Cesar Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 Do you have any experience dating a narcissist, i would love to hear your stories and how it ended
Archetype Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 My partner is an extreme narcissist, what do you want to know?
Cesar Posted May 2, 2022 Author Posted May 2, 2022 9 minutes ago, Archetype said: My partner is an extreme narcissist, what do you want to know? how do you deal with it? everyone says you should leave them after all
Archetype Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Caesar said: how do you deal with it? everyone says you should leave them after all It depends on what you're trying to deal with? Narcissists are people just like everyone else. If you know how to handle them and think it's worth it, then do what makes sense for you. Edited May 2, 2022 by Archetype
Oxy Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 Used to be my type, cause I was a young and an insecure heifer.
Buddy Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 If you're in one, get out as soon as possible. There is no happy ending unless you are one too.
dussel_06 Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 It’s toxic. I met this guy a couple of times who only likes to talk about himself. He always find ways to make every conversation about himself. When you share a story of your life, he would then share a somewhat similar story of his life and make you fells his is much better. He never asks questions about you. Sometimes he does so he could share his story without even going deep on your answer. Idk if that’s narcissistic but it’s annoying. I ghosted him. I don’t like dating or being a friend with a person where everything seems like a competition to them and they have to win.
Severus Snape Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 13 minutes ago, dussel_06 said: It’s toxic. I met this guy a couple of times who only likes to talk about himself. He always find ways to make every conversation about himself. When you share a story of your life, he would then share a somewhat similar story of his life and make you fells his is much better. He never asks questions about you. Sometimes he does so he could share his story without even going deep on your answer. Idk if that’s narcissistic but it’s annoying. I ghosted him. I don’t like dating or being a friend with a person where everything seems like a competition to them and they have to win. I find narcissistic people completely unattractive, self absorbed people in general fail to see how people really perceive them and make no progress with their issues or what makes them unlikeable...
Nazareth Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 (edited) First they love you and then they switch. It’s a constant cycle of push and pull. Being punished or discarded for the littlest reasons, walking eggshells and trying to avert disasters. Dealing with a lot of manipulation to the point where your self-esteem is severely damaged. My advice would be to give them the same silent treatment until they come back to you then cuss them tf out and block them. Edited May 2, 2022 by Mercurio
Gesamtkunstwerk Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 Date him if you're ok with: - Your opinions will never matter more than his - Your needs will never matter more than his - Every sweet thing he does for you is to be used against you later - Being punished for the smallest things - Being gaslit and manipulated into oblivion - Constantly having to take jabs at your self confidence until there's no more - Being an extension of another person and not your own individual - Pretty much just existing to validate another person without getting anything back I've never been in a relationship with one, but I had a close family relation with one and the best thing I ever did was to cut them out of my life Unless you are one yourself, it's going to be a painful journey for you.
Arrows Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 Yes, and it was my first relationship at 17, and he was a few years older. Completely ****** me up. He would: break up with me, then say it was a joke, then be angry at me if my reaction wasn’t sad enough. Talk badly and lie about all my friends and family, trying to make me cut them off. Later realized he did this so he could be the only person in my life. Would force me to have s*x even when I really didn’t want to… He didn’t give a single f*ck about me or my feelings at all. When I finally, finally decided to end all of it, he threatened to take his life if I broke up with him. But I knew his narcissism obviously wouldn’t allow that, so I ran away and have had much better experiences with relationships since!
ariananext Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 (edited) Let me get you some texts to sum it up: [before he started University] "Why can't YOU make up your mind about what you want to do tonight? You can not be neutral. What if one day I decide I wanna take you out for dinner? You're gonna be neutral to that and not give me any credit?" after I replied "idk I'm busy now whatever you wanna do is fine" "Why can you not wait for me to finish my basketball practice every night at 10pm and then go out with me? You're stressed about school? Well I make SACRIFICES in the morning when I come see you after school at 1pm when I could stay home and play video games but you can not go out at 10:30pm cause you have school in the morning? You're so ungrateful" [after he started University] "Oh so you want to meet me once a week? Well you have to understand that I live in a CAGE now that I'm in university, I'm treated like a zoo animal here. You can not expect me to see just you on Saturday, I want to be with my friends." it was clearly bull ****, my best friend who was in the same course as him always said it wasn't that stressful and she would go out every night. *after a whole week of just saying goodmorning and goodnight* "I can not give you more attention, you're stressing me out" *I decide to break up with him cause I was just too mad/disappointed and I had just found out that he was gonna break up with me cause he said I was a burden to his busy life* "Oh so you're breaking up with me??? Do you know how much you're hurting me right now? I was going to fix our relationship but YOU don't want to be with me clearly, you're a disappointment" *texts me when he finds out I'm seeing other people* *have sex for the first time* "do you think we're in a relationship now? I know it was your first time, yeah it was cool but it means nothing to our relationship, don't stress me out, what the **** did you expect? To tell you I love you again? You're just too dumb to understand. I don't want to date anybody right now." Later found out he was seeing another girl. Got in an exclusive relationship with a third girl the week after he told me he wanted to be alone. Run babygirl Edited May 2, 2022 by ariananext
ariananext Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 Oh, that relationship completely ****** me up, it took me a lot to trust my current boyfriend.
