the most conceptually ambitious song or even the most unique composition structurally or lyrically, but it is really nice and I enjoyed it a lot in all of its simplicity. 20. @D e v o n - “On my way” Similar to Arrows’ submission, I see this as more of an intro or interlude of sorts due to its length, but I understand you were submitting late and just wanted to get something in which is again admirable. You’ve definitely had one of the most unique trajectories in the tournament, and are our only returning writer after a week off at this point, which is definitely something. Conceptually you’re on your way to a masterpiece here I fear, we love subverting gender roles and expectations, and I’m honestly surprised we didn’t see a whole lot more of that during this round (there was a lot more focus on sexuality rather than gender identity, which is also fine). I’d have loved if this had another few sections, or perhaps even just a bridge of sorts. But thank you for submitting, I’d say it’s your strongest thus far. 21. @8thPrince - “Cephalopods” I found this to be a very interesting submission from you. Typically your songs have a sense of wonder and beauty about them but this was very much the opposite. There was still intrigue, but you opted for more grotesque images and metaphors to convey this song’s themes, which I found worked well in this case, even if they didn’t always set up for the most glamorous or pleasurable lyrical moments. Conceptually it was the most unique of the round by a long way—definitely an interesting take on the challenge in general—and I think the comparisons to a cephalopod as being a thin-skinned, spineless individual was refreshingly clever. I also liked the ideas you played with such as “fitting the mould” and shrinking yourself, and the suggestion of drinking to cope. I’d say the overly metaphorical nature and some of the more jarring lyrics “offal and guts” detracted from the overall message a little, but it was still a well-written, accomplished piece I thoroughly enjoyed. Expand @8thPrince I've added your review. @JoeAg I wasn't able to access your document, if you could enable it for anyone with the link to view that would be wonderful!
fountain Posted June 12, 2022 Author Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/12/2022 at 3:43 AM, JoeAg said: ok lmk if that worked babes Expand It works, thank you
Remmy Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 @Aurora for your torture challenge can I write about a whole movie series or do I just have to focus on 1 film from it?
Hug Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 @Aurorawhere is HAUS/Haus of Cards on Aurora: MPG Wiki? ?
Aurora Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/11/2022 at 1:22 AM, Aurora said: Hey, Hitmakers! This was another very strong round in my opinion, in fact it had some of my favourite songs submitted for this tournament thus far. I really want to thank you all again for supporting this game, especially in a challenge like this that encourages such vulnerability and openness. If you are yet to submit and still plan on doing so, I will edit your review into this post once we receive the submission and tag you in the post afterwards. If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request. Reveal hidden contents 1. @Hug - “To Make a Man...” This was nice, and a great start to this challenge. It’s definitely a solid approach to this challenge without being too generic or exclusive, yet still fulfils the personal angle that was required. I won’t say it’s a “return to form” since I don’t think your recent submissions have been bad in any way, but this one definitely had that classic Hug essence that you delivered in “RAVAGED”, despite these being completely different songs. Another angle I would have liked to see approached here would be a verse or bridge focusing on negative aspects that are typically considered “manly”, and dismissing/rejecting these, which could have added another layer of depth or social commentary. What you have submitted is still great though, and my favourite couplet was, “If I like another man, then it doesn’t make me not one / Whether we’re just friends or together for the long run”. 2. @Julia Fox - “Things I Did When I Was Little” Loving this title tbh. Honestly this was such an expected entry from you, your submissions are usually so character-focused and artsy and metaphorical and this was a lot more real and narrative-based and I’m very much here for this new side of Julia Fox. The opening section really set the scene well and I think many of us can relate to that. Loved the “hips don’t lie” cameo. The rainbows/random rhyme was a little messy but cute. The car with the speakers up section was a great way to showcase the change in attitude, growth, and self-acceptance. The Gaga/Born This Way addition felt a little unnecessary too, but overall this was a nice song about the road to self-acceptance. 