Galah Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 9 minutes ago, Jackson said: OMG @AuroraΒ how long did this take you? Β Β thank you - i totally agree with everything you said & i'm glad you caught the Stardust reference . the dog line was initially worse, but my dog was literally staring at me while i was writing the song and i couldn't cut his cameo out, so i tightened it up a bit but i still wasn't completely enamored with it. i included the closet/pride lines to make sure the song truly fit the challenge in case the pronouns didn't make it explicit enough. i agree with what you said in mxtt's review - i feel like there's a lot of songs about gay people suffering and struggling with their identity, and i've written that song before, so i wanted to just write a completely sappy gay love songΒ Too long smh. But well worth it! Β How could IΒ notΒ pick up on the Stardust reference? My 2/3 finale win ass is STILL traumatised by that song's perfect 10 score washing away any chances of victoryΒ until eight months later hihi. But in all honesty, I knew as soon as I'd read "Stardust" that it was a very special song and I got that same feeling from this one. Even if this doesn't end up matching the former's impossible success, it's just as good in my heart.
Euterpe Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 @fountainΒ @AuroraΒ Thank you for the reviews! I wasnβt sure how the song would go over or if I made theme enough, for obvious reasons. Itβs definitely enough for me that you both liked it.Β
Remmy Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 Quote Have you ever tried writing from a more poetic style? I notice with this song and with your Sigrid song you chose themes that have a lot of depth, but have executed them at times in a more lighthearted and less matured way (in this song Iβm specifically pointing at the βwhy donβt I look like the prom kingβ line), which is interesting because people usually tend to do the opposite. Iβm not saying itβs a bad thing, but it could be interesting to see you try a more matured writing style too if you go for a song concept like this again, just to at least see how it works out and if it compliments the writing. I think itβs worked in both cases so far too, since with this song youβre writing from the perspective of somebody discovering them so they would be at a young age and probably would be concerned with something like being like a prom king, but in terms of lyrics itβs not the most moving to be honest coming from an adult perspective, so I would be careful with that in other songs. But overall I think youβve embraced the challenge very well. I mean I could always try, but that style just isn't me Β i don't have the brain power & vocabulary for all that, honestly! Plus my aftempt at poetry would likely come off as cheesy or pretentiousΒ Β Oop that was actually one of the lines that I was thinking about changing Β Yeah I can see what you mean by that for sure. Most of the song is from the perspective of someone that's either at the end of their high school years or in very early adulthood but I agree that lyric kinda stands out and not necessarily in a good way. Thanks
JoeAg Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 submitted not my fav thus far, but iβm proud of the title and main motif
Augmented Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 All I can say is thank you so muchΒ @AuroraΒ andΒ @fountainΒ
fountain Posted June 11, 2022 Author Posted June 11, 2022 48 minutes ago, Augmented said: All I can say is thank you so muchΒ @AuroraΒ andΒ @fountainΒ It was all you
fountain Posted June 11, 2022 Author Posted June 11, 2022 6 hours ago, JoeAg said: submitted not my fav thus far, but iβm proud of the title and main motif Yay Iβm glad you submitted
8thPrince Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 I submitted to the form like 11 hours ago btw hope that's okay!
fountain Posted June 11, 2022 Author Posted June 11, 2022 59 minutes ago, 8thPrince said: I submitted to the form like 11 hours ago btw hope that's okay! How dare you?
mxtthewdelrey Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 looking forward to everyone's songs inspired by AOTY next round Β Β
fountain Posted June 11, 2022 Author Posted June 11, 2022 13 hours ago, Remmy said: I mean I could always try, but that style just isn't me Β i don't have the brain power & vocabulary for all that, honestly! Plus my aftempt at poetry would likely come off as cheesy or pretentiousΒ Β Oop that was actually one of the lines that I was thinking about changing Β Yeah I can see what you mean by that for sure. Most of the song is from the perspective of someone that's either at the end of their high school years or in very early adulthood but I agree that lyric kinda stands out and not necessarily in a good way. Thanks Well, you could always try! You never know. But itβs up to you ultimately. It did irk me a little though, it felt like the song couldnβt meet its full potential, it was definitely still good but perhaps lacked the insightfulness I was maybe hoping for. But thatβs just my taste on a personal level!
