discussion I fought my father.

[ANTIclimatic]

This might be too sensitive for ATRL but I need to vent to strangers. Me and my sibling have had issues with our parents ever since we were young and over the years these issues have been stacking up. We've dealt with domestic violence, rape accusations and pretty much every type of abuse besides sexual. Ever since then I've lost all love I had for my parents and have been minimizing myself to keep peace in the house. My parents are very fundamental Christians from Haiti so not being able to be myself plus dealing with abuse has worn down on me. I'm currently 25 and have been treated like a mentally disabled child.

 

Today right after I got off work, I go to the bathroom and my dad needs me to do something. Instead of waiting for me like I told him he barges in and me having my d*ck out pissing feel upset and violated. I tell him to leave and that's what starts the big fight. He slams the door basically shaking the whole house and I lose my cool and go after him. He stepped up to my and I completely lost it and was ready to fight him. We were so loud that it woke up 2 of my siblings and they had to come between us. I lost all my sensibilities and started to break stuff around the house trying to get to him. it took a full hour and counting for me to come down enough to not attack him on sight. When everything settled he called the cops on me to intimidate me but they showed up and left.

 

I genuinely have lost all care when it comes to my parents but felt so shameful that I acted that way in front of my siblings. They're both in high school but were crying because of the situation I put them through. Right now everything has settled down but I don't know how it's going to turn out. This is more motivation for me to leave because any sense of responsibility I've felt for my parents is dead. The thing is, this isn't even the only time he almost got his a** kicked in the past 8 months by one of us. He disrespected my sister in front of her boss/friend and it took us all to at least mediate the issue. Sorry for the rambling and lol at me lowkey sounding "ghetto".

Edited April 19, 2022 by ANTIclimatic

[ANTIclimatic]

1 minute ago, hurricane326 said:

You sound like someone who stood up for yourself

Thank you

[Chris]

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

 

If you need someone to vent to or talk to, you can DM me if you like and I will listen.

[ZORBIT]

Spoiler

You're not in the wrong at all, our parents, especially this older generation tend to believe their right all the time with their old outdated approaches. I've fought my dad multiple times as well but you as an adult realize what is right and what is wrong, they raised you to be the best of the best right? prove it to them now. Your father, unfortunately, didn't respect your privacy and he feels like invading it will give him more control over his family but you need to clarify that to your siblings that what he's doing is not normal in any functional happy family. PM me if you need advice cause I've learned a lot dealing with stubborn adult children

 

[Into The Void]

What about your mom?

[Into The Void]

Where do you live? Cause your siblings should not be in that environment. I would call CPS.

Edited April 19, 2022 by Insanity

[duybeeGAshantiGA]

Your problem is exactly my problem. Like very very similar. My dad, for MANY TIMES, used knives and scissors to intimidate me and many times it was so close... and that happened since I was a little child. He always said "lemme cut your neck in your sleep and the whole family too and then Ill commit suicide". I was traumatised as a child because of that. Since I was a child, I had dreams where I got killed. 

 

In general, we can never get along, after a fee words there will always conflicts and things will only go down from there. He is the type of person who thinks they are in the right all the time  and everybody has to obey.

 

You and many others here are at least luckier than me because in my country, cops wouldnt even show up in these situations. They will only show up when things are already disasters (you know what I mean) so they just... clean up the mess..  basically they dont care about family conflicts unless you killed someone in the process.

Edited April 19, 2022 by duybeeGAshantiGA

[ANTIclimatic]

8 minutes ago, duybeeGAshantiGA said:

Your problem is exactly my problem. Like very very similar. My dad, for MANY TIMES, used knives and scissors to intimidate me and many times it was so close... and that happened since I was a little child. He always said "lemme cut your neck in your sleep and the whole family too and then Ill commit suicide". I was traumatised as a child because of that. Since I was a child, I had dreams where I got killed. 

 

In general, we can never get along, after a fee words there will always conflicts and things will only go down from there. He is the type of person who thinks they are in the right all the time  and everybody has to obey.

 

You and many others here are at least luckier than me because in my country, cops wouldnt even show up in these situations. They will only show up when things are already disasters (you know what I mean) so they just... clean up the mess..  basically they dont care about family conflicts unless you killed someone in the process.

I'm so sorry you went through that. It's horrible that he made you feel unsafe as a child. A lot of people don't deserve the right to care for children. Hope your in a better place now and I hope you never experience something like that ever again.