3. @EpicSongFan - “Mask” Another slap cover, we love to see it! This was a solid offering from you. The first two verses were really strong and had me hooked right away. The prechorus was nice, the closet imagery was fine, but I’m not sure what the “all of them” in the second line was referring to (would have made sense if emotions, secrets, or something plural was used on the prior line, but all that is there is identity?) I liked the changing choruses, too. The third/fourth verses weren’t as strong as the first two but they were still good and lead into the new chorus well. “Method acting until it's my new reality” was really great. The ending was rather sad but I’m honestly glad you didn’t go for the super obvious happily-ever-after ending because the truth is so many struggle to ever find the inner strength and courage to take off the mask and truly be who they are outwardly and openly, so this is a much more (unfortunately) realistic depiction. Overall, nice work! 4. @Better Mistakes - “Her Eyes Are Blue and Mine Are Brown” Oh my god, I almost was going to skip over your original entry until you pointed back to it with the other information section and LAWD I’m so glad you did... this was lowkey my favourite part of your entry. That said, I think you made the correct choice in resubmitting. As you indicated, it’s the same concept but told in a rather more lyrically enticing manner. This is another pretty relatable concept I’m sure most of us are unfortunately familiar with, and definitely a good source of inspiration. The pre-choruses felt a little bit melodramatic, but we all know how it can feel when you’re heartbroken and it feels as if your world is falling apart. I really love the titular lyric you ended up going with, it’s a nice way to highlight the differences without it being too overt in saying what you really mean. Your submissions just keep getting better and I’m looking forward to what’s next. 5. @Euterpe - “Timeless” I know this challenge wasn’t right up your all(e)y per se, so thank you for submitting. For what it’s worth though, this is easily one of my favourite submissions of yours. “Candlelight” might be shook? This angle was refreshing, and not something explored too often for potentially obvious reasons, but I’m very glad that somebody took inspiration from their own friends’ experiences and wrote a song about that. I’ve done something similar in the past, and it’s a very rewarding feeling. I’d say your style is becoming more and more clear as the rounds progress, and you have a tendency for longer line lengths, which work really well in songs like this that convey a lot of detail and emotion. While I think it would be nice to see you tackle a more minimalist approach in a future submission, your style worked wonderfully for this piece. 6. @hurricane326 - “My Man” The resubmissions, we- someone needs to acquaint themselves with Google Docs! This review is going to be a little different from the others because in all honesty I’m not sure if this is a perfect fit for the challenge. You’re obviously a wonderful writer—you’ve consistently ranked highly throughout this tournament, and scored several #1s in others. You’re also almost always one of the first to submit, and your passion is evident. I think the biggest challenge I can issue you at this point is when the next round is posted, let it simmer a bit before just writing the first thing that comes to mind. There’s always a chance you can build upon it, or think of something even stronger throughout the week. I personally thought “Mythology” was your strongest of the entries this week, but even then it wasn’t to the calibre of your other submissions. Considering “My Man” didn’t come from personal experience, some of the lyrics such as, “Myself, according to my man / Is funnier than he is,” just felt a bit disingenuous. I really would love to see what you make when utilising the entire challenge duration to brainstorm, conceptualise, and fully flesh out a song... I fear you may be unstoppable. 7. @Legend E - “It's My Time to Go” I’m going to address the song itself first because I think that is most important, you’ve done a lovely job of remembering this terrible event. I actually do recall a few songs written in similar tournaments to this one when it first happened. The shirt was reminiscent of the “All Too Well” scarf, in a good way. The “help/yelp” rhyme wasn’t super great. I really liked the spoken outro, and this was probably my favourite part of the song actually, and felt this was the most universal/relatable section of the song. That brings me to the second acknowledgement, which is that this obviously isn’t a personal experience of yours, which is an interesting angle in a challenge where the aim was to be inspired by your own identity. I suppose it fits if you consider yourself emotionally impacted by the events, which may very well be the case for you. I think it was another strong offering from you, and appreciate the care that went into this song. 8. @Remmy - “Pulse” After reading Legend E’s song I really thought we were in for back-to-back entries about the same theme again, whew. I really loved this submission from you. Your sex bops are obviously iconic, but this showed a different side, one that is a little more socially conscious. It’s still a positive song all in all, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows so to speak. You touched on so many themes—underrepresentation, shame, denial, rejection, parental disappointment, brainwashing and conversion etc. but none of it felt unnatural or slotted in just to make a point, it honestly felt like part of the growing up LGBT experience, because, well, it is exactly that sadly. The end part of the bridge was really great, as was the chorus’, “They're trying to take, this heart that I hold / Paint gray on my walls of glitter and gold”. This was a much stronger socially aware, (mostly) PG-rated bop than “Don’t Let a Man...”, and may even be tugging on the wig of “Flowerbloom” for me! 9. @GentleDance - “I Know” I look forward to reading your submissions so much now. This was definitely on the more simplistic side for you, which was refreshing to see. It still packed a punch and retained the charm of your other submissions, though. The way you convey such meaning behind a falling plate with the acknowledgement of responsibility by placing it on a high shelf of a cabinet… it reminded me of some of 8thPrince’s material from other tournaments in a very good way. The third verse lost me a little, particularly the hairnet lyric, but perhaps it is of personal significance. I really enjoyed the understated nature of this piece, carrying on as if things are fine when they are not and you long for something else, and the latter verses came through in that regard. I’ve enjoyed all of your submissions thus far and this is no exception. 