cash3w Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 1 hour ago, Gesamtkunstwerk said: Date him if you're ok with: - Your opinions will never matter more than his - Your needs will never matter more than his - Every sweet thing he does for you is to be used against you later - Being punished for the smallest things - Being gaslit and manipulated into oblivion - Constantly having to take jabs at your self confidence until there's no more - Being an extension of another person and not your own individual - Pretty much just existing to validate another person without getting anything back I've never been in a relationship with one, but I had a close family relation with one and the best thing I ever did was to cut them out of my life Unless you are one yourself, it's going to be a painful journey for you. perfectly summed up Literally run. Whoever they are, they will never be able to be happy for you unless they are infinitely happier about themselves. Everything was going fine w my ex until I got my dream job after he was rejected from his own dream job(s) twice. Then he snapped it off, used everything nice I ever did against me, and generally stopped caring. It was an ugly break up because he was a narcissist
Dolce Vita Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 I didn’t really “date” him but I had a sugar daddy that was a narcissist. Thank GOD it wasn’t a physical relationship or anything but I gave him the attention he wanted and he gave me money for designer clothes and other things I wanted. He knew it was a transactional relationship but he slowly became obsessed with every aspect about my life so he could have more control over me. He would threaten to end the relationship if I didn’t ring him and text him everyday and would be extremely rude and quickly dismiss anything I said if it wasn’t what he wanted me to say. This behaviour happened repeatedly followed by other instances of gaslighting and manipulation to make me stay with him but I stayed involved with him and pretended to be okay with everything because I wanted his money for the Heaven by Marc Jacobs drop In hindsight it really wasn’t worth enduring hell just for **** I don’t even wear anymore but oh well
Blankspace2010 Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 Get out - they’ve no empathy. Narcissism is a mental illness.
Delirious Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 2 hours ago, ariananext said: Let me get you some texts to sum it up: [before he started University] "Why can't YOU make up your mind about what you want to do tonight? You can not be neutral. What if one day I decide I wanna take you out for dinner? You're gonna be neutral to that and not give me any credit?" after I replied "idk I'm busy now whatever you wanna do is fine" "Why can you not wait for me to finish my basketball practice every night at 10pm and then go out with me? You're stressed about school? Well I make SACRIFICES in the morning when I come see you after school at 1pm when I could stay home and play video games but you can not go out at 10:30pm cause you have school in the morning? You're so ungrateful" [after he started University] "Oh so you want to meet me once a week? Well you have to understand that I live in a CAGE now that I'm in university, I'm treated like a zoo animal here. You can not expect me to see just you on Saturday, I want to be with my friends." it was clearly bull ****, my best friend who was in the same course as him always said it wasn't that stressful and she would go out every night. *after a whole week of just saying goodmorning and goodnight* "I can not give you more attention, you're stressing me out" *I decide to break up with him cause I was just too mad/disappointed and I had just found out that he was gonna break up with me cause he said I was a burden to his busy life* "Oh so you're breaking up with me??? Do you know how much you're hurting me right now? I was going to fix our relationship but YOU don't want to be with me clearly, you're a disappointment" *texts me when he finds out I'm seeing other people* *have sex for the first time* "do you think we're in a relationship now? I know it was your first time, yeah it was cool but it means nothing to our relationship, don't stress me out, what the **** did you expect? To tell you I love you again? You're just too dumb to understand. I don't want to date anybody right now." Later found out he was seeing another girl. Got in an exclusive relationship with a third girl the week after he told me he wanted to be alone. Run babygirl 2 hours ago, ariananext said: Oh, that relationship completely ****** me up, it took me a lot to trust my current boyfriend. Most straight men are like this tho #trash
ariananext Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 1 minute ago, Delirious said: Most straight men are like this tho #trash Oh most of them are insane in one way or another
EdgeofTeeth Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 Being with an actual narcissist is a losing game 100% of the time. It's a mental illness and they can never "grow out of it." Dating one means constantly taking the brunt of their lack of accountability and deflection because they WILL make every single one of their issues about you.
CBC Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 I recommend reading or watching Dr. Ramani's books and videos
RajibDavid Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 OMG, I just ended a short relationship with a narcissist, it was traumatic. They will manipulate you from the beginning, they will lie to you and then ditch you out of nowhere. They will never apologize. Like other people said here, it's a mental illness. RUN GURL !!! I would have run before but I realized he was a narcissist too late in the game. RUN !
Witchpop Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 10 hours ago, Gesamtkunstwerk said: Date him if you're ok with: - Your opinions will never matter more than his - Your needs will never matter more than his - Every sweet thing he does for you is to be used against you later - Being punished for the smallest things - Being gaslit and manipulated into oblivion - Constantly having to take jabs at your self confidence until there's no more - Being an extension of another person and not your own individual - Pretty much just existing to validate another person without getting anything back I've never been in a relationship with one, but I had a close family relation with one and the best thing I ever did was to cut them out of my life Unless you are one yourself, it's going to be a painful journey for you. All of this, and then add in physical violence for the last year as well. I'm 6 months out of the relationship of two years where I was miserable daily but felt TRAPPED. NEVER THE **** AGAIN. Absolutely not worth it in any capacity. I'm in therapy and doing much better but I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than deal with that situation ever again.
Protocol Posted May 2, 2022 Posted May 2, 2022 Idk if he was an actual narc but he grew up wealthy and as an only child so he was incredibly spoiled and selfish. Would only ever think about himself and what he wanted to do, what was best for him in any given situation. It was his way or nothing. I was only casually invested and he decided to cut it, and I am forever grateful even though it stung a little bit, because he then started dating a guy that he never really loved, led the poor guy on for FIVE YEARS to the point where the BF was madly madly in love and thought they were going to get married......and then dumped him. The other guy was absolutely devastated. Moved in with his parents in a horrible depression. It would've ruined me if that had happened to me. It was a real bullet dodged situation because now I realize that he could never truly love another person, he only loves himself.
Recommended Posts