[duybeeGAshantiGA]

1 minute ago, ANTIclimatic said:

I'm so sorry you went through that. It's horrible that he made you feel unsafe as a child. A lot of people don't deserve the right to care for children. Hope your in a better place now and I hope you never experience something like that ever again.

He still does that now occasionally. Im sick of it. Im sick of thinking that someday I will potentially get killed if im unlucky that day if he gets too heated and OOC for once..  

 

Wish luck to both of us tho. At least we are not alone.

[ANTIclimatic]

1 minute ago, duybeeGAshantiGA said:

He still does that now occasionally. Im sick of it. Im sick of thinking that someday I will potentially get killed if im unlucky that day if he gets too heated and OOC for once..  

 

Wish luck to both of us tho. At least we are not alone.

Bro that literally broke my heart. Wish I save us both.

[ANTIclimatic]

43 minutes ago, Insanity said:

What about your mom?

She always somehow finds a way to push the blame onto Satan. There can't be fault if you don't admit one. She's sold her heart to religion and hasn't left any me.

[ANTIclimatic]

49 minutes ago, ZORBIT said:

  Hide contents

You're not in the wrong at all, our parents, especially this older generation tend to believe their right all the time with their old outdated approaches. I've fought my dad multiple times as well but you as an adult realize what is right and what is wrong, they raised you to be the best of the best right? prove it to them now. Your father, unfortunately, didn't respect your privacy and he feels like invading it will give him more control over his family but you need to clarify that to your siblings that what he's doing is not normal in any functional happy family. PM me if you need advice cause I've learned a lot dealing with stubborn adult children

 

Sorry about what happened between you and your dad 

[Bacardo Royale]

Sounds like the fight I had with my father in 2019. We haven't spoken to each other since. Sh.it happens.

[ZORBIT]

7 hours ago, ANTIclimatic said:

Sorry about what happened between you and your dad 

Gracias but I've been mourned over the death of the father I wish I had. Now it come's to one’s self on how to process going forward and how to approach that relationship you know won't really change unless they choose to themselves. Thank you for sharing bro 

[ANTIclimatic]

2 minutes ago, Pop pop123 said:

Why do you still live with them?  
Surrounding yourself with constant toxicity, tension, negativity like that would not do anybody good.

 

I would’ve been OUT (financially stable or not).

 

 

I'm not really trying to live on the street plus non of my friends have their own stable housing.

[ANTIclimatic]

17 minutes ago, Bacardo Royale said:

Sounds like the fight I had with my father in 2019. We haven't spoken to each other since. Sh.it happens.

Hopefully me and mines won't speak after this

[JustHoran]

You defended yourself, and did nothing wrong. Proud of you for defending yourself and I just hope you can work on moving out ASAP. It sounds toxic af. I've had an abusive parent so I know how it is too.

[SimpleKindofLife]

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know what it’s like getting physical with toxic family members and I’m left with trauma to this day but am working through it. Sending you love and strength, you’re gonna get through this and eventually be free of those chains

[Swagsauce]

Sorry that happened ...

Move out of your parents house,

 

Edited April 19, 2022 by Swagsauce

[Archetype]

This sounds horrible.  You need to move out for the betterment of your life.  Set an example for your siblings and show them there is a way to grow beyond the cage  your parents try to keep you within. 

[WERKER]

You were in the wrong. He should never have treated you the way he did but acting that way and going down to his level says more of your character than his. It shows your family that you’re able to be on your fathers level. If you are ashamed of your family you need to make a conscious decision to leave and better yourself. 

[Generation Braindead]

4 hours ago, ANTIclimatic said:

I'm not really trying to live on the street plus non of my friends have their own stable housing.

If your not helping with rent/bills and your 25, have to just put your head down in those situations. I was in a lot similar spot with my dad we fought everyday. I moved out when I was 18 and eventually ended up moving back a few years with my mom after he died, it’s hard to be financially stable on your own. Rent prices are crazy. 

[Cheers]

Not people telling him to move out like it's that easy  

 

Stay safe!

[Mariano]

I'm really sorry some of you are going through stuff like that   I hope you'll be able to move out/overcome these things soon enough and live a better life! 

[Bloodflowers.]

sounds like you did the right thing

 

good thing you break stuff around him cause lord knows someone would've broken his face if they were in your shoes, but going to jail for that RAT isnt worth it