10. @Jackson - “Reykjavik” Not this title after your last, your foreign era. American Björk is shook. I don’t even know where to begin with this one, the other judges said I had a “pitch black soul” when I didn’t give your last entry a 10, but I just didn’t get that emotional connection that I think is required to truly make a perfect entry. Well, I have news for you... this one did. The way I didn’t even question this was a personal song yet you still provided the receipts, iconic. Not you shouting out “Stardust” because you knew that this would be its (true) successor... genius. Seriously speaking, this wasn’t just beautiful, it was intelligently crafted with so much genuine love that I couldn’t help but feel happy for you. I’m mad you went for the closet/pride lyric in the bridge, but honestly you kinda did it in the best possible way that it doesn’t even feel cheesy. The “walk the dog for fun,” lyric was probably a bit clunkier than it should have been but honestly that’s more than a nitpick and dogs are cute. You ate this challenge and left no crumbs, not a single one. My only question is, when’s the wedding, and where’s my invitation? 11. @Augmented - “When Tradition Falls” I’m just going to say one thing... I don’t think the tradition of you having ties in the rankings is going to fall just yet, because right now you’re tied for my #1. This was honestly such a wonderful read and your continual growth from one round to the next feels like it was leading to this moment. Even without the context of your other information it was a fantastic submission, but knowing the internal struggle you’re dealing with and the fact you almost did not submit makes it hit home even more. I am so glad you decided to submit. The bridge was honestly flawless, especially the final quatrain. One of the most gorgeous uses of rainbow imagery and symbolism without even having to use the word “rainbow”. Exquisite. 12. @DatChickDoe - “Rainbow of Night” Not going to lie, at first I was like, “the WHAT willows?” This was another pretty strong entry from you and again it’s so great to see the trajectories of many writers we haven’t had the opportunity to see before. Conceptually I was pretty invested in this piece and I think it was a good approach for the challenge. You have a wonderfully poetic style here, and your imagery really does shine here. I especially loved the rainbow verse where you describe what each of the colours now mean to you. Where I think this particular song could shine even more is with some refinement—there is a lot of really good content here, but there’s a lot of inconsistency between the verses and line lengths and rhyme schemes throughout. You have really great chunks of lyrical ideas here, and I believe spending some additional time finding ways to convey the same messages and lyrical ideas with a bit more structure would have benefited this submission. Loving your output! 13. @Achilles. - “In The Closet” -0.5 points for lying about the clarinet. This was another stellar offering from you. I was a little bit worried from the title that it was going to end up a predictable mess, but I should have known you better. The way you used actual all but forgotten trinkets in the closet as a sort of accompaniment to your undisclosed sexuality was actually rather clever and unique I found. I honestly don’t care about cursing in songs, but it did catch me off guard a bit in your second verse since it just didn’t really feel necessary? A simple “junk” would have sufficed. The bridge was probably my favourite part of the song, as it should be. Actually, that’s a lie, everything afterwards is as well. I really appreciate your honesty and openness with this piece. There could definitely be a few tweaks made to tighten everything up overall but that’s almost not the point, the point is to show the flaws and acknowledge them so it’s kind of endearing as-is. I guess all I can really say is if you’re happy, that’s enough, but if you’re not happy, and this is part of the reason why, then I hope you can find it within yourself to make the changes to reach that happiness. 14. @OreGuy - “Choose Now!” It was refreshing to see a fun upbeat type song at this point, definitely! You’ve shown a lot of growth throughout this tournament (and many tournaments before that) and for that I’m really glad you’re still submitting for us. I think, conceptually, your song is solid. There’s definitely an unspoken pressure (or unfortunately spoken in some cases) regarding bisexual people to “choose a side” or have a “preference” either way, absolutely. Does the “orange” in the chorus refer to “healing” in the flag? If so, I kind of stan that. Minor thing: you labelled your post-chorus a pre-chorus as well—that said, I love the addition of this section. One thing that would have really elevated this piece for me would be if you had really committed to the binary aspect of being bi and set up a lot of “this or that” comparisons only to shoot them down with something inclusive of