fountain Posted June 11, 2022 Author Posted June 11, 2022 14 hours ago, Euterpe said: @fountainΒ @AuroraΒ Thank you for the reviews! I wasnβt sure how the song would go over or if I made theme enough, for obvious reasons. Itβs definitely enough for me that you both liked it.Β Have you shown it to your friend yet? If so what was the reaction, if you donβt mind sharing?Β
fountain Posted June 11, 2022 Author Posted June 11, 2022 15 hours ago, Achilles. said: Thanks for the reviews! LOL I love that my title faked you both out. I actually considered renaming the song because I felt a bit like βIn The Closetβ makes it too obvious where the song is going to go, but the only other title I considered was βThe Better Part of Meβ and I thought giving away the last line was the less appealing idea. Plus Iβve had the βIn The Closetβ concept in the back of my mind for six years, so it was hard to let go of. Much like all the junk in my closet. Β Β Going from the reviews, it looks like there were many interesting, personal songs submitted this week. Great work everybody. Hate the title tbh Β but the song is brilliant. Β βThere, in the Closetβ is more iconic I think
Remmy Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 13 minutes ago, fountain said: Well, you could always try! You never know. But itβs up to you ultimately. It did irk me a little though, it felt like the song couldnβt meet its full potential, it was definitely still good but perhaps lacked the insightfulness I was maybe hoping for. But thatβs just my taste on a personal level! We'll see, but i wouldn't count on it Β Guess it will mainly depend on the next theme. Although if I continue my pattern then next up is sex bop #3 Β or maybe I'll do a Plot Twist (by Sigrid)
Euterpe Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 13 minutes ago, fountain said: Have you shown it to your friend yet? If so what was the reaction, if you donβt mind sharing?Β I sent it to her before submitting it. She never commented on it and instead told me drama instead. She still hasnβt said anything about it.Β
fountain Posted June 11, 2022 Author Posted June 11, 2022 15 hours ago, Legend E said: I do have to say, however, that I feel these themes are quite tied together, and it basically is overall just a song about someone trying to accept and get over their partner's death but not being able to do so. To me it also doesn't seem similar in execution to the Kelly song, as that was just a big ass metaphor (which I agree was not executed in the best way), rather than a continuous state of questioning, as I feel this song was. But, I will try to trim the fat then next time and I'm really sorry it didn't come across the way I intended it to. Nothing to be sorry about at all, I suppose this is just my Simon moment (although in reality Iβm actually the PaulaΒ ). This song, in this form, just did not really click with me. But like I said, you had a lot of great messages and interesting topics in thereβ¦ they just felt secondary to the story and I felt instead if we got an entry focusing on one of these ideas and exploring it in depth then it might have been stronger in my opinion.Β Β What I meant by the Kelly song comparison was that I felt both had good ideas but just missteps with the execution, with the Kelly song it was the heavy use of metaphors and with this song I felt it was the mix match of topics. While these themes do play a part together none were really given the proper time to be explored as meaningfully as they maybe could have been, because these are really deep and important topics and they were each kind of limited to a line or two when they couldβve been the idea for a whole song instead. Like, instead of this story about somebody losing their boyfriend at Pulse and then spiralling in all these waysβ¦ it couldβve been just a song about one of these specific spirals, instead. Thatβs what I meant by in this case less is more; the story itself at large was probably not needed because the actual topics were much more interesting.Β Β Hopefully this makes a little more sense.Β
fountain Posted June 11, 2022 Author Posted June 11, 2022 4 minutes ago, Euterpe said: I sent it to her before submitting it. She never commented on it and instead told me drama instead. She still hasnβt said anything about it.Β Wow, link her to our reviews so she can see your work being appreciated as it should!Β
fountain Posted June 11, 2022 Author Posted June 11, 2022 10 minutes ago, Remmy said: next theme Again with the singularΒ
Remmy Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 24 minutes ago, fountain said: Again with the singularΒ Well I would think round 6 would be the double(?) theme for an interesting finale Β unless YOU are serving the Plot Twist (by Sigrid)Β after all... a reverse Warholian experience tbh
Galah Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 Hey all. Β Just wanted to inform you of some issues Iβm currently going through. Due to severe weather conditions I lost power yesterday. 18 hours later and itβs still out with no estimated repair time due to ongoing dangerous weather conditions. Β When the power went out I was working on the next challenge as I had something quite elaborate planned for it. Hoping to stick to the Saturday challenge schedule itβs looking like the challenge will have to be scaled back a bit which Iβm extremely disappointed about since I was quite excited about this one. Β This will become clearer in the coming hours when the challenge is posted. I apologise for any delays this may cause as well.
fountain Posted June 11, 2022 Author Posted June 11, 2022 3 hours ago, Remmy said: Well I would think round 6 would be the double(?) theme for an interesting finale Β unless YOU are serving the Plot Twist (by Sigrid)Β after all... a reverse Warholian experience tbh We serve interesting every round baby, not just at the finalΒ
fountain Posted June 11, 2022 Author Posted June 11, 2022 6 minutes ago, Aurora said: Hey all. Β Just wanted to inform you of some issues Iβm currently going through. Due to severe weather conditions I lost power yesterday. 18 hours later and itβs still out with no estimated repair time due to ongoing dangerous weather conditions. Β When the power went out I was working on the next challenge as I had something quite elaborate planned for it. Hoping to stick to the Saturday challenge schedule itβs looking like the challenge will have to be scaled back a bit which Iβm extremely disappointed about since I was quite excited about this one. Β This will become clearer in the coming hours when the challenge is posted. I apologise for any delays this may cause as well. Australia strikes again
Galah Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 Small update: I now have access to a laptop and internet so challenge should hopefully be up within the hour.
Recommended Posts