both, really protesting the “choose now” idea. 15. @☆lex - “I Want It All” “But exile becomes ecstacy [sic] / Once you find some company” now THIS is what we call a one-liner! (Although it’s technically two lines but who cares?) The first chorus was serving a little bit of Ava Max “So Am I” tbh, which was kind of cute. The second verse is awfully brilliant... nosy asses! The second chorus I found was quite a bit stronger than the first. I won’t lie, I didn’t really understand the significance of the bridge before the first verse, it almost read like it was from another song entirely. The third verse was very camp, and the final chorus was a fitting expansion on the second. Honestly I have a lot of mixed feelings about this entry (mixed being from good to great), I really did like it but it feels a little unpolished and there’s definitely sections that could use refinement or outright replacement, but nothing here is truly bad either. Another strong submission! 16. @Arrows - “Do You Have A Secret?” I haven’t seen Heartstopper (yet!) but it only seems you were moderately inspired and instead drew from your own experiences, which is definitely what this challenge was asking for anyway. Conceptually I think you have something strong here, it’s funny how we can look back on events that happened in our past with a more mature lens and understand the nuances of the situation a lot better. I definitely have a few of those memories. I do like this and see it as an intro or interlude of sorts since it’s on the shorter side. I think there was more that could have been done here to strengthen each of these individual lyrical ideas and make them their own special moment, as it is it feels like we’ve only been let in on such a small part of the story and I would have loved to see more. 17. @Prisoner - “Futile” This was an interesting one for sure. I appreciate you submitting despite the challenge not being your forte, this should be the last of the possibly restrictive (if that’s even the right word) challenges for the season, the final two are a lot more open-ended and fun! This definitely fits the personal experience aspect of the challenge well, and I can honestly relate to a fair chunk of it. I especially enjoyed the outro because it becomes clear that you can see how this behaviour is almost self-destructive rather than being self-improvement, there’s definitely a line that is crossed somewhere. As far as this being a song addressing your queer identity, I’m not sure if it really does work honestly, unless there is some underlying metaphor that’s completely escaped me (if so, feel free to clock!) But as a song overall, it was another strong submission from you. 18. @Tylerbv - “It Gets Better” I was ready to clock for not reading the challenge stipulation that we’re not looking for another “Born This Way” type song, but whew you showed me. We love attacking corporate greed and opportunism. I love me some water imagery, but it did feel a little shoehorned in here this time. That said, “there's a puddle of things i've done right and an ocean of wrong” was really nice. Verse two is where this song really gets interesting for me, the concept here is great. I get what you mean about it reading like a bit of an amalgamation since the way it teeters between points of view can get a little confusing at times, and I think just focusing on one point of your (probably yours/the narrators) and conveying the same ideas through that lens would have helped with cohesion. You knew it wasn’t polished and that’s definitely a sentiment I echo, but it definitely has potential if you wanted to go back and revise this at some point. 19. @mxtthewdelrey - “proud to be yours” This was unbelievably cute, possibly one of the cutest songs of the round (which is saying something since Jackson’s was intensely adorable!) I am glad we got a few songs like this because while queer love isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, sometimes it is, and it should be! When I say that, I don’t mean I literally want a song about sunshine and rainbows, and your simple everyday imagery is a strong balance of idyllic and realistic. The idea of you both up in a tree overlooking the telephone line just being happy was adorable. The lyric “when I’m in your mind, you’re in mine too” was particularly nice, and strengthened the decision for an alternate chorus. It’s not the most conceptually ambitious song or even the most unique composition structurally or lyrically, but it is really nice and I enjoyed it a lot in all of its simplicity. 20. @D e v o n - “On my way” Similar to Arrows’ submission, I see this as more of an intro or interlude of sorts due to its length, but I understand you were submitting late and just wanted to get something in which is again admirable. You’ve definitely had one of the most unique trajectories in the tournament, and are our only returning writer after a week off at this point, which is definitely something. Conceptually you’re on your way to a masterpiece here I fear, we love subverting gender roles and expectations, and I’m honestly surprised we didn’t see a whole lot more of that during this round (there was a lot more focus on sexuality rather than gender identity, which is also fine). I’d have loved if this had another few sections, or perhaps even just a bridge of sorts. But thank you for submitting, I’d say it’s your strongest thus far. 21. @8thPrince - “Cephalopods” I found this to be a very interesting submission from you. Typically your songs have a sense of wonder and beauty about them but this was very much the opposite. There was still intrigue, but you opted for more grotesque images and metaphors to convey this song’s themes, which I found worked well in this case, even if they didn’t always set up for the most glamorous or pleasurable lyrical moments. Conceptually it was the most unique of the round by a long way—definitely an interesting take on the challenge in general—and I think the comparisons to a cephalopod as being a thin-skinned, spineless individual was refreshingly clever. I also liked the ideas you played with such as “fitting the mould” and shrinking yourself, and the suggestion of drinking to cope. I’d say the overly metaphorical nature and some of the more jarring lyrics “offal and guts” detracted from the overall message a little, but it was still a well-written, accomplished piece I thoroughly enjoyed. 22. @JoeAg - “Awestruck by the Noise We Create” We love this title. You did it! You wrote a song where I didn’t have to look up a single word’s definition. In all seriousness, I know we’ve been a little hard on you in this regard (perhaps me more than the others) but it truly was nice to see a simpler side to you and I really enjoyed it. The imagery of the rock show with the cascading glitter and the sheer bliss you feel in moments like these was captured really well and simple language as usually the best way to capture those emotional moments I find. The “meet in space” lyric was great, it reminded me of a Kesha outtake with a similar title. The tangled hair like ivy imagery was also pretty great, and that whole section was sweet. We love warm blood too, not sure if these are intentional references but either way I liked them as lyrical moments. The sick/dope lyrics might have been a little too far on the colloquial side I found, but overall I think this was an important submission from you! I promise I’ll stop harassing you about word choice now. Expand @JoeAg your review has been added!
Aurora Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/12/2022 at 3:46 AM, Remmy said: @Aurora for your torture challenge can I write about a whole movie series or do I just have to focus on 1 film from it? Expand A whole movie series would be absolutely fine, if you can summarise the events well enough without glossing over too much! On 6/12/2022 at 3:53 AM, Hug said: @Aurorawhere is HAUS/Haus of Cards on Aurora: MPG Wiki? ? Expand It's still a WIP. I only got up to the Silhouettes singles before I stopped actively working on it to focus on Let's Spoon/Golden Hit but once the season is wrapped up I'll get back to it. You'll find a brief cameo on the Mine album entry for now: https://aurora-mpg.fandom.com/wiki/Mine
Jackson Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/12/2022 at 3:53 AM, Hug said: @Aurorawhere is HAUS/Haus of Cards on Aurora: MPG Wiki? ? Expand i was just thinking someone should bring back the girl group challenge. it was kinda the serve of S11 methinks btw sign me up for element’s challenge - that seems the most like me
fountain Posted June 12, 2022 Author Posted June 12, 2022 (edited) Round 4: The Queer Pride Challenge (late entries edition) @Arrows - Do You Have a Secret? I really like the inspiration behind this song because I think it’s a really bittersweet thing that a lot of us go through in our childhood, that upon late reflection means much more than we originally thought it did, and I think you did a great job of capturing that feeling here in your song. The most obvious thing, and I’m sure you were probably expecting this criticism, is that it’s pretty short. What you have is good, but it could definitely use expansion and more depth to it. Overall I think this song has a lot of potential, though in its current form it’s definitely not your best, but I understand if you ran out of time. With a little more time put into it and some editing, it could be fantastic, so I would sum it up as being a really nice first draft. @Prisoner - Futile I feel like this is a pretty fresh take on the challenge,we definitely have a few entries coming from the perspective of somebody not out, but I like how instead of your song totally being about that aspect itself, the song is about the things that you do as an effect of this, which I think is a really interesting take. If I’m totally honest I don’t think it is lyrically your strongest entry, but here your writing excels more in the telling of the story as opposed to having hard hitting lyrics, which in terms of this challenge I think is fine. Exploring the effects of homophobia like this in a less dramatic and more internal way made for a unique take. Overall I think this is another solid entry from you, and I enjoyed seeing your perspective on this challenge. @Tylerbv - It Gets Better This is definitely an interesting take on the round. There are certainly people who feel this way about pride and the community at large, and I can understand why to a degree. The disillusionment when a community is forced to have to try and embrace being proud due to being so hated by many, and the issues that arise when some people aren’t able to do that to such a degree, are quite interesting; it can definitely feel distancing, and I think you put that across quite well in your entry. The concept of portraying this phenomenon as an amusement attraction was very unique and interesting too. There were also some strong lyrics to point out, such as “there’s a puddle of things I’ve done right and an ocean of wrong”. Overall I think this is a good entry despite you saying it isn’t polished, you’ve tackled quite a complex theme and done well. @mxtthewdelrey - proud to be yours This is such a lovely song. This is up there as another favourite of mine from you. Now, to some this could come across cheesy, but honestly I love it. It’s sickly sweet but it’s so pure and gorgeous, I absolutely loved reading this, it just instantly made me happy. If the straights can have songs like this, we deserve them too, queer love stories that are dreamy and cute to the highest degree with no shame. We love to see it. The mxtthewdelrey stanning era continues. @D e v o n - On my way You have a really great story here and I love the message, the song has a lot of potential, but it just isn’t finished. If it were longer I think this could have been amazing. It’s unfortunate that you haven’t been able to write it in full, but the positive is that you have the beginning to a great song here, just work on it a little more. @8thPrince - Cephalopods Oh this is very interesting. The concept itself. about how heteronormativity can cut away at us and make us feel small is a really good one and familiar one, but the way in which you have executed it in this song is brilliant, profound and unique. I like how you describe things in quite brutal metaphors because I think it works in two ways: it shows the beating down of this person and puts across the message of the song, but it also shows literally that they are a person, their body and their tissue and their guts and their blood are all the same; and I don’t know if you were specifically going for that idea, but it’s genius if so. The image it creates in my mind is so rich too , I can picture this story as a really dark and twisted animation, or something like Coraline even (I’ve never actually seen it but that’s the vibe I get), and that’s a testament to your writing ability and creativity that you have invoked such a thing. I think overall this might be my favourite entry of yours so far, they’ve all been strong and particularly unique, but this one specifically is something special I feel. @JoeAg - Awestruck by the Noise We Create This is a really lovely and intimate song. Your depiction of queer love here is beautiful and unapologetic, and I love it. This is definitely the type of song I was hoping to see this round, something that really demonstrates and showcases the beauty of queer love. If I’m going to be picky, I don’t like the double use of ‘while’ in the lines “while friends rejoice while glitter cascades” and “while family returns while we wail our hearts out”, the second instance of ‘while’ in both lines could have just been replaced with ‘and’ and would have flowed a lot more naturally in my opinion, but this is such a minor thing and really a nitpick. Overall I really loved your song, it was sweet and really beautiful, happy you were able to submit this round! Edited June 12, 2022 by fountain
Remmy Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/12/2022 at 3:59 AM, Aurora said: A whole movie series would be absolutely fine, if you can summarise the events well enough without glossing over too much Expand
Hug Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 I am reading my older songs again, hoping my old stuff would help inspire me in some way. ?
fountain Posted June 12, 2022 Author Posted June 12, 2022 Let’s keep a sign up sheet for fun, there’s no actual limit to how many can choose each challenge but it’d be nice to keep track of who is going for which one fountain’s Cultural Appreciation challenge: 1. 2. 3. etc. Element’s Historical challenge: 1. Achilles. 2. Jackson 3. etc. Aurora’s Multimedia challenge: 1. hurricane326 2. Hug 3. Remmy 4. 5. etc. ——————— my challenge certified FLOP anyway goodnight and hopefully see you all for round 4 results show tomorrow! aiming for around 7pm EDT but as usual will make an announcement post a few hours before to confirm. (reminder this will be the first set of results where we won’t be revealing the scores your entries received)
JoeAg Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/12/2022 at 3:56 AM, Aurora said: @JoeAg your review has been added! Expand haha yep you caught those references correctly!! Kesha, Carly, Lana… i made it very gay all around
Aurora Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 On 6/12/2022 at 4:27 AM, JoeAg said: haha yep you caught those references correctly!! Kesha, Carly, Lana… i made it very gay all around Expand Oop we love that for us. They were subtle enough that I didn't absolutely assume they were references (especially the Kesha one which is pretty niche unless you're up with her unreleased discog) so I think that's the perfect way to use nods like that!
Hug Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 I realized I've never actually researched for a challenge so far this season, I've just wrote what came to me. In what I'd consider to be my most creative season, I did research in like every round so perhaps I need to start doing more of that. ???
DevonRoars Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 @ judges: Work really drains me, but I try to write a little bit every couple of days so thank you for seeing the potential
Hug Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 Oh thank god there's absolutely nothing in Aurora's challenge prompt saying the instrumental has to fit the musical stylings of your proposed media because I'm getting dance club banger from my meter.
TruGemini Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 (edited) Since I didn't make deadline last round I kind of feel like I need to make up for lost time and then one sign me up for all three plz. Edited June 12, 2022 by TruGemini
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